6 DPO...& ...POAS until positive!

[barbikins]

Natalie, I am truly sorry for your loss.
That's just so incredibly unfair & you shouldn't be with out your mom yet. It's too soon.
Meg said the right words.
You just have to take it one day at a time & for now, one hour at a time. My heart goes out to you. xo

 

[natjenson]

Oh my gawsh Natalie that is just so sad...I'm soo soo sorry for your loss...like the other ladies are saying it's so unfair and she was soo young too.
You take one day at a time love ok.
And yes we are here for you love

Words won't make anything feel better right now but I hope our messages bring you some comfort .im so sorry Natalie.

Natalie xoxo

 

[mommaplus05]

Natalie..I am sooo sorry..this is so tough and I hurt for u right now..truly tragic...but now ur mom is free to fly with the angels honey and has no more pain...hang in there and remember to take a step back and take a deep breathe sweetie. Rest ur mind during the toughest moments..ill b prayin for ya

 

[natjenson]

Oh Natalie I can't stop thinking about your awful news ...do you have any support around you right now?....Natalie there are organisations out there that will help with bereavement during pregnancy love..li just wanted to point that out...
I am worried for you Hun.
I am just so sorry about what has happend love to lose a parent is truly difficult and heart breaking but you being so young and pregnant aswell must be even tougher.
Know that your mom loved you with all of her heart and she will want you to be happy.yes that is a difficult emotion to feel right now but all moms(you will understand this when as soon as you give birth) just want their children to be happy strong and survive this world.
I bet she was very proud of you nat.i know that atleast I am bc you have been such a great lovely caring support for her.a good daughter you are ok.
You take it easy love and we are always here for you ok.


Natalie xxx

 

[crazy84]

Natalie I am so sorry and my heart hurts for you! I will be thinking about you! You hang in there.....I seriously can't even imagine. We are all here for you...even if it's just over the internet. I am sorry

 

[Sis4Us]

So so Sorry for Your Loss!!!!

 

[Nataliieexo]

Thank you all for your kind words i am heartbroken, i dont know what i'm going to do, i dont understand yesterday she felt a little under the weather and was in more pain, and this morning at 7.10 my aunty woke me up saying my gran had been rang and told she was very poorly and in the space of 20 mins it took my gran to get there she had already passed away, last night the doctors discovered she had pneumonia a nurse sat with her all night but we were not notified until this morning which i think is disgusting if we had of knew we would have been there, they said she deteriorated so quick. The doctors decided she could not go on life support again and told her she had to fight this one herself because they were 100%sure she wouldn't survive life support again, she lost her fight either way :'( i knew it, as soon as they said she had a broken hip i knew it had risks of you getting pneumonia but i just saw her doing ok and thought it wouldn't happen. I found out by my aunty on the phone but i just knew when she phoned me that she was gone i had to tell my dad and between me, him and my 15 year old sister it was just devastation. We went in this morning i got such a shock when i see her i could barely stand she looked different already, i just talked to her and kissed her loads, i hated leaving her. I cant accept that i will never see her again or hear her voice. The nurse who was with her al night said she was laughing and joking on and talking about us all night :'( she would have been so scared, she cried to me and my gran last week that she was scared of dying and leaving us and she was scared of how she was going to cope without us, and not one of us was with her at the end. I cant stop crying it hurts so badly i wish i could wake up and it be a nightmare. I knew it was going to happen but i never ever thought it would happen so soon and iff a broken hip. I just dont know if i can do it without her i miss her so much already.

And to top things off i was leaning to get a hug off my aunty today and i felt this really painful ripping pain in my lower stomach and its been sore and my back ever since and now i'm spotting. I cant lose my baby aswell :'(

 

[Petzy]

Thank you all for your kind words i am heartbroken, i dont know what i'm going to do, i dont understand yesterday she felt a little under the weather and was in more pain, and this morning at 7.10 my aunty woke me up saying my gran had been rang and told she was very poorly and in the space of 20 mins it took my gran to get there she had already passed away, last night the doctors discovered she had pneumonia a nurse sat with her all night but we were not notified until this morning which i think is disgusting if we had of knew we would have been there, they said she deteriorated so quick. The doctors decided she could not go on life support again and told her she had to fight this one herself because they were 100%sure she wouldn't survive life support again, she lost her fight either way :'( i knew it, as soon as they said she had a broken hip i knew it had risks of you getting pneumonia but i just saw her doing ok and thought it wouldn't happen. I found out by my aunty on the phone but i just knew when she phoned me that she was gone i had to tell my dad and between me, him and my 15 year old sister it was just devastation. We went in this morning i got such a shock when i see her i could barely stand she looked different already, i just talked to her and kissed her loads, i hated leaving her. I cant accept that i will never see her again or hear her voice. The nurse who was with her al night said she was laughing and joking on and talking about us all night :'( she would have been so scared, she cried to me and my gran last week that she was scared of dying and leaving us and she was scared of how she was going to cope without us, and not one of us was with her at the end. I cant stop crying it hurts so badly i wish i could wake up and it be a nightmare. I knew it was going to happen but i never ever thought it would happen so soon and iff a broken hip. I just dont know if i can do it without her i miss her so much already.

