35+ TTC 1st Graduates!!! Come on Over!

[caroleb73]

Hey Ladies

Devasting news for me, I went to the hospital today and my numbers have nearly halfed they have told me that I will miscarry in the next couple of days and to stop the progesterone.

I am in the office as only started my new job last week so cannot take time off and keep going to the toilet to cry. I can't beleive this is happenening as it took me 18months to get my one and only BFP and just feel like I am never gonna have kids. I am 38 in 5 months time.

I have to see what I will do next as DH and I do not trust the docs here and that is why I was flying home to London to have my IVF treatment but we know that it will be very hard for me to take a month off work again.

Why can't things be easy.

 

[lynnb]

Hi ladies

I know I should be here but still feels a little too soon. I have my first Drs appointment on Friday morning, probably just a chat & get told to book midwife appointment for 10 weeks. I'm going to ask if I can have a reassurance scan at about 9 weeks as I m/c at 9+4 & I'm sure that my baby died the week before as I had a major bleed then.

Have just read through this whole thread, it's so nice to hear so many of you have the same concerns/worries as me. Also nice to hear that some of you are nearing your due dates, so exciting for you & reassuring for the rest of us.

As for my symptoms, well I've been a little constipated the past couple of days & have started taking Golden Linseed on my breakfast, hopefully that should help. I've also been feeling nauseaous (sp?) so I'm sucking crystalised ginger which seems to be helping. I also have sore boobies. On the whole don't feel too bad.

Has anyone else had bloating early on? I didn't have this last time. I look as though I'm 4/5 months pregnant already and it's getting hard to fit into my clothes, at this rate I'll have to start buying clothes with elasticated waist bands , didn't think I'd be doing that at my age!!

 

[lynnb]

Hey Ladies

Devasting news for me, I went to the hospital today and my numbers have nearly halfed they have told me that I will miscarry in the next couple of days and to stop the progesterone.

I am in the office as only started my new job last week so cannot take time off and keep going to the toilet to cry. I can't beleive this is happenening as it took me 18months to get my one and only BFP and just feel like I am never gonna have kids. I am 38 in 5 months time.

I have to see what I will do next as DH and I do not trust the docs here and that is why I was flying home to London to have my IVF treatment but we know that it will be very hard for me to take a month off work again.

Why can't things be easy.

So sorry to hear this, don't know what else to say but thinking of you & sending you lots of

 

[codegirl]

caroleb73 -

 

[svetayasofiya]

... It's funny how much time i have to write at night now that evenings don't include cocktails!

Have a good one!!
Anna

I can relate!!! *Weird dream btw. Pregnancy gives you the STRANGEST dreams, lol

Hey Ladies

Devasting news for me, I went to the hospital today and my numbers have nearly halfed they have told me that I will miscarry in the next couple of days and to stop the progesterone.

I am in the office as only started my new job last week so cannot take time off and keep going to the toilet to cry. I can't beleive this is happenening as it took me 18months to get my one and only BFP and just feel like I am never gonna have kids. I am 38 in 5 months time.

I have to see what I will do next as DH and I do not trust the docs here and that is why I was flying home to London to have my IVF treatment but we know that it will be very hard for me to take a month off work again.

Why can't things be easy.

Carole There are no words... just know we are here to support you and I completely understand how devastating it is. Just please don't give up.

lynnb- welcome!

 

[rottpaw]

Carole honey I am SO very sorry. I know you've been through so much just in the last six months that I've known you. Please don't give up hope. You and your DH will sort out the next step when you are ready and just try to take it one day at a time. You did get the BFP from this first round of IVF which is encouraging and so it IS possible. I know it is tough to get back and forth to London but at least you know you can trust the docs there. Please know you are in our prayers and we are sending all our love. my friend

 

[rottpaw]

Lynn, welcome! And I actually think the bloating (though not fun!) is a good sign hormonally. Several people on our March thread had that very early. Just means you can start collecting maternity clothes that much sooner LOL! I will have to say, I never thought I would LOVE maternity pants but they are SO comfy! Now I don't know how I'll ever go back to things that actually have a fitted waist!

