30-Something Moms!

[sweetscarlet]

Welcome sweetscarlet. I know how you feel. I'm the only one in my family and group of friends that's not in the "kid club". You'll find lots of support and understanding here.

I have kids from a previous marriage, but my youngest is 10. So this is all new all over again.

 

[KatieMK]

Hello SweetScarlet and TropicalDoll! Welcome! (God, I love that emoji.) You'll find good company around these parts, with lots of people in different stages. It's fun to get advice from people who are further along, and to hear about coming attractions! Although, TBH, I'm looking forward to doling out some of that advice myself! Now my body just has to cooperate! (I LIKE THIS ONE TOO!)

Fleur: DH was really great. After I went through all the biology and ended with "So, if the egg manages to get fertilized, and then manages to make it to the uterus, it's kind of important that there's not a period already going on so it can attach to something" he was like "ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Well. I understand why you are worried now." Which, I have to tell you, WAS SO AFFIRMING. It was like, yes, this is a legit thing, not just me imagining problems. I haven't shared that we're TTC with many people, and right now I am SO GLAD, because the few I have told are CONSTANTLY telling me to relax and "let things happen". Even when I haven't SAID anything to them about how things are going! It drives me crazy! I don't think I'm being unreasonable, I feel like I'm educating myself, and working on helping my body optimize for pregnancy in normal ways. I mean, we're TRYING to conceive, right?? TRYING being a very important part of that phrase. blerg. Rant over!

My vitex should be appearing today, and I shall consume it based on your recommendations Twinsie. I think this cycle was a little out of the "normal" Turtle... I think I probably got at least another 2 days out of my previous LPs. I'll do the OPKs again, take the vitex, and see what happens. I've been doing a lot of reading on progesterone deficiency, and it's been eye-opening. It's like when you read your horoscope and are like OHMYGOD THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. It's something to talk to my GP about when I have my next appointment, even if the vitex corrects the reproductive issues.

 

[cutieq]

Katie, progesterone seemed to be the solution for me.

 

[Turtle0630]

Fleur, I think that sounds like a good symptom to me! It seems reasonable that being pregnant would make you just feel "off" sometimes. There's a lot going on in that body of yours!

Cyrstl, so is your OBGYN appointment today? Good luck!!! I can't wait to hear how it goes! I hope you leave there feeling nothing but optimistic about your next steps. Oh, and we got a new mattress and box springs a few years ago and it was a little taller than our old one as well. Our dog had the same reaction! It was really cute, and funny.

Sweetscarlet and TropicalDoll, hi and welcome to you both! Happy to have you joining our wonderful group of ladies!

Katie, I'm really happy to hear that DH was so understanding about why your worried, and that it helped you feel less "crazy" about it. Not that you are crazy about it, not at all. But that doesn't stop us from sometimes FEELING that way! I do hope that you're right and that this last cycle wasn't the norm! Good luck with the Vitex, that's awesome that it's already arrived!

Fleur, I'm doing well, thank you! When there's not much going on my way I'm better at just asking about other people. I either O'd yesterday or will be today. I had a +opk yesterday morning that was negative by the time I tested again in the afternoon. FF has me down for O day being today based on the positive yesterday, but I definitely felt O cramps yesterday evening so I'm leaning towards it being yesterday. I know you can have those sometimes before, during or after O so that doesn't necessarily mean anything, but from back when I was temping I was able to confirm that my O pains have always been during O, not before (based on my temp jumps the next day). So I think it's pretty safe to assume it was yesterday. We dtd on Wednesday, Saturday, and Monday and I'll shoot for again tonight. With DH's low sperm count, doing it again yesterday wouldn't have done us much good anyways so I didn't even bring it up. Last cycle we had a fight that turned into a long, serious talk about how ttc is kind of killing our sex life (and how he feels kind of used sometimes and doesn't like to feel like it's always about ttc) so I think pushing for it again yesterday when we just did it on Monday, when it most likely wouldn't have done any good anyways, would have been more harmful to our relationship than good for our chances. It wasn't worth it to me.

 

[Twinsie]

Welcome ladies!'

Crystl- how did your appt go???

Turtle- you have good chances this month !! Fx!! My DH has low sperm count too, we only BD the day I O'd and 3 days before. And it worked. You are right about not over doing it, won't help your chances and could actually hurt them. Good thinking!

Fleur- how are you doing?? Are you still holding out on a scan??

