35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[WhiteOrchid24]

A belated Merry Christmas girls!! I hope you all had a wonderful day.

Carly I tend to agree, if it was me I'd be tempted to think CD16 was the day I ovulated and the earlier one was just an odd temp spike.... Any updates?

Here's hoping 2016 is an awesome year for everyone! Tommy you might be a little hesitant (understandably) but I am SUPER positive for you!! Bring on those injections and lots of healthy eggs xxx

 

[CarlyP]

Merry Christmas

Thank you for your replies, I stopped doing my temps during Xmas as we stayed at my mums and didn't take my thermometer, did a test last night and BFN, but if it were CD16 then we only dtd CD17 so will of missed it.

Gynecologist basically said I won't get any help until my bmi is 35. It's 39.1 at the minute so 3.7 stone to go!

 

[tommyg]

How is everyone doing?

Was Santa good to everyone? I'm ok just done first injection of this cycle. I wish I wasn't so nervous about doing them.
You'd think after 4 IUI (including an abandoned round) I'd be used to it.

 

[tommyg]

Hello Ladies, we are slowly edging towards January 2016, and 4 long years of me ttc baby 2. I'm so glad I found this thread when I was 18 mths in to it. Never did I think I would still be here 2.5 years later. It would have been a very lonely road with out you ladies. I never thought it would take this long or come to me trying IVF.

I know 2015 has had ups and downs. Please let 2016 bring many ups.

Cookie when are you due?
Wish is all ok with you?

 

[Braven05]

Happy new year everyone. Let's hope 2016 brings some much deserved bfp's for the ladies in this group! I'm resolving to try and be more positive and not lose all hope. 2016 will also be my 4th year TTC and I also never thought I'd be here. Fingers crossed for lots of baby dust in the new year.

 

[eyemom]

Hi ladies. I haven't popped in in a long time. Still think of you all often, lurking when I can, and cheering you all on. Newer ladies I haven't properly "met," cheering you on, too! Praying for blessings all around for all of you in 2016, especially in the form of BFPs and snuggly babies.

 

[Srbjbex]

Hi all. Today I had a conversation with a social worker about adopting.... over the Christmas period I think we came to have conclusion we can't face any more surgery and there is too much uncertainty there. Adoption seems to be the way forward for us... nothing 100% yet but that'sthe avenue we are exploring at the moment

 

[tommyg]

Good luck with it. Bex. My Bil started the journey 2 years ago. Tbh their long journey has totally put me off but I think think its might be a combination of factors that has made their journey so long iykwim.

Afm need to buy new work trousers going shopping when I've finished work. The ones I have on were tight, I've put up with them dreaming about loosing weight. Now I'm a bit bloated they are really painfully tight.

 

[victorial8]

Hi everyone! It was suggested in another thread I come and see all you guys in here. I hope you don't mind!

A bit about me and my TTC journey this time round....we have been trying since just after my DD was born feb 2012 so we are just approaching 4 years of trying. We tried for 18 months with her and when I had a scan at 11 weeks they found I had a bicornuate uterus which could have caused the issues with concieving and could lead to miscarriage and early loss. Once we had our beautiful healthy DD, we just said we would start trying straight away as we knew it would take some time....didn't think I would still be trying now though to be honest.

I finally decided it was time to go to the GP about it mid 2015 and they referred us to the fertility clinic. got our first appointment in and all went well, I am ovulating and DH sperm is great. Got sent for an HSG a few weeks later and it was a total disaster. I lay there for 45 mins, legs spread and they couldn't get the catheter into my uterus...I left feeling a bit achey, emotional and walking like I'd pooped myself! I now have an MRI booked for next week to see the exact shape of my uterus to see what we are dealing with as the consultant seems to think that IVF is our only option now. I'm a bit nervous about the MRI as I can be a bit chlostraphobic and can't stay still too long haha.

I also have to lose some weight. I was my lowest healthy weight in 2013 but over 2 years I have gradually let it creep on and on because I comfort eat...due to stress at work at times and about not being pregnant! It's a vicious cycle but I'm determined to get myself out of it.

Sorry for the long story haha, if you've lasted this long then we'll done. I will try to read back a little bit and look forward to getting to know you all xx

 

[tommyg]

Hi Victoria You are more than welcome here. We are a bunch with different reasons why we are all here but the support is great.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Happy New Year Ladies!!

Welcome Victoria! As Tommy said everyone here has different reasons/issues they are dealing with but we are all after the same goal and it is a great place for support and understanding.

How is everyone doing? Tommy I am so excited for you and really hoping this is it. Your comment about the trousers made me laugh - I was the same, got quite bloated with the meds etc but I did acupuncture throughout it and I swear it was a major help as I had less side effects with the IVF than I did with the 2 IUI's and the meds were about 5 times as much!

Bex - that is so wonderful that you have reached a decision. I know how hard it must be to do so to at least be on the same page and open to finding out more etc is wonderful! Not to mention super exciting!! I so hope your wait isn't as long as Tommy's BIL. Yay!!

