Accupuncture ladies-from TTC to BFP

[BBbliss]

Breaking I was wondering were you were, lol

Girls not all is lost I'm not worried about that spotting anymore, it was just a little brown mixed with CM and AF never came so I'm still pregnant!

I took a look at betabase.com and also googled success stories with low betas and even found a couple of women who had it worse then me and still had a perfect baby afterwords and that's all I needed to know

Well, since its now pretty much the weekend and a Holliday on Monday they didn't schedule me for a beta until next Tuesday! I did find a walk in lad near me I can go to and get betas in 15 minutes so I may do that tomorrow if I feel tortured enough.

My DD looked so beautiful at her graduation and she graduated with honors too. I'm so proud of her I really had to fight the tears, I can't believe is moving out next month, I have to say if it weren't for my own hopes and worries with this IVF and all I had to think about was her leaving I'd be a total mess right now. I'll try to post a quick picture to share with you girls.

 

[BBbliss]

Oh btw, I've lost so many posts that now before a post something that is particularly long I always copy it before pressing post so if I get kicked of I just sign in and "post" my copied post from before and press post reply and it works every time like that.

 

[melly2]

Bbliss: That's great news! Some women implant later, my doctor told me that as well, which is why she warned me from taking a pregnancy test before the beta. Congratulations on your DD graduation! I'm sure you are so proud.

 

[Jazzbird]

BBbliss - hoping everything is ok. At the time I found out I was pregnant I was desperate for reassurance and wondered about getting private betas etc. but I actually feel that the less testing you do the better as it doesn't change the outcome. We are all so variable - we implant at different times, get different beta readings, progesterone etc. - the additional monitoring just gives you something else to worry about. I know you have to have testing as part of ivf, but if you can (and this is rich coming from me!) - try not to place too much importance on it. Try to visualise the embryo growing in cells and size - I really think it influences our body.

Your daughters graduation sounds amazing. You must be so very proud. Is she going to college? Is this the daughter you have had a tricky time with of late? I hope that moving out will give her the sense of perspective I got when I left home - it instantly made me appreciate my parents.

You will always be her mum. She will always need you.

Hi to everyone else!

Breaking - I'm always losing posts on this forum and accidentally unsubscribing too!

 

[gingmg]

Bbliss- of coarse all is not lost. Its the doubling and rising that counts, not the actual number itself. I like what jazzbird said about visualizing your embryo growing and splitting. I will do the same.
Congrats on your daughters graduation! Stay strong, you can do this!!!

 

[BBbliss]

I really love you girls! Thank you!

Jazz, I'm doing just that, the visualization, I learned some exercises with that book I got in NY she says to visit your baby as many times as possible and see everything growing and developing well, I'm doing it!

My daughter is going to NYU to study film, her dream carrier and at the the best film school in the country, she's an angel and an exceptional person. My youngest is the one I was having problems with but yesterday we hit bottom and also had a huge break through all in the same day, it was a very very intense day here, that's why I wasn't able to post. All is well now and we a headed into a really really good direction now.

I decided to stop testing and just wait for Tuesday. So I'm still pregnant and we'll find out my numbers then

Oh I wanted to shay when I was in NY at the BBshower there was a group of young new moms all taking about the book " happiest baby on the block" they were all really into it, I'm going to borrow it next

Ii wanted to comment on an older post too. I went to a seminar about a month ago switch some really great speakers, 10 hours long. Wayne dyer opened followed by Brian Weiss, who wrote "many lives many masters" if you've ever herd of it, and Sherry Richardson was also one of the guest speakers, she was on The Secret. Well after a full long day of aha moments and insights I walked away with this ( I already know that btw, lol) they ALL talked about gratitude and forgiveness. gratitude is where it all stars, where happiness begins, where you life starts to change so even if you are not a "natural optimist" all you need to do is practice gratitude. Simple as that

 

[Jazzbird]

Well I'll start by saying how grateful I am for my cyber ttc/acu/pregnant buddies. I have felt a little distant from oh with ttc and now pregnancy - but I never feel alone on these forums. I'm forever thankful I have you to turn to and support.

