30 yo and TTC #1

[ladders]

Mgreen sorry I have no ideas on how to tell parents I'm still thinking about how I would tell dh, not really allowed myself to think that far ahead because my head is full of all the negative stuff like it will never happen. I'm usually very optimistic but with ttc I'm definitely becoming a glass half empty kind of girl.

Grrr the thing's still blooming flashing. Bd'd weds, Thurs, Fri and last night so if doesn't stay still soon will feel like those have been wasted!

 

[MgreenM]

I'm glad you're starting to feel better!

My idea for how to tell my parents (my siblings are all much older than me so they've been grandparents for a long time...actually Im concerned they'll be great grandparents before I make them grandparents again...but I digress)...is to give them a cute baby-themed picture frame with a little note inside that says something like "your grandbaby's first picture coming soon"...

I've also seen ideas where people wrap a little gift box with a passifer in it with a little note "from the grandbaby" that says to keep it at their house for "whenever I come over"...that kind of thing. I personally like the picture frame idea better though...bonus: they already have one for the first picture you give them.

I like the picture frame idea! I just have to time things right as my parents live out of state and I will have to mail it. Wouldn't want one set of parents to find out days before the other...

Mgreen sorry I have no ideas on how to tell parents I'm still thinking about how I would tell dh, not really allowed myself to think that far ahead because my head is full of all the negative stuff like it will never happen. I'm usually very optimistic but with ttc I'm definitely becoming a glass half empty kind of girl.

Grrr the thing's still blooming flashing. Bd'd weds, Thurs, Fri and last night so if doesn't stay still soon will feel like those have been wasted!

Ladders - I understand. It's easy to fill up our minds with "what ifs" "not gonna happens". My mom had a lot of problems with miscarriages and fertility so I was convinced it would take a while...shows what I know! Maybe I should be a little more cautious, but I think it's these things that are helping me to be excited about the pregnancy when the timing is so yucky for me. So, I am letting myself have these things to get excited about .

On the upside, I slept really well last night and only got up to pee 2 times! I wasn't congested either! Starting to feel significantly better! I am sure the nice long walk I took with DH and the dog helped! It was sooo beautiful out! Hopefully it will be that way again today and we can go for another walk!

How's everyone's weekend going?

 

[DosPinkies]

Mgreen sorry I have no ideas on how to tell parents I'm still thinking about how I would tell dh, not really allowed myself to think that far ahead because my head is full of all the negative stuff like it will never happen. I'm usually very optimistic but with ttc I'm definitely becoming a glass half empty kind of girl.

Grrr the thing's still blooming flashing. Bd'd weds, Thurs, Fri and last night so if doesn't stay still soon will feel like those have been wasted!

Well shoot. I was hoping I'd wake up and read a post from you that your dumb smiley finally stopped having seizures. I'm sorry. Dumb hormones. Don't feel bad about not being optimistic about this...I've been the same way. My husband has to say, "Hey...put negative Angie back in her box." Haha. It's normal though. I won't tell you to think positively because I know that hearing it doesn't help. But I will tell you to remember you've got all the support want, even if it is across the ocean.

I'm glad you're starting to feel better!

My idea for how to tell my parents (my siblings are all much older than me so they've been grandparents for a long time...actually Im concerned they'll be great grandparents before I make them grandparents again...but I digress)...is to give them a cute baby-themed picture frame with a little note inside that says something like "your grandbaby's first picture coming soon"...

I've also seen ideas where people wrap a little gift box with a passifer in it with a little note "from the grandbaby" that says to keep it at their house for "whenever I come over"...that kind of thing. I personally like the picture frame idea better though...bonus: they already have one for the first picture you give them.

I like the picture frame idea! I just have to time things right as my parents live out of state and I will have to mail it. Wouldn't want one set of parents to find out days before the other...

Mgreen sorry I have no ideas on how to tell parents I'm still thinking about how I would tell dh, not really allowed myself to think that far ahead because my head is full of all the negative stuff like it will never happen. I'm usually very optimistic but with ttc I'm definitely becoming a glass half empty kind of girl.

Grrr the thing's still blooming flashing. Bd'd weds, Thurs, Fri and last night so if doesn't stay still soon will feel like those have been wasted!

