A group for TTC#1 and had more than one loss?

[marieh2008]

Hey Lexi your tww is going so quickly hope its your bfp this month fingers crossed!!!

my OH isnt co-operating at all this month. I asked him before taking clomid again this month if he wanted me to take them because we could have a break if it was getting too much and he said no i will be willing i know what i have to do and i promise you i will co-operate...he is doing the exact opposite. He said he doesnt want to try anymore and he wants a long break! after i took clomid suffered from these hot flushes and have been wasting money on opks and lube and softcups im so mad right now i cant even see straight! i just feel so deflated i havent even pressured him have been giving him space with his friends and just time to do what he wants and let him take the initiative to bd and it still hasnt worked! im so annoyed i just give up with this whole thing...

What ever turn he on do it is what i say. Men dont like hard work i dont think, they just a quick job done don't work like that guys. Good luck

 

[marieh2008]

Just to let you all know AF came this morning and im sad im not pregnant but for an hour i thought oh no what if i my period stop. When we were ttc before they stopped for a year with no reason so I would as much as we don't like AF we have to remember that some of us need her so that we can ovulate for the next month and at least have a chance. I have been ttc for a very long time and only now have I releaised that AF isn't always our enemy its also our ali in the ttc world.

 

[patiently]

Ladies i have another day of positive opks??? yesterdays was the darkest then by this morning it was lighter...then this afternoon its darker again?? what is going on? is this normal. I should've just stuck with the clearblue digi's...i havent had a temperature rise yet so i know i havent ovulated just yet...

 

[lexi374]

Ayc sorry havent used the monitor myself but from what ive read it is common not to get a peak the 1st cycle because its still getting to know your cycle, so you may just get lots of highs this time.

Patiently sorry oh isnt co-operating, thats lame of him after he promised aswell, he needs to be honest with you. As for the positive opks i think sometimes your body can gear up to ov, so you get a positive but it doesnt actually get there, so you can have a few positive through out the cycle. Try if dh is happy to, carry on bd until you can see a def temp rise.

Marie sorry af came

Afm am not loving this weather when is it summer?!?

My friend had a scan today shes 9 weeks am very pleased everything looks good this time..... but cant help feeling so sad and fed up for myself!
I feel really bad saying that, but i do sometimes feel that we are never gonna get there! In 4 months time it will be 4 years! since i came off depo and here i am still nothing to show for it!! Think im just having a bit of a pity party today sorry.

to all x

 

[marieh2008]

Ayc sorry havent used the monitor myself but from what ive read it is common not to get a peak the 1st cycle because its still getting to know your cycle, so you may just get lots of highs this time.

Patiently sorry oh isnt co-operating, thats lame of him after he promised aswell, he needs to be honest with you. As for the positive opks i think sometimes your body can gear up to ov, so you get a positive but it doesnt actually get there, so you can have a few positive through out the cycle. Try if dh is happy to, carry on bd until you can see a def temp rise.

Marie sorry af came

Afm am not loving this weather when is it summer?!?

My friend had a scan today shes 9 weeks am very pleased everything looks good this time..... but cant help feeling so sad and fed up for myself!
I feel really bad saying that, but i do sometimes feel that we are never gonna get there! In 4 months time it will be 4 years! since i came off depo and here i am still nothing to show for it!! Think im just having a bit of a pity party today sorry.

to all x

Hi thanks im too but like i said before we just get some more fun next month and we get to enjoy being us for while coz its been a while.

 

[NewToAllThis]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I'm a bit lax in updating - I do come in and read but not always the time to write.
Glad to see all the preggo's are doing well and sorry to those who have had AF, but at the moment I would give anything for AF after 4 bloody months!!
Got scan on 21st to see what the heck is going on in there. I think if I go any longer, I may explode and that won't be pretty

Lexi - 4 years, that's sad - we have been TTC for 2 and a half so I can understand some of what you are feeling. Ayclobes, I think we have been TTC for about the same time.

 

[patiently]

NTAT i really hope AF shows soon i really do four months is a long time it must be so frustrating...

Lexi im so sorry your having a bad day hun...sometimes those negative thoughts come rushing back when you thought they left. I know exactly what you mean about feeling sad for yourself and happy for your friend because thats exactly how i feel with my sister. I've been trying for almost two years and i find that so hard to absorb so i have to say you are such a brave and inspirational woman who WILL have her baby because you deserve it! Sometimes I think that the more challenges we face the greater the reward in the end. You never know in a years time we could be discussing parenting advice or complaining about lack of sleep instead of ttc...I hope you get your deserving bfp this month..how many dpo are you now? FXed for you...and this weather is getting on my nerves too...so cold and i dont like the snow...yes its pretty but its not practical.

