2021 GD support thread.

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by motherofboys, Feb 12, 2021.

  1. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx NTNP #4

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    That was my thought process too, that maybe the constant advert for this one dress was a sign! So hard isn’t it?
     
    motherofboys and Catmumof4 like this.
  2. Catmumof4

    Catmumof4 Well-Known Member

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    I bought a first outfit when I first found out I was pregnant for a boy. Had cute bears on it. But I'm having another girl. Iv had to put it away because I kept crying Every time I looked at it! I feel like a failure what are the chances of 6 girls and 1 boy. My son and partner is heartbroken but dealing better then I am inside. My poor partner feels terrible because obv the man determines the sex of the baby. I don't blame him in the slightest!
     
  3. Catmumof4

    Catmumof4 Well-Known Member

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    However I do believe in fate and if this advert keeps calling then you need to answer it xx
     
  4. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    It's hard isn't it? When I was first pregnant with ds1 MIL bought a big bag of white vests and sleepsuits. There were 2 little suits in there covered in bunnies and flowers that looked really girly. I was thrilled we were having a boy as I wanted boys first, but I kept them as I assumed we would have a girl at some point. I did eventually have to get rid of them a couple of years ago as it felt like clutching at straws.
    I do believe in fate and things happening for a reason, I wanted boys so much and BOY did I get them :haha: I had applied for a job a couple of years ago after 3 years of ttc with no luck, I didnt even get an interview but a few months later I was FINALLY pregnant and I had to think I didn't get that job because ds5 was on his way to me, and I would have stopped ttc if I had got the job. Just like this time, I wouldn't have applied if I had been pregnant or has a new born like I had wanted, and yet I got the job after having 14 years with no work! And it seems perfect on the front of it, I can walk there (I don't drive) and I can work around DH work and the boys, my younger ones are home educated so DH and I can't over lap working hours as there needs to be one of us here with them. I HAVE to think that I wasn't supposed to get pregnant pregnant that I could get this job and just hope that there's one more baby out there for me in a year or so. I desperately wanted them to have a close age gap, but hopefully I can keep it under 3 years. And maybe, if everything else is falling in to place, that baby will come a little easier than my last few, and will be a girl.
     
  5. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx NTNP #4

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    @Catmumof4 Aww neither of you should feel like failures! I do get it though, it’s so hard!
    I wish there was a way to know why some couples or more prone to boys or girls. It’s all guess work with the swaying isn’t it?
    Maybe I will get the outfit though…
     
  6. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx NTNP #4

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    Congratulations on the job! I really hope that baby girl is in your near future once you’re settled into your job.
    I also wanted a boy first! My Mother really wanted a boy but had me and then couldn’t have any more babies so she didn’t get her son but has definitely made up for it with grandsons!
     
  7. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    Thank you. I hope we all get our desired genders one day.
    Catmumof4 I agree with jellybean, neither of you should blame yourself, you can't control which sperm meets the egg, sure its down to his sperm to decide which gender you have, but he's realising millions of each and then it's just pot luck.
    It does make you wonder doesn't it? My maternal line had a pattern of girl, boy, then loads of girls as far back as we've traced it. Then my great nan had girl, boy and stopped when her husband was killed in war, and my nan had just the 1, my mum, who then had a girl and twin boys, so I'm the first in the family in god knows how many generations not to have a girl first, or at all!
    Dh family was really boy heavy. His grandad was 1 of 6 boys, he had 3 boys, his dad had 1 girl and 2 boys. His brother and sister had 1 of each, plus our 5 which means out of 9 grandchildren there are 2 girls and 7 boys. Even the only great grandchild is a boy. So you could think genetics, but all his male cousins have had girls so who knows. I probably really did just jinx myself with hoping so much for a boy hahahq
     
  8. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx NTNP #4

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    You’d think with all the science around baby making, there would be more knowledge about how sex is determined beyond a random sperm meeting the egg!
     
