35+ TTC 1st Graduates!!! Come on Over!

[newmarriedgal]

Thanks ladies - what a crappy day.

It does help to have a little guy babbling mama mama all day and making me laugh with his antics, but I have such a deep ache. And you all know where my mind is going: what is wrong with me that this happened Again!

I called the OB this morning and talked to a different woman (thank god) and when I said my name, she immediately apologized (either she heard what Charlie said - he wouldn't tell me what he said, just that he made his point) and said there was no excuse. I told her I was bleeding and she said because the number was so low, it shouldn't be too bad this time. I have to go back in 2 weeks for another blood test to make sure it's at least down to 2 or lower (she said they consider 2 not pregnant).
I know Charlie is a wonderful husband and does everything for me, but he didn't even offer to stay home today! Given what I went through before, you would think he would be worried enough to just offer to stay home (granted he works 4 mins away). I think I'm just over-emotional and really could have used him home. But then I think what made me mad was he asked me: so I guess we're not going to the zoo tomorrow?
I swear to god, I almost kicked him. I know they just don't fully get it but the zoo? as if I'm going anywhere!!!

on a side note, I would guess we can't try right away, like we were going to, because they will test the blood in 2 weeks? or should I just say, the hell with it, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be????

what a day. Thanks for being here.

 

[svetayasofiya]

I'm glad Charlie chewed them out.
Don't start stressing on 'what is wrong with me', because there might not be anything wrong with you. I have had two miscarriages too. One at 8.5 weeks which was awful and ended with in the hospital, and a chemical like you, a couple weeks ago. I am starting to think I have a luteal phase defect... but we'll see what happens this cycle. It's hard not to worry that we have problems, but at the same time, it's not helpful to our mental state. I know it's different for you because you are still probably emotionally raw from your MMC in Feb. I personally don't see why you would need to wait at all this time round. We didn't. Even if you go for a blood test in two weeks, you'll most likely only be ovulating then. How long are your cycles?
Don't let this discourage you. I know so many women who have had mc and chemical pregnancies in between successful ones. Hang in there Beth. We're always here for you.

 

[newmarriedgal]

Thanks Chris, your post really did help me.

It is so easy to worry, but I'm trying not to because it's just not healthy. I did have a thought, though that I wanted to run past you all because I honestly don't know if they are related.
a friend (and her sister) of mine told me to have them check my progestrone levels because they both had losses due to low numbers and were put on it to help the early pregnancies take root.....my related question is this: when I was pregnant with Poppy, I literally was one month off of birth control, which has a progestrone in it. Is that why that one was successful, because I had been taking BC for 10+ years then got pg right away? We don't seem to have an issue Getting pregnant, just staying pg.
Should I ask my dr about if they are related and check my damn numbers? I go back in 2 weeks, and I'm wondering if I should call sooner and ask....

or am I just grasping at straws? (possible)

The cramping is still there, but not too bad, bleeding like a regular period. You are right, Chris, I am still very raw from the MMC, that I still get very emotional about it. I told Charlie last night, "God forgive me, but I'm glad we didn't hear the heartbeat this time like we did with Cookie, I wouldn;t have been able to handle it." Then I started crying because how horrible is that for me to say!!?!?!?!?

I have to go fake like I'm working remotely for a few minutes. I think I ate all the chocolate and ice cream within a 50 mile radius already.

 

[svetayasofiya]

Aww I'm glad because I was afraid maybe my post came off as insensitive.

I think getting your progesterone checked is not a bad idea. I want to do the same. Like I mentioned before, I think I might have a luteal phase defect (short LP) and the treatment for that is progesterone suppositories after OV and during the first 8-10 weeks of pregnancy. If I don't get pg this cycle I am going to the doctor. This will b cycle 9. I had an appt. scheduled for July but cancelled because DH and I were on a break TTC... and for reasons that came to light in May, I believe DH was the problem. Without getting too personal, many things have changed for him these last three months and his health is on track which is why I believe I fell pg last month with one BD. However... was my CP a one off? Or do I have a Luteal Phase Defect? Time will tell. I have been charting for three months now and I seem to have a 9-11 day LP. Not great. Before I had Sophie I always ovulated on CD14 (or so I thought) and had a nice long LP. I guess with age these things change?