Ladders - I understand. It's easy to fill up our minds with "what ifs" "not gonna happens". My mom had a lot of problems with miscarriages and fertility so I was convinced it would take a while...shows what I know! Maybe I should be a little more cautious, but I think it's these things that are helping me to be excited about the pregnancy when the timing is so yucky for me. So, I am letting myself have these things to get excited about .

On the upside, I slept really well last night and only got up to pee 2 times! I wasn't congested either! Starting to feel significantly better! I am sure the nice long walk I took with DH and the dog helped! It was sooo beautiful out! Hopefully it will be that way again today and we can go for another walk!

How's everyone's weekend going?

I'm so glad you're feeling better! And that your excitement level is gradually rising. I knew it would.

Our weekend is good so far. It's not often we have a Saturday AND Sunday together, so it's very nice. It's gross weather here though...cold and rain/freezing rain. We're supposed to get more freezing rain later and snow. I'm reaaaaally sending snow vibes to the sky, because I need school to be closed for one more BD chance just in case I don't O until Monday! Lol. It turns out DH has 7am-7pm off tomorrow but still has to work the 7pm-7am night shift, as he couldn't get it covered. If school is in, I have to work the gate at a basketball game, so by the time I get home, he'll be off to work. Oh well...as long as we can slip a BD in today, I'll be satisfied with our chances this cycle. Telling myself to let go right now...I need yoga.

 

[ladders]

Thanks dos the support from you guys is really helping and helping me to be more chilled in front of dh which is definitely helping my bding chances

Testing again later so fingers crossed he stays blooming still!

 

[lsd2721]

Ladders, at least you're getting the job done! I hope he stays still for you!!

Dospinkies, I'm so glad you get to spend some extra time with your husband! Enjoy the day!

MgreenM, It's so great you're starting to feel better! As far as telling parents, let me know what you decide to do! So many great ideas out there! I think the picture idea was wonderful or just say I have a happy for you and inside you can have a few baby toys/pacifier and such to stay at the grandparents house!

My weekend has been alright. I've decided that I am going apply for a arts and crafts fair here in town with my crochet projects. So hoping I get accepted! No big super bowl party plans unless my husband made some without telling me, which is highly possible knowing him! Have a great sunday ya'll!

 

[Miskas mommy]

Ladders, hope he stands still and stops flashing at you!
Got our new furnace in and working today.. Finally!! the old one bit the dust last thursday, thank god for the pellet stove!!
Supposed to O today or tomorrow if i calculated correctly.. BD'ed Thurs, Fri, and today. We shall see what happens.
where do you ladies buy the OPK's with the silly smiley face? Might try those next time if we dont have luck this time.

Mgreen glad you are feeling better!

 

[MgreenM]

lsd- that's great about the craft fair!

We aren't watching the superbowl either! We are going to go out for dinner and are trying to get some friends to go out with us! I just got back a little bit ago from walking the dog, we were out for about an hour! That is probably the longest I have walked her. But it is sooo nice out! Take advantage of it why you can!

BTW, you ladies are absolutely awesome! Just wanted you to know! I am sending you lots and lots of babydust this month!

 

[RForReal]

Hey Ladies! I missed a lot these past few days, just read through all the posts. I've been sick so I've been going to bed really early and then we had to go buy a new car so things have been really busy. But I'm glad to be back on here with you all!

I'm curious as to what everyone does to enhance ovulation and conception!

So far all I'm on are prenatal vitamins. I've been using the clearblue smiley face ovulation tests - but darn are they expensive!! And you can't buy refills! I've taken a chance on a website and ordered a bunch of ovulation tests and pregnancy tests for cheap, I've read fairly decent reviews on them. And what's more confusing is that the clearblue ovulation tests said to use first morning urine, yet in these threads I'm reading how people test in the afternoon.

I see all these advertisements for special teas, special vitamins, special lubes, etc. My cousin's husband has low sperm count due to testicular cancer and she has him on red ginseng pills to increase sperm. Has anyone heard of that? I've found pharmacies online to buy clomid but I don't want to take it to that extreme in case I do actually need it in the future.

Is anyone as lost as me on what to try? What's too much? What's fact and what's an old wive's tale? "DH" (I'm picking up the lingo!) thinks I'm absolutely crazy looking up all these methods...but he hasn't seen crazy yet. Part of me is tempted to drug his morning tea with the above methods (just kidding...maybe...). If you gals do have your DH's on regimens, how did you approach that? I did get him to switch from briefs to boxers - he actually suggested it.

