40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Pussycat1]

Hi Ladies, will hopefully have wifi in he hotel (think we should). Got a while yet, don't fly till 8th Feb, but first step tomorrow when I get my depot injection intramuscular on my butt (ouch!). This has been such a long time coming, if you'd told me 4 years ago we'd still be trying, let alone using donor eggs AND an overseas clinic, I wouldn't have believed you. It's amazing how your thoughts on what's acceptable change! If this gets me my bundle of love it will all have been worth it. x

 

[Weezy9]

Good luck with the injection today Pussycat...was it bad?
I know what you mean, When I first started TTC, I said to DH I don't want to do IVF, I'll want to try the natural approach be it TCM or doing supplements but NO IVF. Now look at me, going for my first round of IVF in a months time. I guess once you've been on the TTC boat for a while and you've learnt what you're up against, you'll start to weigh up other options to enhance your chances, and your age changes your decisions.

 

[Vonn]

Hi everyone!

Pussycat--How are the injections going?

Weezy--Do you start meds in a month, or has that all started for your IVF next month?

Bella--There are some threads that share about different Euro IVF clinics, so you should be able to get some good info if it comes to that...and hopefully it doesn't!

Jean--Do you go to the RE soon?

Terri--I hope your weekend away was fun and warm!

Dojenstein--How'd the cycle come out?

Hi to anyone I missed.

 

[Vonn]

Hi again! Two posts as this got very longggggggggggggggg........

My DH and I went to the RE last Friday. The dr wasn't outright mean, but was more old-school than I care for. He gives very little credence to the tests and vitamins/supplements my integrative dr has ordered. I believe her way of looking holistically at the body is the medicine of the future, so when he basically dismissed her work, my thought was, "Here we go again..."

I figured he would push IVF big-time, but he suggested three cycles of medicated IUIs first. He said we'd counsel after that to discuss next steps, if unsuccessful. I think he wants to see how my body responds to stimulated egg production. He kind of knocked IVF (with my eggs) for someone my age with most likely poor egg quality. He said it's often tough to stimulate enough egg production & natural IVF is very expensive for the chances. He talked about IVF using donor eggs as a great option for people in our situation and I started crying. Awkward. That option needs processing time.

I asked him about my progesterone and also asked about the use of melatonin, dhea & if there are any aids for egg quality. He totally blew me off. Said I wasn't seeing the forest for the trees. I said my take on it is that if there is anything I can do to help my situation, I will. He basically said there's nothing I can do.

So basically according to him, the only treatments that do any good are those that men like him in white lab coats have come up with in the last 50 yrs. How very presumptuous of him. Didn't leave me with a great impression. Of course, DH liked him, thought he was no nonsense. DH also thought it was positive that he placed the IUI chances at 9%. It made me feel defeated as the flip side is 91% failure rate. Ugh. But they are covered by insurance so we should definitely take advantage. We'll start next cycle as he wants to redo CD 3 tests.

I'm really trying to feel positive, next steps and all. But it is hard. This sh*t is hard. Sorry for the rant, but I really needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi Vonn, sorry to hear you're feeling down, rant away! I'll reply properly later as on my way out to work now. You'll get through this. xx

 

[Weezy9]

Hi Vonn, sorry you're feeling horrid with the RE meeting. Please don't feel deflated over this as you've got 3 x IUI so you may not need to go through the IVF. I suppose at least he's using the IUI's to test out how your body responds to medication, which in turn will help with IVF should you need it (I'm sure you won't). There's plenty of ladies who conceived with own egg in their 40's, remember what Belle said about her 5 friends lol x

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi again! Two posts as this got very longggggggggggggggg........

My DH and I went to the RE last Friday. The dr wasn't outright mean, but was more old-school than I care for. He gives very little credence to the tests and vitamins/supplements my integrative dr has ordered. I believe her way of looking holistically at the body is the medicine of the future, so when he basically dismissed her work, my thought was, "Here we go again..."

I figured he would push IVF big-time, but he suggested three cycles of medicated IUIs first. He said we'd counsel after that to discuss next steps, if unsuccessful. I think he wants to see how my body responds to stimulated egg production. He kind of knocked IVF (with my eggs) for someone my age with most likely poor egg quality. He said it's often tough to stimulate enough egg production & natural IVF is very expensive for the chances. He talked about IVF using donor eggs as a great option for people in our situation and I started crying. Awkward. That option needs processing time.