Nothing wrong with being proactive!!

 

[rottpaw]

Beth ABSOLUTELY demand that they check your progesterone as soon as you get your bfp. They should do that anyway when they run a beta (Hcg level). With both of my pregnancies my levels were low (15) with Ethan and medium (29) with Reece at approx 4+2... My dr out me on the vaginal suppositories (much less on side effect than the oral) and I used then till 12 weeks even though she said I could quit at 9!! My feeling was I wanted to do whatever I could that might help get thru first tri (the placenta takes over around 13 weeks). JMHO but YES get that checked!

 

[newmarriedgal]

Thank you both, I appreciate your help - I honestly have no clue what mine is, low or normal or what, so I know the nurse practitioner comes in tomorrow, should I call her and ask or wait for the 2 weeks blood test? She may think I'm over emotional (which I am) and I don't know, think I'm crazy??? Maybe I can ask what it was from the time I went in this past week?

And Chris - not insensitive at all. honestly, it made me tear up (only because I know you can relate) but fortified me in a way to say, she is right, I have a healthy baby already, it is obvious I CAN have babies and stop over stressing. I took an OPK kit this month as well and saw it positive (I get the ones where the smiley face appears, I can't tell with the other ones, all the lines look the same!), but the positive smiley face appeared 3 days in a row, so we kept the bd up (and got the woo-hoo UTI, lol - oh it feels good to laugh a bit) so I O'd a day later than I normally thought I would have if I stopped the OPK on the first positive day. what that means, I have no idea, I am rambling now.

hugs and THANKS ladies.

 

[pablo797]

Quickly checking in to check on Beth. Hey girl how ya doing?? I think getting progesterone checked is a great idea! I asked my do for about it and got a mixed review from her nd. My oerinatologist, saying that they thought supplements did no good. HOWEVER,there's just too much information out there and I knew so many who had it that I went to my naturopath's office and got a topical progesterone to use for the first trimester. At the end of the day there were no negative side effects and it gave me piece of mind.

Lots and lots of hugs!!!
Anna

 

[pablo797]

Ok sorry I didn't preview that's at and so many typos.i check with my doctor and perinatologist.

Also it says there are six members viewing this thread right now, so that's most of us

Hi all!!! Hope very one is well!!
Steph, how are you?????

 

[MissMuffet08]

Hi Ladies!!

Beth how you feeling sweetie? I think progesterone is definitely something you should talk to your obgyn about.

Chris how are you? How was Sophie's bday?

Friday was my last day in the office. I'm officially on maternity leave. Thank goodness. I was ready to be done with work. My coworkers gave me a surprise baby shower which was really nice. I had a baby shower today. So tomorrow or Tuesday I will be at bru returning things and buying things. Csection scheduled for Wednesday Sept 4th.

How is everyone else? Jamie? Angela? Viv how was callums big day! When is the wedding. Never how are you doing?

Well I'm off to bed I have a non stress test in the morning. Have to go twice a week. I'll check back tomorrow afternoon.

Hugs,
Steph

 

[newmarriedgal]

Hi Ladies,

Anna and Steph and everyone, thank you for checking in on me. I'm doing ok. Just sad, tired and worried. I'm blah today.

I had told my mom that I got the positive test because I was so nervous and wanted the extra prayers. She just said Oh when I told her and I said I was nervous and she said why? Took my back a bit and said, because of the miscarriage earlier. She said oh well, I guess. it will be fine though. So when I called to tell her it was ending, she said that's too bad. Then nothing else. No other call from her, knowing what I went through the last time. But she calls me Friday and is all cheery and chipper and says: "HI! so what's New???" Seriously?? I said, well, I'm still going through this miscarriage. She was silent for a minute and said, oh yeah, how it is going? when I said I was struggling a bit, she said Really?? Still?? I got off the phone real quick after that and she told me to call her back when I was in a better mood. Seriously???
She called me today and said: so I was calling to see how "you-know-what" is going.
I'm so done with her right now. She did have 2 miscarriages herself, so I don't know.

