Thank you ladies for all of your kind words it really means so much!
I had my ultrasound this morning. The doctor prepared me before they did the scan that he didn't want me to have any expectations and many early pregnancies do not last.
They did the scan and did find a heartbeat this time. The conversation quickly became very unsettling. The doctor is not happy with the baby's growth. I am 7 weeks and the baby is measuring 6 weeks 4 days and the heart beat is only 88 bpm. He said at 7 weeks it should be around 110. We left being told this probably was not a viable pregnancy and to mentally prepare ourselves. They want us to come back next Monday to check and see if the baby has a big growth spurt, but they don't seem to think that is what will happen. They also said to call if I have any bleeding or want to talk but this was not a good visit and everything is NOT okay.
I am feeling blindsided. I am feeling lots of symptoms of pregnancy. I can't button my pants, I'm unbelievably exhausted, I'm having weird cravings, food aversions, headaches, and some nausea. I don't get it.
I feel gutted. I don't know what to think. On one hand I'm so happy they were honest. I prefer an honest professional conversation vs. a sugar coated version. I am also feeling so unbelievably disappointed and sad.
More of my coworkers have announced their pregnancies in the last few weeks. One of which is a week ahead of me. She and I work very closely and I just don't know how I'm going to handle seeing her go on in her pregnancy if this does not progress for me. I have not told people at work only my boss. I'm so so unbelievably happy for everyone, but my heart is aching even more than ever now. UGH.