I asked him about my progesterone and also asked about the use of melatonin, dhea & if there are any aids for egg quality. He totally blew me off. Said I wasn't seeing the forest for the trees. I said my take on it is that if there is anything I can do to help my situation, I will. He basically said there's nothing I can do.

So basically according to him, the only treatments that do any good are those that men like him in white lab coats have come up with in the last 50 yrs. How very presumptuous of him. Didn't leave me with a great impression. Of course, DH liked him, thought he was no nonsense. DH also thought it was positive that he placed the IUI chances at 9%. It made me feel defeated as the flip side is 91% failure rate. Ugh. But they are covered by insurance so we should definitely take advantage. We'll start next cycle as he wants to redo CD 3 tests.

I'm really trying to feel positive, next steps and all. But it is hard. This sh*t is hard. Sorry for the rant, but I really needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.

Hi Vonn, sorry it's taken a day or so to reply properly. First off, this whole process requires processing time and I think sometimes old school doctors are so far removed from what we ladies go through that they forget the human angle. I know my consultant in the UK (who was female and early 50s) was very matter of fact and I didn't like that one bit.
I too started on IUIs and I think that's normal, as you say to see how you respond to meds. It's harsh to hear but when we get to 40 things do change ... As you're covered by insurance it seems the logical thing to do, you never know you may produce loads of lovely eggs and get pregnant first time round! Have you had your AMH levels tested? That should give some indication of how you MAY respond.
I think jumping from IUI to DE is one huge step that would be too much for most people. In my case it's been small steps along the way until we've reached this point and each time we've moved onto a different process I think I've definitely grieved but been able to fully accept the next logical step. It's hard because while you need to take your time in the decision making process, time is not something we 40plus ladies have a lot of.
With regards to supplements, I think drs are reluctant to recommend anything as the research is so sketchy and a lot of it is very early stages. I was told COQ10 was a waste of time, but I know other clinics think otherwise. I was also told the DHEA might improve egg quality (not quantity) but it takes 3 months and no guarantees. To be honest I think you have to go with what you believe. Hopefully you won't have to move to IVF but the IUI will give an indication of how you respond to meds. I hope you're feeling better and can move forward positively. We're here to rant at if need be. xx

 

[Jean40]

I just got back from the new RE. Let's just say my deductible is now met for 2015, ouch! I had a sonohysterograph and saw that the submucosal fibroid I thought was causing me the problem is barely into the endometrial cavity. He said that if they did a hysteroscopy, that it would probably not even get half of it out and it would grow back and that it probably wasn't keeping me from getting pregnant. It might cause a problem with miscarriage later, however. So, just waiting to get day 3 bloodwork done in 2.5 weeks and we'll see what that says. My insurance only covers diagnostic & once you start fertility meds of any kind, they stop paying, so that sucks. I guess it's one thing at a time. I guess I wait until after the bloodwork comes back to see about getting an HSG. The worst part of the whole ordeal today is the crazy winter storm coming & having to get there & back before it hits. That was quite stressful. Plus, it's a 4 hour drive roundtrip. I would've stayed around down there a bit if the storm wasn't almost there.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, I got a nice size follicle on the left side about to pop (day 12). I had a good one on the right side last month on day 12, so the ovaries look to be doing the proper job.

 

[Pussycat1]

Hey Jean, not sure I fully understand all your post, but it's good news you're developing good follicles.
Vonn, are you feeling any better?
How's everyone else doing? It's been so cold in the UK the past few days, time to cuddle up!!! xx

 

[Vonn]

Jean--Thanks for reporting back about your appt. Is there anything that can be done to get rid of the fibroid? The lab results should help give a more complete picture. And it's great that you have follicles that develop on both sides. I can't recall, do you temp so you know that they ovulate in a decent window?

Pussycat--January is flying by, February is right around the corner! So hopeful for you! Thanks for being so supportive. I'm chilling out about it.