I wimped out and didn't call them yet about the progesterone. I'm so afraid they will think I'm crazy (esp since with the MMC, I was crying over the phone and one of the RN's told me to calm down, it wasn't helping anything) or overly emotional or something. I know i shouldn't care, but I do. I will try and call this week. Why the hell I have to wait 2 weeks when the number was 17 confuses me, so that is next week for the blood test.

I'm exhausted but ok. Charlie said it's up to me on when to try again, he said: you're the one dealing with the physical aspect of it, whenever you are ready, i'll be ready.
I'm going to think about it, I thinking I just want to continue this month and see where that goes.

love to you all, steph, you looked so lovely in the FB pictures at the shower!

hugs
b

 

[svetayasofiya]

Awwww Beth You know, my mom was kind of the same last month when I told her of my mc. Maaaaybe a little nicer about it, but not too sympathetic. We all react differently to things so you can't really expect her to be all emotional about it, just like she can't expect you to be over it already. Put some distance between you and her for the next little while if you think that will help.
I think maybe the best thing for you is to get back on that horse so to speak and keep trying. Definitely call about the progesterone if you think it's an issue. They can test your levels at the same time they test your hCG levels. It would be perfect timing too because from what I have read, they have to test your progesterone just after Ovulation to see if you have a deficiency or not. Will you be ovulating around then?
Hang in there friend.

I had a crappy day yesterday. Now I'm sick. Sore throat. Ugh. I'm on my work computer so I can't really get into anything now.

Sophie's birthday was so much fun! Friday (her actual birthday) we spent with the inlaws. It was nice. They had decorated a bit and my DH's aunt surprised us as well. Lot's of food, cake and presents. Around 8:30pm after bath, Sophie was so tired and kept asking to go home so we had to gather everything up and pack up the car. She had been there all week during the day so there was a lot of stuff. There was a little bit of drama, but I'm so exhausted whining about my inlaws I'll save you the trouble. lol I just see them WAY too much and I get annoyed because my family is on the other side of the country and I never get to see them. My SIL is such a total BYATCH it drives me crazy. We used to be friends years ago, but she's just never grown up and she's always so grumpy. You know the type that you have to walk on eggshells around? Anyway, she's just really difficult to get along with and so argumentative. God forbid you say something wrong she blows up. So as we are leaving I could see she was really annoyed with me being all stressed out, but everyone was in the way and trying to give us crap (food to take home) and Sophie kept whining 'I wanna go home' so I just said I don't have time for this we need to go. So she slammed the food down in a bag and handed it her brother like, wtf is your problem, here! Then as we are getting our shoes on the stupid dog was in the way and I stepped on his foot. (Last week I stepped on his tail and he bit me). I kind of overeacted and yelled at the dog and said 'I am tired of always being the bad guy and stepping on you, get the eff out of the way!!'. I think it took everything in her not to punch me God forbid she treat a human nicer than a dog Not to be a dog hater (because I'm not) but this family is weird with their dogs. Don't even get me started. The only time I have ever seen my FIL angry and yell at me in 9yrs is when I was mean to the dog because I thought HE WAS GOING TO BITE MY BABY!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I need a break from these people. We are expected to go for dinner EVERY Sunday. It's exhausting. Nine year of friggin Sunday night dinners, and I only get to see my family once or twice a year...... H E L P

