3rd Cycles A Charm??♤♡ Wishing on a star ♧◇ TTC BABY #2

[RainbowBaby13]

@Pinkfizz2015 thank you and praying you get your bfp. I wish we could ntnp too but unfortunately that won't be the case either. I'm having such a hard time with this decision to the point my depression just took a nose dive. My depression was already starting to get bad, now it's worse. I will be checking back here and there to see if you got your bfp


@FTale thank you so much for the prayers. I really need them. I told my husband if feels like I'm mourning a loss and I'm grieving because I feel like it's never going to happen. I told him words can't explain how crazy I feel to be grieving as if I lost someone. I guess I'm grieving the loss of a child i never had. Like having to accept something will never be. That's how it feels atleast. I have to return all the pregnancy tests and ovulation tests and to make matters worse im having ovulation camping but I know we aren't trying so right now so I'm just a mess. I'm getting emails about baby stuff from when we ttc. It's just hard right now. I might ask my husband to buy me a small pet to help me deal idk I'm praying you will get your bfp soon xx will be checking back to check on you

 

[FTale]

I am hurting with you. You said all the things that I am slowly doing to make my ttc journey end easier. Its a long road of bargaining with yourself to let go...for however long. In my case for good after December. I realistically have enough pregnancy tests to last till then. So no more buying tests.

Dont get a puppy or anything else right now to take care of. You need all of your own attention right now. Take some time to heal a bit. Its a process.
Big Big hugs

 

[Bevziibubble]

Thinking of you

 

[NightFlower]

Hope you're doing ok. Miss chatting with you!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

I am hurting with you. You said all the things that I am slowly doing to make my ttc journey end easier. Its a long road of bargaining with yourself to let go...for however long. In my case for good after December. I realistically have enough pregnancy tests to last till then. So no more buying tests.

Dont get a puppy or anything else right now to take care of. You need all of your own attention right now. Take some time to heal a bit. Its a process.
Big Big hugs

I am praying so hard for you that it happens for you before December yes so hard. That's exactly what I'm doing.. slowly allowing myself to let go of the idea of having anymore kids. I think there may be some infertility with my husband. I talked to him about and it's been a thought for a while.. so now really just coming to term with it may not happen. I decided to just focus on losing the weight and taking care of myself if it does ever happen. But yeah.. idk really how to feel. I don't want to press the issue with my husband and make him feel bad, I just asked him whenever we do try again if we can do a sperm analysis kit to see. Praying for you and will be thinking of you

Hubby said no to pet since we have alot on our plate so now pet for me right now x

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Thinking of you

Thank you

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Hope you're doing ok. Miss chatting with you!

I'm managing. I'm numb. I'm not doing ok I miss talking to you too

 

[NightFlower]

I'm managing. I'm numb. I'm not doing ok I miss talking to you too

I'm here for you if you need to vent or whatever. Hugs hang in there x x
So sorry your hurting so much

 

[RainbowBaby13]

I'm here for you if you need to vent or whatever. Hugs hang in there x x
So sorry your hurting so much

Thank you so much love I will definitely take you up on that offer lol

 

[Pinkfizz2015]

Thinking of you always here for a chat hun always best to chat than keeping it in. Lots of love and hugs your way hun x

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Thinking of you always here for a chat hun always best to chat than keeping it in. Lots of love and hugs your way hun x

Thank you I definitely will be chatting with you as well x

I've been having good days and bad days. Today is one of those bad days it's like whenever I get to a place where I'm ok, or atleast think I'm ok for the moment, I see a pregnancy announcement, I get an email about baby formula (which for some reason won't let me unsubscribe), I see maternity pictures, newborn baby pictures and arrival photos. Yesterday at work a lady asked me if I was pregnant because I had some of my equipment in my hoodie pocket and I guess it made me look pregnant. Sigh.. if only I could proudly say yes.

Then before that another lady was talking about how she has 7 kids and how she conceived one of her kids on valentines and knew because she was ovulating she would get pregnant. I wish it was that easy for me to get pregnant. I want to cry, scream, shout.. I won't bring it up to my husband tho because he knows I already think he might be infertile. I don't want to make him feel bad, sad, or like he is letting me down. So I've just been keeping it in.

It feels like I am burying a dream. I wanted 3 more kids. My son is 6 and has been asking me for siblings. My family has been asking us when we are having more as well. Now I don't know what to say except whenever God decides to bless us with one.

I've had a strong yearning in my heart to adopt for some years now and maybe this is why. I want to carry my own baby tho so badly and go to my appointments, see my belly grow, waddle.. I'm so sad.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Thinking of you

 

[NightFlower]

Hugs

 

[Pinkfizz2015]

Hi ladies I'm so sorry I've just seen this (notifications aren't reaching me)

You know I completely understand how your feeling but ease remember you are only human and you are allowed to feel this way. If you feel you can't talk with your hubby you can always come here and chat I will be checking here through out the day incase i don't get notifications again x

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Thank you all for your kind words and support I try not to post on here because I don't want to be a Debbie downer and bring anyone else down with me while you are all on your own journey's. Because I am no longer ttc and have no idea when we even will.. or if we will.. I kinda feel like I do not belong on here anymore. I suppose I could make a wtt journal but don't even know what I would be waiting for at this point.

It's getting really hard.. well I suppose it's always been hard.. but seeing pregnant ladies just guts me so much. Two days ago I seen a pregnant lady who was super pregnant. I have never seen a lady so close to bursting and ready to pop.. lol.. well it made me extremely sad. And yesterday I seen a pregnant lady with her belly out and thought about how she must have felt when she found out she was pregnant.

At another store I wandered into the baby section with my son and looked at all the baby clothes while I was waiting for my husband to try on some clothes. My son asked me if I was going to be buying some clothes for when I have a new baby. It was sweet but in my mind I replied if there is a new baby. Don't know if there will be one.

And early this morning I had myself a good cry. It seems like everyone is pregnant but me and oh how I wish I could see some beautiful pink lines on a pregnancy test. With covid, it seems like everyone is getting pregnant rather it be on purpose or not and here I am still not pregnant.

I'm so sad. It's hard finding the motivation to do anything. I wish I could just sleep for a few days and sleep away the depression, I guess. My best friend asked me if me and my husband have been trying and I told her no. She asked me because I told her I had a dream that she had a baby and she said well maybe the dream was about you. I said I wish. Deep down I just feel so empty. I lost my job due to the stupid vaccine mandate as well. I'm trying not to stress and trust God but I am so over everything at this point. Over it. Just need a little bit of a silver lining somewhere.

Well anyways, I'll be checking in on you guys and watching for your bfps Many blessings to you all

 

[Bevziibubble]

It must be incredibly difficult when you keep seeing pregnant ladies. I'm so sorry, it must really be a struggle. I'm thinking of you

 

[Pinkfizz2015]

Hi hope you are well. How have things been for you the last couple of months xx

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Hi hope you are well. How have things been for you the last couple of months xx

Hi!! How are you doing? I'm doing ok. I was doing good with not ttc but lately has been getting harder. I do want more babies, but don't know if I'll have more. I feel like sometimes I force my self to accept not having kids so that way the thought of not having more doesn't hurt as much.

 

[FTale]

Hugs

 

[Bevziibubble]