Sveta, pregnancy definitely gives you weird dreams, especially in the early days. That was another of my earliest symptoms. I've not had such strange dreams all the way through; only at the beginning. But they were super strange then!

Anna - the whole baby clothes thing really is fun! And my mom bought us some fun things for Christmas like the Baby Bjorn carrier I wanted and a "bundle me" thingy that goes over the carseat when it's chilly. Everything is so soft and plush and just makes me smile. I can't wait to have our little guy here so we can snuggle with him!

I will try to work as long as I can, but (I know you ladies understand!) I have said from the beginning that I refuse to push myself with work beyond what feels comfortable and manageable. We tried for too long to have this baby for me to do anything that I feel might endanger the pregnancy. I work a desk job, but it is high stress at times and I have, more than once, told people at work "I'm pregnant and I'm not going to stress over XYZ just because you brought it to us at the last minute and now think it's an emergency." LOL! So I've tried to take it as easy as I can. The nausea ended up causing me to cut my hours by about 5-10 a week (I'm still working 30+) and go in a bit later in the mornings, so right now I am working about 11-6 ish each day. I'll continue to do that as long as it's manageable. We haven't fully decided whether I will go back either part time or at all after baby comes, but a lot will depend on whether work will allow me to work from home.

(Sorry, bit of a vent coming here). So meanwhile it was an emotional evening for me last night. My Dad's health is continuing to decline and, because we do not live in the same town and I can't really participate in managing things for him, I feel very helpless to do anything to help him, and I'm watching his wife (long story there but they have only been married 4 years and we do not think her motives are honest) just let him slide downhill without trying to do much to help. It is SO frustrating and last night she got in my face about it and I just lost it. I'd been doing a pretty good job of trying to balance my anger with her (and some frustration with him, because we've offered many times for him to come live with us and so far he won't do it) but last night, when she starting telling me they "have everything under control" I just wanted to scream that it doesn't look like anything is under control from where i'm sitting. His pain management is pretty well nonexistent and he hasn't eaten properply in four months now. But anyway, I'm going to keep pushing for him to come live with us. It would be upsetting to watch him decline day by day, but not nearly as upsetting as feeling this helpless to do anything for him.

Ah well. I need to see if I can get my contacts into my eyes, which after a night of tears feel like they've been sandpapered then glued shut!

I hope everyone has a good day and to all!

 

[Lucy1973]

Carole so sorry to hear your news, its devastating enough to miscarry, but when you are our age and have been trying for ages its an extra hard blow. Please don't give up, just look after yourself right now and know we are all thinking of you.

Angela, sorry about your dad situation, must be very hard for you

Pablo/Anna, when I had just had a positive test I had a dream about myself with a little girl, about 2, and now I am having a girl so who knows? Dreams can be strange sometimes....

 

[Lucy1973]

Hi lynn hope everything goes well this time and you have a happy and healthy 9 months. I had bloating early on, until the major sickness kicked in and I lost weight! Sounds like you have good symptoms now.

 

[pablo797]

Carol, I am sooooooooooo sorry!!! I know how sad you must be. It has been such a long journey for you. I do think there is hope in that the first IVF took initially. It's hard not to loose hope, but please hang in there. I had a dream last night that I MC. I woke up so sad and it took forever to get back to sleep. I can't imagine ur pain. Huge hugs to you!

Rottpaw, so sorry to hear about your dad. How frustrated you must be by the situation. Keep pushing for him to live with you, but in the mean time you are only human and can do only so much. Take care of yourself too.


Lynnb, I am soooo bloated!!! After I eat I look 6 months pregnant!! Glad I am not the only one. Our symptoms sound very similar. I have a little nausea now and then (now being one of them), but overall feel pretty good.