Saturday was so much more fun! We had a BBQ at our house and invited our close friends who also have kids. So we were 7 adults, 4 children and a baby. All the kids were bw the ages of 2-2.5 yrs. I decorated and had the splash pool out and a tent house. We have a swing hanging from our tree so there was plenty to do and they had so much fun. The four toddles had dinner together on our Little Tykes picnic table. It was so adorable. I will have to post some pictures. Then the adults had a BBQ of hamburgers, caesar salad and corn on the cobb. It was alot of work and I was sooooo exhausted! But Sophie had a blast. We did cake after and the kids sat on our laps. Too late and too many bugs outside at this point. I wanted to do a teletubby theme and had all these plans to make a cake, but ended up recycling one that my husband's aunt made. I'll post a pic later. She had made a big bunny cake and my MIL had ordered a cake from the bakery so there was so much cake and SO much pressure to take it home. I was a little annoyed because I had other plans and how dare they expect me to serve my guests left over cake just because THEY made/ordered too much. That was the food argument I had with my SIL. Anyway in the end I really ran out of time to make anything (partly because I was stuck at my inlaws all week after work. THey would never just let me pick up Sophie and go home). Aaaaargh I really dislike them right now. They cause ME SO MUCH STRESS.

All in all her parties were a success and she had a grea time. Sunday I took her to the park in the morning and we played in the backyard after naptime. The weather was amazing all weekend.

I feel like such a ball of anxiety. I think I need to start counseling again. I have been through so much this summer, trying to keep our family together and dealing with inlaw crap and ten years of managing emotions the distance between me and my family causes me. I'm think I am going to crack soon. I really lost it last night and just layed it thick on DH. I just feel like I am there to protect everyone else but there is absolutely no one there to protect me. Then I got a text from my aunt in Alberta and my cousin was in the hospital. I just broke down and bawled. Sophie came and sat on my lap and gave me a big hug saying 'don't cry mommy, it will be ok'. Could I seriously have a better child? Oh my I love that little girl so much. I got it together for her sake and we had a bath together playing with these new water whistles she got for her bday. So many giggles.

Sorry for the long post. Good, bad and ugly, lol

I should really update about Sophie and how awesome she is. lol Thanks for being here girls to let me vent. *Not like you had a choice.

 

[svetayasofiya]

And one last thing... I'm so sad because my brother never even called on Friday to say Happy Birthday and so far they haven't even sent her a present. For twelve years I have always called and sent presents to his boys. On Friday I sent out an email to my family with pictures of Sophie wishing her a Happy Birthday. My brother at least responded but his wife didn't. How can you be so cold? You don't have 30 seconds in your life to wish your SIL's daughter a happy birthday? You have no idea how many emails I have sent out to them with absolutely NO acknowledgement ever. Like my family doesn't matter.
I am really at the end of my rope emotionally. I am not sure I can take much more and remain civil......

 

[skye2010]

Hi everyone,
So much has happened since last time I hooked up.

Beth, I'm so sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancy. I first saw your photo of the pregnancy stick and was very happy and looking fwd to an answer. Than I saw the other posts How are you feeling now? Did you have the AF and the pains? Progestrone check is a good idea. Also as we get older the body changes and the frequency of fertile months seems to decrease. (the age varies massively in every woman) So either the egg or the sperm might have been not strong enough too. Doesn't mean the next time will be like that. It's just impossible to tell if the body will work in a top notch condition or not every month. I'm gonna advice my daughter to get pregnant at her early 20s. Forget the career girls syndrome )) I'd like to have a grandchild. That story about your flintsone cake that your dad baked is so sweet. isn't it amazing how some things stay with us a s childhood memories and shape the future. Maybe that cake was why you make such beautiful cakes now )

Chris sorry about all the drama at Sophie's birthday. We have a family drama at every occasion too. It really sucks. I just lowered my expectations from every family member. They seem to be looking for a drama to get a bit of colour in their lives. It also effects my relation ship with hubby too. People are so thoughtless really. What can you do?

Steph what is the non stress test? When is the csection date? Are you having a csection by choice or did you have a complication. So exciting the baby is coming so soon. Is it a girl or a boy?

Hey Angela sweetie ) How's the biting going? Shirin started biting too while she was cutting her front teeth. Bonjela before the bfeeding was all I could do with not a definite success. As soon as I felt she was going to nip I used to lift her top lip with my little finger to stop the latch and try to make her giggle.