Katie- haha yea it's great when you discover the culprit for why you may not be getting prego! I hope vitex is all you need and your bfp isn't far away!!!!! I want more prego buddies!!

Afm: Good news is I'll be 9 weeks Friday!! Bad news: nausea has set in 100% now!! I wake up nauseous and it never goes away!! GO AWAY! You are not wanted here!! it's bittersweet though since I know that just means the baby is growing! Also, baby does NOT want me to eat bananas! I love bananas, and always have, but I went to eat one yesterday and it did not go well!!! baby does however love spicy food and I can not get enough of chili!!!! And buffalo wings! And pizza with hot sauce on it I'm gonna gain ten pounds before the first trimester is over

 

[crystlmcd]

Welcome to the new ladies. I hope you find the support here that you need.

Twinsie - I think I'll be excited if baby loves buffalo wings when I get pregnant!

AFM - I had my OBGYN appointment today and I feel so much better now. She suspects PCOS but when they did an ultrasound, my uterus and ovaries did not show any signs of PCOS. So, she ordered CD3 labs and will wait until that is done to confirm if it truly is PCOS (and to rule out anything else). Unfortunately, that's a couple weeks away so I have to wait. Once she confirms PCOS, she's ready to start me on Clomid for a couple cycles and explained all of that to me. She also explained about moving on to IUI and how all of that works. She also ordered a SA for DH which he is THRILLED about.

It was so nice to see a doctor who actually listened to me and didn't treat me like I didn't know what I was talking about.

 

[cutieq]

yay progress crystl! It feels so good to have a doctor that listens.

 

[JoyofMyLife]

Hi sweetscarlet & tropical doll.

Katie, I'm glad you were able to share your concerns with DH and that he was so understanding. TTC is one of the hardest and most stressful things to go through, especially when you feel like your body isnt doing what it's supposed to, and it definitely helps to feel supported during the ups and downs of this process. I hope Vitex helps do the trick and your BFP is just around the corner.

Twinsie, congratulations on hitting 9 weeks. Sorry you're feeling so nauseous but glad the baby is at least letting you enjoy some guilty pleasures. Pizza, buffalo wings and chili sound soooo good right now. I've already gained close to 25lbs and I still have 15 weeks to go, but its not good to deprive the baby, right? (That's what I keep telling myself! )

Turtle, yay for Oing! It sounds like you have a good BDing schedule. I know a few people, myself included, who ended up fighting with their SOs over BD schedules. TTC definitely takes the romance out of sexy time. Hang in there! You guys will get your BFP soon and then you can go back to good old fashioned love making!

Crystl, I'm so glad everything went well with your doctor! It's great that she's going to do testing first so you can get some answers before you move on to the next phase of treatment. Clomid was a miracle drug for me and I've read so many success stories about what it's done for other people. I have a really good feeling that it will do the trick for you too if you decide to go that route.

 

[2b4us]

Hello to the newcomers!

Great to hear that the appointment went well crystlmcd! Sounds like you covered a lot of ground and should have some answers very shortly. You been sleeping like a queen in that new bed?

Fleur, you have some symptoms!

FX this is your month turtle! Don't men want us to use them???

Not looking good on my end ladies. I've been cramping most of this evening, the spotting is increasing and changing color for the worse. The waiting has been hell and I just hope that when it lets loose, it does so quickly. I've been struggling between sadness and anger today.

 

[Turtle0630]

Twinsie, thanks, and that's encouraging! We did manage to dtd last night so I'm happy with our schedule this month! I'm really sorry that your nausea has been kicking in full force now, but I love the foods you're craving! I think you have to give baby what baby wants.

Crystl, I'll also be thrilled if baby wants wings when I get pregnant, and I know DH will be as well! He can't get enough of them! I'm SO glad to hear your appointment went so well yesterday and that you left there feeling satisfied with her answers! I love that she already has a good feel for what she thinks is going on and better yet, a plan in mind for how to "fix" it! Those are the same steps my doctor started with and we got a lot of answers out of just those couple of tests! And believe me, DH was less than thrilled about doing the SA too! When is he going to go in and have that done?

Joy, thank you for that! It really sucks that something that's supposed to be so much fun ("Oh we have to have lots of sex in order to try to make a baby? Okay!") ends up being so stressful and hard after time goes by. Hehe, I like the way you look at the eating/weight gain...you can't deprive baby!