BBbliss - I am so inspired by your positivity. I am going to start waking and going to sleep with 5 things I am grateful for. Your daughter is off to film school - how wonderful. For some reason uk students rarely pursue more artistic degrees. I think it is so important to pursue your passion.

AFM, I'm feeling a little low. I'm not working right now and so spending my days doing housework and playing piano. It's a little lonely as oh has been travelling with work and working long hours. Today he went off to a friends bday party at a beer factory and just called to say he's going to be late. I should also add he has no energy still from his op and when he gets home he just goes to sleep on the sofa after I've cooked and washed up.

I'm feeling a little but neglected and under appreciated. He's a lovely husband but he throws himself into work and has so many friends. So we sort of had words when he called saying he was going to be late. I didn't say anything really but I thin he picked up the tone of my voice.

He just doesn't understand how isolating I find pregnancy. I feel fat and ugly and worry my body will never look good again and I worry that my career and independence will stall. All the while his life just continues as normal. He says he doesn't feel connected to the baby - but he spends so little time with us. He barely touches my belly or participates in baby shopping/ nursery prep.

It's a little bit of a shock because he's usually such a considerate person but I guess he is worried about becoming a dad.

 

[gingmg]

Jazzbird only have a second but wanted to send you a big hug. I'll respond properly soon.

 

[gingmg]

Jazz bird- Im sorry you are having a tough time and feel a bit disconnected from your DH. I think its hard to be the one that goes through all the hormonal changes, body changes, and lifestyle changes while the OH's lives don't change all that much right now. I also think its normal for the men to not feel connected to the baby yet because she is growing in you and you are the one that feels her, is nourishing her and have changed a lot for her already. Once she is born through, I bet it will change and your OH will instantly fall in love and want to take care of her and protect her. Its like its almost not even real to them yet.
I know how hard it is to see your body changing and no matter how how many times my wife says I look beautiful pregnant, all I see is myself getting fatter. I also didn't expect all the other changes, I just thought your belly gets big, I didn't know everything else was going to start changing as well. We will get our figures back. There is no reason we won't, especially if we eat right and stay active. Since you are having a summer baby, there will still be plenty of nice weather to take her for walks.
I think this whole process is hard. For us, life changed the moment we saw two lines. For our OHs, life won't change until they meet them.
I'm sorry you feel so isolated. I'm sure it makes it harder when you aren't working as much either. It will all get better. Hugs! I'm here anytime.

 

[Jazzbird]

Thanks Ging, you are a true friend I know what you say is right. He is a good kind man. It doesn't help that he's completely gone off sex or me? since pregnancy. To be honest after his op last summer and the terrible months following where he could hardly sit up or walk, his libido took a massive nose dive. Now he says it doesn't feel right with the baby! Tbh I was so sick anyway for first 24 weeks but I still need reassurance nothing has changed. I guess only time will tell.

 

[gingmg]

Jazzbird- Well it's not just the men then... our sex life has dwindled as well... even if we start, she is afraid of hurting the baby. I think they get scared of that. I'm trying to make more of an effort, and it's been helpful to start with intimate time rather than sex, if that makes any sense. I feel like the sex will follow if we start to reconnect again. It was just such a long emotional journey to try to get where we are that I think we lost some of the passion and spice along the way. It will all get better.

BBliss- I agree with the gratitude stuff you wrote. That was a big part of my mind/body program. I am not an optimist by nature, but that program helped me to change some of my natural wiring to look at things differently. That's great that your daughter is going to NYU to study film, good for her. What an exciting time in her life. I'm glad that you are feeling like things are starting to change with your younger daughter. If you hit bottom, there is only one way to go from here.

They accepted our offer. As long as all goes ok with the inspection... looks like we bought a house!!


Breaking, Melly, tryfor2-:wave: How are you???

