35 & ttc #2....buddies?

[Angell1023]

Hi ladies, after reading your posts I decided I'd try to join in. I need some sort of support, the most I get from my hubby is "I don't understand why you're stressing about this."

Anyways, a little background : Had 2 miscarriages in 2003, was then told by doctors I was having pre-menopausal symptoms and that I would "never" be able to carry full term. As any stubborn young adult would, I started TTC. Luckily I never contracted anything from my stupidity, but 4.5 years later I became pg with my son. He was born healthy as a horse in 2008. I met my hubby shortly after, and at first he didn't want a child, but starting early this year he changed his mind. We've been TTC since March. My son just started kindergarten last week and I'm breaking down. I'm noticing symptoms that obviously aren't there, I need help.

Can't wait to hear back from you guys!

 

[lysh]

Hi Angell...welcome! I will respond more later....on my way out the door, but I at least wanted to say hi!

 

[Mrs HM]

So tomorrow I have to go to work for the day.

Oh good luck with that! I'm sure you will both do brilliantly and I hope your DD's sleep routine will settle quickly. Hopefully you'll get a good nights sleep tonight to help.

Congrats on deciding on September for TTC - that's not too far away at all. Very, very exciting! I hope it all goes well and I'm probably be joining you in the ttc obsessing a month later!!

Seriously, good luck for the first day at work, I hope it goes smoothly for your family.

 

[Mrs HM]

Hi ladies, after reading your posts I decided I'd try to join in. I need some sort of support, the most I get from my hubby is "I don't understand why you're stressing about this."

Anyways, a little background : Had 2 miscarriages in 2003, was then told by doctors I was having pre-menopausal symptoms and that I would "never" be able to carry full term. As any stubborn young adult would, I started TTC. Luckily I never contracted anything from my stupidity, but 4.5 years later I became pg with my son. He was born healthy as a horse in 2008. I met my hubby shortly after, and at first he didn't want a child, but starting early this year he changed his mind. We've been TTC since March. My son just started kindergarten last week and I'm breaking down. I'm noticing symptoms that obviously aren't there, I need help.

Can't wait to hear back from you guys!

Hi Angel
Great to hear from you! Firstly, I'm so sorry for your losses but so pleased for you that the doctors were wrong and you were able to carry your son to term.

I'm not actively ttc yet, but I do remember that it's all consuming and symptom spotting was the worst as every month I was convinced it was my time...why does our body and mind play these horrible tricks!

Sounds like your DH is relaxed about the whole thing...I don't know how men can be so chilled about something so major as ttc!!!

Are you tracking your cycles in anyway or using opks etc??

 

[Angell1023]

Tracking my cycles yes, but no opks. I have been using a lot of online resources to estimate my ov phases. My AF was due Monday, but didn't come until today. Even though I got a BFN, was still hoping it could be wrong.

 

[lysh]

MrsHM- Thanks for the well wishes. DD was up at 4 this morning! So I am pretty tired. Today went okay, she cried when I left but was easily redirected. She did not nap well at my SILs...she basically napped 40 minutes the whole day. Hopefully that will not ruin her night sleep.
I am already second guessing my Sept. start date. This is what is going to drive me crazy...the am I ready or am I not phase!!! ugh!!!! I think I am just tired from having a string of bad nights with DD so it is making me over think everything.

Angel-Sorry for your previous losses but I am glad to hear the doctors were wrong and that you had a healthy pregnancy and son!!! Symptom spotting is obsessive.....every twinge I felt I though for sure I was pregnant and would be so disappointed to see a BFN when I tested. Sorry you got AF. Now that you have been TTC for 6 months, are you going to bother checking in with your OB? I am not sure your age, but I know my doc said he wants to see me if we do not get BFP after trying for 6 months.

 

[Angell1023]

Hubby just says if it happens it happens, if not it's ok. I'll be 30 in Oct, but because of having pre-menopausal symptoms when I was 18 it still makes me nervous. I've always had very heavy AF, but it only lasts like 2-3 days. I'm not sure if it's still true, but after my miscarriages, I was told the lining in my uterus was too thin to fully support a growing embryo. I guess I'm just hoping my son wasn't a fluke/miracle. Men seriously don't understand what it's like to be a woman told she won't be able to bear children. I am very lucky to have my son, but I'm selfish, lol. I want one more. I don't want my son to be an only child, I want someone to share with my hubby. Sure we have a house, yard, pets, cars. I work part-time and have an at home embroidery business. Am I selfish for wanting one more thing? lol

 

[Angell1023]

Ooops, I meant 29 in Oct.....

 

[Mrs HM]

Angel - Of course you aren't selfish for wanting another baby, it's perfectly natural and the desire or longing for a baby isn't something I think we have much control over. I didn't really want child, or at least I had never really pictured myself as a wife and mother, but that changed so much once I met my DH and suddenly nothing else mattered!

I'm sure your son wasn't a fluke - if it happened once, surely it can and will happen again for you.

Lysh- how did you daughter's sleep go after being at your SILs? I hope she settled back into the routine without too much trouble.

