a rant: grrr why the snobbery about birth?!

[tinytoes]

It drives me nuts - all the snobbery over a natural brith being best, and a vaginal birth without painkillers beingthe ultimate.

I mean, we dont get any extra points for coping with pain? The babies arent much healthier and mroe likely to be geniuses?!
As the BBC said - you wouldnt consider having a tooth removed without drugs so why a baby?!

And WHY do certain women feel a c section is the devils work? That we're not real mothers or women until we've experienced true childbirth. I'm in no hurry to feel my perineum tear. I'm in no hurry to feel contractions as if I'm being squuezed by 56 sumo wrestlers. Or to force out a water melon.

There is always a slight snobbery or hoitey-toitey-ness about birth - that you're a better person if you undergo a natural childbirth. And you get extra bonus points fr a long labour and lack of drugs.

Well I for one would like to poo-poo that idea.
I think we're never failures - wether we choose c section or drugs coming out of our ears. For me as long as baby is out and healthy then that'll do me.

I could endure birth without any pain relief, but I dont believe I'd receive any medals for it. It wouldnt be added to my CV - "This lady has endured extreme pain so must be a super-MuM". It wont make me a better person, I wont suddenly become more popular or worldly wise. I wont be thanked by the child in years to come. My OH wont love me more. I wont be given a round of applause or be put at the top of a league table.

We're all creating a baby. Thats the main thing, not how we choose to bring it out into the world.
In the grand scheme of things the birth is a small factor.


I get quite wound up by the natural "hippy" mums who claim child birth is wonderful and magical. sorry but I dont get it. Receiving a baby in your arms is the magic as far as I can see. The rest is just a way to get it there.


so there, thats my tuesday rant...phew!

 

[Gabi]

Don't worry I hear ya!

I don't believe the method we choose for birth is any reflection on what kind of mom we're going to be.
Giving birth isn't being a parent it's a few hours at the beginning. Staying up with your child while they're sick, helping them with their homework, loving them each day, watching them grow. That's being a parent!

I don't listen to anyone who tries to tell me what I must do.
As for home birthing. Or birth without pain relief. If women want to do that then let them. It's NOT me. And I don't appreciate any of them telling me how much better it is. Personally I think being in a clean hospital surrounded by people who know what they're doing is better than being at home. And I'm all for pain relief instead of sitting there suffering. The technology is there. Why not use it. I'm not for the whole "I am WOMAN!! Hear me roar!!!" BS.

I have nothing against you wanting a C-Section.That doesn't make you a bad person. I'm not going into hospital with that NOT being an option.I'm going into hospital open-minded. I don't know how my body is going to react to the pain. I don't know if natural will be possible. As long as I have my healthy baby with me in the end that's all that matters. And if that's only going to be through a C-Section then so be it!!



P.S: the "hippy" moms drive me nuts too lol

 

[coccyx]

I have nothing to add. Well put. Until someone has been there I think they should not berate others. By all means have an opinion, but keep your options open.

 

[Jules]

I really couldn't give a toss on how anyone else decides to have there baby, c-section, pain free, drugged up! Its all down to personal choice and preference. I don't think any less or any more of anyone opting for a specific type of birth.

All i am bothered about is having my baby safely and as easy as possible. So i will do as i am advised and have whatever drugs i am advised to have by the professionals, i have never given birth and don't no what to expect or whats normal.

 

[B4byAnge1]

Yeah Im also with you, after a chaotic birth last time, ending in an emergency section, I am definetly not holding back this time on any pain relief etc for the sake of having a natural birth.
Im not sure why some people think its so much better to be 'natural' As long as the baby is healthy, and the mother is healthy, does it really matter? If people can manage without pain relief, then all power to them, but it doesnt make them any better/worse than me, who may need an epidural, possible section.

So Im with you tinytoes, the snobbery is daft

 

[leeanne]

I always say "Until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes." Every pregnancy, every delivery and every person is different.

Great post and I agree wholeheartedly!

 

[Holldoll]

I'm having a natural birth, and I don't think that it makes me any better than anyone that chooses not to. What I don't like is people making an uninformed choice.