Marieh2008 im sorry AF came...but you know you are so right when it comes to AF because although when she arrives it means we aren't pregnant it does mean we have another shot the following month so i am thankful for that...and you just have to wait a few weeks and you will be back in the race again GL for next months bfp!

AFM i know i havent ovulated and i probably won't until really late if it all. I think all the stress of my OH not co-operating with me has delayed Ovulation so will try and bd as much as possible but not too hopeful at the moment...I ovulated on 50mg of clomid so maybe i should've stuck to that...well we'll see

Hi to everyone else

 

[patiently]

wow im actually surprised ff has detected ovulation...im not too convinced but it puts me at 3dpo...still not hopeful but we'll see

 

[marieh2008]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I'm a bit lax in updating - I do come in and read but not always the time to write.
Glad to see all the preggo's are doing well and sorry to those who have had AF, but at the moment I would give anything for AF after 4 bloody months!!
Got scan on 21st to see what the heck is going on in there. I think if I go any longer, I may explode and that won't be pretty

Lexi - 4 years, that's sad - we have been TTC for 2 and a half so I can understand some of what you are feeling. Ayclobes, I think we have been TTC for about the same time.

Can I just ask do you take any supplements to help regulate your cycle? I take a few and really helps me.

 

[marieh2008]

Just wanted to ask to what you ladies think of this. Im considering periodic testing once every 3 or 4 months because I can't put myself through that every month. I lost my son at 23 weeks plus 5 days I drove myself crazy with all the testing to conceive him and we missed out on the romance and we became distant in that respect. Now were stronger than ever and do not want it to turn into a chore. I have a rough idea when im ovulating but I am going to do the sticks without him knowing he hated that. Is this a bad idea does that mean it will be harder to concieve I have pcos as it is.

 

[lexi374]

Marie i think the relaxed approach is a great idea, i need to do that myself, easier said than done though eh?! As long as you are having regular bd you should be fine.

Patiently thanks hun, good luck for you this cycle

Ntat glad you got the scan sorted

Afm tested with ic, BFN blah was sure i was out anyway, will test again tom to make sure and then stop the progesterone. Will be glad to stop that its made me very moody and tired x

 

[Ladyfog]

Hi guys, just popping in with some and

NTAT - not long until you scan now. Hope you get some answers. You've been very strong in all this an I hope everything gets back on track soon for you.

Lexi - sorry the progesterone has made you feel crappy. How many DPO are you? It may be still early, but if AF arrives, hope she's kind this month.

Patiently - just BD as much as OH allows Did you get any in before FF said you ovulated? Good luck

Marie - I think everyone has to do what's right for them. I'm lucky that it's never taken me long to get pregnant but I can understand the danger of getting obsessed if it takes a while. There is nothing wring with just enjoying each other and having a much sex as you can - think of all the people that get pregnant by accident! If you know roughly the right time, I guess you could book some romantic dates up for around that time to get you both in the mood. DH doesn't have to know about the timing does he? I'd find it really hard not to test, but if you have the willpower to put it out of your mind then it can't hurt.

AFM, scan on Monday. This week at work has been crazy busy so it's gone really quickly! Trying to book a holiday away at the moment. we're meant to be going with my friend and her OH, but thy won't agree to any dates! I've got quite a limited window of opportunity now so I hope we get it organised soon. I'd like to have one last couples trip somewhere sunny.

 

[patiently]

Lady yes we did we bd two days before o day and the day of o day according to ff...should i still bd even though ff has confirmed ovulation...also i am having mild cramping on and off throughout the day...

 

[BeachChica]

Hey girls! Hope you are all doing well!! Sorry I haven't been around. I am just so worn out about all of this TTC!!

I heard back from my doctor yesterday and the tissue from my 4th MC could not be tested. I think someone screwed up but they are not telling me that. I am so furious because after 4 MC I only have tissue testing for 1 to go on!!! The OB then proceeds to tell me that she thinks I should try IVF next time so that they can test for chromosomal problems before its implanted. I am pretty sure that IVF is pretty expensive and seems a little extreme to me when only 1 tissue test shows a chromosomal problem, the other MC's could have been something else. In addition, all of my (and DH's) recurring MC testing has come back normal. I don't know what do you girls think?
I need to make an appt to talk to my specialist to see what he thinks about all of this.