Again, I just have to say I'm so happy I've found this group!! And best of luck to all of you getting ready to do the big BD!

There is a lot out there! I feel the same way, afraid to try too much or not enough. My hubby is on fertilaid and CountBoost and I'm on prenatals. I used OPKs for the first few months but since I've learned my cycle I don't use them anymore, I just temp every morning. But when I did use them, I used the cheapies and when it looked like it was close, I backed it up with the smiley ones. That way, one pack lasted me much longer than one month so it stretched the cost over a few months. My DH has gotten used to it all but he's on board for pretty much anything that could lead to a baby so it's not hard to convince him to take the pills and do whatever we need to do.

Hi all! I'm new to all this so I don't know all the acronyms yet. I'm 29, married for 8 years and have been TTC since Oct. I wanted to start when I was 23, but life happened and we had to wait. I've been wanting this for so long, that I get impatient at times, but excited!

Welcome! I'm 29 also but have been married for 2 years. Glad to have you join us!

I just got my positive opk so we will have the whole weekend and I don't go to nights until Wednesday yay!

I have had such bad luck this month hopefully it will turn around with ttc

Yay! Good luck to you!

Ha ha because once I get flashy I test twice a day I get quite annoyed with the flashing little git lol been the seventh time iv seen him this cycle so really ready for him to stand blooming still!
And yes only us ttc girlie's get the random things we get happy about!

Saw an old friend yesterday who's 13 weeks pregnant and had to force a fake smile when she told me that had gotten pregnant on the pill and because of her bf being away had only dtd twice that month! How the hell does that work! Also had to bite my tongue when she said she was disappointed because didn't get to try because would have been fun!

Ooh I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut on that one. People without fertility issues just have no idea.

Northerngal, I have only been trying to conceive a few months so I don't really do anything besides the OPKs ( I use the same one as you! but I also use the cheapies during the first few days and once I start seeing a line I switch to the smiley face ones since they are so expensive) and taking prenatal vitamins. My husband also thinks I'm pretty crazy for obsessing over it all and reading up on things. I just told him we all have our things to obsess about and stopped talking to him as much about it, which is why I started this thread! Even my mom and sister who know I'm ttc kept telling me to calm down and all. So, I couldn't even obsess with them!

Emb84, so glad you could join us! Welcome! I for sure thought I would be trying for kids around 25 but life never happens as we plan does it! Although it sure would make life easier if it did! ha!

Meljen, sorry to hear you are not feeling as well! Good thing you're laying low! Get lots of rest!

Dos and ladders, so glad that you get to do all the BDing you want! That it is all in place!! Good luck to you this cycle. Hoping baby dust is coming yalls way!

So fertility friend says I ovulated on Wednesday. I did the bd on Friday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday pus once more last night, just in case! Hopefully that was enough! I'm not feeling as positive this round or as excited as the previous two cycles. Trying to stay busy so I don't symptom check like a crazy person like I did last time! I am just going to watch my chart and if my period hasn't come by 15dpo I will take a test!

Crossing my fingers and toes! Bring some baby dust my way pleeeeease!

Question, I thought once you got a positive on the OPK that you should stop testing. Is there a reason to keep testing?

Sounds like you are well covered!! Lots of baby dust to you!! Good luck!

I stop testing when I get a positive on the lh surge (solid smiley) the opks I use are dual hormone ones which also pick up oestrogen rise (flashing smiley) which happens in the days running up to the start of the surge. True positive (peak fertility)is picking up the lh bit so test twice a day until I get that but they say oestrogen rise is high fertility so try to bd as much as possible still.

Ha ha after bd last night dh remarked how much better it is when I'm relaxed and not thinking about babies or planning it and it just happens. I'm clearly better at hiding things from him now because obsessed stressed as ever! Do think it helps to have you ladies to talk to so thank you also! Xxx

Ha! Good for you for hiding it from him. It's nice to have an outlet here.

Oh yeah...mine acted like the softcup was just the craziest thing on Earth and gave me grief about it. He got over it though, and he knows I'm using them. I was actually really proud of him this morning. After BD, I always try to get on my back ASAP of course, and he usually kinda scoffs and makes fun of me. This time he was giving me directions to how I could flip over the easiest with minimum swimmer loss, and then he even put his feet his feet under my butt to prop me up while he was grabbing my softcup for me. That was quite the change for him. It made me kinda warm and fuzzy.

That's so nice! I'm so glad to see that he's coming around.