Hey Anna )) xxxx It is wonderful that your friend id pregnant at 43. I have a few friends at that age waiting for a miracle too. And I am oficially 40 from this July ))

AFM: Shirin woke up and than fell asleep on my lap while eating breakfast. Hahahaha. She must be going through a growing phase. She also managed to hum the whole of ABCD song this morning. She can't talk yet but can hum :0. What sort of words do they need to speak at 18 months? `she has a lot of baby words 'Dutdut" for car, 'neigh neigh' for a horse but not complete words.

that's all for now. can't type anymore with one hand while holding sleeping shirin on the other. she looks so cute that i don't have the heart to let her in her bed

 

[MissMuffet08]

Hey Skye the non stress test is when they put a monitor on the belly to make sure baby is ok and moving like they are supposed to. It takes about 40-45 min. Sometimes longer if baby isn't moving enough for them. I'm having another girl and had to have a csection because the last one was csection and the way they cut me means they have to do it again. Csection is scheduled to happen in exactly 14 days from today!!! Sept 4. However I have be conscious of any contractions/ Braxton hicks or real. They don't want me going into labor as my scar from my first csection could rupture.

So cute about Shirin falling asleep while eating.

Chris- glad that Sophie had a great bday weekend despite the family drama.

Hope everyone is having a good week. I'm trying to prepare for baby. Katelynhad a slight fever yesterday but is fine today. I think the rest of her molars are coming in. I just love watching her play and discover stuff.

 

[pablo797]

Morning all!!

Beth, how ya doing girlie?? People seem to respond to MCs differently. I never realized the emotional impact of a MC until I came to this site. I'm so sorry your mom was so insensitive. Many many hugs!! Family drama seems to be the theme here lately. So hard dealing with family. Know I'm thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs your way.

Chris, ohh my poor sweet bump budy. I'm so sorry Sophie's birthday was so drama filled. Sounds like she had a blast and the party with frinds and other toddlers sounds just perfect. As forget family drama, I am so sorry. Can you tell DH that you need some space from them? Maybe dinner every other Sunday? He should understand and be sensitive to it, but we all know how men can be a little obtuse. As for counseling, I think it's a great idea, even if you only got for a little. We all need help at some time or another and if you don't have any family near by, then a counselor may be just the ticket. I wish I could reach through this computer and give you a ginormous hug!! All will be ok, deep breaths.

Skye, don't worry about Shrin's vocabulary, at 18 months, Jo was very similar and I kinda freaked out, but now she is amazing. At least one new word a day if not two. It's crazy how the speach thing comes on so fast.

Angela, how are you doing? Are you getting outside with the boys? Going for walks? From the customers I've had in my store they've said Georgia is having an unusually cool summer. Hope that means you've been able to enjoy it. How are the boys? How's Reece's speach coming along? Lots of hugs!!

Steph, just two weeks!!! I am so excited for you!!! So nice of friends and co-workers to give you baby showers. Speaking of . . . Woohoooo!! Maternity leave!!! That's such a nice thing to be on, so glad you've got a little time to get things prepared. How's Katelyn today? Feeling better? Any fever??

AFM, not much to tell. Crazy week with a big bike race in town, but it was terrible business wise. Still a fun event. DH is sick (again). It's his stomach. And he always gets the same thing. I'm starting to wonder if he has an ulcer, or is having some reaction to the chemicals he works with. Or if he has some kind of parasite . I'd also like him to get tested for a wheat allergy. I am sorry he's sick but in true male fashion he's the biggest baby. Thing is I already have one baby to take care of. I don't think he realizes that when he's down and out it doubles my work load with Jo. He might as well be out of town.

Anyway went for a run yesterday and the sweetest dog followed us home. He also almost got hit by a car. When we got back to my house I tracked down his owner through his registration tags. His owner was so nice, he bought me A bottle of wine for taking good care of his dog. I would have kept this dog he was so awesome, but alas knew that a dog that awesome had to have a good home and would have been missed.

Other than that Jo is two soon and we're going to the zoo. She's crazy these days and like I said a new word every day. It's really fun to watch her grow at such a crazy rate. We're still working on potty training and she's doing awesome, but we haven't committed to it fully just quite yet. I'm afraid to push her too fast, don't want it to backfire and she loose interest.

