Adoption journey

[zero7]

So sorry that I havent posted in a while- life is so hectic with the LO!!!
I never seem to have any time at all!!! Trying to keep on top of normal things like shopping, cleaning, paying bills etc = nightmare!!!!Don't care though, because pickle is just gorgeous!!!!

The intros went well. Very intense and so glad its over. The handover was very emotional and left us feeling very drained. Pickle has been home for two days now and we are loving it- knackered but loving it!!!

Hope everyone is doing OK. XXXXXX

 

[Milty]

Oh yeah!!!!

It is so much work but you love every minute!!

 

[zero7]

Question for those who have adopted (particularly Loski as bubbas are similar in age).

Did you notice any of the grieving process at all? Pickle has been fine with us all through intros and for the first two days. Today she seems like not herself. She is very very up and down- one second smiling/laughing next second crying and seems quite frustrated. She wants us then she doesn't. She is normally very happy but today she seems sad

I suppose she could be teething maybe but feel so sorry for the little pickle. She's gone down for her nap but cried quite a bit before she fell asleep.

XX

 

[Milty]

Do you have a picture of her foster care family? You might show her that and see her reaction. Try it When she is upset if she stops that's what it is.

Or

Put that teething gel on her gums and see if it settles her for a minute.

 

[dreamofabean]

Aww poor little pickle! Bless her! Must be confusing for her. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job though Hun! I bet you're just constantly in cloud 9!! X

 

[Loski83]

Hi zero we had exactly the same with our lo couple of days really up and down and unsettled but then she settled into a normal routine again. We didn't show any photos of ff as we got advised not to as they said she needed to detach from them. After 6 weeks when we met up with ff again as we had to she was really unsettled again for a few days. Hope everything else is going good and that you and oh are enjoying being mammy and daddy xx

 

[zero7]

Thanks hon. Our SW suggested showing her the FC's photo, but she said it was our call as sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We have decided not to.

You just feel for them don't you? Poor little mites

Oh well, we will just stick to her routine, comfort her as much as we can and keep our eyes on her....

XXXXXX

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Zero it must be so hard, nothing you can really do at this stage other than what you are already doing I'm sure her little head is just a bit confused, but with all the love you are giving her I'm sure she will settle into her routine soon. You are doing brilliantly Mummy

Hi all!! TFI Friday tomorrow Hope you are all well?

Ps.... manager got her letter, all sealed, present and correct, apparently with 'in strictest confidence, to be opened by the addressee only' stamped on the front

Lolly x x x x x

 

[fluffystar]

Hi Ladies, I hope that you dont mind me joining you?

We are really early on in the process and reading through this thread (though admittedly not all of it as there are 59 pages!) and your stories it seems both daunting and magical at the same time.

We have been to an initial information evening with one LA and are going to another in a couple of weeks so we can compare. We came away from the first session quite negative but I think it was more of a wake up call about the whole process. We plan to send the questionnaire back for both and see where we get.

We were told by the first LA that they only ask you to commit to them once you are offered a place om the prep course but up until then then encouraged us to get as much information as possible and check out other LAs - se we are!

I have a few worries about things which may make us unsuitable, such as our support network as we have only lived here a few years, and the fact that I would like to return to work albeit part time after taking a year off.

I look forward to getting to know you lovely ladies.

Fluffy xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Fluffy!! Welcome, the more the merrier! Definitely ring round, look at both LAs and VAs (pros and cons for both - as with anything!) And don't be put off, some SWs have a terrible habit of selling you the hard line, but it is to ensure your commitment from the word go!! And once that word is said it is manic, so they need to know you are strong enough to cope at this time in your life.

I also am going to go back to work part time, and they are quite happy with this. I plan to take a year off. We don't have a massive support network as I moved 400 miles to be with DF so most of my close family and friends are far away. But as DFs family are here, my parents come up regularly and I speak with friends etc regularly, SW is convinced that we are very stable. Work colleagues and neighbours are also good. They won't just look at direct contact, but those you speak with on the phone etc, as well as these types of forums and service available in your community (children's centres, groups etc). Plus, once you have been on prep I am sure that you will meet new friends to add to that network.

You will be just fine

Happy Friday all! Christmas shopping tomorrow, woooooo!! xxxx

 

[puppymom32]

Zero so glad you guys are doing well. It could also just be pickles age. Xav has days where he is whiney and doesnt want me and then wants me its almost as if he doesnt know what he wants and being at an age where they cant tell you what is wrong is tough. You will get through it I promise.
Lolly so glad your boss got the letter without anyone else finding out.
Welcome fluffy
Hugs to everyone else.

 

[Lolly1985]

everyone!! Happy weekend, hope you are all having a brilliant one

SIL rang today. She is clearing out nieces bedroom ready for the Christmas influx! She has offered some books as they are like new. For a minute I thought she meant I could take them into work. Then I realised she meant for us and our future LO

 

[zero7]

Thanks for all your words of support lovely ladies! X

We have had two great days with pickle. She has been happy, has slept very well and is enjoying her food. We took her to soft play yesterday and she loved it. We had a slight incident of clashing of heads with another little one, so a few tears!!!! She was fine though and mummy got lots of 'mumma' cuddles!!

Hope everyone is OK

Hello and welcome to fluffy!

XXXX

 

[Loski83]

Lolly that's great I hope you said yes.
Zero I'm really happy that she has settled back down and mammy cuddles are lovely aren't they xx
Hope everyone has had a good weekend and welcome fluffystar.
Our lo has now got 4 teeth but she has been poorly all weekend from her injections hope she starts feeling better soon. Also the best news ever is I got robbie Williams tickets I'm so excited

 

[slb80]

Zero that is fantastic news! Lolly that is lovely I hope you snapped her hand off. Hope everyone is well?

 

[Butterfly67]

Wow slb looks like congrats are in order

Zero hope all is great with LO

Loski hope LO feels better soon

 

[slb80]

Thank you. Still in shock!

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi all!!!

Hope you are all well? Hope all the mummies are having wonderful times with their littlies

Congratulations Slb, what a turn around for the books!!

Session 3 today Went really well She was with us nearly 2 hours. We talked all about our relationship, how we got together, how things progressed, how we cope with stresses, problems etc, what is important to us as a couple, what is trivial, our biggest challenges, how our relationship will change when a child is placed. Then I cried We were talking about whether either of us had made any sacrifices for the other. DF said that I had made the biggest, moving 400 miles to be with him. I said he had, coming into a relationship knowing that there was IF issues, and a very real prospect of not having a birth child. I said he had given that up to be with me, and SW said 'and that is unconditional love'... so of course I burst into tears!!

Medicals the week after next, then next 2 sessions 3rd and 10th January She said that we did really well and again said that she was very pleased and had no concerns

Because of the weather our little kitty was bored he trampled all over SWs papers, sat on her lap, tried climbing in her bag and then bit her thumb!!! Ooopsies!!

Hope everyone is well Love Lolly x x x x x

 

[slb80]

Sounds like it is all going great! x

 

[Loski83]

Congratulations slb80 so happy for you xx
Butterfly good luck with your appointment hope it goes great x
Lolly sounds like your hs is going great not be long and you will be at approval panel so happy that its all going so smoothly. Your cat sounds funny lol.
Zero I hope little pickle is settling in well.
Hi to everyone else and hope you all have a good weekend.