35+ TTC 1st Graduates!!! Come on Over!

[codegirl]

Chantal. Glad to see you've stopped by. This is a great group of women (I think) even though I don't post a lot, they are always warm and inviting

 

[svetayasofiya]

Chantal! Welcome!

 

[pablo797]

chantel welcome!!!

missmuffett, i'm sorry work has been so stresful! I am glad you talked to your HR dept re: maternity leave. I want to take at least 6 weeks off but am affaraid I will meet with some resistance. Any suggestions?

vivienne, yeehhhh scan went well!! Since you're calling baby "bob" does that mean you think it's a boy? My MS comes and goes. Yesterday I was miserable all day, today is better. Thanks for asking, how's yours?

rottpaw, so sorry again about your dad. Sounds like you and he are in a good place despite how hard it must be. I am thinking of you and sending lots o hugs.

AFM, nothing new to tell other than it's finally starting to warm up! xx anna

 

[svetayasofiya]

Wow, I feel guilty............. you girls in the States have horrible mat leave. Anna- 6 weeks??? really????? What do they expect you to do with your child at 6 weeks? You're not even getting a full nights sleep then.
I won't tell you how much I get...............................

 

[rottpaw]

Welcome Chantal!

Chris, I am afraid to ask how much leave you get, though I have heard numbers from other Canadian friends that are amazing! We only get 6 weeks (paid) at my company for an uncomplicated vag delivery and 8-10 (depending on what your doctor will certify) for a c-section. But even that leave is only with a doctor certifying we are "temporarily disabled" and it only pays at 60% of our normal salary Then, the first two weeks are unpaid entirely (we can use accrued PTO, if we have it, to get paid during that period). I even checked with my dr. today to see if there is any point at which they will certify me as needing to be out of the office (like, before the birth - assuming they don't literally expect me to go into labor at my desk!). She said no, because they would have to certify me as disabled in order for me to begin my leave, there is no "early leave" that the doctors can order unless I develop problems (which of course I hope i don't). So I'm currently planning to take off a week before my due date, but it'll be unpaid leave until the baby is born and then for 2 weeks after. GAH!! It's crazy!

And yeah, I do not know what "they" expect us to do with 6 week old infants (many of whom, these days, are actually born a few weeks early and thus may only be about 43 weeks "gestation" by the time they are 6 weeks old!) Some friends of ours just had their baby 3 weeks early and, at 3.5 weeks of age, she was still so fragile and tiny I could barely trust myself to hold her. I cannot imagine adding two and a half weeks to her age and then taking her to a day care or similar at that size. Thankfully her parents won't have to do that, and neither do hubby and I plan to put ours in child care at anything close to that age, but many people here have no choice if they can't afford to take the time off work. It's sad to me that 6 weeks is considered enough time for a new family to bond

Anna, you were asking about length of leave - in the US, assuming you work full time, your job is protected by the FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) for up to 12 weeks, though all or some of that time may be unpaid (depending on your company's maternity leave policy). But I was glad to find out they can fire me if I want to take 12 weeks as long as I'm willing to do it unpaid. That's something, I guess!

We had our OB checkup this morning and all is still well. Baby is doing fine. I thought it was interesting because twice she said "so stay pregnant till at least 37 weeks" and I thought to myself, are you saying you'll induce me or something after that time? This is a different doc than I usually see, but I'll be seeing my normal doc again for the remainder of my appointments. I'll ask her then what the doc meant. I would be more than happy if baby comes on his own anytime after 37 weeks, but would not want to be induced unless they think it's necessary.

Ah well, I'm rambling again! Sorry! Hugs to all!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Hey everyone!!! Thanks for making me feel welcome *hugs*

Sorry, don't know names yet, but rottpaw, I think the doc simply said that because at 37 weeks babies are considered term *hugs* Would there be a reason for which you'd need an induction?