2b, you would think they would, right?! I think part of it is that the routine of it all was starting to get a little boring to him too. Especially since I'm not exactly great at making my advances towards him be sexy, even before ttc. It's just not something I'm good at. But since that talk I've been trying to spice things up a little bit and I think it's been working! I'm SO sorry to hear that you've been having cramping and that the spotting is changing colors now!!! How are you feeling today? When you saw the doctor for it earlier this week, did they say to come back if anything like that happened? Or do you just have to wait it out at home? I am still so hopeful for you that it's nothing and that your body is just playing a mean trick on you. Take it easy and rest as much as you can, and please keep us updated! We're thinking about you!!!

 

[crystlmcd]

2b - I'm sorry you're having cramping and the spotting is getting worse. I really hope it's all just a fluke and everything is normal. I am living the new bed!

Turtle - my doctor actually puts in the SA order and DH just has to drop a sample off at their lab so we'll be doing that saturday. Hopefully everything comes back normal in that department.

 

[Turtle0630]

Oh, he gets to do at it home and just drop it off? That's MUCH better than having to do it there! DH kind of had that option, but they said it had to be there within 30 mins and we live about 20-25 mins from the facility on a good, no-traffic day. And their hours were so weird that he would've had to take off work for it. He works like 5 mins from the facility, so it just made more sense logistically for him to do it there. But it was terrible! He called me from the room saying he couldn't do it...that it was the size of a storage closet, that there was nowhere to sit down, there wasn't any "material" to look at (I guess they expect you to just use your phone? Makes sense, just wasn't what we expected due to movies and tv shows! ) and worst of all, it was FREEZING in the room. He said "I don't know how they expect you to take your pants off when it's so cold in here!!!" I felt so sorry for him, and between my giggles I begged him to at least TRY. Thankfully, he was able to! I think your DH will have a MUCH better experience at home, with you! I told DH that if he has to do a second sample sometime, he should just take off work so he can do it at home and drop it off.

 

[Fleur828815]

2b4us, is there any way you can go in for a scan this week? I SO hope that it’s not what you’re fearing, some women do bleed without any consequence to the baby. An ultrasound should give you some answers. I’m thinking of you, please keep us updated.

Welcome sweetscarlet and TropicalDoll.

Katie, aww, it feels so good no to bear the burden of TTC alone! I don’t think men understand QUITE how complicated it is to manage to fall pregnant. You are perfectly right not to talk about it with lots of people, you definitely don’t want the unsolicited advice. Everyone will have an opinion! But as you say, you’re trying and you’re doing your best to be healthy and do things the right way, so you will get there.

Turtle, I know your DH has a low sperm count but it only takes one, and my BDing schedule wasn’t better than that when I fell pregnant this time:.

Twinsie, yay and ugh about the nausea… It’s supposed to be a good sign but I hope you won’t suffer too much. Have you noticed any weight gain till now? I’m becoming more flabby but it’s because I’ve stopped going to the gym and I’m eating lots of biscuits, oops. I easily get nauseous even when I’m not pregnant so I’m surprised I’m not affected by it now. I won’t complain though, as long as everything is going well. I haven’t decided about the scan yet… I’m supposed to go back when I’m around 10 weeks.

crystlmcd, I’m glad you’re feeling better after your appointment. A doctor who listens and understands really makes all the difference. Did you ask about the mid-cycle spotting? I can understand DH not being overjoyed about the SA but he has to play his part too, and at least it’s not an invasive or painful test! I hope things will speed up now and that you’ll soon be part of the kids club too.

Joy, no, it’s not good to deprive the baby. I’m blaming all my biscuit-eating on him.

cutie, how are things?

 

[Fleur828815]

Cross-posted with crystlmcd and Turtle.

crystlmcd, that doesn’t sound TOO bad, less embarrassing than doing it at the clinic or lab.

