42, single, 4 wks pregnant scared

[violetzombie]

Hi all. I'm am 42 and find myself pregnant. 4 w 3d I have been seeing this guy for 4 months. I have bbt for 18 months. My cycles are clockwork. He had super sperm as it hung out for 3 days waiting for my eggy and yes I know sperm can live up to 3 days(unusual though)! I knew ovulation was close but I was not in my fertile window. No eggwhite and cervix closed. I've accepted that I'm pregnant (wow I'm pregnant! ) he broke up with me the same day i found out i was pregnant, while i was waiting for the results! Ironic huh?! I text him said ok. I'm at Dr's he said are you ok? I told him i'll know in a few! lol I told him last night, 24 hrs after I found out. He said don't have it. You'll ruin my life and family. I cant afford another kid.It's a mistake. He has 4 kids and divorced. He said if i have it, he doesn't want anything to do with it. He's very angry at me. I understand being angry but really! I'm 42 single and have a 16 yr old. Like this doesn't change my life! So I'm looking for support in all areas. I don't want to be guilted into something I really don't want to. I'm terrified of what lies ahead for me physically and financially. I want to enjoy this since at my age it probably won't happen again. Due June 21 2015 if I can get through.

 

[vkj73]

didn't want to read and run.

i hope you find peace in whatever you decide.

i'm 41, so i can relate to the age factor. this will most likely be it for us.

good luck to you

 

[tulip1975]

I feel for you! You are almost done with raising kids - this must be shocking. The good news is that you can do what's best for you and don't need to feel obligated to him or his feelings after he ran the second he found out you could be pregnant.

My husband did some fertility analytical research while we were struggling with infertility, and he found that the best time to have sex is two days before ovulation. So 3 days doesn't surprise me in the least.

Good luck to you!

 

[Christinee]

The spermy hung around for 5 days for me!! Some of them are determined aren't they. lol

I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you.

 

[robertsv]

Hi,
I can only imagine what you are going through. I'm 44 with a surprise pregnancy but I have the support of my dh. My oldest is 17. I hope everything works out for you and that you don't feel pressured to do anything that you don't want to do. Best wishes to you.

 

[teamandy]

Sorry to hear about your situation

When you have your child, you will thank yourself for sticking to what you want which is to have this baby.

Best of luck to you.

 

[40isnotold]

Good luck! At 40, I decided I wanted to try to have a child on my own and went to a fertility specialist for IUI. Three tries later and I'm pregnant. Five weeks later (I'm 11 weeks tomorrow), I'm still in shock that I'm having twins. I'm excited but it is very scary knowing that I will be taking care of two babies on my own.

 

[Topanga053]

Sperm can actually live 3-5 days in the cervix (and some sources even claim they can live up to 7 days in the right conditions). So if you had sex three days before you were expecting to ovulate, then you WERE in your fertile window.

But you shouldn't feel guilty or feel pressured by your ex. He has four kids and it doesn't sound like you guys were using any other protection other than NFP, so he should have known what the risks are, especially since NFP is rarely practiced perfectly, so it generally has a lower success rate at preventing pregnancy than other birth control methods. My point is - he's a grown man and knows how babies are made, so he should man up and accept what's happening and be there to support you!

Best of luck.

 

[eblondie]

Hi. Just wondered how you were. Don't let his anger get to you.... it sounds as though he's angry with himself :-/

 

[Scout]

I found out I was pregnant with my first when I was 45, two months before turning 46. I didn't think I could have kids. I'm single too. It's hard and scary at times, but the love I have for my daughter more than makes up for any of that. She's been such a wonderful gift to my life. I wish all the best.

 

[hlynne]

I am really sorry for what you are going through. Sounds like you were dating a very selfish person. I don't know how any guy could act like that, no matter the situation. I will pray for you to make the best decision.

I am a christian and I believe that everything happens for a reason. This miracle is with you for a reason. You may not know now, and it may be very hard (I can only imagine), but one day you really might regret making a decision to end it. I'm not saying that is what you are thinking of doing, I don't have a clue. I just want you to know that it is a miracle, regardless.

Praying for you

 

[nflores77]

(hugs) read your story.. and hope you do what is best for you. Please update us and hope all is well.