 

[BBbliss]

Oh Jazz, I'm so sorry you've been down, it is very lonely to be pregnant, I think it's normal for the man to distance themselves (or partner) with my girls my ex also didn't want to DTD he said he couldn't feel hot for a pregnant woman, it was hurtful and on top of that I was soooo horny all the time from the extra blood down there, I felt crazy and had to make myself happy, well I had to make myself happy in every way with that relationship more so then in any normal relationship where man are afraid to hurt the baby, not aroused or even jealous of you. I had to really just concentrate on my growing baby. I LOVED being pregnant, really did. Enjoy this time alone because you will NEVER be alone after that baby comes out, LOL

And as far as getting your body back, don't worry about it, my body looked better after kids, not right after, when you have the baby it's a total deserter zone, lets not go there yet, but about a year later I was thinner then pre baby, I think breathed ding really helps you lose the weight. I did for a year with the first and 6 months with the second.

Ging, I never thought a female partner would have a problem with intimacy with a pregnancy, I thought women would be more understanding and embracing. Tell her she CAN'T hurt the baby, they are so well protected, nature really takes care of it.

Afm, I'm still pregnant, LOL waiting for Tuesday. And I haven't had sex since the day before transfer and DF asks me every day how long more. I said right now don't even think about it!!! I don't really remember my clinic's recommendation. What was yours? I've read so many conflicting info on line I really don't know.

 

[tryfor2]

I'm all right Gingmg, thanks for asking. I've been following along but feeling a bit quiet. Having a bit of a crap week to be honest. Fighting with my mother (via email) whom I have a tenuous relationship with as it is, drama with this fancy shower that my MIL is wrapped up in throwing me (very nice of her but I'm a bit embarrassed by it all), had a teensy bit of bleeding and am struggling to trust that all is fine (OB says it is). And the wife of a childhood friend just died. Cancer. She was just 6 months older than me (38 going on 39). I never knew her (we live a plane ride away) but am totally gutted for my friend. I know they wanted kids but they married late and never even had the chance to try (she found a lump in her breast on their honeymoon). Really puts things in perspective, but I am feeling sad and bitter and that life is totally unjust. Of course these bloody hormones don't help!

Hmm, yes, sex during pregnancy…. a bit of an oxymoron in my experience. Last pregnancy I had zero libido and the few times we tried it hurt so much we couldn't continue. So we didn't actually properly DTD from conception until several months post birth. Yup, more than an entire YEAR without. DH and I don't have a great sex life to begin with, so it wasn't that much of a loss, but I still missed it.

This pregnancy, strangely, I am up for it more than ever but DH is not. We've only done it three times since I conceived and I initiated each time. When I called him on it one night he actually admitted that he was less attracted to me pregnant. That did not go over well. We had a huge argument and barely spoke for several days (I started a whole thread about it on the second tri board). He frantically back pedalled and said he loved my body but couldn't get around the idea of the baby being mere inches away etc. and said he in fact was equally attracted to me…. Totally conflicting things that reeked of Husband Desperate to Make Amends. After a couple of weeks of me changing in the bathroom (I felt like my body disgusted him), we did end up having sex, but I felt a bit like it was him simply trying to prove his point. Nothing was said about it and nothing has happened since. We probably won't do it again until after the baby is born. A shame, since I actually want to these days. And I feel pretty slighted because I am putting my body through this and enduring all these less than lovely things for us BOTH. A little gratitude perhaps? (…in the form of an orgasm?! Ha ha).

Jazzbird: Pregnancy is tough. It is very alienating. Nobody knows what you are going through, what it feels like TO YOU, at this moment, other than you. My husband has never been one to ask much about the baby or kiss my belly or show much excitement, which I find quite hurtful, but he is who he is and I can't force him to be something he isn't. People care even less about subsequent pregnancies so I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who's excited for this baby. Honestly, sometimes I feel sorry for him or her--as though he or she can sense the lack of excitement from others. Don't mean to be a downer…. Try to get out and be around people, as idiotic as some of their well-meaning comments can be…. I find I get really down if I spend too much time indoors by myself.