Turtle, I shouldn’t laugh but I did! Although I’m convinced it’s better to use your own phone for “stimulation” than the magazines I don’t know how many men have touched

 

[KatieMK]

Oh, he gets to do at it home and just drop it off? That's MUCH better than having to do it there! DH kind of had that option, but they said it had to be there within 30 mins and we live about 20-25 mins from the facility on a good, no-traffic day. And their hours were so weird that he would've had to take off work for it. He works like 5 mins from the facility, so it just made more sense logistically for him to do it there. But it was terrible! He called me from the room saying he couldn't do it...that it was the size of a storage closet, that there was nowhere to sit down, there wasn't any "material" to look at (I guess they expect you to just use your phone? Makes sense, just wasn't what we expected due to movies and tv shows! ) and worst of all, it was FREEZING in the room. He said "I don't know how they expect you to take your pants off when it's so cold in here!!!" I felt so sorry for him, and between my giggles I begged him to at least TRY. Thankfully, he was able to! I think your DH will have a MUCH better experience at home, with you! I told DH that if he has to do a second sample sometime, he should just take off work so he can do it at home and drop it off.

OMG. I literally just wiped tears from my face. No "materials"??? WHAT'S THE POINT! Buy that doctor a SUBSCRIPTION! It'd be like community service!

Afm: Good news is I'll be 9 weeks Friday!! Bad news: nausea has set in 100% now!! I wake up nauseous and it never goes away!! GO AWAY! You are not wanted here!! it's bittersweet though since I know that just means the baby is growing! Also, baby does NOT want me to eat bananas! I love bananas, and always have, but I went to eat one yesterday and it did not go well!!! baby does however love spicy food and I can not get enough of chili!!!! And buffalo wings! And pizza with hot sauce on it I'm gonna gain ten pounds before the first trimester is over

I wish there was a puke emoji. Why hasn't someone made one of those?? There IS this one: but it's much less satisfying. There's also these: I'll just have to use them in combination for you for the next few weeks!

I love spicy food! I put tobasco on pretty much everything. With my luck, spicy food will be what bananas have become for you and I'kll be stuck eating things I hate. Like raisins. I hate raisins. They exist so people can pretend the food they're in is healthy. And also, if you're going to make a raisin, you should just make WINE. What a waste of a grape!

AFM - I had my OBGYN appointment today and I feel so much better now. She suspects PCOS but when they did an ultrasound, my uterus and ovaries did not show any signs of PCOS. So, she ordered CD3 labs and will wait until that is done to confirm if it truly is PCOS (and to rule out anything else). Unfortunately, that's a couple weeks away so I have to wait. Once she confirms PCOS, she's ready to start me on Clomid for a couple cycles and explained all of that to me. She also explained about moving on to IUI and how all of that works. She also ordered a SA for DH which he is THRILLED about.

It was so nice to see a doctor who actually listened to me and didn't treat me like I didn't know what I was talking about.

YAY! Hearing good doctor stories makes me happy and renews my faith in the medical profession! I'm a lawyer, so I try to give doctors and car salesmen the benefit of the doubt as a professional courtesy, but HONESTLY, so many people struggle with their doctors to get decent care!! I'm so glad you are having a good experience!

I have devoted quite a bit of time over the past couple of days learning about progesterone, and as a consequence I've come across a lot about PCOS and infertility issues in general. Hormones, man! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. And no one ever talks about them! I read every article on this blog yesterday, in case you are interested:

https://www.larabriden.com/treatment-for-4-types-of-pcos-treat-the-cause/

It's kinda hippie... just to warn you. But Googling "proper dosage for vitex" tends to take you to some "crunchy" places. It's all been very eye-opening though, and I think really helpful. Fx for you and DH!!

Twinsie, congratulations on hitting 9 weeks. Sorry you're feeling so nauseous but glad the baby is at least letting you enjoy some guilty pleasures. Pizza, buffalo wings and chili sound soooo good right now. I've already gained close to 25lbs and I still have 15 weeks to go, but its not good to deprive the baby, right? (That's what I keep telling myself! )

15!! EXCITING!! What's the second trimester like?? I had a theory that I put on the previous thread that second trimester is about buying everything and trying not to hate your partner/in laws. Is that right?? Have you collected maternity clothes yet?? I've been Pinning things like a madwoman. On a secret Pinterest board, of course. It won't do to advertise that I'm crazy.

Not looking good on my end ladies. I've been cramping most of this evening, the spotting is increasing and changing color for the worse. The waiting has been hell and I just hope that when it lets loose, it does so quickly. I've been struggling between sadness and anger today.

2b, I saved you for last because you need seriousness and lots of hugs.
I know that we are all thinking of you today and hoping all good things for you and your baby. I get the sense that you are a pretty reserved person (you had that ninja BFP announcement!) but we are here for you. I am also struggling with not being really, really mad with my body, and I imagine that Turtle has too. And crystl. And Twinsie. And Joy. And Cutie. And Fleur. So, while I can't fully understand what you're going through right now, I can empathize, and I totally get your anger. All my digits are crossed for you today.

