5th baby

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by motherofboys, Oct 27, 2019.

  1. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to my three musketeers

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    I’m glad you’ve found a outfit you like to bring baby home in ! I’m sure your feelings will change once you’ve recovered from your illness which can make us all feel crap and in a pretty shitty mood anyway !

    Your probably going to get those kinda comments for a while and I’d expect people to ask you even when baby is here because people an be so stupid and inconsiderate !
    Chin up you will have a beautiful baby soon , big hugs xx
     
  2. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    Thanks, I do feel better about it again this morning. It's just such a stupid question, I don't know anyone with 5 of the same who wouldn't have liked the opposite.
     
  3. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    I'm glad you're feeling better.

    It is a stupid question. People can be so insensitive :(
     
  4. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    I think I've just become overwhelmed and that was the way it decided to come out. I saw my oldest friend on Friday and she spent the whole time talking about herself and when she did finally show an interest in me it was to ask of this baby was an oops and where I was planning to put him in a 3 bed house.
     
  5. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    How annoying!!
     
  6. mrsmummy2

    mrsmummy2 Mum of 3 ❤

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    How rude!!!
     
  7. Abii

    Abii Step Mommy & Mommy to 4 sweet girls♡

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    I realize I found this thread a little late however I understand your feelings and felt compelled to let you know that you are definitely not alone. My situation is a little bit of the opposite, I have 3 daughters and I am due with my 4th, but I have always wanted a son and the realization that I might not ever get to experience that is rough. I 100% thought she was a boy too up until her anatomy scan, even all the wives tales said she was a boy. Hang in there mama! I'm glad you're doing/feeling better, his name is adorable!
     
  8. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    I swear all those old wives tales do more damage than good. And even if you don't go looking for them there's always someone there going "oh you fancy a cake do you? That's definitely a girl!"
    I definitely took it way harder with ds4, it just seemed impossible that I could have 4 boys, my pregnancy had been completely different from the first 3 and all the old wives tales said girl.
    It is the knowing that it's not ever going to happen now that's the hard bit.
     
  9. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    Hi everyone, it's been a few months since I posted in here.
    So Reuben arrived 11 days past his due date, on April 26th. He weight 8lb 12, and he's amazing.
    My labour was different from anything I had previously experienced, it was way longer and harder, and ended with a forceps delivery. We had a hospital stay with no visitors allowed due to covid, and then I got a infection and ended up having to give up breastfeeding. I have days where I'm pretty sad about the whole thing, but I'm totally in love with him, as are his brothers.
    We agreed before I was even pregnant that he was our last, then the traumatic birth had me adamant that there would be no more. He's not even 6 weeks yet and I'm actually considering another! I know DH won't agree so it doesn't matter really, he's definitely the last one either way, but I can't help thinking about it. I think the chance that the next one could be a girl is one aspect that's tempting me. The other part is that I feel like with the birth, the feeding and the current situation with this virus, my baby journey has ended on a sour note and it would be nice to have another go to do it "right"
    Its also sad packing away his bits that he's outgrown but I think it'll always be like that.
    I took the news he was a boy relatively well this time, even knowing he was our last, so I really shouldn't risk trying again and taking it badly when we have a 6th boy.
     
  10. Katherinep

    Katherinep Member

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    Well look at the bright side atleast you have got children. There are many people out there who can't even conceive and having a hard time adopting too. So If i were you i would be happy with what i have got.
     
  11. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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  12. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Rude and unsupportive.
    Gender disappointment is a sensitive topic and we believe many of our members feel lonely with nowhere to talk, fearing the reaction within other sections on BabyandBump ... now they have somewhere to talk and unsupportive comments are not appreciated nor tolerated in this section.

    Anyone found not to be using the forum for support will have their permissions reversed and may also be issued a penalty on their account.
     
  13. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    Thanks Bev, I don't think there's a single member in this section that isn't grateful for the children they do have. I wouldn't change mine for anything, and if I could switch the feeling off I totally would. No one wants to feel this way.
     
