33yr ttc#2 - buddies needed!!!

No, I likely won't test early. I don't know that I could handle disappointment of more bfn's than necessary.

With DS I didn't test until I was a week late because I had pretty much given up hope by that point. I had IB- enough that I thought I would just be getting my period soon, but it never came! I was in a new teaching position and it was the end of the year so I was so busy. It was a week past when I should have started before I realized I was late!

I'm hoping if I have a more casual attitude about this one, maybe it won't take me 10 months of ttc.
 
Whoa! You have some patience! I can probably hold out till about 11-12 dpo if I tried but being a sahm right now all I have is time to obsess and think about that possible bfp with the tests in the cabinet in the bathroom calling my name Hahaha! Lol

I admire your patience though and completely understand the disappointment of the bfn's especially when you know for sure you're out and af will show the next day.

How many dpo are you today? I'm sorry if you've said already. Do you have a long lp?

I'm on cd11 and waiting to O. I still have a good week to go, probably.
 
Cupcake it could be acupuncture that has made you o earlier. I did acupuncture when ttc #1 as felt it was taking so long and if gotten myself so stressed! I had acupuncture on the Thurs with clearblue saying low fertility and woke up Friday morning and went straight to peak! missing high completely and about 3-4 days sooner than normal!. That's the month i first conceived, unfortunately ended in mc but I conceived. So it's definitely possible it could have altered your cycle slightly. I'm very jealous I loved acupuncture it made me so relaxed and nice to have an hour to dedicate to myself. I never get that anymore.*


Kim I'm sending o vibes your way! And glad your dh got in touch. I hate fighting with my dh but we also have to take time away from it because neither of us will apologise lol. Sorry I have no idea what causes the slight blood that you saw. I had some brown cm last week and couldn't work out what had caused it. Probably because would never notice that kind of thing if not ttc!


Citrus did you get your temp rise today? It looks to me like the most recent one is lighter so I think the middle two was your proper surge.*


So don't know what came over dh but we bd last night too which is great because now o feel we have a proper shot, although that always makes it worse when af comes because I have nothing to blame or change! So officially 1 dpo and in the tww!

Duster I wish I could be as strong willed as you as i also get depressed seeing bfn after bfn!
 
Urgh I'm so jealous ladders, no temp rise here and no BD last night either. I really thought the surge was over so now I don't know what's happening. Today is my usual o day so maybe it will be today but I'm starting to lose faith in the opks. I have one more left so I will use it later and I've already told DH that we NEED to dtd tonight. Girl timing is out the window as I don't want to be stressed if no temp rise tomorrow so got to get one last try in. Will update later, got to go get ready for work so no time to reply to everyone sorry.
 
I cant really comment on the temp rises as i dont understand it all haha but hope you can bd tonight citrus.

We did bd last night but blank opk this morning. Not that i was expecting it at cd9. Expecting it more towards the end of the week or weekend maybe cd14/15.

Good luck duster. I tested early with my DD but not as early as i tested last month. Maybe a day or two early. Do you feel you have a good shot this month?

Anni how are you?

Kim we are probably quite insync i havent ovd yet either.

Ladders glad dh came around and you managed to bd last night. Is that you now officially in the tww!!!
 
Jessy, I'm happy to know that I'm not the last one but sad that you haven't O'd yet either.

To me the wait to O this time is probably going to be more stressful than the tww 😑

Ladders, you're right. It's probably because I'm more in tune with my body. I probably wouldn't have noticed had I not been checking cm and cp.

I'm actually very excited to be able to see all your tests and root you ladies on to your bfp's! Hopefully we all get our bfp's this cycle and get to all be in first tri together! ❤❤
 
Hi all, been a bit busy over the last few days so not been able to get on to say hi. Hope you're all well!

CD21 here. No idea if/when I ovulated. Have had zero ewcm so can't go on that. So looks like grapefruit juice wasn't particularly helpful.

I feel as though maybe I've not ovulated? Who knows! The joys of coming off birth control. I wish I'd never gone back on it after having my son, as not knowing what's going on with my body is frustrating!

