About to have IVF/ICSI, So scared it won't work, any first time success stories??

[Kzee]

Hi all!

Last time I posted on here, I was in the TTC Bit scary being here as I'm sure it is for everybody!

Bit of background, I'm 31, DH is 34, we've been together for 11 years and recently got married. I have mild PCOS, which doesn't (shouldn't) affect my fertility. Have had low progesterone on blood tests before though. DH has low sperm count, morph and motility and each SA has fluctuated from 13million, to 20, to 5, to 2... crazy!

Anyway, after investigations we were referred for IVF with ICSI at St Barts in London. I have just started Downregulation injections and am due for my first baseline scan in a couple of weeks so all early days at the minute but happy to get the ball rolling.

The problem I'm having is being totally and utterly petrified that it won't work! It really feels like you're putting all of your eggs in one basket, which, of course, you are! I'm trying to be positive and I keep imagining myself in the next couple of months, will I be pregnant? Or won't I and how on earth am I going to feel if I'm not?? I think i'm quite a strong person, but this TTC journey is pretty horrific, i'm sure you'll all agree and it's getting scarier.

I just wondered if any others share this feelings and can offer any advice on how to cope with 'not knowing' all the time. I'm pretty impatient and hate not having definitive answers so of course, not great in this situation which requires endless patience and positivity.

Also, be amazing to hear from anyone who has any ICSI success stories! A bit on your background and how you coped with the whole process and finding out about your BFPs or not

Thanks in advance and hopefully hear from you guys soon xx

 

[Kzee]

Any reassuring words out there???

 

[Becki09]

Didnt want to read and run

Cant give a success story as such but I have just finished my first IVF/ICSI cycle at Liverpool Women's. I was on a short protocol so didn't need to down reg, but other than the length of the cycle, they are pretty similar.
The process is an emotional rollercoaster and like you say it's hard to keep positive but we have to remain hopeful.

Me and My hubby are both 26, I have PCOS and have been TTC for 5 years.
I stimmed for a total of 12 days, had egg collection and they retrieved 16 eggs, out of those 15 were mature enough for the ICSI procedure, and out of those 15, 9 Fertilised.
Only one made it to blastocyst stage so I had a day 5 transfer yesterday!!

Due to me not having any to freeze, it is worrying as we only have one further funded cycle and it does feel like we are putting all out eggs into one basket!
But all we can do is remain hopeful and hope its our time.

Wish you lots of luck with your cycle x

 

[Kzee]

Thanks so much for your response Becki! I must say your progress so far sounds great! Please keep us updated, I have everything crossed for you! xx

 

[Pinkie3]

Kzee, i didn't want to read and run either.

I dont have a success story for- yet! Me and the OH have also been together 11 years been trying for 2.5 years and i've never been pregnant. The OH sperm count has been low and by the sounds of it very lazy too, i also have a high FSH which means my eggs are not great. This was our first cycle i only had 5 eggs collected with 2 good enough for transfer. I was pretty upset at first but we need to remember it only takes one and try not get hung up on numbers its about the quality.

My advice would be get excited about starting, think about it finally after all these years it might be your time. Also do everything you can to give yourself that best possible chance so if it doesn't work then you know you couldn't have done anymore. Try and relax during this part, cos i found it the easiest. I am currently PUPO and finding this part the hardest.

Wishing all the best of luck x

 

[KatherineA]

Hi Kzee

I had my first IVF in June (my details are in my signature). Surprisingly it worked first time but sadly I suffered a miscarriage at the begining of September.

Hopefully it will work for you first time. If not, you can always go again, I am hoping to try again with IVF in the next few months.

Good luck !!!

 

[Kzee]

Thank you so much and I'm so sorry about your loss. These things are sent to try us I guess...

It's strange, we're all going through/have gone through the same thing, I think you're all amazing.

I guess the thing I want to be reassured about is that if IVF doesn't work, could it still happen naturally. I know it's unlikely but I hate that this could be our only way, in case we're unsuccessful. Hmmmm, I don't know.

Any tips on trying to get the best quality eggs? My husband has being cutting down on the booze and taking vitamins. I've lost 35lbs in the past year so have been eating very healthily, drinking lots of water and excersizing 3 times a week. Also quit smoking last year so have got pretty healthy. Still treat myself at weekends though, including alcohol. But any tips / old wives tales would be gratefully received I mean, how do you make a "good" egg?!

