3 DPO anyone?! **12 BFPs so far & 2 lil angels

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Well I'm not sure if its af, my first and last days of my 4 day period are usually light, but heavier than what I'm experiencing. I've changed my tampon twice and barely anything. It's not really red either like normal. Kinda pinky red lol if that makes sense. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant but I don't understand what's going on.
 
Kesh,
could just be a random light period? I had a 1.5 day period (3.5 days late!) last month that left me boggled. I still don't know what it was. Just mother nature, I guess? For me, I've only been off the pill for 7 months since being on it for 15 years. I'm still observing my natural cycle and how it fluctuates.

Well, on the other hand, some women do bleed when they are first prego, so maybe test if you still have a hunch?

Darn AF! IF she is going to show up, at least she could behave predictably!
 
I agree...it's probably just a light period. I guess if you're gonna get af, that's the way to go though.

Mine starts tomorrow but I wish it would go ahead and start already so it can be officially over with. Was feeling ok with it not working out this month, I really was...but then dh got a response back from the only hopeful job prospect he's had in these 3 or 4 months of applying only to say that he didn't even make the first round. This was for a library job in a small town in VT that didn't pay well. There were over 80 librarians applying! UGH. I can't even imagine how difficult to get popular job would be. (Although small town vt would be incredible!) Madeline and natto...pretty sure you know exactly how we feel here!!

One of my best friends put an offer on a house today and another one texted me out of the blue to update me on her pregnancy...another just announced a few minutes ago that she got her dream job. DEFINITELY happy for them...but feeling like I've been standing still for 2 years now.:cry::cry:

Ah yes, PMS, my old friend...we meet again. /vent (so apologize for this :haha:) I shall end this not with whining but with things I'm grateful for:

A wonderful husband, health, an affordable room to rent in a house, COMFY BED, a job I don't hate all the time, chocolate, wine, my dog...! MUCH BETTER.
 
Kesh and Natto- any further updates? Kesh, did AF come on full force, or still this piddly stuff? Are you still inclined to test?

Steph- wow, when I read your post I felt like I had found a kindred spirit! DH has been looking for a job now for 11 months, some good ones, some really crappy ones, and still nothing. I am so sorry that this is what you are experiencing. I wish I had some insightful advice. You are not alone. We are hoping to hear today about a job that DH is WAY over qualified for, and doesn't even use his PhD skills, but it would be be a job. I understand how it can be deflating to get that kind of news, especially when it is coupled with no success in TTC.

I have also had so many friends randomly tell me about all of their successes lately. Like you say Steph, you are happy for them, but I too can't help but feel like "when is this every going to get better for me???". I literally haven't had any good news about my own life in about 9 months. Ugh.

Anyway, I am seriously considering optioning out of TTC in July. For starters, I have absolutely no libido right now, which is rare for me. And then if DH does not get a job I feel so much pressure on me financially I can't wrap my brain around having to be head of household AND take care of a baby. I know they don't come right away, but it just feels uncertain.

has anybody on this thread ever opted out of a cycle of TTC? Were you glad you did, or did it frustrate you to wait and prolong the process??

Fear not, whether we try or not, I'll stay with you guys!

Oh, and I like the gratitude concept. I am grateful for this forum, my best friend who I couldn't get through anything with, and that today I do have a roof over my head...at least for another 17 days, lol!!!
 
Hi everyone! Well, more of the same on this end.... no AF, don't feel her coming on, and a BFN last night! At this point I am going to wait until the weekend to test I think. My libido has started to return, but my bbs are still killing me. Add heartburn and some nausea to the mix and I've been having some interesting days! I'm trying to stay positive, but I really want to know one way or another. I've read a lot of threads on different sites about women who didn't get BFPs until at least 5 weeks, so I'm just trying to stay in the moment and trust that whatever is going to happen is already happening. :flower:

Steph - did AF show up today?