A big hello to everyone else. I hope you all had a great Christmas and are filled with renewed optimism for a new year!! We were super busy so to be honest I am now exhausted but hey-ho, at least now that DS is back at school I can relax a little. Next week sees the start of my 3rd trimester - woohoo! So happy. After a lot of thinking and humming and ho-ing we have opted for a scheduled c-section (due to the complications I had with DS and having an emergency section) so I am now just waiting to get my date! Still on meds to avoid being sick but im ok with it and just extremely grateful that they work!

Anyway better run for now but hugs to you all. Bring on the 2016 babies!!

 

[tommyg]

My goodness Orchard, 3rd tri, it seems no time since you started the IVF and got that BFP. I can't blame you for opting for a planned c-section esp after a tough sickly pregnancy and a previous emergency c-section.

 

[Srbjbex]

I agree with tommy it only seems like a couple of weeks ago you were doing your IVF!! Planned section sounds sensible to me!

Tommy - I am also super hopeful for you...it is definitely your turn next!

Victoria - Hi and welcome to the thread. You will find loads of support here, it has been a lifeline for me. Sorry to hear of your struggle, none of us that are here expected to be here at all, and secondary infertility brings with it a whole range of conflicting emotions but you are definitely not alone! To give you a very short version of my story, I am unable to conceive a second child due to damage caused by caesarean with my son. The damage is so severe that IVF is also impossible at this stage. I’ve had 2 ops so far, and have recently made a decision not to have any more operations to try and correct and we have started looking into adoption.

Carly – any news with you?

 

[Braven05]

Bex, how are you feeling about that choice? I sometimes wonder if I should give up and go that route but every time I give it more than just a little thought I panic. I did not enjoy pregnancy but I loved knowing that I was carrying and nurturing my child inside my body and I loved feeling her kick and I felt so bonded to her when she came out. Then I breastfed for 2 years. I worry that I won't be able to bond with an adopted child or to love them enough, although I certainly know it's possible. I worry about feeling cheated and still feeling incomplete because it's not just my heart and my brain that long for another child, but my body itself. I'm too scared to even think about it.

 

[tommyg]

Hello Braven how is your weight loss journey going, it must be so hard. I really admire anybody who manages to loose weight. Is weight something they would take into account on the adoption road? I know it is certainly something that gets taken into account during the approval process here.

AFM They managed to retrieve 19 eggs from me today, will see tomorrow how many fertilise.

 

[Srbjbex]

Tommy - 19 eggs that's amazing well done. When will you hear about fertilisation? How are you feeling after the ER?

Braven - to be honest, I'm genuinely excited about pursuing the adoption thing. And I'm surprised how excited OH is too. Sometimes I think it's been me driving this whole ttc quest but he's suddenly become really engaged in discussing and pursuing adoption. I do have nerves and concerns about will you love the child but I think that is all part of the process and I know a couple of people who have done it and it has worked out for . I am sad that I won't carry a child again, and not being able to breastfeed makes me very sad. But I have learno that my desire for a child is driven by the need for our house/family to have more children in it, it feels so much like something is missing . This is a stronger feeling than my desire to carry another baby. I don't know if that makes sense.

I have spoken to some local adoption agencies . 2 have said they wouldn't accept us right now because of elliot's age ( because they know they already don't have enough children in the 0-2 age range to meet demand) but i had a lovely chat with Warwickshire LA and we are booked onto their information evening in February. The first step in their process 😊

 

[tommyg]

Bex that is sounding positive. I know a couple of families with natural and adopted children. It seems to have worked out very well for them, both families the kids are now in late teens or twenties.

From BiLs experience in Scotland the LA's keep the very young children that will be easy to place on their own books. With older children tending to end up with other agencies.
Is there a recommended minium age gap that the agencies would consider?

When one family did it they were recommended a min 24 mth gap especially if it was same sex as natural child to avoid sibling rivalry. However a they ended up with a 10mth gap but opposite sex. The kids were 5 & 6 at the time.

Braven I think it is only you and DH who can make the decision if adoption is the right move for you. The whole process seems very invasive and people judging you.

Afm. They phoned yesterday to say 13 have fertilized. We are going for 3 day transfer.

 

[Srbjbex]

13!! That's amazing, so exciting for you. So big question....transfer 1 or 2???

Every LA I spoke to said they would need a minimum 2 year gap so on the basis DS would probably be 4 by the time we get approved we will be looking for a child in the 0-2 range (although most children eligible for adoption are nearly 1 due to the time it takes for the court order process). But my friend who is adopting has been offered an 8 month old and a 6 month old recently. I agree that LA's keep the younger children for placement themselves.

 

[tommyg]

I think the only reason my friends ended up with a smaller gap is 5 year olds aren't that easy to place.

We are looking at putting back 2. The embryologist said 3, given I'm nearly 41 but I'm not sure. I guess it will depend on the quality of them tomorrow. I'm praying for them x

 

[Srbjbex]

I would do 2 too if I were you....good luck!! 😊