I found out yesterday that one of my friends who has a little boy already is expecting a girl for number 2! And I feel really envious. And also feel as though it's just not going to happen for us, which is ridiculous as this is month 2 and I'm coming off the pill so we all know that can take a while to get out of your system, but all the same I feel really down about it all today. Anyone else get like that?

Hope you're all good anyhow
 
Daisies I totally feel you, it took alot of time and worry and stress to conceive before and I feel like it'll be the same again. Seems to happen so easy for everyone else. Three of my nct friends are pregnant again and the longest one took 2 months!!!! I'm on cycle 3 already.

Citrus I hope you get to dtd tonight I find this the most stressful bit of ttc
 
Hmmm... Kim, I don't know much about macca and coQ10 (I know the latter is used to help healthy cell growth, I think?). The epo if using capsules (you know the see-through kind) can be used vaginally but I have only read about them being used in this way late during the third trimester to help ripen the cervix, and this can cause some spotting.
Did your most recent smear come back ok? Do you tend to have ok results with this? I only ask because although it's highly likely there's a perfectly innocent explanation for the spotting, over here they say if you see anything unusual for you in terms of spotting between periods, ask for another screening to be on the safe side.
There are sooo many causes for it though. So many which have absolutely zero to do with anything sinister! So I wouldn't worry, but if it is concerning you in the slightest get it checked out :)
I do hope we all get our bfps and are in the tris together, this would be fab!

Duster - you are a stronger woman than I am, I can't help myself testing early! But I find it easier in some ways as there's less room to get my hopes up if I keep getting the same fake faint lines or the tests are completely blank.

Ladders - yay on the TWW! :)
Acupuncture is amazing, isn't it? I love it. I remember the first time I had it (my doctor is an acupuncturist as well and gave me a few sessions in her own time which was lovely of her!) I was sceptical, I originally had it for anxiety as my doctor was concerned about my use of diazepam. I had been using it for years when you are only meant to use it for weeks. Didn't think it would help much but that was the first day in years I didn't have to use any medication. It was so relaxing! After this I paid for some private sessions as I didn't want to take advantage of my doctor, and it helped me so much I can't even begin to explain. This and the fact I'm pretty sure my hormones are wonky are the reasons I have restarted it.
It's good to read your experience with it and that it could have made me ov a little earlier. My body seems to respond quickly and well to it so it wouldn't surprise me if it was responsible!

Citrus I wouldn't worry about gender swaying too much because it's all theory and little actual evidence to prove any of it does sway. It sounds as though you are ok with this, but I hope you do conceive a little girly anyway!

Jessy - temping looks/sounds more complicated than it is. When I first saw someone's chart a few years ago I couldn't make any of it out and didn't have a clue what they were talking about! I pretty much ignored any of it, I didn't even track my cycles that closely, only knew when af was due and this was the extent of my knowledge on the subject. But after having to look into my cycles more in depth it pushed me to start temping/charting and it's surprisingly easy to learn. In a nutshell, if looking at ovulation, you are looking out for an upwards shift in temperature which sustains itself. When you use an app or a physical chart, you will see that your temperatures stay on the lower side of average from your period up until ovulation. They can fluctuate, but they generally stay lower. When you ovulate (usually within a couple of days of a positive OPK but this can alter with age too, so as we get older we may see we ovulate closer to the day of the positive OPK, or on the day), you will see an obvious jump upwards in your temperature which stays up at the higher end of average. This too can and does fluctuate for most women, but in general throughout your luteal phase, the part after ovulation until your period, it stays mostly up. If you conceive, it will continue to stay up. The reason your temperature does this is because the corpus luteum, leftover from ovulation, secretes progesterone into your system in preparation for pregnancy, to support it. If you don't conceive, your temperature will dip close to, or on the day of your period usually.