 

[crystlmcd]

Turtle - we just have to get the sample to the lab within an hour so he's lucky he can do it at home. He already had anxiety thinking he would have to do it in the doctor's office before I finished my appt.

Fleur - I did tell the dr about the mid-cycle spotting but I think she's just chalking it up to my weird cycles these last 3 months. However, I've started having some red bleeding today so I may have just had a 15 day cycle without Oing. I'm waiting until tomorrow to see if it continues and then I'm going to call and make sure she wants to consider this a new cycle and send me for my cd3 labs on saturday. I'm beginning to think my body hates me.

 

[cutieq]

2b4us, thinking of you. everything early in pregnancy is so scary. Will you go to or call a doc? I can't remember if you posted that already. I do know several ladies that spotted early on and everything was a-ok, but I know that doesn't lessen the worry any.

Good for you ladies getting the SA. I know so many men that wouldn't do it, but it's good for everyone to get checked out! If we have to go through so much to check and question ourselves, they should to.

AFM: I'm doing pretty good. I think I'm starting to feel flutters, but I'm not sure. It's so faint and random and still pretty early, but I can't think of what else it could be and I know gas when I feel it My anatomy scan is Tuesday and I can't wait to have that comfort. We'll announce via social media then. I'm not hiding it and I'm definitely showing, but I wanted to get that scan behind me before we tell the world. I scheduled another baby shower for July. Between work friends and family, I'll have 4. The reality of it all is exciting but very, very scary too!

 

[Twinsie]

2b- I'm so so sorry you've started cramping and bleeding.. I hope everything turns out ok! Keep us updated if you can

Cutie- that's exciting you feel flutters!! I can't wait for that!! We both have scans Tuesday! Can't wait for our updated pics!

Sorry if I'm not super responsive, nausea and tiredness makes me not able to do much! Picking up my kid that I nanny for, from preschool I thought I was gonna vomit driving this morning. Not a fun feeling lol. Love the emoticons Katie!

Fleur- 10 weeks is next week! Not that far off

 

[JoyofMyLife]

2b, I'm so sorry that the spotting has continued. I know everyone is different, but there is a girl on another thread I'm on who's had severe bleeding her entire pregnancy from a subchronic hematoma and her baby is doing just fine (I believe she's 24 weeks now). There are so many things that can cause a bleed and it doesn't always mean miscarriage. I'm praying that everything is ok for you and baby. Please keep us updated!

 

[JoyofMyLife]

I'm loving the stories about our guys SAs. I have a funny one I'd like to add to the mix. My DH was also told to do his SA at home and deliver it to the facility within one hour. We live about 30 mins away so he didn't want to chance not getting there in time and decided to drive to the hospital first and take care of business in the car. I was at work and didn't find out until later that he did this! I was horrified and slightly amused at the same time because what if someone would have saw him, or even worse, called the cops. I could just picture him sitting there holding his "specimen" and having to explain to the police what he was doing! (I know, I'm evil!) Luckily he was able to finish his business without being spotted and delivered the sample with plenty of time to spare.

Katie, the second try has been great! It started out a little rough with severe headaches and back pain, but luckily that all went away around 18 weeks. I just recently bought maternity clothes last week and they are sooo comfortable. There are still lots of worries in the second tri though. I still worry everyday that the baby isnt developing properly or that he might come early and not be far enough along to survive. 24 weeks is a huge milestone because that's when the baby is considered viable and has a chance of surviving outside the womb, but that still doesn't give me peace of mind. I still celebrate every week that passes because I know it's another week my baby had time to develop and increases the chance that I'll get to bring him home soon.

I know this sounds crazy, but I think the worrying begins when we start TTC and never really goes away after that. First we worry about why we're not getting pregnant when we're TTC, then when we finally do get pregnant, we worry if the baby will stick. Then we worry if the baby is developing ok and why we're not feeling baby move or kick as much as we thought he should. Then we worry about how this baby is going to get out of us and how painful delivery is going to be. Then, when we're finally parents, the worrying intensifies by 1,000 because now we have this new little life that we created and our whole world would collapse if anything ever happened to him/her. Geesh, with all this worrying, why would anyone ever choose to have kids!