America has a totally different view on giving birth than the rest of the world. We have a the 2nd highest newborn mortality rate and the highest rate of c-sections. There is a correlation between the two. The other problem is that drugs in OB have never been carefully studied. If you look throughout history and the drugs they have used, you will see that it's not until thousands of babies are born with defects that they decide to discontinue the use of drugs. Also, they are suspecting that their might be a correlation between the use of epidurals and the rising incidence of ADD.

Whatever birth you plan on having, I highly recommend you watch the movie, The Business of Being Born. And do your research. People spend more time researching the stroller they are going to buy than they do the birth they are going to have and the effects on both the mother and the child.

Be informed, that's what bothers me. Doctors don't know everything.

 

[oOKayOo]

I agree with you completly and it was well said!

I feel as i have to explain why i am getting a c-section to others and go into detail as i do get looks when i say i may need one and feel im being judged

But ive learnt to hold head up cos aslong as i am a great mother the birth shouldnt have any impact on anyone as its MY experience

But again well said!!

 

[vickilouise]

haha, i have nothing to say but


GIMMIE ALL THE DRUGS YOU GOT!!!!

I wont be having an epidural, not cos im a snob but i just dont like the idea of a needle in my spine.

 

[marley2580]

I agree with Holldoll, people should do their research. I did and decided that a home birth was best for me, as it turned out I needed a c-section, so I've experienced the whole range lol. I should say that being judgemental can go both ways - eg I am not a hippy mum - NO ONE has a right to judge the way you choose to give birth, you go with what is right for you and your baby whether that's at home by candlelight or in hospital by c-section.

 

[Margerle]

I'm having a natural birth, and I don't think that it makes me any better than anyone that chooses not to. What I don't like is people making an uninformed choice.

America has a totally different view on giving birth than the rest of the world. We have a the 2nd highest newborn mortality rate and the highest rate of c-sections. There is a correlation between the two. The other problem is that drugs in OB have never been carefully studied. If you look throughout history and the drugs they have used, you will see that it's not until thousands of babies are born with defects that they decide to discontinue the use of drugs. Also, they are suspecting that their might be a correlation between the use of epidurals and the rising incidence of ADD.

Whatever birth you plan on having, I highly recommend you watch the movie, The Business of Being Born. And do your research. People spend more time researching the stroller they are going to buy than they do the birth they are going to have and the effects on both the mother and the child.

Be informed, that's what bothers me. Doctors don't know everything.

Yes. And I don't think we're snobs for having this perspective.

 

[beanie]

I'm having a natural birth, and I don't think that it makes me any better than anyone that chooses not to. What I don't like is people making an uninformed choice.

America has a totally different view on giving birth than the rest of the world. We have a the 2nd highest newborn mortality rate and the highest rate of c-sections. There is a correlation between the two. The other problem is that drugs in OB have never been carefully studied. If you look throughout history and the drugs they have used, you will see that it's not until thousands of babies are born with defects that they decide to discontinue the use of drugs. Also, they are suspecting that their might be a correlation between the use of epidurals and the rising incidence of ADD.

Whatever birth you plan on having, I highly recommend you watch the movie, The Business of Being Born. And do your research. People spend more time researching the stroller they are going to buy than they do the birth they are going to have and the effects on both the mother and the child.

Be informed, that's what bothers me. Doctors don't know everything.

I agree with this, I have had two very different births, one with all the drugs and one with none and whilst I don't feel like I am a better mum to Cally then I am to Serenn I really wish I had read more about the options as that would have helped me prepare more mentally for the birth. I am a pretty "hippy mum" but I wouldn't have changed the way I gave birth to Seren as I did what I needed to get her here, I would have just liked to have known more about the side effects etc as it really hit me hard afterwards.

As for future births who knows what type I will have, depends on the situation at the time.

 

[anita665]

I agree it's down to personal choice but I want to do it as naturally as possible because I don't want to be in hospital for ages recovering from a c-section and the pain that goes with it and I hate the idea of an epidural because I'm freaked out by a needle going into my spine - things aren't meant to be poked in there!! I also don't want anything that will make me or the baby tired.