  9. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    A friend shared an article that apparently eggs attract certain sperm, so it could be our eggs calling out to those Y chromosomes :haha: I'm not sure on the source though so could have been complete rubbish.
    Gender swaying suggests that things like the PH within our bodies can make a difference, how fertile we are, or ages, our hormone levels... but it still only tips the odds a bit. And given that there's something like a 1 or 2 percent chance of having 6 boys would I have a girl next time just because the odds of flipping tails 6 times in a row is super low, or would I have a girl because I swayed, or even with swaying increasing the chances of a girl, and the odds against another boy, would I still end up having a 6th. I think the not knowing is what makes it hard for me to stick to a sway. I want someone to say "do this, and it'll give you a 99% chance" :haha:
     
  10. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx NTNP #4

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    Yes! Exactly!! Swaying all just feels like guess work and contradictions. I want some solid guarantees I can follow :haha:
    I think it makes it harder to stick to when it’s all so all over the place. I’ll be doing something and then I’ll read that actually someone thinks that sways boy and not girl and I’ll be questioning everything!
     
  11. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    I keep thinking about people that I know with girls or with mix and whether or not they had accidentally swayed. There will be some who seemed to do the "right" things, then others who didn't. When I think about the ones that did I think maybe I should give it more credit, then I think about the ones who didn't and and second guess myself. I'm hoping DH will agree to ttc again and I WILL try my best to stick to it just so I have no regrets as we can't go again after this. It doesn't help that deep down I feel like I'll definitely have another boy.
     
  12. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx NTNP #4

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    It’s hard to shake that feeling isn’t it? I know what you mean!
    I do wonder how much we can do as women. I know the theory of the egg ‘attracting’ particular sperm but I honestly think most of the advice is geared towards women because we tend to be the ones who are more proactive when it comes to TTC in general. It’s never the men on these boards and Googling every little thing!
     
  13. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    Right? And I half blame DH as he's one of the reasons I started wanting a girl anyway, because every time I was pregnant he was convinced it was a girl and would say "she" and use the name we had picked out incase we ever had a girl, and I felt like I needed to give him a girl, and then he just accepted so easily that there wasn't going to be a girl.
     
  14. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx NTNP #4

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    My DH was the same last time. I just knew DS3 was a boy but he kept saying “she” when I would say “he” and it definitely made it more of a thing!
    So I’ve told him to just send those XX chromosomes this time :haha:
     
  15. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    :haha: apparently (I could have been lied to so take it with a pinch of salt haha) in medieval times they thought that girls came from one testicle and boys from another so would tie something around 1 of them. Imagine if that was how it worked though. You could send him in to have just the one side snipped hahahaha
     
  16. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx NTNP #4

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    :haha: I might suggest that to him, see what he says :haha:
     
  17. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    :haha: I'm not sure how well that would go down :haha:
     
  18. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    Hey! How is everyone?
    I can't remember how much I updated in here. But I got a job which I started back in July, so we put TTC on hold. Anyway, I've been ticking along. Sometimes I've struggled, but I've been OK more often than not, with both the idea of waiting and that waiting risks not ever managing to get pregnant again anyway, and with the fact that if I do it's likely to be a boy.
    Until today. Its coming up time that I planned to start ttc again. Dh keeps saying at random times "no more babies" we haven't even discussed it the last few months, he's just come to that conclusion and I don't want to bring it up yet as I'm scared he means it, but also even if he doesn't right now he could still change his mind by New Years.
    The thing that's made it the worst though, is that I had hoped we'd have a baby girl in 2022, and today on Facebook I saw one of those "these boys are getting a baby sister in 2022" posts, and my boys are NEVER on those things, but this time DS5s name was on there. Spelt correctly too. His name is Reuben so not a super common name and the rare times I've seen it has been spelt differently.
    I KNOW these things are just chosen at random, but I SO wish that they weren't and there was something real to back it up. I'm on my period right now which really isnt helping either.
     

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