39 and trying to conceive:-(

[PositiveUs]

I took progesterone supplements with the first ivf and my temp still went down when af was arriving. The reason I don't take them is because I may do another ivf cycle the next month and I fear that it will somehow interfere with the hormone levels at baseline. Idk. Idk what's going on!!! It's a catch 22!!!!!!!

Kismet- I don't know about the effects of B6 on temps. I don't really analyze my chart too much. I just look for big signs like temp drop. I don't have a membership to FF and I don't get all those points for symptoms. That would kill me, especially when they tell you when your due date would be every month if you were to get prego!!!

Bonnie- these sound like very promising signs and symptoms. You did take clomid... No typical af signs is good! I have all the typical signs, sore boobs (only at times), pimples, straightening up and organizing things; if I clean this weekend then I know for sure that af will get me. I always have a hankering to clean the floors and clean out cabinets and do the heavy cleaning you never want to do, when af is on her way. I get a lot done, but it's still sad because I know what it means. It's like impending doom. It must feel good not to take your temp every morning!!! How freeing that must be!

 

[BabyBean14]

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[PositiveUs]

I am taking dexamethasone though, so I'm not totally stupid!!!
And baby aspirin.
But I'm not doing the pineapple core the first 5 days post O or anything crazy.
Actually, you can buy progesterone online if you really wanted some. I've used the topical cream but it was a pain in the a** (finding a different skin area to put the cream twice a day became a real challenge and it smells weird) and it's not enough mg anyway. The things we do for baby!...

 

[BabyBean14]

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[PositiveUs]

When I had my embryo transfer in May, they gave me one dose of valium to stop the uterus from contracting. So I went home and looked up uterine contractions and you can have these micro contractions due to many different things and these contractions can interfere with implantation. They listed things like caffeine and other things. Then I thought, "should we all take valium for the first week after O??"... It sure would calm us the hell down!!!!

Pinapple core contains Bromelain, a proteolytic enzyme that breaks up proteins that inhibit embryo implantation, things like sunflower seed contain this too (I think, can't remember anymore). So it's to help implantation.

But after a while I can't help but think that even if I hadn't taken the pinapple core, that if pg was going to happen, it would have happened! Right? I mean, I know all of our small actions combine and gather like snowflakes to have the major effect, but I just couldn't keep up all my rituals anymore, I think it just all started to really depress me after the failed ivf.

Now I just believe it is up to the universe (of course I will do what I can myself) but I just think this is pretty much out of my hands like most things in life; we may think we're in control but we are not. Maybe I'm reading too many existential books and watching too much "Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman" I guess

 

[Bonnie1990]

I know. There are so many things we can eat or drink or take to influence or hinder the process. I think in the end, it's either gonna happen or not and is not up to us.
I like Valium idea. Hehe. I have it from when my neck was bad and take it on occasion when I can't sleep but of course avoid it in the TWW. Maybe I shouldn't now!

 

[Bonnie1990]

And yes it is freeing not to temp.
I don't find the due date information bothersome on ff. just the damn points. I wish there was a way to turn parts off. I would probably turn them back on to peek anyway.
I am afraid though if I get my BFP and have not temped I'll be dissapointed not to see what my temps did though. Yeah-weird I know

 

[BabyBean14]

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[PositiveUs]

Well. it's 12dpo for me and I tested this morning just because I happen to have tests in the house and it was negative. I get AF around 17dpo, so that's not until Saturday! Seems so long! That will make this a 37 day cycle or so because of the fertility meds and then not responding and then being cancelled. I don't think it's too early to test, I think it's negative because it is!!!

Just hung out w a 2y/o, an 8 month old and a 2 month old this weekend. My other friend is about to give birth, so there will be 3 infants in our close circle of friends. They are all 4-5 years younger than me, so... After about 2-3 hours hanging out with any of them, I need to get out of there!!! I need to be alone after that kind of close interaction and listening to all their conversations (mom to mom) and their complaints and joys of motherhood. It really starts to get to me after about 2 hours. So I leave at that time and get the hell away. They don't know what this is like. I am facing the very real possibility that it may never happen for me; and then I will be around these people as the kids get older and become teenagers and adults (if I live that long), etc... This is too hard sometimes...

At least I get to try a couple more times to stimulate and see if this is really the end of the line or not. I call the FS with next AF and we do a baseline scan and labs.

Take care all. This is getting to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ridiculously hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonnie- sorry about your AF.

My chart looks great, but what the hell does that even mean???????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

[BabyBean14]

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[PositiveUs]

I am seriously considering stopping temping also, mid cycle!
I can't temp during ivf, if I even get lucky enough to do ivf again.
I mostly only temped this cycle because ivf was cancelled and I wanted to know when O was, so now I am free to stop!
I am becoming really rebellious of this whole process.
So many different phases you go through with ttc. Denial, anger, sadness, pleading, anger, giving up, feeling there's still hope, and apparently in my case, rebellion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to say "I Don't Care Anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and yell it out over the rooftops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And go about my life, and stop worrying when this will happen and when that will happen!
I want a new job too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that doesn't even seem to be in my control at the moment!!!! I've looked for a year now!!!)

 

[groovysciteac]

I am in your boat! I will get on the roof top with you. 2nd IUI was a failure. I was so hopeful. AF showed up even though I was on progesterone, so it is not like I can even have some hope left while I was for the call (results from BW). I am mad at my body and truly sad that this may never work for me.

 

[PositiveUs]

I have already decided to leave this up to a higher power than myself. I have done this with a number of problems in my life; I imagined myself handing over this heavy package and giving it away.
The problem with this particular problem is it's time sensitive and more life altering than most other problems and even though I gave it away, I still worry about the outcome, which you are not supposed to do if you truly leave this in the hands of a higher power!

You are supposed to make peace with the fact that this is out of your hands and in much more powerful and wise ones. you can still take the necessary steps to make things happen but for the most part you are supposed to calm down and have FAITH. Of course you will still have emotions and feelings along the way, but that is ok. You're not supposed to truly worry about the problem you handed over. The point is to free up your mental health and use your time doing, creating, giving and living and being in the moment during your life, not worrying and imagining and playing out scenarios...

 

[PositiveUs]

I had a terrific headache for my 40th birthday. It was soooooooooooooooooooo bad and it lasted for sooooooooooooooooooo many hours. I never get headaches, like ever!!! it must have been stress.
So I'm in pain on my birthday and tylenol is NOT doing the trick, I tried ice and a heating pad, I took my blood pressure just to make sure it wasn't high, but it was normal. I was having a nice enough day, but I guess by evening the pressure and anxiety gave me a raging pounding headache; the kind that gets worse when you bend down.
It was gone the next day, thank God!!! some birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[BabyBean14]

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[PositiveUs]

I gave it and temped this morning. Darn! It was high. I may stop while it's good and leave a good looking chart. I don't want to see it go back down.

Bonnie- will you do another round of clomid??? Might as well, right?

Hope all is well!!!

 

[PositiveUs]

ok. I will temp tomorrow and if it looks like it's going down, then I will stop. That's my plan.
Anything that can get you through the day is good sometimes!!!

Just saw a lady on the assisted conception get a bfn after ivf and she is younger and has much better "numbers" than me. You just never freaking know!

 

[PositiveUs]

Angry today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pimples!!!
Anger!

 

[BabyBean14]

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[PositiveUs]

Ok. The temp seems to be starting its decline so I am done with temping.
AF due Saturday but trying not to focus on it.