Take it easy everyone and please keep me updated on your treatment x

 

[KateAnn]

Hi all,
I'm about to start DR too (23rd Oct) it's my first cycle of ivf, unexplained infertility. Did 3 cycles of clomid but it didn't work for us. I had a natural pregnancy in February 2012, but miscarried at about 7 weeks. Not a hint of a bfp since then and that's why we are now going down ivf route. Today I had an endo scratch which hurt like hell!!! Anybody else having or had this? I've heard good things about it, but like you all, so very scared that this wont work. It's very difficult to stay positive all the time. Plus my boss is not very understanding at all and is starting to be a bit funny about time off for appointments. I am a teacher so I can't take days off as 'holidays'. Was a complete mess going back to school this morning after the endo scratch but had to just get on with it.
Would be nice to share our journeys and hear lots of success stories!
Kate xx

 

[KatherineA]

Good Luck Kate Ann, I am going to ask about the endo scratch when I go for my NHS appointment. If they dont do it on the NHS, I will consider having it done privately. I dont know anyone who has had it done but there has been aot of coverage in the media about it recently. Dont know if I like the idea of it hurting so much but I guess it is worth it.

Sorry to hear about the situation with your boss. Here's hoping you will get the time off you need

Hi all,
I'm about to start DR too (23rd Oct) it's my first cycle of ivf, unexplained infertility. Did 3 cycles of clomid but it didn't work for us. I had a natural pregnancy in February 2012, but miscarried at about 7 weeks. Not a hint of a bfp since then and that's why we are now going down ivf route. Today I had an endo scratch which hurt like hell!!! Anybody else having or had this? I've heard good things about it, but like you all, so very scared that this wont work. It's very difficult to stay positive all the time. Plus my boss is not very understanding at all and is starting to be a bit funny about time off for appointments. I am a teacher so I can't take days off as 'holidays'. Was a complete mess going back to school this morning after the endo scratch but had to just get on with it.
Would be nice to share our journeys and hear lots of success stories!
Kate xx

 

[highhopes2013]

Hi! It worked first time for me but sadly I lost the baby at 11 weeks. I have read many success stories where it worked first time...u shud have hope! X

 

[Kitty1978]

Hi Kzee,

I too am just about to begin IVF/ICSI at St Barts for the first time. Am starting my DR injections on Friday this week. How did you find yours? I'm not good with needles and am petrified of doing them. Plus the list of side effects is pretty scary!

My DH and I have been ttc for 3 years now. We think the problem lies with him although tests seem to vary all the time. We managed to conceive once a year and half ago, but I sadly miscarried at 6 weeks. Since then we have had no luck.

I know exactly how you're feeling. Its such a nerve racking experience and although I was pesamistic at first, I'm now starting to allow myself to hope but I feel like I'm just setting myself up for a fall. I know I'm going to be devastated if it fails.

I wish you all the best of luck, hopefully we'll both have some good news come Christmas!

 

[PinkPeony]

:wave: i was first time lucky with ICSI. I still can't believe it. I'm similar to you with progesterone issues and hubby has low count/motility (his counts were all over the place like that too). We had tried IUI 5 times with no luck.

I know how scary it is to take that plunge but your chances are soooo much better than with anything else. Try to approach it in a very step by step way, otherwise it can be really overwhelming. I looked at getting through each stage as its own success. Anyway if you have any questions at all, feel free to ask. Good luck!

 

[Kzee]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your responses. So lovely to hear from people going through this.

Highhopes - so sorry for your loss. Do you have any more treatment coming up? What is the next step?

Kitty! Ah, amazing that we're both at St Barts! I've found the DR injections absolutely fine, and i'm sure you will too. I'm not a fan of needles, not so much the discomfort, but the thought of it freaks me out. BUT this needle is so tiny, you can hardly feel it. I've been injecting into my thigh and I've heard a lot of people prefer the stomach area as it's less painful, but I found them fine so haven't tried changing to the stomach yet. Honestly, don't worry about them, they're not bad at all, in fact it's just a routine after the second day! Also, the side effects, I've not had many at all. I would say the only thing I've (my husband!) noticed was mood swings, ha! But nothing out of the norm from PMT. I just had two evenings of feeling a bit ratty and emotional but that's been it, so far!