Try not to worry about what pregnancy will do to your body. This was a HUGE fear of mine (not that I'm a supermodel to begin with&#8230, and things turned out fine. I didn't get stretch marks, my boobs didn't sag (though they are a bit smaller), my stomach looks (well, looked) pretty much the same as it did pre pregnancy--maybe the skin is the slightest bit less taut, and I lost my baby weight uber fast. I won't get into how fast as I was not the norm (my dr. was concerned and sent me for medical tests), but I was thinner post-pregnancy than I was before. And I can't attribute it to breastfeeding because I wasn't able to. I know quite a few women who are thinner after having children than before. Yes, my hips are a little wider (not noticeable to anyone but me), but in my case that's a good thing as it makes my waist look smaller! Our bodies are hugely resilient. They are more wise than we give them credit for. Try to trust that all will be okay. I ended up wasting many hours of worry and psychic energy on things that never materialized!

One thing though--I agree with Bbliss--your body will likely be a gong show in the weeks after birth. Do not look at it closely or weigh yourself--combine that with plummeting hormones and sleep deprivation and you're in full meltdown mode. It takes a few weeks for your uterus to shrink back down and skin to firm up etc., so in this period mirrors are not your friend! Be forewarned: in the days following giving birth you will still look 7 months pregnant. It's shocking. You have to see it to believe it. I was so glad to see Kate Middleton reveal her post-baby bump because this is reality. But it goes away. You must continue to remind yourself in those first few days/weeks that all of that stuff (pain, jelly belly, sleep deprivation, screaming infant etc.) is transitory. That's the only way to get through it--faith that it will change sooner than you think. And it does.

Bbliss: Congrats on your daughter's graduation! That's huge! I can't imagine the pride you must feel. I know I'm just about bursting with it when my toddler flings a ball on command (generally in the vicinity of my face). I can't imagine witnessing him do something actually worthy of my pride!

Sorry for the dissertation. I guess I'm not feeling as quiet as I thought!

How are you doing Melly2? Has the bleeding still stayed away?

 

[Jazzbird]

You gals are THE best! Thank you so much for all your advice and sharing such private stories. I am sure everything will be ok in the long run.

Ging - it's a brilliant idea to have more intimate time without sex. I'm going to try this with OH. Thank you!

BBbliss - thinking of you for tmrw. I am praying everything looks good but no heavy bleeding/ cramping is a great sign. As for DTD when pregnant - I know western medicine says it's fine but Chinese medicine advises against it in first tri. It is said to de-stabilise the embryo. I have no idea if this holds any weight but I know a lot of pregnant women have complained of cramping after sex.

Tryfor2 - I'm sorry to hear about probs with your mum, and MIL and your friends wife. You are right it puts it all into perspective. We just found out my oh's work colleague most likely has motor neurones disease and he just turned 50. It's just about the worst thing that can happen to a person. They think he has maybe a year but it will be rapid degeneration and he will likely lose ability to walk, talk, feed himself. Just heart breaking.

Thank you for your honest personal stories too. It would seem this is very common. I'm just going to concentrate on positive experiences with oh. We had a wonderful day in the sunshine - eating out and holding hands by the harbour. Then we stuck wall stickers up together in nursery. Feeling more connected to him again. Guess this is the beauty of marriage - everything is constantly changing and you have to keep tending to it, like a garden!


I'm going to trust everything will be ok. Worrying is such a waste of energy

Melly - hope you are ok too and everything is stabilising.

Love you gals

 

[gingmg]

Try- I am so sorry to hear about your friend's wife and that you have been having a tough time with your mother and MIL. It certainly does put things into perspective. I'm sure the little bit of bleeding is all going to turn out OK too. Love hearing that you and bbliss were in better shape after the baby than before. I'd like to think that will happen to me too, I had gained some weight pre pregnancy from quitting smoking, depression, and all those months of hormones so am starting my pregnancy heavier than I would have liked. I am scared of the weight gain thats in store, but it is what it is. I look at my mother and if that's what's in store for me, I have zero complaints.

Jazzbird- glad you are feeling a little better.