Ack mat leaves... Not everyone in Canada get the nice year off. I'm a doctor and only got 3 months off with my work place. Took an additional 4 months completely unpaid though. Couldn't fathom leaving a 12 week old (who came 1.5 weeks early) at home She's now 8 months old, I've been back at work for 1 month, and my hubby, Nathan, got parental leave from work so will be home with her until she's 15 months old. I hate leaving her in the mornings though

EDA: oh just saw your siggie, Angela! Nice to meet you

 

[svetayasofiya]

Well I am certainly not going to gloat, but we get 50 weeks (almost a year). I don't know the full details but it goes something like this: first 6 weeks 75% of your salary (although my employer will top it up to 100%)... then I think it dwindles to 75% for a bit, then 55% for quite a long time. I am really scared how that is going to work, but we'll make do.
I just think how the States does things medically is soooo wrong, right down from fully privatized healthcare to horrendous mat leave options. No wonder so many women just quit their jobs and become stay at home moms. Honestly, I wish I could afford to stay home until my kids go to school but it's just not reality.
I am a massive fan of the USA so don't get me wrong, it just amazes me how anyone has kids there with all the limitations.

 

[codegirl]

It almost killed me to leave E and I had almost a year off with him. I really don't know how you ladies in the US do it. I'm totally looking forward to my mat leave again, the less than 55% (I max out before getting to the full 55%) is hard financially but we did it before and we'll figure it out again.

Of course, my workplace is hell and at this point I would like to stay home forever, but maybe that will get old once I'm feeling better. If I'm really fortunate I'll find something p/t to go back to next year.

 

[rottpaw]

I am so jealous of your maternity leaves in Canada, even the 3 months! I'm looking at 4 more weeks of work here and every single day just kills me. I could be getting so much done (or RESTING ) if I could be at home, but there's no taking off early here it seems. I guess they really DO want me to go into labor at my desk!

We can get 3 months "job protection" meaning they can't fire you during that 3 months, but it may be completely unpaid unless you have maternity benefits or disability. And it runs from whenever we leave the office (so, like I'm taking 1 week off early, I'd have protection for another 11 weeks if that makes sense).

Thanks Chantal and that is so cool that you are a doc! Are you a specialist or a GP?

 

[codegirl]

Angela - that's so crazy. I've been extra fortunate since my workplace has excellent sick benifits so I've been off on sick leave/LTDI since August without having to use any mat leave. so I'll still get a whole year off on top of that.

Of course, being sick sucks and I would have rather had a healthy pregnancy but I'm so thankful that I had a position that has that kind of coverage.

 

[MissMuffet08]

Welcome Junebug! Nice to have you with us.

Anna I am not sure about your company or CO, but in CA, what my HR person said is that when I first go out I have to use 5 days of sick time, then depending on your dr you can take 6-8 weeks of Maternity leave and the state pays a portion and then (at least my company) will pay the rest using vacation time. Then Angela is correct FMLA you can take up to 12 weeks, however your job is NOT safe if they are doing layoffs and your position is no longer necessary. For me, because I have so much vacation, the state will pay a portion and then my job will use more vacation and sick time to fill in the rest of my pay. There is a portion of time I can take that I would get money from the state, but not from my company. It was kind of confusing, but when I look at the chart it makes sense. I believe that with all my vacation and sick hours I will be able to take abut 4 to 4 1/2 months off for maternity leave and get my full salary... I think.

Sorry that this was long and I hope it makes sense...

 

[MissMuffet08]

Hey Rottpaw and Codegirl...when did you start to actually "see/feel" your baby move? I still am only feeling it on the inside but haven't seen any kicks on the outside. I keep telling my hubby to put his hand on my belly, but he can't feel anything yet. I am starting to get nervous about it.

 

[codegirl]

I'm a heavyer girl and I'm pretty sure that DH started to feel my "indigestion" (what he calls the baby moving) at about 23 or 24 weeks.

Now you can actually SEE the alien moving around "Honey, that's some bad indigestion you have tonight" quote of DH after seeing my entire belly move

 

[rottpaw]

Hi Steph,

as long as you feel it on the inside, all is well. I was surprised at how long it took before hubby could feel them from the outside (and even longer to "see" them from a few feet away). My dr. said that I should not worry even if *I* did not feel anything till 22 weeks, so as long as you are feeling things you're ahead of time. I would not stress. As baby gets stronger over the next 8 weeks or so, you will definitely be able to see and feel the movements.