AFM, there's good news and bad, bad first as it gives you something to look foreward to. I'm sitting in the surgery center for my mom's lumpectomy for her breast cancer and feeling sick. She is in good health but it's all sureal, to have a parent sick. Also had blood work done on monday to check HCG levels and they were souposed to call yesteray with results but so far no news. So I'm totay freaking out that something is wrong. Probably what lead to the MC dream.

Good news is I got some nookie this am!!! Took the "bull'" by the horns and got me some . . . And it was goooooooddd!!! Sorry tmi.

to those having such a horrible day big hugs, your in my thoughts. Xx anna

 

[rottpaw]

LOL Go Anna!! Good for you! I need something to smile about today!

The situation with Dad is very frustrating. I keep praying about it and I'm trying to let go and trust God to work things out. I just want him to be comfortable and happy as much as possible, and when he's telling me he's neither of those things, but he won't agree to get out of the situation where he's currently living, it is very frustrating.

I am so sorry about your Mom. Do they think the lumpectomy will be all that is needed? I hope so!

Don't stress about the lack of phone call on the results. Actually they are quicker to call you with bad news than with normal results, which often get pushed till later after urgent (to them LOL!) things are taken care of. if you have not heard it is probably fine, but don't hesitate to call them and remind them you are waiting! I was so blessed with our FS being great - they always called me by day's end to report results, which helped a lot since I'm very impatient!

 

[pablo797]

rottpaw,

Got test results yesterday afternoon and they were good!!! Numbers increasing as they should. Plus had a bad day symptom wise. I think I go in hormonal spurts. Seems like every few days I feel worse like there's a spike in hormones, and I'm a little more nauseous, dizzy and tired.

No new news today. Just working lots. Trying to take tomorrow off but may have to go in for a few hours to take care of things.

My mom is good, thanks for your kind words. Yes, they think they got all the cancer in the lumpectomy but she will start radiation in about a month.

I hope you are well. Hi to all the other ladies. I hope this thread keeps it's steam. We need more BFPs to jump on board.

Have a good night!!! Anna

 

[pablo797]

Me again,

So I was just on the TTC 1st, 35+ page and was noticing all the MCs and when they happened. It kinda freaked me out. I was noticing Happy Auntie who has MC at 8 weeks and at 12 weeks. I thought you were safe at 12weeks?!!!! I swing from feeling pretty good about this pregnancy to total panic. How do you handle the "what ifs"? I know at some point you have to put your faith in the universe, god or whatever and what may be may be, but the anxiety is tough to handle.

Vivienne and Svet, I am drinking ginger tea and it's the best I highly recommend it!!

Ok I'm really out for good this time, sleep well, Anna

 

[svetayasofiya]

Hi Anna (and everyone else). Glad to hear your mom's lumpectomy went well. Here's to a speedy recovery!

YAY for rising HCG levels! Stop thinking about mc pleeeease. I think about it enough for everyone! lol But seriously, we can't compare ourselves to other people's experiences. Everyone and every pregnancy is different. Generally come 12 weeks you are out of the woods, but there are no guarantees until you are holding a healthy baby in your arms.

I first came on this forum when I had my mc because I was looking for support from people who understood what I was going through. It scared me as read on how common it was, and how many cases there seemed to be of people having a mc late in 1st tri or even in 2nd tri. When I mentioned this to my husband at how common it seems to be he set me straight.
Basically this forum is a microcosm of the world where a small few (in relation to the world) have gathered to share their experiences. Like all things in life, people have a tendency to share bad stories before they'll share good stories. Plus you'll have a ton of people who came here originally like I did to find comfort in other people who were experiencing the same bad situations. So yes, you can have a mc at any time, but is it common? Not as common as this site makes it seem. I'm no brainiac analyst but, my husband's take on the situation makes sense to me.

Anyway, I agree, we need more BFP's here! I would have posted earlier but I am soooo busy at work now so I'll only get a chance to get online during the evening. I try to catch up during the day on my iphone but posting is a bit difficult.