Bbliss- in a lot of ways she is understanding and empathetic of the pregnancy, more so than men, and I am grateful for that. I know she thinks my body changing is sexy, she wants to be involved in all my appointments, looks up all kinds of things, and has even read a book written for husbands about what to expect during this time. It is kinda funny because if I get testy or short about something, she will repeat things she read in that book thinking its what I want to hear. But she is still afraid of hurting him with anything inside of me. The part that makes it hard is that even though she is less feminine then me, she is still a woman and is still sensitive and sometimes me being cranky really hurts her. She takes it all to heart and that creates more problems. Leave it to the lesbians to talk about every single possible feeling, thought, emotion that we have ever had. Its exhausting!!! Lol!

I'm praying for your beta as well. My thoughts are with you. I know this must be such a scary worrisome time. No bleeding so far sounds good. One day at a time.

 

[melly2]

Bbliss: I think you're wise for holding out testing until tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow!! Congratulations to you for raising a daughter that is going to NYU film school! That is amazing! It's an incredibly hard school to get into, let alone the film program. I know you are proud and should be. I'm happy to hear that things are starting to change with your youngest. Sometimes it's hard for the youngest, especially when they live in the shadows of an elder sibling who is excelling. As long as she has confidence and knows she has the support of her parents, she will do well.

Jazz: I'm sorry you are going through this with your DH now. I think men get a little weirded out with the baby bump and engaging in intercourse. The last time my DH and I Bd I ended bleeding the next day, so my doctor has put me on pelvic rest, which means no intercourse. This may continue for the rest of the pregnancy, but I think my DH will understand, and to be honest, I don't think he'll be exactly keen on doing it either. I do think our partners have a hard time connecting with the pregnancy because they don't feel or go through all the physical changes we do. They're witnesses to our changing bodies, but can't yet connect with it. I know after you have the baby, things will become much more real for him and will begin to bond with the baby more.

I am in total agreement with you about worrying about my body. Right now, I can only walk since I'm on pelvic rest. I can't begin to tell you how many neighbors have stopped and asked me why I was walking (since I'm well known in the neighborhood as the running girl). I think about how good of shape I was in and how that is slowly going downhill. I just have to accept it...for now. I know I can get back in shape, but I don't know if I'll have an hour a day for running after the baby comes like I used to.

I also worry about so many other things, too. I will be quitting my job after the birth and raise the baby for at least the first five years. This was something both my husband and I agreed that if we had the means to do this, we would. However, being someone who has supported herself and worked my way through college and has always had a job since 16 years old, it will be a huge adjustment. I worked hard to get where I am in my career and I know there will be people thinking 'what the hell am I doing', but I just have to keep my focus on the well-being of this child I am bringing into the world.

Try: Sorry about your relationship with your mom. Mine is very strain as well, but it always has been. Happy to hear that you were able to bounce back from your pregnancy weight, it gives me hope!

AFM: I have not had a major bleed since the big scare last Wednesday. Thank God! I've had a little brown discharge, but nothing! I have a sonogram on Wednesday and I hope and pray that the hematoma has at least gotten a bit smaller. I feel like my blood pressure if very low. I was talking to my neighbor while walking my dog and damn nearly passed out. Anyone else have this? I get very light headed sometimes, and it's scary.

I also wanted to say that I'm grateful for all of you and your advice. It's nice to hear and learn from all of you. Your words of wisdom and sharing experiences truly makes me feel like I'm not on this preggo island alone. ;-)

 

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi ladies...

I had my 9w+5d ultrasound on Friday and everything looked great...I was measuring 9w+4d.

I was also told to stop all progesterone amd estrogen I've been taking since transfer when I start week 10.

Did everyone else stop at this point too? Is it ok ....I'm worried....:S

 

[gingmg]

Breaking-Great news! I stopped at 5 weeks, my levels were sky high. At 10 weeks the placenta takes over making progesterone. It will be OK.

Bbliss- thinking of you tomorrow!!

 

[Jazzbird]

Breaking - wonderful news. Not too long now til 2nd tri where you can really relax into it. So very happy for you!