Drs can really get under my skin. I've had some bad experiences related to my thyroid, so I am pretty sensitive about how I'm treated. I just hate drs who talk down to patients. I am really curious to see how the medicated IUIs go & how my ovaries respond. I'd love nothing more than to prove him wrong & spit out a load of amazing eggs! But that's next cycle, this cycle we're on our own.

Hi Weezy, Bella, Dojenstein (if you are still around), and Terri! And anyone else I missed.

 

[Jean40]

Oh yeah, I've temped for a couple years, so I do ovulate according to that. I also use the Clearblue Fertility Monitor and OPKs, I just got a smiley this morning. Now I just wait until the blood work comes back, but I have to wait to get it done since today is day 13. My GYN wouldn't order the blood tests (even after I asked her to, no idea why). The RE doesn't want to do anything else until that comes back, particularly the AMH. I will see if I can get another appointment with him next month when I'm down there for a cardiology appointment, then I can discuss the blood work results & see if he'll order the HSG, otherwise I have to wait until March 4 to see the GYN & once again ask her multiple times to do it, but she doesn't seem to want anything to do with helping me get pregnant.

According to the ultrasound I had last month, that one fibroid appeared to be "causing a mild mass effect on the endometrial cavity." That is why the RE did the sonohysterogram (or whatever it's called, the saline ultrasound, where they pump saline through a catheter through the cervix into the uterus). He showed me on the ultrasound screen how it is just barely pushing through into the endometrial cavity and most of it is still in the uterine wall, so if they tried to get it out during a hysteroscopy, it would only get at most half of it and it would grow back from the half that's left, so he didn't recommend removal. He's an expert at removing these, too, which is the main reason I agreed to drive 4 hours round trip to see him.

My deductible for my health insurance is $2000. The saline ultrasound was $2000 and it wasn't on the list of things the insurance company gave me that was covered for diagnosing infertility. My co-pay was $40, double what it is because even if the RE is in network, he is not within my health system (difficult to understand). Same goes for the cardiologist next month, I have a $40 co-pay, because it's a different hospital system. I just got two bills from last Dec, a $475 for allergy testing and almost $800 for the ultrasound, but since that was in 2014, it doesn't carry over to 2015 for the deductible (am I spelling that right?). Health insurance is difficult to understand. Some things they cover, others they don't, others need pre-approval, you don't know the actual cost of something until you get the bill. I thought the ultrasound would be $500 or less since I paid a $50 fee when I had it done. I will get an employee discount on it since I work at the hospital it was done at & since I have money saved up in a Health Savings Account (which will be gone once I pay these bills), I will get another discount for paying it all at once.

 

[dojenstein]

Hi ladies. Yes, I'm still here. I've been trying to limit my time on the boards because it became a little too consuming.

But I just took my last dose of Clomid today (phew) and I guess I need to make a Day 10 appt with the RE to see what's happening in there. This process is so confusing.

So I turn 41 tomorrow. Officially an old lady in the world of reproduction. Oh joy. My doctor makes me feel like I'm the cryptkeeper or something. Geez. I also hope DF doesn't forget my birthday and is secretly planning something. I'll be so disappointed if I wake up tomorrow and he's like, "what do you want to do?". I made a whole big thing out of his birthday so he darn well better return the favor. Granted I like birthdays more than he does.

How's everyone else doing?

 

[Weezy9]

hope everyone is doing ok.
I've gone back to my chinese doctor to initially do acupunture before IVF but she said if you can only afford one thing, she will get me to take herbal drinks. She's given me something really strong to give my body a real boost for a month before my IVF. Fingers cross for that. not sure if it'll work but if I'm having to pay thousands for IVF, what is another couple of hundred pounds

 

[Weezy9]

Hi ladies. Yes, I'm still here. I've been trying to limit my time on the boards because it became a little too consuming.

But I just took my last dose of Clomid today (phew) and I guess I need to make a Day 10 appt with the RE to see what's happening in there. This process is so confusing.

So I turn 41 tomorrow. Officially an old lady in the world of reproduction. Oh joy. My doctor makes me feel like I'm the cryptkeeper or something. Geez. I also hope DF doesn't forget my birthday and is secretly planning something. I'll be so disappointed if I wake up tomorrow and he's like, "what do you want to do?". I made a whole big thing out of his birthday so he darn well better return the favor. Granted I like birthdays more than he does.