 

[patiently]

Beach glad to have you back...we missed you! sorry that they didnt do any testing this time also...it must be so frustrating. I dont see how they can come to the conclusion that it is a cromosomal issue when they've only tested tissue once...I think maybe you should get a second opinion...and all your recurrent tests came back normal so maybe your mc's were sadly just bad luck and your next one will be successful... x

Lexi you're not out yet not until AF shows and hopefully she doesnt! FXed for you x

 

[FloridaGirl21]

patiently, I see you've had another day of positive OPKs today? How confusing

 

[wookie130]

Hey, do you mind if I join in here?

I'm Holly (you all can call me Wookie), I'm 33 years old, and currently going through my second miscarriage as we speak. I had a mmc that was discovered on July 18th last year at 10 weeks (the baby didn't make it beyond 6, apparently), and a D&C the same day. It took us 6 cycles to conceive again, when we got our 2nd BFP last Thursday. Got betas done on Friday and Sunday, and Monday the results showed my hcg was 55, and dropped down to 21...so a miscarriage was impending. Well, Wednesday it started, and I'm still going through it, although naturally this time.

We are going to wait one cycle, then try again. This last bfp was obtained through the use of Clomid, as my progesterone was a bit low, and I needed to ovulate a bit more strongly. Well, it worked, as we did get pregnant. Once my AF returns, we're going to do 2 or 3 natural cycles before hopping aboard the Clomid train again.

I am quite frustrated by the prospect of this happening a 3rd time before my docs will do any testing...I've asked twice, and they're pretty adamant about it. I think it's heartbreaking and ridiculous. I mean, how great of a chance can I have of carrying the 3rd to term, since I've already had 2 mc's in the past 7 months??? Ridiculous!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening, and don't mind if I join all of you!

 

[patiently]

Florida...I know its really confusing...but this afternoon i think the test line was getting lighter...i have been having AF cramping though and I thought that was weird since i never get that until after Ovulation...but im experiencing that right now...my OH doesnt want to bd any more this week though so if i am yet to ovulate im defo out this cycle...i have no cm either...hmmm really confusing...will check my temp tomorrow and see where it stands...how are things with you still got bad ms? hope you're feeling well...

Wookie welcome! we are glad to have you here! its such a pain that they wont offer any testing until after 3 mc's like the first one wasnt bad enough you have to experience that twice more just to be taken seriously. Really frustrating isnt it...was you put on progesterone for your last bfp? hope you ind this thread to be as supportive and comforting as i have x

 

[BeachChica]

Thanks patiently!
I am definitely going for a second opinion. The IVF suggestion was by a normal OB (who I only saw for the D&C) so I definitely need to speak to the specialist who was doing all the testing. He said after all my testing that he really feels that this has all been just bad luck for me. There is nothing in my testing that would show any reason for us not to have a normal baby. I have an appt with him on March 1st so we'll see what he says. Seems like a long time away!
BTW - why does DH not want to BD any more this week? Doesn't he want a baby too? Men!!!!

Welcome wookie - I have no idea why they make you wait until #3 for testing but that happened to me too. I guess they feel like its pretty normal to have 2. I have now had 4 MC's in 13 months and while I have had the testing, I still don't have any answers.

 

[Ladyfog]

Patiently, I used to get cramps when I o'd so maybe that's the reason? As long as you BD's a day or so ago there' still a good chance, but why does OH not want to DB? It's not meant to be a chore!! FX for you this month

Hi Beach! Glad you're doing OK, but sorry the Dr is being a bit extreme! I think IVF would be a pretty extreme measure seeing all your testing has come back OK. And even if all you losses were due to dodgy chromosomes, they could have been different problems - as your specialist said, that would just make it bad luck. Are you starting to TTC again after the MC?

Welcome wookie . Sorry for your losses and hope you're not in too much pain. I'm proof that you can definitely have a healthy pregnancy after 2 losses (well, fingers crossed!) and you will meet others on this thread in the same boat so there's still hope. It's frustrating that they won't do detailed testing, but my GP did arrange any blood tests she could which put my mind at rest regarding anything simple to fix - maybe yours could do the same?