5th baby

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by motherofboys, Oct 27, 2019.

  1. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    I get that way too - like even if a friend has a boy, if they already have a girl somehow it’s worse because I’m like they get to experience both and I don’t. My friend recently had a 2nd girl and somehow that was better because I was thinking oh well they won’t get to experience a boy then. It’s kind of messed up but I think it’s human nature :-#
     
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  2. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    I don't want it to sound like I don't love him when I say I can't enjoy him, I do love him, but when he's really crying and won't settle, I just feel like it would be easier to deal with that if he was a girl because I would at least have the joy of a girl to balance things out. Or dressing him should be fun picking out all his clothes but it's just the same as usual. I wouldn't swap him now but I just need a girl so much, as well as him.
    I did SO well through pregnancy and only had a few down days. I was excited and everything. But now the reality that I'm not going to have a girl has hit, and it's been made worse by getting my hopes up for another. I didn't even bring it up. I said I needed to get rid of the smaller clothes and he asked if I was saving them for the next one. Out of nowhere he asked if I had names picked out for the next one. The doctor prescribed the pill at our 6 week check and DH told me not to take it. Then he sat there a few days ago and said "if I could chose I would chose a pink one but it isn't possible" and I thought he meant it isn't possible to choose, but he followed it up with "We just don't have the room so can't have any more."
     
  3. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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  4. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    He's taken ds2 to football and I text him basically explaining how I feel because I ended up crying again before he left, I have been able to hide it for the most part. Anyway, all he said was he's sorry I feel this way and wishes he had the right words to make me feel better. I sent him an essay and that was what I got back. Anyway it doesn't seem like there's another baby on the cards after all.
     
  5. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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  6. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    I don't feel done having babies anyway, and the fact that we don't have a girl just gives me even more incentive to keep going but he doesn't feel the same obviously. It was him being convinced that every baby was a girl that first made me feel any disappointment that we didn't have one in the first place.
     
  7. wanna_baby

    wanna_baby Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry you are having a hard time... I remember responding to the earlier msgs of this thread... I just had my baby a week ago.. just wanted to let you know that wanting another could be a post partum hormones thing because even this 3rd baby, we had after being done with 2 and a long discussion.... But I already feel like I am going to miss this baby stage and do I want another.... I know in reality I don’t and we are absolutely done with 3.... but I think it’s just the hormones surging all over the place...

    So I would say think about it in a couple of more months... and expect the next one to be a boy. If you think you would want 6 boys, then I think you have your answer.... you trying for another in the hopes of a girl will only build up to more disappointments and you feeling worse and maybe trying for 7th...

    I can understand how hard it will be for you but enjoy your baby during these precious moments as they really do grow up so fast... hope you can come to terms with it... if you are still struggling, consider speaking to a professional about the gender disappointments... Gluck hun!!
     
  8. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    I'm trying, I really am. And I do love him and get you from things like his laugh. But then I change his clothes and as much as I fight it I can't help thinking about what it would be like dressing a girl.
    I would quite happily have more. At one point I wanted 8, I could have seen myself with 10 even, but we agreed we'd have 6. Then that changed to 5, on DH say so rather than mine, I agreed to keep him happy. The fact we don't have a girl just makes it so much harder to call it a day. And it's down to him that I even thought about it. I wanted boys, but he kept saying that each one was a girl, and I felt disappointed for him to begin with.
    I'm aware I could have a 6th boy, but it doesn't put me off.
     
  9. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    He's only bloody gone and agreed to try again! We had another chat about pros and cons, and he agreed.
    I wouldn't put it past him to change his mind if things get particularly rough with the boys, but as of last night we are TTC.
    Considering my last two successful pregnancies took years to achieve I'm not overly confident it'll happen at all. But I have to take the chance.
     
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  10. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Yay! Good luck :)
     
  11. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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  12. mrsmummy2

    mrsmummy2 Mum of 3 ❤

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  13. MrsKatie

    MrsKatie Well-Known Member

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    Omg yay!!!!
     
  14. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    Apparently one of the things putting him off was that we had a difficult birth last time which I can understand. If you had told me immediately afterwards that I would want another I would have said you were mad. He was surprised I wanted to try so soon once he had agreed to trying again but time isn't on our side so might as well get on with it
     
  15. Cewsbaby

    Cewsbaby Mom of 2 boys! Hoping for a 3rd

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    Oh my goodness! Good luck ttc! I hope it won't take too long and you finally have your little girl!

    I had to take some time off B&B because my SIL got pregnant and had a girl (she wanted all boys) and I got pregnant and had an early loss. It hit me so hard when she had her little girl that I honestly had to go hid in my closet and fall apart.
     
  16. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    I'm so sorry to hear that, that's such a horrible situation when someone who has openly said they would rather have a boy gets a girl. And an early loss is still a loss. The moment those lines appear on the test you practically map out your whole future with another child.
    I hope that your being back here means you're feeling a little better. I don't blame you for hiding at all.

    As for me, I think I'm due on at any point before Wednesday. Before ds4 and ds5 I had short LPs and would only go 9/10 days after ovulation before I had a period. I've only had one period since ds5 was born so I'm not sure if I'm back to a normal 14 day LP or back to a short LP. I *think* I had ovulation signs on the 8th, which if I did would put me due on between the 17th and 22nd. I've had a few cramps and instances where I've thought I had started over the last couple of days so I'm sure it's on its way, just a matter of waiting and seeing what my new normal is.
     
  17. Cewsbaby

    Cewsbaby Mom of 2 boys! Hoping for a 3rd

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    I am feeling better. I am actually in the 2WW at the moment. Im really keeping my fingers crossed for you!
     
  18. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    Good luck to you too, hopefully we will both be in the pregnancy forums soon.
     
  19. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    Just wanted to say we finally had our official gender scan on Friday and when I saw the little penis I instantly thought - maybe we could do 4 babies...

    I hope you get your girl this time!
     
  20. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 5 boys

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    How are you feeling about a 3rd boy Sander?
     

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