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  14. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Exactly hun. Doesn't mean your children are any less loved at all :hugs:<3
     
    motherofboys likes this.
  15. mrsmummy2

    mrsmummy2 Mum of 3 ❤

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    Wow.... how rude.
     
  16. MrsKatie

    MrsKatie Well-Known Member

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    Obviously this is why she’s posted in an entirely different section devoted to this exact topic... gratitude has nothing to do with it.

    Congratulations on your newest addition. My husband is one of all boys and their bond of brotherhood is inspiring. I get that it’s easy to talk yourself out of trying for number 6, but At the same time the mind is a poor influencer over the heart. Despite the “risk” of a 6th boy or experiencing more disappointment, I say listen to your heart. Then worry about convincing DH;)
     
    motherofboys likes this.
  17. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun sorry for the rude comment!!! We just got our SneakPeek results back and found out we are having our 3rd boy, it’s hard to come to terms with not having a girl as this is our last baby. Actually I feel the same way like should we try again? But then I feel like I’d be likely for another boy and to be honest I don’t think we want 4 children either way, just because of our housing situation and the fact that I don’t think I can handle it mentally, lol.

    If you guys can handle another I’d say go for it, but I would go into it expecting another boy. It’s a grieving process for sure, especially when you see others who get a mix of genders. I think you’re done when you know you’re done. Give it some time, pp hormones are still raging. If in 6 months you still want to then go for it! I’ll be the first to wish you some girl dust :)
     
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  18. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    Thank you all for being so kind. Yes, babies really are a decision made with the heart rather than the head.
    I do think at this point I would have to go in expecting a boy. We wouldn't start trying yet anyway so would have time to let my hormones settle and see how I feel, though I wouldn't want to leave it too long with getting older and my last baby taking so long to conceive. I do think it needs discussing though as I keep thinking about it.
    Sander I'm sorry the sneak peek results weren't what you wanted, but congratulations on your baby. I can say that as much as I want a girl I wouldn't trade my boys and it's lovely watching the bond they have.
    Last time I took the news of a boy quite well, especially considering we had done a mild sway and I had loads of girl guesses on the nub to begin with. In a gender swaying group no less. So I can only hope if we did go again then I'd be just as prepared.
     
  19. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    I really really hate GD. It's made me hate people who have done nothing at all to me. 2 friends recently had boys. I hate them because they already had girls. I mean, I wanted them to have boys as I thought it would be easier, but seeing their joy over their boys and knowing I don't have that because I wanted a girl is hard! I can't enjoy my baby, even though it took so long to have him, because all I can think about is what if I had had a girl. I'm trying SO hard to move past it but I'm just not getting anywhere. I look at his things, like his bouncy chair, and my brain shows me what it would have been like with a girl in it. We got out all the 3-6months clothes today and DH was going on about how it was great that I was all prepared with loads of clothes already rather than having to run out and buy some when he went up a size and all I could think was how it wasn't great at all. I wanted to have to go buy new things, I wanted to be buying girls things and instead I'm stuck with 14 year old vests that have been worn by all 4 of his brothers.
    I'm doing my best to appreciate him but all I keep thinking is that with having had a miscarriage, and 3.5 year wait to fall pregnant and then going 11 days over due and having a hell of a time in labour and difficult recovery, the least I could have asked for for going through all that was to get the girl I wanted.
    DH has messed me around with making me believe we could have another shot then changing his mind and I just feel like crying all the time. It's making everything so much harder than it needs to be because there's just such bitterness over everything
     
  20. Flueky88

    Flueky88 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry your DH is messing with your emotions. It's such a big decision and it's one made from the heart (well I think for most women), my DH was like this about a 3rd to me and it was hard. We ended up having an unexpected blessing though. I had gender disappointment with my 2nd, but with my 3rd I was fully prepared and expecting a 3rd girl. It was much easier and I felt excitement at the ultrasound. We are done and there are times I'm sad I won't have a little boy but I try to remind myself that I have my nephews to love and my girls are amazing. With all of that said, don't feel guilty for having gender disappointment, it's normal to feel that way. I hope your DH comes around and quits messing with your emotions
     
    motherofboys likes this.

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