I totally understand how you guys feel, but in a bit of a different way, I guess. My bf and I are both attorneys - he came out with a big firm job, which he was basically guaranteed our first year. I feel like I have been struggling for four years to find things and I've been successful, but now I just can't find anything in my field. It is so disheartening to go home and listen to him talk about his cases, etc., when I feel like I HATE what I'm doing and am struggling just to stay positive in a position that doesn't even require a law degree. I do pro bono work on the side just to keep current in my field. I love him and I'm so proud of him, so I never tell him it is hard. I'm glad I could say it here. The only thing that helps me is to try and keep things in perspective - these are SUCH difficult economic times. However, it is so demoralizing to feel like it is a struggle to fight for something that you are overqualified for! I really, really hope that your DHs find jobs that suit them, your (growing) families, and that really treasure the skills that they bring to the job!

I know how you guys feel about the whole friends situation. I honestly had to take a step back from so many people from law school because it is such a bragfest. More in line with you guys, when I have friends who are just sharing good news, it can be difficult to be happy for them! I just keep telling myself, today is their day to be happy about something new. My day is coming, I just have to experience this day and maybe tomorrow will be it!

Madeline - how does your DH feel about a break (if you don't mind me asking?) I totally hear you, that is a lot of pressure! Obviously only you know what is best, and I can't tell you my experience as this is our first cycle trying. My only question is do you think that next cycle, when it would be your TWW, you will be wishing you had tried? I'm sure you've thought that over, I'm just trying to look at it from all perspectives. Just please stay in our thread - I would hate to lose you! I feel like we have found an awesome little group and I can't wait to hear all of the great news that is coming all of our ways!

Things that I am grateful for (I can't be left out! :blush:): My family, especially my mom, who is so excited to be a grandmother and who supports me every day, having a job, even if it isn't my favorite, having a bf who cherishes me as much as I cherish him, a fridge full of food, a reliable car, the warm weather, and the will to never, never, never give up!! And DEFINITELY this group!!! :hugs: :hugs:
 
Yep I got af in full force later yesterday. I'm ok with it though, got a new family doctor now since I moved provinces. This new doctor is incredible, she's really taking charge of my fertility issues. She's sending me a referral to a specialist and in the mean time she has a few plans were going to try. She's sending me for bloodwork tomorrow (cd3) to check my fsh levels, progesterone etc, and then on anyway between cd 21-25 she'll check my blood work again for progesterone. Then she wants to do an ultrasound to check my follicles. She said she wants to see if I'm actually ovulating or if my eggs just suck, and then she will get me on something to help me have a baby! It seems like a long process but I'm thrilled because my old family doctor didn't do shit all for me, so this is definitely a step in the right direction.
 
Ready-well, your symptoms and your late period are certainly positive signs. Are you often late or have a variable cycle? It does seem that waiting a few more days to test makes sense. Getting BFN's daily without any explanation would very irritating and you'd be no closer to knowing what is going on!

Thank you for your perspective too about the job stuff and life perspectives. I can totally see how it would be hard to live with somebody who is thriving and liking what they do when you are not feeling the same about what you do. I bet you worked really hard to get the education and experiences you bring to the table, so not being able to realize your full potential would be frustrating! You have helped me see how my DH might feel about me and my job. I enjoy my job and I found it right when I was graduating from grad school-no employment gap! He has been looking so hard and we literally have been willing to move anywhere in the world for his job if need be. Even with that, nothing. Lots of interviews, no offers. The job he is waiting on is nothing near a dream job, but it is career momentum. It is easier to find a job when you have one, right?? (or maybe not??!!!)

Keep up the positive intentions and the commitment to never giving up, one day it will shift. It really is a crummy job market out there and that is nothing to take personally at all.

As for skipping a month of TTC, DH wouldn't be thrilled. We had the conversation this past weekend (when I was having a meltdown about our life, mind you) and he really stood up for wanting us to keep trying. He proclaimed out loud how much he wants a kid and reminded me of how much I want it. This was really profound because 1 year ago I was literally having to beg him to even think about us having a baby one day. He was against it all through grad school and thought we'd be better off without a kid. t was all fear around his capacity to parent and provide, and we've done a lot of personal work (read: therapy and lots of tearful conversations!!) to get to the place of us both wanting it.