 

[ladders]

Yeah finally got my solid face this morning. Now how to get dh to bd the next 2-3 nights that would be 8 days in a row slightly worried I'm going to break him lol

 

[MgreenM]

Yeah finally got my solid face this morning. Now how to get dh to bd the next 2-3 nights that would be 8 days in a row slightly worried I'm going to break him lol

woohoo!

 

[RForReal]

Yeah finally got my solid face this morning. Now how to get dh to bd the next 2-3 nights that would be 8 days in a row slightly worried I'm going to break him lol

Haha Yay! Get to it!

 

[DosPinkies]

Yay ladders! I'm so glad it finally cooperated.

 

[DosPinkies]

I'm feeling very down and negative about TTC today. I'm pretty sure I ovulated yesterday and I was feeling good about things. But then I had an awful night last night complete with a panic attack. A lot of things caught up to me at once and I just lost it. The stress of all of this is unreal and I don't know what to do with it. And now of course I feel like my panic attack (which was a pretty fierce one, worse than I've ever had actually) probably ruined my chances of conceiving this cycle, since everybody says stress inhibits getting pregnant. Think my chances are ruined? Ah. Man...I really think I may take a break TTC after this cycle. Maybe I'm just not strong enough for this.

 

[lsd2721]

I'm feeling very down and negative about TTC today. I'm pretty sure I ovulated yesterday and I was feeling good about things. But then I had an awful night last night complete with a panic attack. A lot of things caught up to me at once and I just lost it. The stress of all of this is unreal and I don't know what to do with it. And now of course I feel like my panic attack (which was a pretty fierce one, worse than I've ever had actually) probably ruined my chances of conceiving this cycle, since everybody says stress inhibits getting pregnant. Think my chances are ruined? Ah. Man...I really think I may take a break TTC after this cycle. Maybe I'm just not strong enough for this.

I'm sorry about your panic attack! Don't let it get you down though! You did more this month than the previous months and I'm sure everything will be fine! I would say relax but that would probably stress you out even more!

I'm so sorry! I'll give you a hug though! Hopefully that will help!

 

[RForReal]

I'm feeling very down and negative about TTC today. I'm pretty sure I ovulated yesterday and I was feeling good about things. But then I had an awful night last night complete with a panic attack. A lot of things caught up to me at once and I just lost it. The stress of all of this is unreal and I don't know what to do with it. And now of course I feel like my panic attack (which was a pretty fierce one, worse than I've ever had actually) probably ruined my chances of conceiving this cycle, since everybody says stress inhibits getting pregnant. Think my chances are ruined? Ah. Man...I really think I may take a break TTC after this cycle. Maybe I'm just not strong enough for this.

I'm so sorry! I definitely don't think your chances are ruined. I know this TTC stuff is really hard, I'm right there with you. Try to focus on the positives in your life right now and take your mind off of TTC for a bit. I know that is easier said than done. But it will happen for you, I truly believe that. I know it's hard to believe that when you are in such a low place. It's okay to get discouraged, we all do! But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I try to focus on the fact that my relationship with my hubby is awesome and I love our life together. Having a baby will change things, some good and some not, so if things have to stay as they are for now then that's okay and I will survive it and enjoy the little things that I won't get to enjoy once I do get pregnant. For now I'll enjoy my wine, my sleeping in on the weekends, my ability to get up 30 minutes before I have to leave for somewhere, and our spontaneous trips out of town.

If you feel you need to take a break from TTC, then you should do it. Listen to your body and take care of your mental and emotional health just as you take care of your physical health for TTC. It's all equally important. Lots of hugs hun!

 

[MgreenM]

I'm feeling very down and negative about TTC today. I'm pretty sure I ovulated yesterday and I was feeling good about things. But then I had an awful night last night complete with a panic attack. A lot of things caught up to me at once and I just lost it. The stress of all of this is unreal and I don't know what to do with it. And now of course I feel like my panic attack (which was a pretty fierce one, worse than I've ever had actually) probably ruined my chances of conceiving this cycle, since everybody says stress inhibits getting pregnant. Think my chances are ruined? Ah. Man...I really think I may take a break TTC after this cycle. Maybe I'm just not strong enough for this.

You are strong enough for this! We all lose it from time to time...you and I must be on the same page as I had a bit of an anxiety attack this afternoon...