Daisies I'm sorry you are feeling down :( I understand though, I felt like this after having a miscarriage. It was like everyone was pregnant or carrying around a newborn and I felt so sad and envious and then cross at myself because it wasn't their fault! But it's a mix of emotions and a real rollercoaster. I think having recently come off bc doesn't help because this can mess with your hormones and make you more emotional too, as well as mess your cycle around. I hope things start to settle down for you soon though. I'm sure it will, and there's every chance it won't take long to conceive. Bc doesn't always spell a long time trying, sometimes it can happen quite quickly after so don't lose hope! You WILL be ok and things absolutely will settle down for you.

CD12 here I think? I have cystitis woohoo. I had it weeks ago too, sex and dehydration are triggers and yesterday I had sex and didn't remember to drink much because I was stressed out about something and it was also our youngest son's fifth birthday so I had many distractions! Paying for it though. Peeing literally at least every twenty minutes because so far I have had half a latte (I know it's caffeine but my logic is have a little caffeine for the diuretic effect to quickly draw water to my bladder to flush it out), about 1.5L of water and a Cystopurin. It's slowly starting to feel a little less like I'm peeing acid. Am sat here feeling cross with myself, with a hot water bottle in my lap. I won't be dtd today... but hoping it won't matter anyway. We can dtd for fun after this has definitely buggered off
 
Hi ladies, not fallen off the face of the earth, just been working.

I've had a read through but I don't think my brain can cope with replying to everything.

I'm CD 13 today. I feel as though I might O in the next day or two. Had bucket loads of EWCM when I went to the loo on my break this morning and my cervix is high and softish. I'm not sure if my temps are really low because I mouth breathe but they seem really low. Maybe I'll still see a pattern though. Hope you're all ok. I have 3 days off now so can keep up with things a bit better.
 
Cupcake I'm sorry you have cystitis but I like your caffeine logic!! I'm beat, god knows how I'll find the energy to dtd later. I'm stealing 5 mins to sit down and reply at work before going home and looking after the toddler.

Anyone else find that really simple conversations with DH can end in a spat? Sometimes we are really mean to each other and it makes me sad.

Ladders, I totally get how you feel. It didn't even take us long ttc number 1 but I'm already anticipating having to go through AF and the wait to o again.
 
Citrus, we have spells of that, normally when we're both stressed because he's the easiest person to vent my frustrations on.

We didn't take that long to conceive either time but that's kind of making me a bit neurotic because we're on month 3 or 4 of trying depending on how you look at it and if it doesn't happen this month it will be the longest we've ever taken and that will make me start to worry that it's not going to happen. TTC is rubbish, we should just be allowed to decide when we want to be pregnant and it should happen. It would be a lot better for our mental health!
 
Anni, you could try temping vaginally if you sleep with your mouth open.

Citrus, I'm tired too, purely from traipsing the amount of times I have up and down the stairs to pee.
Sometimes we are like this but it's usually me snapping over silly things because I'm anxious so usually my fault
 
Will do next month I think. If I start now it will mess me up for this month.
 
What do you find are your anxiety triggers cupcake? I am defo loads more anxious when I am tired and had a very wobbly time when sleep deprived with baby 1. It's amazing how much better I felt with a bit of sleep. Stress is also a trigger. I totally know what you mean about being the cause of arguments. Most of mine stem from the fact that I want to control everything and he feels I don't trust him with our son. Not true, but routine and being aware of how things are going to go really helps my mental health. He has no understanding of that at all, which is a shame.

I'm just waiting to need a pee to take my last opk. Bloody hope it's negative but we are def going to dtd tonight unless we have a serious falling out or any other disaster!
 
Still drying but thankfully negative! So help me to interpret people..

OPKs L-R CD16, CD17, CD18 Am, CD18 pm, CD19

Then also uploaded my chart. I might have had EWCM the day after the BDs but I think it is so hard to tell, but CD18 was defo not EW and I've had none since.