You know what it really is for me, it's that I'm so tired of "waiting". The TWW is just another waiting period I have to deal with. We have been waiting for so much in the past 7 months. First it was waiting to TTC until DH had a job. Then it was waiting for his job prospects and imagining what it might be like to live in all these different places he interviewed. Then it was waiting for the news about the job and us waiting to decided to move. Now it's waiting to hear about a rental we want, and another job wait. Oh, and my job is now insecure come Oct, but last week I heard that it 'might' be funded again, but I have to "wait" until mid summer to know.

Bah!! No more waiting, please! I feel like I'm at an airport waiting for a plane that never comes, lol!!!

But, in the spirit of staying committed to having faith and moving forward, I will close this rant with some more gratitude:
I am grateful my DH wants a kid, finally. I am grateful that I have loving parents that are healthy and well, and that my own health is good. I'm grateful that I have an able body that I enjoy and that I am healthy to have a baby. At this moment, I am also grateful for the Coke Zero I put in the fridge at work and forgot about until now- refreshing break!
 
Kesh89 said:
Yep I got af in full force later yesterday. I'm ok with it though, got a new family doctor now since I moved provinces. This new doctor is incredible, she's really taking charge of my fertility issues. She's sending me a referral to a specialist and in the mean time she has a few plans were going to try. She's sending me for bloodwork tomorrow (cd3) to check my fsh levels, progesterone etc, and then on anyway between cd 21-25 she'll check my blood work again for progesterone. Then she wants to do an ultrasound to check my follicles. She said she wants to see if I'm actually ovulating or if my eggs just suck, and then she will get me on something to help me have a baby! It seems like a long process but I'm thrilled because my old family doctor didn't do shit all for me, so this is definitely a step in the right direction.
Click to expand...

Hi Kesh,
bummer about AF, but yay to the fact that you have what sounds like an amazing doctor. What is it that originally inspired you to get your fertility checked more closely? I haven't done that yet, it's only been 4 months of trying, but I know that I was advised to go in if no baby at month 6 of trying. Did something specific happen that makes you wonder if you ovulate? Have you been TTC a while? Just curious to see if maybe I'm missing something in my own fertility!!! Thx!

Does low progesterone have any symptoms associated? Maybe I will google...
 
My phone can't handle all this novel writing haha! I use my phone because my computer broke a few weeks ago. I had to upgrade my phone plan to handle the.onslaught of calls I get for my job so that's when I bit my tongue and got a smart phone.

Madeline back away from the Google!! You'll only find out you have every disease and ailment known to man!:haha: 4 months isn't too bad.

Funny you should mention taking a break frim ttc. Granted this was only our second cycle ttc but I was also thinking about it. It is a stress worrying. Actually I was thinking more about taking a break but now I'm not so sure. I guess we can decide in a couple weeks. Madeline you may have no problems at all! If you are concerned, you can see a doctor early maybe? It might help put you at ease.

Natto...that is frustrating! Everyone says.it's a hard job market and to.not take it personally but how can you not?? I looked for work for almost 4 months without even a bite. My old job offered me a job when they got more money, it's a nonprofit. If it hadn't been for that, I'd still be looking!! My job is also contract...it's a constant roller coaster: you have work!No you don't. Yes you do! Haha!

Sounds like we're all under a lot of stress. Why are we ttc??? We must be mad!!
Anyway that's awesome that you can be good to him and not resent him for his success. Aldo cool you do probono work. How do you like it?
Kesh... so glad you have a new Dr who cares. That makes all the difference!! What province are you anyway? Glad af finally decided to act normal so you can start over with this Dr. Definitely keep us updated!
 
hey I have felt just like you, though my hubby and I both have a job, he gets very little hours so I bring in the main income. For years I worried about how I would cope but I realised that you can't let something like work and money stop you from having a family cause everything always works out in the end. And I have found that people who talk about how good there life is usually do so cause they are unhappy about something and feel the need to validate it through others, the grass isn't greener on the other side, its just a different shade x
 
knitter- so true, grass is not greener!!!
You guys have given me a lot to think about with the plan for TTC next month. I'll have to talk to DH and see what we will do. I do think I might regret waiting a month if I don't try, but we will see.

Well, I have a bit of good news; we got word that we did get the house that we want to rent! We'll move July 8th, which gives us a week to get out of our current place. One less wait to endure! I'm excited. It is a home (whereas now we are in an apt) and it feels like a place we'd want to have a baby in :)
 
That's great news, Madeline!! I love that extra time too to move:)a house is soo much better than an apartment!!
 