So sorry about the MC I guess the only comfort is knowing that you can and have the potential to conceive naturally if the IVF doesn't work. Not much comfort after 3 years though, I'm sure. What has your partner's SA been like?

I can't help but imagining myself at Christmas, being pregnant but I know that might not happen and it's very hard flipping from one feeling to the other... I'm praying for us both and everyone else out there going through it! I wish you all the luck in the world, let's stay in touch!

PinkPeony, WOW! congratulations!! Amazing news and thanks so much for sharing. Can I ask what your OH SA results were? Thanks for your step by step advice... I'm definitely trying that approach and will keep at it. And you're right about the high chances, it's just so hard to be excited because you know you could be so low in a few weeks too. So happy for you though, love hearing these success stories! Have you told anyone yet??

xx

 

[Kzee]

Signature!

 

[PinkPeony]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your responses. So lovely to hear from people going through this.

Highhopes - so sorry for your loss. Do you have any more treatment coming up? What is the next step?

Kitty! Ah, amazing that we're both at St Barts! I've found the DR injections absolutely fine, and i'm sure you will too. I'm not a fan of needles, not so much the discomfort, but the thought of it freaks me out. BUT this needle is so tiny, you can hardly feel it. I've been injecting into my thigh and I've heard a lot of people prefer the stomach area as it's less painful, but I found them fine so haven't tried changing to the stomach yet. Honestly, don't worry about them, they're not bad at all, in fact it's just a routine after the second day! Also, the side effects, I've not had many at all. I would say the only thing I've (my husband!) noticed was mood swings, ha! But nothing out of the norm from PMT. I just had two evenings of feeling a bit ratty and emotional but that's been it, so far!

So sorry about the MC I guess the only comfort is knowing that you can and have the potential to conceive naturally if the IVF doesn't work. Not much comfort after 3 years though, I'm sure. What has your partner's SA been like?

I can't help but imagining myself at Christmas, being pregnant but I know that might not happen and it's very hard flipping from one feeling to the other... I'm praying for us both and everyone else out there going through it! I wish you all the luck in the world, let's stay in touch!

PinkPeony, WOW! congratulations!! Amazing news and thanks so much for sharing. Can I ask what your OH SA results were? Thanks for your step by step advice... I'm definitely trying that approach and will keep at it. And you're right about the high chances, it's just so hard to be excited because you know you could be so low in a few weeks too. So happy for you though, love hearing these success stories! Have you told anyone yet??

xx

I've just told immediate family and a couple of my closest friends. Leaving it at that till I'm out of the danger zone for sure. It still feels weird to say outloud.

DH's SA's ranged from about 20-8 million or so and his motility was around 25%. We were told that his SA's were not so bad that we shouldn't have conceived after all that time so I was diagnosed as unexplained. After having done the ivf it's still not clear if there's something wrong with me bc my response was good. My ivf doctor said it was possibly something preventing fertilization.

 

[Kzee]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your responses. So lovely to hear from people going through this.

Highhopes - so sorry for your loss. Do you have any more treatment coming up? What is the next step?

Kitty! Ah, amazing that we're both at St Barts! I've found the DR injections absolutely fine, and i'm sure you will too. I'm not a fan of needles, not so much the discomfort, but the thought of it freaks me out. BUT this needle is so tiny, you can hardly feel it. I've been injecting into my thigh and I've heard a lot of people prefer the stomach area as it's less painful, but I found them fine so haven't tried changing to the stomach yet. Honestly, don't worry about them, they're not bad at all, in fact it's just a routine after the second day! Also, the side effects, I've not had many at all. I would say the only thing I've (my husband!) noticed was mood swings, ha! But nothing out of the norm from PMT. I just had two evenings of feeling a bit ratty and emotional but that's been it, so far!

So sorry about the MC I guess the only comfort is knowing that you can and have the potential to conceive naturally if the IVF doesn't work. Not much comfort after 3 years though, I'm sure. What has your partner's SA been like?