Hugs to all!!!
Anna

 

[pablo797]

... I use the word "awesome" too many times for someone who is 41 years old. Promise to expand my vocabulary next post!!

 

[svetayasofiya]

... I use the word "awesome" too many times for someone who is 41 years old. Promise to expand my vocabulary next post!!

I think I use awesome quite often too. Dont change!!!

Thanks so much for the virtual hugs. They're not sooooo bad, I just get really worked up sometimes. Sigh. I have asked DH many times before about going over less and he always says I don't have to go, but basically he'd still go and take Sophie with him I don't want to sit at home alone! Men just don't get it!

Sorry your DH is sick. Why are all men such babies???? Good luck getting him tested. I can't get DH to go to the doctor Soooo responsible.

So sweet how you rescued that dog! What kind of dog was he?

YAY for mat leave Steph!! How much time will you have off?

Skye- Shirin sounds so adorable falling asleep on your lap. It's moments like that we must cherish. I can't remember how much Sophie spoke at 18mo but I wouldn't worry. Like Anna said, when it happens, it happens so fast!! Sophie will formulate sentances now with words I didn't even know she knew!

I'm 8DPO today girlies. Fingers crossed! Short LP so AF is due Monday........ Hopefully that darn witch will stay away! Been feeling very nauseous which I know is really premature, but I felt like this with Sophie. I am also still SO bloated. I had a friggin third person now offer me a seat on the bus yesterday!! For goodness sake, I am NOT fat. I better focus more on my posture. My back has been killing me though.......

 

[newmarriedgal]

Hi Ladies,

sorry I went MIA, but, you know. Been a little tough. Found a sweet quote that has helped me a bit:
An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth, and whispered as she closed the book 'too beautiful for Earth'

anyway, been a confusing time too. I called the OB and spoke to another nurse, very nice. She said they do not test for progesterone levels until the 2nd miscarriage and they do not count CP's as full miscarriages. I kinda blew up. I said, how can you let people go through this multiple times before you check off the damn box at the test? And, excuse me, a CP is still a loss. Then I kinda fibbed (oops) and said that my sister had 3 MC's (that is actually true) and she had low progesterone (that I fibbed). I got them to agree to test me next positive. progress.
Then I called them back another day because I was still feeling nauseous and wicked hot. I said, if my number was 17, why am I still feeling this way a week after? shouldn't it have been done with? And I got a positive HPT test. they said, oh it takes a while for the hormones to leave the body. Which I get, but with a level of 17, come on! She said, well, tell me about the bleeding, and I said surprisingly it was light and only 3 days or so, when AF is usually 6 for me. HMMM, come in on Monday (this one coming up) rather than Wed for another blood test. Gee, thanks for the 2 whole days sooner.
So ok, we are coping and are OK. and decided to go again straight into this month. So out of habit, I start OPK testing on day 7, one week after I started bleeding. Negative, figured as much. I always always O between CD 13 and 15, even after the MMC and DNC. So then CD 8, I get a positive OPK. WTH? I never get it this early. So I took a HPT test, also positive. CD 9, both tests positive. CD 10 (today), both tests positive. WHAT is going on here. How can I have this much hormone still in me? Now I feel kinda full and heavy lower belly, kinda like AF is coming. I'm so tired. What is this? I go Monday for another blood test to be sure it is going back to 0 (they say they consider a level of 2 to be not pg). I know many people's cycles get messed up with MC's but I hadn't experienced this before, even with the last MMC.

I will respond proper later. Thank you everyone, for checking in on me. I'll be back in a bit.

 

[svetayasofiya]

Is there a chance that you are still pregnant??? With my chemical I bled HEAVILY and the cramping was quite excrutiating. I don't know what to tell you, other than time to go back to the doctor.

 

[newmarriedgal]

Charlie thinks I am, but I can't let myself think that way until I get the blood test numbers Monday. I'm trying to tell us that the hormones are running rampart in me, but it's just so weird!

ps, good luck to you on 8DPO!