Adoption journey

[LolaM]

Oh I hear ya on the hormonies--I cried for 20 min because i couldnt get someone on the phone, its all so much, sometimes....

 

[karenh]

Yep, I broke down because my dh didn't open the windows before he went to bed. Life is stressful right now.

Lolly, I hope everything works out with your job. That can be so so stressful. Just keep you mind on your little pink!

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks everyone, you are all too lovely!! I am sorry to hear you are all finding it equally as hard, although it does make me feel better not being the only irrational one!! I swear this process replicates pregnancy hormones!! But no bump so we don't get away with it the same! My stomach is so unsettled today but it's all the anxiety I'm sure.

Just heard from social worker, meeting is at 10am next Tuesday. We have to devise a list of questions to send to her for the foster carers. I already have 23, oops!!! Just getting confirmation has made me feel so much better.

This is one crazy ride...!

Love to you all xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah that's great news lolly I would have a huge list too! Lol!!

 

[karenh]

Information is power, I am so glad you have so many questions. I can never think of anything. Only one week to go!

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks guys, our social worker has some too! Poor foster carers!!

We have some new information about birth family our social worker has uncovered. At first we were a bit concerned, but after my afternoon of research we don't feel much has changed at all and we are as happy as ever. Regardless now we are committed to our little lady, we are too in love with her!! But feeling relieved all is ok. Another day, another drama!! Tomorrow I'll find out about my job, what a week!!

But eeek, 6 sleeps!! Feels like Christmas!!

How is everyone today? Hope you are ok aimze?

Love Lolly xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah bless you! I'm a google freak but find that researching lots helps me feel in control! I'm glad you are feeling ok about things!
Fingers crossed all turns out ok with your job honey, will be thinking of you!
6 days will fly!! X

 

[Lolly1985]

Sometimes Dr Google makes it worse, but this time it made it better! We have some questions for medical advisor next week, but (this may sounds terrible) its almost to show willing because we really aren't worried! Of course the more information the better though.

Thanks Dream, I get tummy pains thinking about the job but I can't change things right now, just hope hope hoping!

 

[aimze]

Dr google is evil lol! They'll either tel you what you want to hear or don't!

Thank you all for your lovely comments...still waiting to hear whether we need to wait! For now we have our amazing fur baby Pug Doug!

I got him 3 weeks ago an he's 11 weeks...love him!

 

[dreamofabean]

Aww what a cutey! X

 

[Lolly1985]

Ahhhh, too cute!! Fur babies are the best

 

[karenh]

He is so cute!

 

[aimze]

He is pretty darn gorge!

What's your ladies opinions on changing little ones name? Me & hubs were talking about it last night...

X

 

[Lolly1985]

He really is!!

Regarding names it is pretty much frowned upon in the UK to change a child's name. They do a lot of work during preparation around identity and loss, and it is generally the one thing a child gets to keep as a consistent. Obviously if there is a valid reason such as it being identifiable and therefore a security risk they may recommend changing it, but generally to something pretty similar. Our social worker gave an example where birth family lived quite locally so Mckenzie was changed to Max. We have been advised to change the spelling of little pinks name and change her middle name. Obviously once the adoption order goes through you can do what you like. Hope that helps. XxX

 

[dreamofabean]

Morning all,
I'm here for a grump
Just had the following email from Sw:

Hi

I have received an email from the family finder who states that a court hearing was scheduled for 5/8/13 but had to be postponed as the paper work was not ready. The new court date will now be 6/9/13, the child’s social worker is aware that you are interested so I’m going to forward your report to her. Following court it would be good to arrange a meeting between you, me, the child’s social worker and family finder. I know you will be back at work by then but please send me available dates I can forward onto the other workers please.

Kind regards

another month just to find out whether he is actually up for adoption what if they rule with the parents?
Stress levels are high and now gonna stay like that til 6th sept sorry to grumble but I'm not a happy bunny

 

[aimze]

Dream thats so annoying! When something seems so close and then is pushed away another month its so harsh! i really hope this little one is just waiting for you and it all works out! When will you find out more?

I thought that was the case for changing name...It was more for example if the child was called Aimz an I'm called Aimz or the same name as my husband etc.

x

 

[dreamofabean]

Thanks hun.
We get to give the child a middle name and surname once they are legally adopted

 

[karenh]

Dream, sorry everything got pushed back a month that is so hard. Shame on those people who didn't do their job and have the paperwork done in time!

Aimze, I would agree with most people here. I do think it depends on the age of the child. I know here in the states when you are adopting and infant you usually can pick the name, however some birth mothers specificaly put in their terms what they want the name to be.

 

[Loski83]

Hi all sounds like everything's having a tough ride on the emotional roller coaster that comes with adoption. Hope you's are starting to feel better and I'm proof that it really is great at the end. Lolly hope everything works out ok with your job.
Dream he will be worth the wait another when you get him xx
My life has just been a bit crazy everyone seems to be in holiday mode and I think we all really need this one. I was talking to my friends Aunty the other day and it turned out she is adopted and what I thought was going to be a nice conversation turned into a nightmare.she hated being adopted and has a big problem with it. She is jealous of her adoptive parents 2 sons and has been for years and went on a horrible big rant of why she's against adoption I honestly thought I was in the worst nightmare ever. I have been grumpy since this happened on Sunday and thinking lo could think like that so I need to get back in a happy positive place lol

 

[aimze]

Loski i think she is a minority!!

My best freind was adopted and she LOVES her AM...She has no interest in looking for her BM and is so so happy with the life that she has had!

Karen I totally agree with age - you can't change a 7yo's name but a 7mo i guess is slightly different...I shall cross that bridge when I get to it...On a plus note - the agency emailed me an said theywould like a social worker to interveiw us...Would the bother interveiwing us if they wanted us to wait 6-12 months or would they interveiw then tell us that?

You guys are great - I'm loving this new support! x