As you know, no temp rise yet. So what do we think! When's o day?!:shrug:
 

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Citrus - literally everything lol! I shouldn't laugh, it isn't actually funny but I have to or I would go nuts. Lack of sleep (which is a constant issue and has been for years!) is definitely a trigger. If I don't have more than two hours it hits me hard the following day. When we had our son together I barely slept. I became delusional and started hallucinating. It was terrifying at the time. My mind fell apart so I started to express milk so my husband could take over feeds, meaning I could at least try to get some sleep.
Face to face interaction with people for too long triggers panic, I'm socially awkward (part of having Asperger's) so I don't do social situations fabulously. I also suffer with agoraphobia which I think stems from PTSD, I have better periods and some which I turn into a hermit so leaving the house during these times triggers it.
Germs trigger anxiety hugely for me, even the mere mention of illness does. This became worse after both our youngest children were hospitalised when our daughter was a couple of weeks old and our son almost a year and a half old.
Food triggers it because I have been fighting an eating disorder for a number of years (hence why I think my hormones are out of sync, because recovery, especially self recovery, takes such a long time), but I have been better where eating more is concerned.
People who are drunk or high, they are unpredictable.
Things being out of routine, I have to have things as stable as possible and can't do spontaneity.
People dying.
Travelling more than a few miles.
Any level of stress.

There are so many things I could list. Many of them are things accumulated over the years because life has been unbelievably complicated! As life is, I guess. It isn't easy, and people cope with situations differently. How to you cope with it?

Regarding your chart - if your temp continues to go upwards then I would guess ovulation to be yesterday, possibly today
 
Hmm, how do I deal with it? Mostly, I'm ok. Mostly. It's all very low level and I read something which said that awareness that you are getting anxious is helpful. I have found that useful. I sort of repeat a little mantra in my mind that it is just anxiety and anxiety can't hurt me, so I don't spiral. Death and illness is a big thing for me too. I had a headache yesterday and immediately thought of a brain tumour. This kind of thought process is very common for me. BUT I am aware that it is irrational and this helps me greatly. I feel that in many ways, as I learn more about my body, I am becoming better with age. Then again I am fearful of aging and being more susceptible to certain illnesses! I'm nervous about giving birth (didn't have the best of times with baby 1) and am going to try hypnobirthing this time around. If it helps me, I'll try to keep up something similar afterwards too. Generally, I have a hold on it but I am nervous about having a second baby and going through the sleep deprivation again, it makes me super irrational.

It sounds like you have a tough time. Do you have any strategies? It seems you are doing a great job at being a mummy though and that's all that matters!

Kim are you taking the opks yet? Glad we've got a couple of people officially in the tww! Ladders sounds like you've done super well with your timing!!
 
I actually tested this afternoon. No where near positive :haha: I still have several days to go :sleep:
 

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Citrus - awareness is always a good thing. How long have you suffered with anxiety for? Ageing is another I could say too, I find it frightening! The reminders scare me, like the grey hairs creeping in, the fact my knees seem to be so stiff when they didn't used to be (although I try to remember to counter this I can still get my legs around my head lol), any new wrinkles... I always tell people I'm 29 and staying there.
Sounds like you cope well though which is good :) I think the hypnobirthing is a good idea, I have heard good things about this. I understand the worry of having another as my first wasn't an easy birth. It wasn't by any means as long or difficult as some people's labours but I found it less than a positive experience for a few reasons. But my second was much easier. There's a decade age gap between them, so this was scary too since I assumed it would be like having a first baby but it wasn't. It was a fraction of the time and he took only minutes to push out whereas my first took an hour to push. I think after you have your first your body knows what it's doing, it remembers and is essier. The thing that helped me cope better was knowing about transition, because this is the part of labour that seems to make most women panic, and feel as if they are losing control, so after reading about this and knowing this was why and it wasn't anything more than getting closer to birth, I felt I had more control. I think for most women their subsequent children are much easier with labour and birth.
Anxiety has been an issue for me since childhood. I currently use medication to help take the edge off but have restarted acupuncture to try to get back some control without having to rely on medication since it was so helpful before. I use breathing techniques as well and do things like pace the room because I'm trying to get rid of any excess energy/adrenaline.

Kim, your OPK looks like mine do right before they turn positive, so hopefully it won't be long :)
 

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