Well ladies, AF showed up today! Actually I woke up in the middle of the night to some pretty bad cramps. So I am out for this month! I think it was actually much harder on df than me. He was really getting excited, I was trying to stay zen about it lol. I'm feeling very positive - gives me an extra month to find the job I'm searching for and for us to get more settled in df's house. I am moving in with him and renting my condo - one more month of being able to lift boxes, etc., isn't a bad thing! Plus now I can try for a little Aries! :haha: I've also made the decision to be really conscious in not cursing "the witch," as without a regular cycle I couldn't conceive. So I'm thinking my body for doing what it should do when I'm not pregnant and moving on to next cycle.

Knitter - welcome! Yes, the grass always looks greener, doesn't it? Hard to keep perspective on the fact that we all have our struggles and victories. :flower: How are you doing in your TTC journey?

Kesh - Yey for finding your new doctor! That's wonderful. How great to feel like you've found someone who is supporting and empowering you in TTC.

Madeline - CONGRATS!!!! A new house, how exciting! I'm sure it is a huge relief. I completely understand how you feel about waiting. I feel like I have these existential moments (esp in school) where I felt like I am waiting for my "real life" to begin. Like I'm in some sort of holding pattern. I don't want to wake up when I'm 50 and realize my life has just been a series of "just make it until ______" thoughts, whether that's the end of finals, a new job, I get married, pregnant, etc.... I guess the goal is to allow yourself to accept that this is real life, in all of its chaos and uncertainty! Ack!! I'm sure seeing you with no employment gap (holy smokes, congrats on that btw!) was hard for him. But when you talk about you two, whether it's about employment, TTC, etc., it sounds like underneath it all you guys really communicate about what is going on, how you feel about things, etc. I'm sure you two will be able to process what you choose to do this month and be on the same page. :hugs:

Steph - LOVE my pro bono work. All I did through law school was wrongful conviction and death penalty appellate work. I do pro bono work for the county and state public defender's offices to stay current and feed my passion. I'm biding my time lol! Any news on your TTC decisions? I'm hoping Kesh and I aren't the only ones who are trying this month haha! So true - we all sound like we are in places of uncertainty. What a time to TTC, also such work of the fates to bring us all to the same BandB thread lol!
 
Natto--sorry AF arrived but I'm glad the pesky wait is over. Now you can start afresh! How long til you think you'll O?

And dang it, you are so right about just living in the moment and waiting for life to start. I have a bad habit of doing that. There's ALWAYS something I'm waiting for. It's good to remember that what I have right now is just fine and it's preparing me for whatever lies ahead. Right now, we all get the wonderful chance to take trips, go on a date without planning ahead, sleeping in and cuddling on a day off together...just continue to enjoy spending time together before kids interrupt that. Kids are going to be great but they will change our lives in ways we can't even imagine now.

I will probably lose all my friends I have now. Are any of you thinking that will happen to you? All the friends I regularly hang out with are vehemently anti-kids...almost to the point where it's ridiculous. Even though I do have some friends who are not has hateful toward children, they aren't at all in a place where they are going to start families or what to be around a mom with hair everywhere and vomit on her shirt.

Anyway...no AF yet for me but I know I am not pregnant. I took a test yesterday at 14 dpo and it was stark white bfn. I guess for some reason my lp is longer this cycle. Anyone else have that?

I think we will go ahead and try next month. What do we have to lose? How about you, Madeline, have you decided yet? So crazy, you're right, that we all ended up in the same thread.

Thanks for keeping me sane!! :hugs:
 
Hi Ready,
sorry for AF, but I love your perspective. You are so right, without AF, there is no capacity to conceive. I guess it's just our desire to NOT see her as an indication of conception that makes her the witch (in my mind). I might consider your attitude about AF though! I also like your perspective on timing. Yes, moving is hectic, so maybe it's a blessing that you have the energy to do the heavy lifting before your little bean settles in and takes priority in the energy dept. Good luck with the move, hope it's a smooth one!

