5th baby

Thanks, I do feel better about it again this morning. It's just such a stupid question, I don't know anyone with 5 of the same who wouldn't have liked the opposite.

 

I think I've just become overwhelmed and that was the way it decided to come out. I saw my oldest friend on Friday and she spent the whole time talking about herself and when she did finally show an interest in me it was to ask of this baby was an oops and where I was planning to put him in a 3 bed house.

 

I swear all those old wives tales do more damage than good. And even if you don't go looking for them there's always someone there going "oh you fancy a cake do you? That's definitely a girl!"
I definitely took it way harder with ds4, it just seemed impossible that I could have 4 boys, my pregnancy had been completely different from the first 3 and all the old wives tales said girl.
It is the knowing that it's not ever going to happen now that's the hard bit.

 

Hi everyone, it's been a few months since I posted in here.
So Reuben arrived 11 days past his due date, on April 26th. He weight 8lb 12, and he's amazing.
My labour was different from anything I had previously experienced, it was way longer and harder, and ended with a forceps delivery. We had a hospital stay with no visitors allowed due to covid, and then I got a infection and ended up having to give up breastfeeding. I have days where I'm pretty sad about the whole thing, but I'm totally in love with him, as are his brothers.
We agreed before I was even pregnant that he was our last, then the traumatic birth had me adamant that there would be no more. He's not even 6 weeks yet and I'm actually considering another! I know DH won't agree so it doesn't matter really, he's definitely the last one either way, but I can't help thinking about it. I think the chance that the next one could be a girl is one aspect that's tempting me. The other part is that I feel like with the birth, the feeding and the current situation with this virus, my baby journey has ended on a sour note and it would be nice to have another go to do it "right"
Its also sad packing away his bits that he's outgrown but I think it'll always be like that.
I took the news he was a boy relatively well this time, even knowing he was our last, so I really shouldn't risk trying again and taking it badly when we have a 6th boy.

 

Thanks Bev, I don't think there's a single member in this section that isn't grateful for the children they do have. I wouldn't change mine for anything, and if I could switch the feeling off I totally would. No one wants to feel this way.

 

Thank you all for being so kind. Yes, babies really are a decision made with the heart rather than the head.
I do think at this point I would have to go in expecting a boy. We wouldn't start trying yet anyway so would have time to let my hormones settle and see how I feel, though I wouldn't want to leave it too long with getting older and my last baby taking so long to conceive. I do think it needs discussing though as I keep thinking about it.
Sander I'm sorry the sneak peek results weren't what you wanted, but congratulations on your baby. I can say that as much as I want a girl I wouldn't trade my boys and it's lovely watching the bond they have.
Last time I took the news of a boy quite well, especially considering we had done a mild sway and I had loads of girl guesses on the nub to begin with. In a gender swaying group no less. So I can only hope if we did go again then I'd be just as prepared.

 

I really really hate GD. It's made me hate people who have done nothing at all to me. 2 friends recently had boys. I hate them because they already had girls. I mean, I wanted them to have boys as I thought it would be easier, but seeing their joy over their boys and knowing I don't have that because I wanted a girl is hard! I can't enjoy my baby, even though it took so long to have him, because all I can think about is what if I had had a girl. I'm trying SO hard to move past it but I'm just not getting anywhere. I look at his things, like his bouncy chair, and my brain shows me what it would have been like with a girl in it. We got out all the 3-6months clothes today and DH was going on about how it was great that I was all prepared with loads of clothes already rather than having to run out and buy some when he went up a size and all I could think was how it wasn't great at all. I wanted to have to go buy new things, I wanted to be buying girls things and instead I'm stuck with 14 year old vests that have been worn by all 4 of his brothers.
I'm doing my best to appreciate him but all I keep thinking is that with having had a miscarriage, and 3.5 year wait to fall pregnant and then going 11 days over due and having a hell of a time in labour and difficult recovery, the least I could have asked for for going through all that was to get the girl I wanted.
DH has messed me around with making me believe we could have another shot then changing his mind and I just feel like crying all the time. It's making everything so much harder than it needs to be because there's just such bitterness over everything