And as Code says, by the time you are into the 30+ weeks, you can watch your stomach tumble around like a scene from Alien!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

I miss feeling baby movements I felt Z for the first time at 17 weeks and DH (Nathan) felt her at about 24 weeks. He didn't have much patience for waiting with his hand on my belly so if he had done that he would have felt her much sooner

Angela I'm a specialist, Medical Geneticist. My practice is mostly adult genetics (hereditary conditions) but my training was comprehensive in pediatric genetics and prenatal genetics (including counselling for infertility, and conditions involving the fetus). I love what I do but it makes me a VERY stressed "older" pregnant woman!

 

[Vivienne]

Hello ladies, can I join? My name is Chantal, I am 37, conceived baby girl Zoëlle when I was 36 and she is now 8 months old. TTC #2 right now! Looking for a thread on which I can feel at home and this might be the one?

Pumping at work right now but I will come back and read the whole thing top to bottom! In the meantime, congrats to all who are pregnant, and rottpaw sorry to hear about your dad

Welcome Chantal. What a tres belle name for your daughter

 

[Vivienne]

chantel welcome!!!

missmuffett, i'm sorry work has been so stresful! I am glad you talked to your HR dept re: maternity leave. I want to take at least 6 weeks off but am affaraid I will meet with some resistance. Any suggestions?

vivienne, yeehhhh scan went well!! Since you're calling baby "bob" does that mean you think it's a boy? My MS comes and goes. Yesterday I was miserable all day, today is better. Thanks for asking, how's yours?

rottpaw, so sorry again about your dad. Sounds like you and he are in a good place despite how hard it must be. I am thinking of you and sending lots o hugs.

AFM, nothing new to tell other than it's finally starting to warm up! xx anna

We call it BOB after episodes of Blackadder where they have a girl disguised a boy called bob, sort of a trans gender joke! I really don't know what's in there but as I got a lot of butt views from Bob yesterday I'm thinking it takes after it's dad so must be a boy!
MS still there sadly. I thought once I hit 12 weeks exactly I would wake up and it would be gone ha ha- wishful thinking. I still weigh less than I did before I got pregnant which I could stand to lose.
You are right about the coming and going of MS now I wish it would just go!!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Hi Vivienne! I love the Bob story, too cute!!!
I hope your MS goes AWAY!!! Mine was bad until 12 weeks, then it went away, but came back at 14 weeks full force Was on anti-puke meds until I had her at 38.5 weeks. I'm really hoping the next pregnancy won't be as.... nauseating!

 

[rottpaw]

Chantal I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one still on nausea meds! I only take them overnight, as I seem to be okay when my blood sugar is normal (only seems to be a problem overnight and early morning, when I'm not eating).

I can imagine that your medical background makes it harder to be pregnant at our age, just knowing all that can go wrong. But I also think it would be neat to know so much about the intricacies of pregnancy! Very cool!

Viv honey I hope your MS goes away and stays gone!

Have just spent a few minutes (which is all I can handle at once right now LOL) trying to organize baby's closet and put some of the goodies we've received away. It seems there is a conspiracy among the manufacturers of baby products, to drive already-impatient pregnant women completely around the bend. I just spent fifteen minutes (seriously!) picking all the little plastic fasteners out of a fleece blanket that had been "stapled" together in 8 different places (where it was folded) using those little plastic things like price tags have. Cutting those little things and then trying to fish the very tiny pieces out of plush fleece was, and I'm not exaggerating here, exhausting! I love all the gifts everyone's given us, but taking them out of their various packaging is a real exercise. Whew!

Okay hugs to all! I'm off to bed and up early for our ultrasound tomorrow!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Good morning ladies!

Angela Glad it's not just me who was frustrated with all the packaging. I remember trying to unpack baby socks and I swear EACH sock in the pack of 6 pairs was attached to the next one with those stupid little plastic fasteners. It took me so long to get them cut, and I had 3 packs like this!

I'm pumping at work right now. Which is really the only time during the day I have to check BnB. Just wanted to say, Zoë slept 8PM to 7AM this morning!!! I haven't slept that long since August 2009 before I got pregnant (had severe insomnia starting first tri )

Hope everyone is having a nice day so far