It's awesome that you do pro bono work and you love it. That can sometimes offset a frustrating 'day job' experience, so glad you have it. I do some work on the side too, teaching yoga and healthy cooking classes. It definitely fills my cup when the 9-5 (mostly desk job) gets a little dull....

Well, I think I'm throwing my hat in the ring to TTC next month. My spirits are a bit lifted with the house thing, and hearing the perspectives of you wise women on this forum has helped me see that above all, I really want a family. So, gotta do what it takes!
I haven't wanted to BD in a couple of weeks (poor DH!), but maybe the good news will perk me up!! It's not like me to not want to BD, but I really do think it's just circumstances.

Oh my, we have have an Aries baby, I'll have an Aries DH and and Aries kid- yowza!!

Anybody using OPKs? I use the cheapies and not sure they work, but I'll give one more shot. I also check cervical mucus and position. I don't do BBT, but might go that route if no BFP in a couple of months.

When does everyone ovulate next month (presumably?) My big O day is July 5th.
 
Yes, ready to start fresh! I actually got preseed and OPKs for this cycle (I ran out today - I always feel like I have to be doing something lol.) I think the preseed is a good idea. I'm on an anti-depressant and I swear it messes with my cm. I never have the EWCM that other women talk about. I am going to use the OPKs this month, more because I'm curious about my own body. We do frequent enough BD'ing, but I am so curious as to how my O cramps line up with my actual O. I get about 3 days of O cramping so it's hard to know when the eggie is actually released! I also decided I'm going to take this cycle off from drinking all together, just for my own health.

Steph - I worry about that all of the time. I have friends who are openly hostile to children and also a lot of friends who are just not in the same place. DF and I are 33 and 31, most of our law school friends are mid-to late 20s, and they are still into partying hard, etc. I know we will be alienated from a lot of our friends. The only kid-friendly friends I have are my two best friends - on in Maine, on in Seattle. Maine couple has a 12-year-old and Seattle bestie's wife is pregnant with their first. Luckily DF has friends with kids, but I foresee a lot of time with them, my family, and not many of my current friends. I'm so sorry your friends are somewhere between ambivalent and hostile toward children! That has to be hard and isolating. That's a big part of why I reached out on B&B, I felt like I needed a community going through the same things. But like you said, kids change EVERYTHING. Your routine will change and naturally bring people into your life with children and you will find new friendships.

Madeline - hormones plus stress, it can kill the BD'ing urge! Mine is so predictable, in fact it was a big reason that at first DF didn't think I was preggo. I want to BD from CD1 to like 20, then nothing - so obviously attached to my hormones lol. I'm sure it's circumstantial for you - you guys have been dealing with a lot of stress! That's awesome that you teach yoga and healthy cooking classes. I was raised in a macrobiotic home and my dad did macrobiotic counseling all my life. Helps a lot to work something you are passionate about into the workdays when they are less than stellar lol.

So Madeline's O day is July 5th, mine is going to be between July 14-19th (predicting based on last month). Steph, what about you do you think? I guess it is hard to know when you haven't started AF yet? I'm so happy you are both going to try this cycle! :happydance:I hope we all get our BFPs! This will be my first month using OPKs, I don't know how to check CP and don't know if I will start yet. Madeline - an Aries husband and kid, that would be a lot of fire lol! I was secretly really hoping for a little pisces baby (I may be biased, as I'm a pisces!) :haha:

Weekend starts soon! Anyone have big plans? I'm going to be by the pool as much as possible! DF is in a songwriter group that we are hosting on Sat as well. :flower:
 
Steph- oh, my heart sank for you a bit in reading your post about your friends. Is it an age thing that makes them so anti-kid, or truly their long-term stance? Do they know you are TTC? What is their response? Sometimes those who are anti-kid really do end up making the best 'auntie' and 'uncle', they just don't want their own!! We sort of have the opposite situation. Pretty much everybody we know, with a few exceptions, has kids and we are the last to do so - and the oldest (with one exception!). My soon-to-be sis in law and I are the only who don't already have a family or are done having all their kids. It's hard. I get jealous all the time and feel totally left out when I meet up with my friends with kiddos. They can talk about things I don't relate to in many ways, yet I desperately want to be like them and have what they have.