Melly - so glad bleeding is calming down. It's also nice to know we have similar fears. It really helps me to know that other pregnant ladies are going through similar emotions. I think I mentioned to BBbliss that in Chinese medicine they advise against BD in the first tri as it can destabilise the embryo so probably waiting to have sex until second tri is a good idea. Also the light headedness is a sign of blood deficiency in Chinese medicine. It's very common in pregnancy - I recommend taking an iron supplement. Not sure if floradix is available in USA but I found that really helped. Also eat a nice quality steak every week helps to have a nice blood forming food to support you.

BBbliss - thinking of you today!

Ging - it's interesting to read about your relationship. I've often wondered if life would be easier with a woman able to instinctively understand your perspective but I guess it brings it's own set of benefits and drawbacks. Men are so much more practical and whilst I find that difficult a lot of the time - it's what I actually need most of the time. Except when they try and solve a problem when you just want empathy!

 

[BBbliss]

Ladies have I told you lately that I love you

Ging, thank you for sharing your experience in your relationship with your wife, your last sentence made my LOL, I remember a friend of mine who was dating this guy, a musician, who was so sensitive and always wanted to talk and talk and talk about his feelings and my friend felt tortured, she couldn't take it anymore, she would always say he was such a girl! Lol but it's so sweet she wants to go to all your appointments and uses quotes the book she read, it's nice to have that you are lucky that way.

Try, I'm sorry your mother and MIL are putting stress in your life right now, specially now that you are specially sensitive. Just go with the fancy shower thing, let her have her party, she's just overly exited and wants to be involved. Just try to enjoy it
It's so sad about your friends wife, I know how it feels when you compare your age to theirs, my father was 45 when he died and I'll be 45 soon. It's really sad when you can almost put yourself in their shoes like that. I hope you are feeling better with all that's been going on with you this week

Breaking, that's really great news on your scan, how nice to know for sure you are exactly where you are supposed to be

Melli, I hear you, I fell I myself and more and more out of shape, I fell I have already given up so much to this point, but I always put myself and my needs aside for this or else I would never do it. I'd like to think we are better for it some how because if we were superficial selfish woman we wouldn't be putting ourselves through any of this. It make me happy to hear your bleeding has gotten much better and that must really feel good for you after everything.

Jazz, what a nice wknd with your DH, you'll always remember the two of you putting stickers on nursery together, that's a really special moment. You are absolutely right worrying is such a waste of energy lets all go with that

Afm, I feel so so very proud of DD for her accomplishments and she really is a remarkable girl, we heard a rumor that NYU's film program only has a 1%acceptance rate, she's very talented and she new this was her dream since she was about 9yo. All this does make it very very hard for her younger sister, she always says to me in anger " I'm not my sister!" And I don't want her to be, I just wanted her to be a normal respectful drug free sweet teenager, but she's always just angry and unhappy. It's so much work, but all I want is for her to be safe and happy. It's very trying but now I'm hopeful we are getting there.

Now for my update, I'm getting ready to go to the lab right now for my beta. Yesterday I started to have this dreadful feeling that I had had a chemical and that the progesterone was keeping me from bleeding. Well, I had done very very well at not worrying and just being in the moment, but my moment had turned and time had come for my beta. I found an used FRER in my nightstand and I used it... It turned out negative, so my suspicion was right. I feel sad of course but I'm not falling apart, I'm glad I had that test sitting in my drawer, it prepares me for call later today. I have read people get BFN and go on to have positive betas, I just have a feeling this wont be my experience today. I do also feel this is not over me.

I only have to thank all of you wonderful sweet loving BnB friends who I so respect, appropriate and cheer for every single day. I myself feel I won't be participating on the TTC boards anymore. This is my one year anniversary and I've reached my limit and exhausted my TTC things things I want to talk about. I do want to stay here and follow your progress as I have become so emotionally involved with all of you and you journeys. We are going to try another round of IVF, maybe here or maybe even in Brazil. Lets get that call today first and then we can make the next decision. I do need a break to detox my body and summer will be the perfect time for it. I'll come back and give you girls an update later today. Thank you all for believing in me and staying on my side. I appreciate all,of you so much