Hope everyone is doing well! xo

 

[lynnb]

Chris - You're husband sounds so reasurring, wish mine came out with things like that

Anna - Try not to worry too much, I know it's easier said than done & I hope everything goes really well for your mom

Angela - Sorry to hear about your dad, hope the situation improves soon

AFM - I had my first Drs appointment this morning with the nurse practitioner who I saw just before my m/c. I burst into tears as soon as I told her I was pregnant & she did her best to make me feel better, she's going to ask Denise, the practice midwife, to call me on Monday & says that Denise will probably see me early than 10 weeks & that she'll be able to arrange an early scan, but if I have any niggles before then to call.

The bloating is not been so bad today, I've managed to get my jeans done up (just!), but have a wedding reception to go to tomorrow & have nothing to wear, I feel a shopping trip with hubby (or at least his cards) coming on

 

[rottpaw]

Anna, your numbers sound great and I too found that the symptoms sort of come in waves. The doctor said it's a good sign all is well. I'd have a good day, then two worse ones (the flip side is, when you start to feel better at 12-16 weeks, you'll have several good days for each bad one, so it does get better! I think the hormones definitely peak and ebb. Everything you're mentioning sounds perfectly normal to me! And no matter how awful you feel, there is always hope that you will be one of the lucky ones that feels better after like week 9. That happened for our friend who was just a few weeks ahead of us (she was only truly sick for about 4 weeks).

For you, Sveta and anyone else who's stressing about mc, I will say first, I agree with Sveta's hubby. This forum definitely draws those who are seeking support after a loss, and it also draws those of us who've had some issues ttc to begin with and will worry more (naturally). My hubby said something similar and told me to get off the boards. LOL I don't want to downplay your concerns, because I know that like me you are probably seeing things on the boards that scare you to death. I actually found that I had to avoid the boards for a while as I got farther along, because I (like you) thought I'd be safe after 12 weeks, only to go on the 2nd tri boards and see a couple people who mc. I was stunned and so scared! BUT, and this is what I want you to keep in mind - those ARE the exceptions to the rule. The whole time I was in 2nd tri I only saw like 3 mc posts. Most people do NOT mc at ANY point, especially after 12 weeks (the risk goes down to like 5% or something after 12 weeks). It definitely can happen in 1st tri, but even then the statistics are low overall. And nearly all of those relate to genetic or chromosomal abnormalities, not anything the mother did or did not do. It can happen, but it's not as common as it seems here on BnB.

So try not to stress. I know it is hard because I still worry something will happen. I think especially with the first, because our group in particular has waited and tried for so long, we are more prone to worry over every little possibility. The only advice I can really give that may help is to know that almost every woman worries in 1st tri, but you'll (and baby will) almost certainly be fine!! I just found I had to take it one day at a time, celebrating the fact that all was well for another day (and quite honestly, I was so ill for a while that the misery of MS became my focus for most of the summer, but again - one day at a time!)

So this will give you guys a laugh - I have not been too worried about labor and delivery YET. That is, till hubby told me he'd been watching some birth videos and I got the bright idea to go view some myself. YIKES! I'm trying to comfort myself with the idea that I am DEFINITELY planning to get an epidural. One of our good friends just had her baby last week and she did great (with epi) so I'm focusing on that, not the scary videos LOL! I know better than to go looking for stuff like that. And I will say, the ones where the mother has an epidural don't look to bad (as far as mom's perceived pain) - just scary to see the full view of what's happening. But the babies are SO sweet and adorable from the very first instant, and that's what it's all about!! So I'm trying to keep focused on the fact that, however he has to arrive (he's currently breech so may be a mandatory c-section) we'll get to meet him that day!

Today we go back to the OB for our 30 week visit! I'll be 31 weeks Sunday and can't believe how fast it's going now. I'll report back!

Have a great day ladies!!

 

[svetayasofiya]

Thanks Angela! You said it so much better than me!! LOL

Birthing videos...... ugh. I have a friend who is the same term as you and her and her husband just finished birthing classes before Christmas and those birthing videos horrified him. He just kept saying there was poop everywhere!!! *Sorry for the TMI.