And to top things off i was leaning to get a hug off my aunty today and i felt this really painful ripping pain in my lower stomach and its been sore and my back ever since and now i'm spotting. I cant lose my baby aswell :'(

Natalie, I am glad you shared that with us. It will help a little to get things off your chest. I am so sorry that you are going through this. One thing you need to remember is that your mom loved you so much and the care you have given her in recent times shows how much you loved her back. She knew your love for her in her last moments which is something you can be confident in. I am so terribly sorry for your family, including your Dad, Sister, Grandmother, and Aunt. Your grandmother should not have to experience losing a child... truly heartbreaking. I am so sorry for this Natalie. All I can say, is allow yourself to feel this grief because it is important to this process.. think about your mum and how much she meant to you, and how much you loved eachother. I am sure you have learned a lot from her that you will give to your own children. I just wish we could all hug you right now..

As for the pain you are in, I know you are going through a lot, but perhaps a visit to the EPU to ensure all is ok would make you feel better? I hope the spotting is nothing more than what you have already had. Let us know how you do Natalie...

Thinking of you all day xx

 

[barbikins]

Natalie,
Meg said all the right words. I don't think I could say it better.
I do know what that pain is like. The pain your heart literarily feels.
The feeling like you just can't go on to tomorrow & all you want to do every morning will be to wake up and it have been a nightmare.
You will get through those days & the pain will lessen over time. You just have to go through the emotions, unfortunately, one day at a time.

Big hug to you.
xo

 

[natjenson]

Barbs meg I couldn't have said it better either...meg those word very wise words and very caring...

Natalie- I also think that was good to get all of that off your chest love.
I am so sorry for your loss.

On a personal level nat meg is right...please phone the epu tmr (if you haven't already) and get you and baby checked out.
I'm sure they will be very helpful and sympathetic to your situation aswell.they should be only too happy to see if baby is doing ok.

Nat I am worried for you...please don't be alone tonight...take the comfort from oh and family...and cry as much as you need to ok...it's the grieving process and there's a long road ahead of you...we ARE all here for you nat and I am sending a big warm hug Alll the way to newy to you.
My condolences to your family too...
Nat if you get a moment (it helps) place your hand on your baby and breath through your nose and out through your mouth a few times...it will help you to re center yourself if it all gets too much...

Please keep in touch love ...we are worried and sad for you.

Natalie xoxoxoxoxo

 

[natjenson]

Nat hope your ok love

xxx

 

[Nataliieexo]

Thank you i'm feeling so lost atm keep crying on and off, thinking about her, i rang up to speak to the nurses that sat with her all night they said she just went to sleep, just like that, i cant decide if i;m comforted or not because i didnt want her to go to sleep and to make things worse today is 4 years exactly for one of my very good friends she was 19 when she passed away she was very poorly like my mam and a infection also killed her my mam died at 7.25 were as she died 9.40 same date four years apart :'( i cant hack this i really cant i dont feel like i can do it without her she wasnt supposed to go yet especially without saying goodbye, i'm to scared to go to sleep i dont know why xxx

 

[OurLilFlu]

Natalie, I can't imagine how difficult this day must be for you...Hope you can get some rest. Everyone has said such touching words, I have no advice or experience to share but I'm glad you shared your thoughts with us to unload. You do need to take the time to grieve and I also agree with checking things out with baby, it'll refocus on some positivity in this dark time. So sorry again for your loss...

 

[Nataliieexo]

Im not able to sleep im to scared i dont know why but even going downstairs to pee while everyone is asleep was a panic, i dont like it here of course i asked oh for some space and now i wish he was here i felt ok til everyone went to bed :/

 

[OurLilFlu]

Give oh a call I'm sure he'll be there in a heartbeat. Stay strong love. There's nothin to be afraid of, your emotions will get the best of you if you face them alone. If oh can't come for some reason, wake someone up, they can help you through the night.

 

[natjenson]

Natalie love...how are you this morning? Did you ring epu?...are you ok?
Hope your alright

Nat xxx

 

[Nataliieexo]

I managed to get some sleep with the light and tv on, i feel so numb today, i havent cried today yet...not sure if thats normal, i havent moved out of bed, i have however found my babys heartbeat this morning it was 158bpm but i felt a tiny bit of excitement i am upset i found it now because i was suppost to be sharing that moment with my mam so everything i do at the moment is just...i dont know not bringing the me the excitetment it should, i am relieved i found it though xx

 

[OurLilFlu]

Congratulations on finding the HB! That's a nice and relieving feeling but like you said it's hard to be excited when you think about how you should have been sharing the milestone with your mom. And you're definitely right for feeling that way, she was taken too soon and everything has changed. Just know that she is celebrating that little baby even though she's not here. She still shares those moments. I know it won't ever feel the same nonetheless.

Glad you got some rest, you need it, I'm sure you're just drained. We're all thinking of you constantly!

 

[Petzy]

Natalie you are a brave strong woman. Keep taking one day at a time, one step at a time. One foot in front of the other is the best you can do. No one can or should expect anything more right now. Lean on those who can comfort you, let DH be there for you I am sure he wants to be. I'm glad you found the baby on the Doppler..some joy in the pain you are feeling. Rest when you can, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling xx

 

[Nataliieexo]

Thank you for the kind words its hard, very hard, and i know its going to get harder next week when we have to sort out her credit cards etc arrange the funeral, make it to the funeral, i dread the funeral really really dread it, i know ive been to funerals before but the idea of them burning her body, ahhh no i cant even imagine what its going to be like, i might leave before that part, i dont think i could sit and watch the curtains close around the coffin as its sent down to the burning area, no i wont be able to do that xx