How's everyone else doing?

Happy Birthday for tomorrow!!! I'm 42 (will be 43 by the end of the year) and I'm still here trying to have a baby hee hee
Hope your DH does something nice for you and your clomid cycle works for you

 

[Vonn]

Jean--Insurance is crazy! Every plan is different and it's so frustrating that most offer limited coverage for infertility. I'm grateful that I have some coverage (of course none for IVF, though). We all deserve medals for navigating all of it. I have spent countless hours calling the insurance company to check, double-check, confirm coverage/non-coverage. My DH is blissfully ignorant of it all.

Weezy--I hope the secret herbs are helpful! Knowing the potential benefit certainly makes them easier to swallow. I'm on tinctures of herbs now that go down pretty easy, but was previously taking some vile powder heated up in water like a tea.

Dojenstein--I hope you had a wonderful birthday!!!! Bet I know what you wished for! Did DH do something special for you? And as for the monitoring, I hope you like getting the ultrasounds that track follicle development. I do. It's cool to know exactly what is going on in there. The one time I did a round of clomid over a year ago, they did not monitor it, so next month when I try meds again, I look forward to the ultrasounds.

Pussycat--I hope all the injections are going well & you're managing to stay warm! It hasn't been brutally cold here in MN & that's been really nice. I hate the cold. You're only a couple weeks away now, right? Exciting!

Hi Terri & Bella! Hope you are both doing well.

 

[terripeachy]

Happy birthday, dojenstein! Hope your day was fab.

Nothing to report here except getting ready for Superbowl Sunday. We're having people over, so we need to get to the store and get all the food. I can't wait to pig out and watch football. Yum yum.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Still on fertility break here. I'm thinking that maybe in March we'll try our last chance at IVF. I don't want to leave any insurance $ out on the table. I've been paying for insurance for years without barely using it, so I want to get everything I can get out of this set of "benefits."

 

[Vonn]

Terri--Just curious, do you use money saved in an HSA for IVF, or does your plan actually cover the cost of IVF? I agree that there's no reason to leave anything on the table, so to speak!

 

[terripeachy]

My plan pays up to $25k lifetime for IVF, but that doesn't include meds. I have a $10k per year (I think) max on meds so my last cycle I had to pay for almost all of my meds out of pocket but I'm going to claim it on taxes. This year I should have another $10k, so that should be enough for one more cycle of ivf. I guess I better call my new prescription plan and make sure that's true before I get inspired to do one more cycle. It would be wonderful if I did one more ivf and got a lot of frozen embies. Those meds only cost me about $500, so pennies compared to ivf meds.
I'm fortunate to have good insurance and that my state is pro fertility.

 

[dojenstein]

Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes ladies!!! Luckily it was my day off so I got to hang out at the house in my pj's til 11, then go clothes shopping, then came home opened gifts, took a nap and went out for a nice dinner. All in all a great day. I did have 1 too many glasses of wine, but I'm hoping I won't be able to have any for a while so I need to get my fill now.

And yes, you all know what I wished for when I blew out my candle.

I had my first IUI today. Fingers crossed. I had one large follie (25mm) and DF's sample was way above average. Our chances are low cause of my age (my doctor makes me feel cryptkeeper old). But my fingers are crossed hard.

 

[Jean40]

I still have about a week until I get my day 3 bloods drawn, then next RE appointment on the 18th. I'm going to ask for a price list of things, thinking I want to try IUI first if my tubes are clear. I just had a major money blow today. I came home to work to find an entire wall of upper kitchen cabinets completely torn off the wall! I spent most of tonight boxing up things from 4 of the 6 sets of cabinets, need to go get bubble wrap for the mixing bowls & other dishes. These cabinets have held the same amount of weight for 16 years and then all of a sudden they rip out of the wall? Talk about something I NEVER thought would happen! This might completely finish any last attempt for me to have a baby. It's not cheep having to go to an RE! I set up a Go Fund Me site to try to raise money to fix the cabinets. I'll need a professional to do it, I can't even lift them because they are so heavy even empty.