And I've been second guessing our decision to ttc again too, but I think it's only normal to when you are flat out and tired. Even when you aren't, it's such a huge decision that it'd be worse if we didn't worry it right? It's the curse of the inbetween phase; wishing the weeks to roll in/weight to fall off so I can get started and then all doubts will give way to obsessing LOL

 

[Angell1023]

I definitely understand that. I wanted a baby, but I was scared of them. Until I had my son. Now babies are like puppies, when I see one I just yearn to pet/pick them up. I've been stressing about work too. They've been cutting hours, and it's hard to plan ahead and save when income varies...

 

[lysh]

Angell- I do not think it is selfish to want another baby. Of course we need to be grateful for the children we have, but that does not mean we cannot yearn for more! Sounds like you have a lot of stress going on.....I hope things get better at work for you.

MrsHM- It is funny how you said you never wanted a child to start with- I was the exact same way!!! When my DH and I first meant, we both were undecided about children. Then when we realized we wanted to spend our lives together I also started to want a child....I yearned for a family of my own! And here we are!
My daughter only napped for 45 minutes at my SILs, so she ended up falling asleep in the car on the way home. She was exhausted. I let her nap a little bit, but then had to wake her up so she would not be hard to put to bed. She did okay during the night, but has had difficulty with her wake-up times again.
Well, hopefully we will both stop second guessing and just go for it!!! Chances of getting pregnant right away are probably slim anyways.

What do you find the most exhausting right now that makes you feel like you are second guessing ttc? What fears do you have?

 

[Mrs HM]

I'm second guessing ttc right now only because I'm waiting to start and I'm not good at waiting! I'm also worried about work and taking maternity leave again, and how I'll cope with two LOs. Nothing in my daily life now is putting me off, it's thoughts of the unknown! I know that once we start ttc it'll all be fine though and each month without a bfp will be torturous!

Well we left LO with my parents for the night for the first time on Saturday and he was fine. He went to bed with no fuss and was spoiled rotten with attention, so I'm happy that he's at an age were he can be looked after without thinking the world is ending! This bodes well for bringing another LO home!

 

[lysh]

MrsHM- Wonderful- I am so glad your DS was able to settle at night without you!!! That must have made you feel great. When I am done nursing to sleep we will try it with DD.

I have a lot of those same fears. I know it is obsessive too....not looking forward to that!!! The other issue is that with work, I struggle balancing everything. DD needs a lot of attention (and being difficult with naps) makes it hard to catch up on housework, etc. during the weekends. So I worry about having 2 kids to chase after.

I am still waiting to see what my LP is like this month. I did not have any major ovulation signs and I am testing with the sticks....wondering if I missed it. I think everything is still out of whack.

 

[Mrs HM]

I'm sure as your DD gets a little older you'll find it easier to cope with trying to balance everything. I really hated the stage when my DS had just started to walk but was unable to understand much, so I was literally on my feet all day to keep him safe! That would have been around the 15 month mark for us as he was late to walk. Now, he has changed so much in the last 3 or 4 months and he's much easier to manage as he understands the majority of what I'm telling him and it's more of a pleasure tbh and I'm sure your LO will be the same soon. He will play with toys for 10 mins while I clean the kitchen etc.

Do you test with the OPKs at the same time every day? I hardly have any signs of O either, except some months I get a pain in my side, but I'll be using the OPKs too. I just bought some of he clearblue advanced ones so I'm excited to try these this month as I really want to check that I'm O-ing at all! Hopefully your cycle will settle soon as getting preg is hard enough!

 

[lysh]

Good morning by the way!! Thank you for the optimism. It is true, DD can (even now) entertain herself more than she use to.

My cycle has to calm down...it will probably get better when I cannot bf during the day due to work.

Back to work tomorrow for another day and then Monday starts full time!

I use to test in the mornings, but now I test when I remember. I need to be more consistent.

Little girl needs my attention! Have a good day!

 

[Mrs HM]

Oh good morning! Where are my manners!!

Good luck for work tomorrow. I was in the office yesterday and I'm finishing up a few bits today...no lottery win for me at last weekend so it was back to the grindstone too.

I test at noon every day, which obviously isn't with fmu, but I always picked up my surge before. I hated disappearing into the bathrooms at work to test though.

Have a lovely day too. My Lo is napping, but it's almost lunchtime here so I'm off to get that ready. yum yum!

 

[lysh]

DD is napping on me right now while BFing! lol She has a little fever though, so I am not battling her with it right now.

I did test with an OPK today and it looks like I will be ovulating. The line gets darker as ovulation nears....my guess is tomorrow will be the day. Then I will see how long until AF comes. I doubt my LP will be much longer as nothing has changed with BFing yet.

Hope your LO took a good nap! Anything good for lunch?

 

[Angell1023]

Sorry I haven't kept up ladies, work has been time-consuming... On one hand it's good, but I missed the entire holiday weekend... Partly because of work, but then Sunday I had a migraine. AF is completely gone now, so I'm looking forward to bedtime tonight.

 

[lysh]

Angell- Hope you are feeling better! Enjoy tonight!

 

[Angell1023]

Morning girls, no such luck last night. DH seems to have come down with a cold or something, and whined all night. Men seriously turn into big babies when they're sick. Off to work again.... Hope your days are more productive than mine!