a rant: grrr why the snobbery about birth?!

[Kellz]

I haven't read the whole thread so forgive me if this is a bit random.

I don't think it's snobbery to be honest.
A natural birth is medically better for both mother and baby.
A natural birth doesn't mean having to tear and such. It's just that a lot of people in the medical profession want the birth to fit into the their time line and not that of the baby.
Proper preparation for birth and a midwife/doctor who doesn't want to rush you reduces the risks of tearing and such dramatically.
Most women really don't need someone poking fingers into their vagina to see how far dilated they are and then telling them to push. Your body is a wonderful thing and knows how to give birth (usually) if it is left to get on with it. Hormone release tells you when to push. That waiting until you want to push makes a big difference to tearing or stretching.

And it's not just childbirth that I feel this way about, it's all things medical. If it is possible to avoid hospitals, drugs and medical intervention I will. I prefer natural methods of pain management if at all possible.
I will admit there comes a time when you have to hand over to medical intervention - I'm not saying someone should have surgury without anaesthetic, but in such a situation I would prefer if possible to have a local instead of a general - ie as little intervention as possible.

Where I feel sad (is that the word I want?) is when so many people choose that they want this or that pain relief before they even know if it will hurt or if they will cope. If someone has tried and found they can't cope/manage the pain and they want painkillers then go ahead, but they might also be surprised that it isn't as bad as they thought it would be.

I can't understand why people wish to plan c-sections or inductions. To me it's like step back - pregnancy is natural and unless there is a good reason for intervening then let nature take it's course. It just seems so often that doctors want babies born to fit in their schedule "ah yes mrs jones, I'm free on tuesday we'll get the baby out then".

I went 18 days over with Harvey and yes I was tired and all the other niggles that go with late pregnancy, but I couldn't get my head around forcing him out when there was nothing physically wrong with either of us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is "if it ain't broke don't fix it". Sure it's each to their own and this is just my personal opinion.

Is childbirth painless? Heck no but if you gave me the choice between a punch on the nose and giving birth - I'll choose giving birth everytime.

 

[Ann-Marie]

I have to say, I totally agree with the original post.

I posted a thread about cesarean and SPD, and got back a response which was very much as you describe.... someone pushing their opinions where they weren't asked for !! Ho-Hum.... move on.

......but....... I WAS broke... literally... Pelvis... split..... So given the option..... which, yes, option, cesarean is definetely better for some

 

[Kellz]

In my view that is a physical reason to have a c-section and not a choice made because of convenience - to me that's a world of difference.

Margerle (sp) said it best I think.

 

[Linzi]

I haven't read the whole thing either. So this might be wrong or already have been said.

I agree to a point, the only thing I have a problem is is someone choosing to have a section because they're scared of the pain of childbirth, but thats only because I think it's unneccesary to put your body under that much stress if it doesn't need to be. It takes a lot longer to recover (and I don't just mean the 6 weeks after the operation - you're usually advised to wait a lot longer before having another baby than if you have a natural birth).

Saying that, if thats what someone wants to do, then I wont lecture them. I have no right, as Ive never been through labour before and it's each individuals choice.

As terrified as I am about birth, I wouldn't choose to go through that. If it was an emergency and for my baby's health, fine. But otherwise no way.

xxx

 

[tinytoes]

I have to say, I totally agree with the original post.

I posted a thread about cesarean and SPD, and got back a response which was very much as you describe.... someone pushing their opinions where they weren't asked for !! Ho-Hum.... move on.

......but....... I WAS broke... literally... Pelvis... split..... So given the option..... which, yes, option, cesarean is definetely better for some

but you see how you had to justify it? Thats what p*sses me right off. I'll say "i'm thinking of a C section..you see medically speaking I might split a lot, and blah blah blah..:" I feel i have to explain WHY i chose that option. It really is no one's choice but mine. My body. So what if I did choose it because i just fancied it?
People have boobs popped on and off their chests all the time. people have their teeth whitened and pulled around into shape. People have todgers put on, or nose jobs.. That surgery isnt frowned upon like a c section is.

anyway i'm bored of this debate now. I've come to terms with things. so that'll do for me
And I still am yet to discuss my options with my doc! hehe

 

[leeanne]

You know something, I don't care how a woman has a baby as long as that woman and baby are healthy in the end.

