Adoption journey

[dreamofabean]

It's horrid lolly, I really do wonder how much has been shared up to this point I know I've asked her in the past to tell them that he plays with the toys they sent etc, but I never thought that line would be crossed. Now I'm not as sure, and I'll be on guard from now on!
In lighter news we are meeting little mans fcs in Saturday so have that to look forward to
Little man has been a right crank today, hoping he's in a better mood tomorrow he's screeched his way through most of the day! Tantrums over nothing obvious etc! Happy days lol! I have the app the 'wonder weeks' that goes over development by stages and he's on track with his paddies!

 

[aimze]

O wow ladies the sharing info is a little worrying :-/ hopefully nothing that gives awy where they are living!!!

X

 

[dreamofabean]

No I don't think it would be anything that could jeopardise the placement, she'd lose her job. I just think that bps have been in contact more than she's let on, and that she's told them how he's settled etc more than necessary.

 

[Lolly1985]

Feeling like a glorified foster carer today, my little girl isn't anywhere being all mine yet and it breaks my heart. Birth mother has requested leave to appeal More delays, more uncertainty, more worry and more social workers. Very upset tonight ladies

 

[dreamofabean]

really wish I was closer to give you proper hugs lovely. I'm so cross for you, it really isn't fair birth parents should not be the people still holding all the power ;( there is a reason why she was removed! Add that to the siblings taken before, her lifestyle hasn't changed and isn't likely to! I'm livid for you Hun!
Huge hugs xxxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks Dreamy I agree, it's a rubbish system, they have placement orders and removal isn't taken lightly so that should be the end of it. I feel like you did the other day, I am so angry at birth mother, and lady I had felt complete empathy for before. I do understand why she's done it but I thought after we met with her and she met us and was happy little pink was being so well cared for that she wouldn't have the nerve to try. Maybe this sounds selfish but given some of the information we've had about her activities lately its really not its for selfish reasons on her part, not what's best for little pink Anyway, just have to wait it out for another month and hope it all gets thrown out This is the part of adoption people don't explain. The part that drags on and on. Sorry, just feeling very sorry for myself. I just want us to be a normal family now xxx

 

[aimze]

Oh lolly I'm sending virtual hugs too!

What happens next?

This is so awful for you all

 

[Lolly1985]

It's going to little pink's placing authority's legal team and both little pink's and our representing social worker will be in touch on Thursday Next date where judge will hear birth mum's evidence is a month away

 

[aimze]

Oh gosh lolly, an being pregnant you don't need this stress! do they know about the pregnancy?

I really hope in a month It's all sorted....why do they allow this?! It's stupid an just puts the adopter at the bottom of the thought about list

This is the part that worries me most x

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh sweetie, it really sucks. Just another delay you didn't need! I can imagine how you are feeling as I know how livid I was on Friday over something quite simple. It hurts more when you've been so sympathetic to their needs big, big hugs xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks both Really value your support! It does feel like a kick in the teeth to be honest. We have received her life story book today but I can't bring myself to look at it now as I can't stand to see her face, how bad is that? I do feel adopters have to jump through so many hoops and then our feelings are the quickest to be disregarded. Our representing social worker said 'oh well, it's only 4 weeks or so to wait'. That stung as we all know how long 4 weeks is in our worlds, 4 weeks of fear and uncertainty sounds like a lifetime to me. We have disclosed about the pregnancy and they have been supportive. Just as I felt happy and relieved was hit with this and the anxiety came back. Adoption by far is the best thing we've ever done, but enough now, I'm ready to close the door and just have a normal family life xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Totally agree Hun, I feel the same after the past week. I want him ours officially and for sws to just sod off! Lol. He's already ours in our hearts and minds so just want his name to match now! X

 

[Lolly1985]

Exactly Dream, I hate when things like this happen to make you realise how little say or claim over your baby you actually have

 

[aimze]

Awww ladies it really is about birth parents putting that last bit of control in..

Lolly do you need to seek legal advice? Do you know if she's managed to make her life more child friendly or not really?

X

 

[Lolly1985]

All of her 5 children are in care, she has certain difficulties that can never be 'fixed', has her own social worker, is vulnerable and has had recent police involvement. She's never ever had little pink, she was removed at birth. When you write it all down its not happening is it ladies? We will have legal advice from placing authority at this stage. Hopefully they'll just say not a chance, but still extremely anxious xxx

 

[aimze]

I know you can't give all the details Hun but just with what you've said absolutely no chance...

 

[dreamofabean]

Spot on lolly! There is NO chance! It's just frustrating that you have to wait. Your girl is with you to stay with sweetie! Just like the sws said today Bm probably has no idea of the heartache and stress she is causing by doing this, she's prob just trying to inconvenience ss as a 'revenge' of some sort. I doubt any of it is aimed at you, she just doesn't have the understanding to see it will affect you Hun

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks both, as ever you're so right! Think I'm feeling a bit better today. It was such an up and down day yesterday, worrying about disclosing the pregnancy, delighted when little pinks SW said it wouldn't change anything. Then worrying all over again about telling our representing SW, once again relief when it was done. Then finding out she's trying to appeal. My emotions were everywhere and DF was at work But today's another day, have to fight on for my girl and believe this will all go away quickly. It's first haircut day today and I'm going out for dinner tonight with my friends. Better cheer up! Thanks so much, what would I do without you?!

 

[Rainy123]

Glad to see you feeling more positive lolly. Hope your day went as well as hoped.

I am so ridiculously naive about the speed of the process. Having responded to 5 profiles on Monday I really thought I would have heard something from someone by now. I need to remind myself that social worker time is a thing all of it's own...why do they never seem in a rush to get these children into families?

 

[zero7]

Hi ladies. Sorry I have been awol for ages! Trying to catch up on all your recent news but there is too much! Huge congrats on your pregnancy lolly- amazing news!!

I have been away for so long and now here I am seeking your support! Thing is, we have been offered a baby sibling of our LO, which has rocked our world! We have thought long and hard, and with heavy hearts, we have turned the baby down. It just isnt the right time financially and we dont have the space. We are so happy with the way things are, and we dont want to upset the balance. We feel dreadful though! We just cant see any way around it. Wish we could!! Also, birth mother will continue having babies without doubt, so where does it end?

We have made our decision and this will not change - just need your support on this one as you guys will understand more than anyone.

Xxxxx