 

[nikky0907]

I absoulutely agree with you!

It is a very sexist thing to believe that all women must endure labor and with that a myth was created that it is magical and wonderful.
As you said,holding your baby in your arms is wonderful,it doesn't matter how you got there.

I am all for women choosing how they want to give birth to THEIR children.
I chose natural but only because I don't won't to be cut open,but I definitely want all the drugs that exist...

I notice how some women take greater pride when they give birth naturally without pain killers and look down on mothers who give birth by c-section.
This is the 21st century and you have every right to choose and if you want an easier birth and the pain free one you can!Simple as that.In the end of the day we are all mothers and real women.
I for once belive that a woman doesn't have to give birth at all if she chooses it,it doesn't make her any less better.

Thank you for this thread...

 

[Moraine]

I get quite wound up by the natural "hippy" mums who claim child birth is wonderful and magical. sorry but I dont get it. Receiving a baby in your arms is the magic as far as I can see. The rest is just a way to get it there.


so there, thats my tuesday rant...phew!

But if you opt to have a C section, you won't receive the baby in your arms for a while. At least that's what I was told.

I am opting for natural for a few reasons. And I am far from a hippy. I do not want surgery, I would rather go through some pain than go through major surgery with no pain. And I do not want an epidural because my sister had one and she still has back pain because of it a year later.

I do not look down on anyone for their choice of birth, and I would hope no one would look down on me for mine, such as calling me a hippy mum.

 

[coccyx]

Yes you do or rather I held my daughters a few mins after being delivered by a c section and it is not painfree!!!! Hope you get the delivery you hope for

 

[nikky0907]

But if you opt to have a C section, you won't receive the baby in your arms for a while. At least that's what I was told.

I am opting for natural for a few reasons. And I am far from a hippy. I do not want surgery, I would rather go through some pain than go through major surgery with no pain. And I do not want an epidural because my sister had one and she still has back pain because of it a year later.

I do not look down on anyone for their choice of birth, and I would hope no one would look down on me for mine, such as calling me a hippy mum.

I don't think she meant to call everyone who has had a natural delivery a hippy mom.
What she meant by hippy moms are the women who claim that only a natural birth is right and only that makes you a mother and a true woman,and the ones that say that a women's body is supposed to go through that and be ''united with nature''.

A woman's body is structured in a way that it goes through a pregnancy and delivery but today a woman can choose for a delivery that she finds appealing to her.

I personally don't find labor pains wonderful and nobody has to go through them if they don't want to...

 

[maybebaby]

I'm having a natural birth, and I don't think that it makes me any better than anyone that chooses not to. What I don't like is people making an uninformed choice.

America has a totally different view on giving birth than the rest of the world. We have a the 2nd highest newborn mortality rate and the highest rate of c-sections. There is a correlation between the two. The other problem is that drugs in OB have never been carefully studied. If you look throughout history and the drugs they have used, you will see that it's not until thousands of babies are born with defects that they decide to discontinue the use of drugs. Also, they are suspecting that their might be a correlation between the use of epidurals and the rising incidence of ADD.

Whatever birth you plan on having, I highly recommend you watch the movie, The Business of Being Born. And do your research. People spend more time researching the stroller they are going to buy than they do the birth they are going to have and the effects on both the mother and the child.

Be informed, that's what bothers me. Doctors don't know everything.

I saw that movie too - and I completely agree with your post. I absolutely think that each birth is different and whatever the mommy decides is best for her is the way it should be. I want to try for a natural birth, and have already told my OB that I want to avoid Pitocin if I can. But if something goes wrong, it is nice to know that a c-section is available.

 

[coccyx]

Do ladies mean different things when they say 'a natural ' birth?? I take it to mean no pain relief etc. But in some posts seems to mean different. Does that make sense

 

[leeanne]

I've had C-sections and I have no regrets nor do I feel less a woman. I never felt guilty for not being able to deliver my babies naturally. My babies came out healthy and that's all that mattered. My first might not be here if it weren't for a C-section after two days of horrendous labour and no progress.