I can't help but imagining myself at Christmas, being pregnant but I know that might not happen and it's very hard flipping from one feeling to the other... I'm praying for us both and everyone else out there going through it! I wish you all the luck in the world, let's stay in touch!

PinkPeony, WOW! congratulations!! Amazing news and thanks so much for sharing. Can I ask what your OH SA results were? Thanks for your step by step advice... I'm definitely trying that approach and will keep at it. And you're right about the high chances, it's just so hard to be excited because you know you could be so low in a few weeks too. So happy for you though, love hearing these success stories! Have you told anyone yet??

xx

I've just told immediate family and a couple of my closest friends. Leaving it at that till I'm out of the danger zone for sure. It still feels weird to say outloud.

DH's SA's ranged from about 20-8 million or so and his motility was around 25%. We were told that his SA's were not so bad that we shouldn't have conceived after all that time so I was diagnosed as unexplained. After having done the ivf it's still not clear if there's something wrong with me bc my response was good. My ivf doctor said it was possibly something preventing fertilization.

Wow, it's all just so weird this conception malarkey, can't get my head around any of it! I can't imagine how happy you must be... enjoy it and H&H 9 months xx

 

[Briss]

Hi Kzee, I cant give a success story yet we are still in the middle of it. Our first IVF after 3.5 years TTC. also sperm quality/quantity issues. We opted for natural/modified IVF which is very mild stimulation. I stimmed for a total of 5 days with 150 IU menopur but only had 2 large follicles and one was located next to my ovarian cyst so they decided not to risk it only collected one from the dominant follicle. The egg was mature for the ICSI procedure and successfully fertilised. they transferred 4 sell embryo on day 2 last Friday.

You just have to take it day by day. when my follicles were growing we started with 6 and I had scans every other day and every time things changed so you just have to be very patient. My clinic was very good as they were always very encouraging and complementary about my follicles, lining, egg, embryo, always saying how perfect everything is. it's so important as you feel calm and confident that your embryo is the best ever and that's all you need to know really. I found that we cant control this process very much so you just have to go with it and hope for the best. make sure you eat your protein as follicles grow for egg quality and feel positive.

best of luck!

 

[Kzee]

Hi Kzee, I cant give a success story yet we are still in the middle of it. Our first IVF after 3.5 years TTC. also sperm quality/quantity issues. We opted for natural/modified IVF which is very mild stimulation. I stimmed for a total of 5 days with 150 IU menopur but only had 2 large follicles and one was located next to my ovarian cyst so they decided not to risk it only collected one from the dominant follicle. The egg was mature for the ICSI procedure and successfully fertilised. they transferred 4 sell embryo on day 2 last Friday.

You just have to take it day by day. when my follicles were growing we started with 6 and I had scans every other day and every time things changed so you just have to be very patient. My clinic was very good as they were always very encouraging and complementary about my follicles, lining, egg, embryo, always saying how perfect everything is. it's so important as you feel calm and confident that your embryo is the best ever and that's all you need to know really. I found that we cant control this process very much so you just have to go with it and hope for the best. make sure you eat your protein as follicles grow for egg quality and feel positive.

best of luck!

Thanks so much, best of luck to you too! Hopefully, we will all become the success stories on here! Fingers crossed

 

[Kitty1978]

Kzee-It would be great to keep in touch! It would be so nice to have a buddy that totally understands what we are going through.

My DR injections start tomorrow morning (eek!) but you've reassured me that they're not too bad. I was thinking of using my thigh too, because of my pear shape, I've got a lot more fat on them than my stomach lol!

My DH has had numerous SA. The first 2 were NHS which said although his count was high his morphology was very low. Then we had one at Lister which said the morphology was fine but the motility was slightly low but overall quite a reasonable result. Despite this more positive test, the docs still think the morphology is the problem which is why we're now beginning IVF.

Just wanted to mention something that might give us all hope. My friend has had an awful 8 years of ivf and miscarriages - 7 of them!!! Finally earlier this year they think they found the reason for her miscarriages, a sternum in her cervix which they removed. Two months later she was pregnant and she's now 21 weeks with everything looking well! There's hope for all of us. Think positive!!!

 

[Kzee]

Hey all, how's everyone doing? any updates?

AFM, I'm just chugging along with my Buserelin injections so not much to report. Just getting impatient really...

Hope you're all well. x