Hope everyone is doing well!

TGIF I can't wait to sleep this weekend! For some reason this week I keep waking up at 4am and struggle to get back to sleep before my alarm rings at 6:30am.

 

[Lucy1973]

Hi, I agree with the girls, just take each day as it comes, and gradually the time will pass and you will become more confident Anna. I am 22 weeks and still have wobbles, even though everything seems fine. I don't go on the board as I will always see a story that scares the life out of me, but I wont feel completely safe until the baby is out and doing fine.

There is no way I am watching any birthing videos....I really have no desire to see other women give birth..yuck!

Sveta I am the same, waking at 3 or 4 and then not sleeping the rest of the night, its got a little better lately so there is hope you won't be like that the whole time!

Just had flu jab so am relaxing now so it doesn't make me feel ill. Hope everyone is ok.

 

[pablo797]

morning ladies!

wow you are one wise group of women and I am so lucky to have all your sound advice. I started thinking the same way last night, that most pregnancies are healthy and we are just exposed to some of the worst case scenarios due to the boards. I love this thread the the ttc over 35 thread, wouldn't change them for anything. But you're right in that we all joined it searching for something or neding something / someone to understand our pain. So i'm pulling my head out of my ass, staying positive as I feel really strong and healthy and expecting the best instead of the worst.

Svet,i am tired too!! I was going to take today off but woke up early with DH and couldn't go back to sleep. SO I went into work an hour early and mopped the floors. Then left for a few hours. Think i'll go home and take a nap, then go back later to tie up some things before the weekend. I am feeling not so great today, another wave of hormones.

thanks again for the grounding advice!

rotpaw, I know what you mean about birthing videos. It'll scare the crap out of you. One of my best girl friends was all hell bent on natural child birth, then the contractions started and she was like f$#k this!! She's pro epidural all the way. Good luck at your appointment todayj!

i'm off to take a nap . .anna

 

[rottpaw]

LOL about the delivery and p00p issue. I have been warned about that from other friends. One friend was so afraid she would have that happen in front of her husband that she insisted on an enema when she got to the hospital with her first. The nurses tried to talk her out of it, but she was adamant. Needless to say, she immediately regretted it (they could not give her an epidural after she had the enema, so she had very little help with pain and on top of the results of the enema!) Now that she has had her 2nd child (with decidedly different birth plan LOL!) we laugh hysterically at her worry. It's very common and the nurses clean it up REALLY fast so I'm trying to remember that will be the least of my concerns, and I'm forbidding my husband to leave my side until the baby actually comes out!

Anna, you may find the fatigue gets worse for the next 10 weeks or so, so please nap whenevr you can! Everyone keeps reminding me to nap whenever I can, because it will be the last chance for a loooong time LOL!

Lucy I hope the flu shot doesn't bother you too much. Mine was sore for a day then that was it! I feel a lot better knowing I've had it, especially as flu is gaining speed here in the states.

Chris I understand the sleepless misery. I slept pretty well in 2nd tri (that "honeymoon" phase, again) but now I'm glad if I get 1.5 hours at a time. I usually sleep for several periods each night, but typically wake somewhere between 12 and 1, 2 and 3, 4 and 5 and then 6 and 7. It's exhausting, but good practice for when the baby arrives! Mine is a combination of reflux issues (first part of the night) and then I often get hungry if I wake up later in the night or early morning... sometimes can't go back to sleep unless I get up and eat

My dr. appt went well; all looks good and baby's heartbeat is strong! As soon as I arrived, they said my dr. had left to deliver a baby (luckily hospital is next door, so she was back in about an hour). So several of us got to spend the morning sitting in the waiting room, but it is good that she went on over because the patient ended up needing a c-section. But she said everything looks good and now we go back every 2 weeks instead of every month.

Okay happy Friday ladies and I am SO glad it's the weekend! This weekend's to-do list: baby furniture!!