If any of you ladies live in the US, I am going to tell you something that I learned today that has sent me into a bit of a panic so that way you won't (hopefully) have the experience I am having! In the US maternity leave is not paid. You get income using short term disability insurance. If you delivery a baby within the first 9 months of the policy, your maternity leave WILL NOT be covered, the pregnancy will be considered a pre-existing condition! I signed up for this insurance during open enrollment back in November, but it was not effective until Jan. 1. My EDD based on my LMP is Sept. 28th...I can take maternity from this plan as of Oct. 2nd. This information was not given to me when I signed up. So I have effectively wasted $200 on a plan I won't be able to use...I am considering keeping it just in case something happens and I have to be on bed rest as the short term disability insurance from the new employer won't be effective until 6 months of employment there. But, $100/month is a lot of money to pay when I won't be able to use the policy when I will need it most...

I don't know if any of you have advice on what to do, but I hope that this will help others so that you don't end up in a similar boat. Luckily, I have been getting an extra $400/month by teaching religious school and DH and I both have decent salaries (although I will be taking a little bit of a pay cut) and we have a fair amount in savings. I can also work weekends and pick up some PRN work on the weekends to make extra money. So, we can make this work. It just adds to all of my stress. I know that once I actually get started at the new job, I think things will be better. I will feel better, I won't be fatigued in the same way, I won't be stressed in the same way, and I will be able to better cope with all of my emotions.

Sorry for my long rant, it was just one of those days...

 

[PDReggie]

Hey everyone, I missed quite a bit this weekend. Good to see new faces. Feel better to those physically and mentally tired. I just signed up for short term disability in Nov. too. They told me about the wait. But check the sick and vacation policy at the New place. In our office, you have to take all your vacation and sick time before it goes unpaid.

Not feeling great about this month. FF said I o'd the one day I was hoping I wouldn't. It was while DH was sick so we hadn't bd in a few days. Very frustrated right now.

But went out to NM for a long weekend with the family so I'm happy about that. Next month is a new chance! Now I just need the luggage with my thermometer to also make it to Cleveland some time tonight and I will be happy. I would also like the underwear in that bag.

 

[MgreenM]

Yeah, I will have to ask a lot of questions at the new place. I think I have decided to tell them after the scan on the 18th. I think it is better to start the new job being open and honest rather than carrying a secret. I think it will help build the trust and working relationship.

Reggie - I am glad you had that information already! I didn't even think to ask these questions. Oh, well, lesson learned! Glad you had a good trip! And I agree, clean underwear would be good...

 

[DosPinkies]

First, thank you girls for the encouraging words. RF, I actually started crying when I read yours. This is harder than I ever imagined, and I feel so alone in it, as I have no one here who I can talk to and DH really doesn't get it and says unhelpful things like "just don't think about it." My only sanity saver is getting to talk to you girls. I really do love my life with him, and I need to learn to enjoy the (hopefully) last bit of it as just the 2 of us. I think I'm just not keeping myself busy enough. I used to read constantly but my headaches make that painful now...I need something else to do. I'm thinking of taking a sewing class. Maybe that'd be fun...plus I can't even sew on a button so it would at least make me more useful. (;

Reggie - I'm sorry the timing sucked for you this cycle. I know that frustration. But you're right...new chance next month! CD1 will be exciting this time instead of crappy...lol.

Green - I'm in the same boat as you. I'm an idiot and didn't get short-term disability when I had the chance...I knew better and still didn't do it. So I definitely won't be taking more than 6 weeks off. The plan is that DH will work a ton of over-time once we get a BFP, and I can work over my summer break at his mom's shop. Plus I'll take all of my sick and personal days. It sucks, but I guess those are the breaks.

 

[ladders]

Dos really sorry to hear your having a bad time and I hope your feeling a little better. Really sorry to hear about your panic attack can't imagine how rough that would be but if your not lucky this month, and I really really hope you are, it is no way your fault. I'm sure stress does contribute but that day will not be the reason so don't put that on yourself because will just make the stress worse. My dh is the same and thinks that I'm totally over the top and should just relax and it will happen, if only eh! It will happen for you i know it will we just have to stay strong and keep in the game.

Am the same though I would do anything to be able to just not think about it because some days I feel im going insane. Just wishing my life away at the minute cd 1 u want to fast forward to o day. Once that's done whether good or not I'm counting down the days till I can test, get the bfn and it all starts again. Been my life for the past 7 months!