No one can say how childbirth should be done. Yes, sure, the most natural way is a vaginal delivery yet thinking back how many babies or mothers died or had issues way back when they didn't even perform C-sections?

It is up to the mother to decide how she wants to deliver her baby and no one should comment on that.

Does it mean that a mother is weak because she had a C-section? Hell, no. I find that she is a strong person to go through it, recuperate and take care of baby after. That mother shouldn't be made to be treated like she's less of a woman for going through a C-section.

I've had two, and my first one was an emergency C-section. I am due to have another C-section with this baby. Do I want to endure the hell of two day that I went through with my first before they finally gave up and gave me an emergency C-section? No. And gees, baby and I were going through a lot of stress so it's lucky she is here!

My second was a planned C-section, and because it was only 18 months since my first one. Thank goodness I did have one. My second was delivered at 38 weeks and was already over 8 lbs. Imagine what he would have weighed at 40 weeks? I am short and petite and I just don't think my body could have handled it.

I don't feel guilty, not one bit. I am just as much a mother as anyone who went through natural childbirth.

 

[leeanne]

I'm going to add one more thing too. Each C-section is not the same and the recovery time is different for each person and for each C-section. Yes, it took me 6 weeks to recover completely from my first. By 3 weeks I was ok though. I also put it down to having a lot of toxemia and going through stress before the C was done.

For the second one, which was planned, I was walking around the next morning with my baby. When I got home, my 18 month old at that time was sick, and I was carrying her. The only downfall I had was that I had bronchittis. But all in all, I recuperated real quick.

As for scarring, you can hardly tell I had anything done.

 

[Jenny]

My view on c-sections is that if it needs to be done then do it. But if it were me it would have to be something medically wrong. If others want to have a section electively then thats their choice and good for them.

I will admit, I've mentioned to some girls to make sure with their doctors if a sections is truly necessary assuming that most people would not like to go through a major surgery without knowing if they can labor at all or not (talking about first time moms). Thats what disturbs me the most, that nowadays girls aren't even getting the chance to find out if they can or not have a child naturally. And by naturally I mean without having your stomach split open. Edit to add: Yes, theres problems in labor and sometimes you need a section but personally, I liked finding out even though it was hell going through my first labor IMO

I had a loooot of trouble the first time around and I would have gladly taken a c section if they had offered me one then but it didn't happen. This time around I was a high risk for my laboring to end in a section but I wanted to give vaginally another shot. I even considered an elective section and decided against it because I was told I wouldn't make it to my 39 week (which turned out to be right). Which I'm happy I found out because it gave me more time to read on sections and watched a video. Definitely made me want to avoid it if possible. . I would rather recover from a few stitches down there, then have my stomach cut open.

As for vaginal labor with pain meds. I see nothing wrong with. I was disappointed that I had to get the epidural this time around because I *wanted* to try without pain meds. Not because its the best way but because I think it caused problems with my last birth and didn't like the feeling. Alas, I was unable to cope with the pain and ended up getting it, had no problem this time.

I don't see myself less of a woman because I got pain meds. And shame on anyone who looks down on women for having pain relief. I'm sure most women take pain medication when they have their periods, how is this any different? Are we going to start suffering through period cramps because its not *natural* to take pain medication I highly doubt it!. And yes I know, that the meds during labor are stronger than your normal pain killer. Just trying to show what I mean.

I'm sure if you went back centuries and you asked a lot of the women that went through labor if they wanted something to take away the pain, they would probably jump for it. They just weren't given the choice back then as we have now.

Anyways, sorry for rambling on!

P.S This is my OPINION, I hope nobody thinks I'm trying to force it on them. Each to their own, as long as there's a happy and healthy mommy and baby.