Thank goodness for BandB forums. I don't know where all of you live, but I'm so grateful I decided to respond to Tynmeg's post about 3Dpo...fate to bring us together across the miles!
I hear that when you have kids, building community with other kid-friendly adults is easier because you are in that environment.

Well, I'm hoping the BD urge comes back. DH hasn't had it either-attributed to the stress and also the fact that it's insanely hot where we are (100 degrees today!). Heat kills our libidos, especially when we can't cool down the apartment at night. We got the A/C cranking right now, so maybe it's a BD kind of night, lol!

Ready- I haven't tried preseed- must look into that. Do you buy online? Any place you like best?

This weekend I am going to a baseball game tomorrow in the Bay Area of CA (I live in Northern California) (Go A's) and then I'm packing, packing, packing to move! Natto-your songwriter group sounds pretty cool! DF has many talents- lawyer by day, songwriter by night? Do you write too??
 
Madeline--I think its a bit of both that makes them anti-kid. My friends that are in their low thirties are the ones that are most aggressively anti kid. They see a young child and look disgusted even if it's sitting quietly so I definitely hope they don't have kids! I can't imagine having so little empathy. I understand not liking undisciplined and bratty kids, or a 2 year old going through a natural annoying stage of brattiness, but how can you forget so easily that you were a kid once too? And actually, they aren't all that bad! Although 2 year olds... *shudder*

But having friends who all have kids and you don't sounds just as painful, maybe even more so. It seems all or nothing, I guess. Natto you're right...we'll meet new people once we do stat a family and it will all work out :D

100 degrees!! Gross!! It's hitting 90 here in Seattle and everyone's panicking haha. Northern California is really pretty though :D A baseball game is a perfect way to celebrate summer. And that IS very cool you teach yoga, madeline...I really need to get into that. what kind do you teach?

Natto, I remember Cincinnati being so hot from the three times Ive been there...it gets pretty humid so a pool weekend sounds like a good idea, too! What kind of music does the man write? Sounds pretty cool.

Tonight I'm hosting a bachelorette party for a friend and I don't want her to know we're ttc and I'd like to be free to drink. So this brings on a new question-- I still haven't started. I took a test yesterday and stark white BFN on a frer 6 days sooner (the super sensitive test) which has me wondering...wtf is going on. My lp is always 14 to 15 days. Up until 3 months ago, my cycles were always 29 or 30 days. This one is now 34 which is the longest one Ive ever had in my life. I wouldn't be concerned if I just ovulated super late, and although I did ovulate later than usual, it was still 16 days ago (I'm at 16 dpo) I haven't been on a form of birth control in 5 years so my body has long since regulated. (tracking cycles has been my bc)

So I was going to be at the same place as you, Natto, for a anywhere from July 14-18 o date. Except how can I start counting if I haven't gotten my period? Also the last 3 days I've had cm when i've wiped...just the low fertile chunky kind. Why is my lp so long arrgghhh!!!

I know there's more to address than just what I wrote but I wanted to get my question in before this evening.
 
I guess all I had to do was write that post....fifteen minutes later my period started :haha: that answers that!! Have a great weekend!
 
Oh, rats! so sorry Steph. But, the good news is that you can be in it with us next month. I hope you have an easy AF this month.

So, I had an odd experience this morning. I check my cervical mucus pretty much daily as a way to help predict my ovulation. Today I am at CD10. I had copious EWCM this morning. What?? That shouldn't happen until about Wed or so, based on when I expect that I would ovlulate, which is Friday.

I am no wondering if all this time I was missing my O day, because maybe my LP is longer than 14 days? I have OPKs, but they haven't been very helpful in the past, maybe because I was waiting too long to use them??

The good news is that we did BD last night, and I can foresee more BD in the near future if, in fact, I am ovulating earlier than expected.

I also bought some preseed- thanks Ready for the idea. I found it at target and only $20!! I have to say, it's the most I ever spent on lube, but if it helps in TTC, it is money well spent. It would be ironic if I didn't need it now b/c I really do get EWCM, just not when I expected that I would. In the past 2 months I never really felt that I experienced true EWCM, but maybe it's because I was not tracking closely when it really occurred. Hmm...
 
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