Adoption journey

[Lyns]

Lovely news Ipen.....congrats, and fingers crossed all progresses well xx

How frustrating Lola, hopefully you'll hear soon xx

 

[Loski83]

Congratulations ipen that's great news xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi all

How is everyone?

Ipen, bet you are still on How is the shopping coming along?

Well MIL had her visit from SW yesterday. Bless her she tried to make a cheese cake but it didn't set so she mad buns instead which apparently SW wolfed down!! Not a surprise as all she gets with us is a coffee They had a good chat and SW asked things like how would MIL be supporting, how do me and DF support each other, what type of child could she see in the family, how had we recovered since IVF. I thought it was quite a lot of questioning seen as she is not a referee and my parents didn't get that, but as someone has pointed out that as MIL was super nervous it probably seemed like a lot of direct questions when realsitically it was more a chit chat. She was just on edge. But sounds like it all went well.

After that S and BIL had their interview as out family reference. Not sure how this went yet, but we are all meeting up tonight, and is all honesty I know SIL would have breezed through it. She loves anything like that!!

Second reference is being visited next week and we have our final HS appointment. The hold up as I have said before is our referee out of area. She still hasn't heard from a SW in her area and I'm thinking that if there is no contact by end of next week then May panel is off But what will be will be I guess, what is a month when this is the rest of our lives.

Getting very anxious as we come to approval, DF tells me I am being silly, but when you have wanted something so bad for such a long long time, and had so many knock backs over the years it can get hard. But we will get there and it will be great.

Love to you all,

Lolly xxxxx

 

[ipen44]

Lolly--shopping is going swimmingly. We had everything ready for her in 48 hours! I wish I had not shopped so fast! Now I have nothing to do but wait. Well, I still have work, but who can concentrate on that .

I travel for work so it will be a bit of a trick scheduling everything around the birth since we don't know when it will be.

It is hard not worry when you have wanted to be a mommy for so very long. At every little step (even now), I worry that something will go terribly wrong. We have had so many signs that this baby is meant for us. They come at just the right time and keep me from going crazy.

Praying and hoping we all celebrate a very happy Mother's Day by at least next year!

 

[puppymom32]

Hey lovely ladies hope all is well. Yesterday we celebrated Xavier's adoption day. Cant believe its been a year since he officially became ours. Good luck to you all and hang on cuz its all worth it in the end. Me and hubs had a little ice cream cake with him.

 

[Lolly1985]

Big big congratulation puppy!!! What a beautiful picture, you must be so proud of your boy. Hope you all shared a very special and happy day! xxx

 

[LolaM]

Looks like we are contacting our SW supervisor. We havent heard ANYthing from her since the begining of March, when we were supposed to have another home visit, and were trying to find out what happend to the last 2 references, one of which couldnt be faxed bcause SW fax wasnt cooperating! She isnt returning emails or phone calls

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi girls,
Hope everyone is well! Lola how frustrating
Well we have a panel date!! Eek! 18th June so very excited! Had a long session this morning (3hrs) where we discussed our support network and what kinds of children we would consider. It made me feel really guilty saying no to some children!! Did you all feel like that? I just had to look at it objectively, we need the child that is right for us. Feel very guilty though!!

 

[LolaM]

Hi girls,
Hope everyone is well! Lola how frustrating
Well we have a panel date!! Eek! 18th June so very excited! Had a long session this morning (3hrs) where we discussed our support network and what kinds of children we would consider. It made me feel really guilty saying no to some children!! Did you all feel like that? I just had to look at it objectively, we need the child that is right for us. Feel very guilty though!!

Of course but we had to be honest about what we could and couldnt handle

 

[dreamofabean]

Yeah that's how I saw it. Feel so guilty though, as every child deserves a loving home. They're just not all perfect for us x

 

[LolaM]

Yeah that's how I saw it. Feel so guilty though, as every child deserves a loving home. They're just not all perfect for us x

I wonder if they were asking the same thing of us. Ours was things like "a chld that harms animals" "a child with no manners" "a disturbed child" "a hypersexual teenager" " a blind child"

 

[dreamofabean]

Yeah, all of those and then a whole list of special needs too x

 

[LolaM]

Yeah, all of those and then a whole list of special needs too x

Hmmm...Our trainnig was called PS-MAPP. I tried to look for the child selection sheet to see what else was on there, but I guess we only got 1 copy of it and turned it in to our SW, who is filing our paperwork on the 10th, NEXT Wednesday. Why she waited so long, I dont know. She will be doing a final home inspection on Monday.

 

[Lolly1985]

Lola Dream

That is all fab!! I hope to be joining you in the soon....

So tomorrow is hopefully our last homestudy session. All the documents are laid out on the coffee table (although naughty kitten keeps knocking them off!) Family trees done, pet assessment done, home health and safety form ready to go, Ecomap done and all colour coded to say whether our support is practical, pre-planned practical, emotional, virtual (ie, you guys!!! ) or professional.

Only little worry is that DF is missing one payslip (hopefully if we show his wage on the bank statement we will be ok) and they want our P60s which won't be ready for 3 weeks. But other than that everything is good to go.

For some reason I feel sick with nerves, maybe it is as she is meeting reference number 2 straight after, or maybe I am just terribly worried of falling at the last hurdle I just hope we are good enough for them

 

[melly2]

Hello All,

I am new to this forum thread. My husband and I are considering adoption, so we are in the discovery phase currently. We have been married 11 years, both 37 and have only tried to conceive this past year. However, my husband had testicular cancer two years ago, which has left him basically infertile. Of course, our doctor has suggested IVF, and I'm incredibly reluctant to do this because of the health implications for both mother and child (it amazes me how many people jump into IVF without considering this). We're also not set on having a child with our genetics...adoption has always appealed to me. Anxious to hear about everyone's journeys as I know this can be a stress, but rewarding experience.
-Mel

 

[LolaM]

Hello All,

I am new to this forum thread. My husband and I are considering adoption, so we are in the discovery phase currently. We have been married 11 years, both 37 and have only tried to conceive this past year. However, my husband had testicular cancer two years ago, which has left him basically infertile. Of course, our doctor has suggested IVF, and I'm incredibly reluctant to do this because of the health implications for both mother and child (it amazes me how many people jump into IVF without considering this). We're also not set on having a child with our genetics...adoption has always appealed to me. Anxious to hear about everyone's journeys as I know this can be a stress, but rewarding experience.
-Mel

Honestly, adoption has been less stressful than TTC. That isnt to say it is totally stress free, but there has been less disappointements and setbacks and every month, AF shows up, I know I made the right choice. I am from an adopting family, wasnt LEGALLY adopted myself but we adopted each other, so its very natural to me, my husband is very easy going and very patient and incredibly supportive. I believe the Universe has a plan, and the Universe sent me a kind, loveing patient husband.

 

[Loski83]

Hi everyone and welcome melly2. Sorry I'm not on very much sounds like everyone is coming along great though.
We have had quite a bit happening spent a night in hospital with lo they thought she had meningitis but turned out to be a viral infection thank god. So had a very groggy, twisty little one for a while. Christening almost all sorted and I very excited for it.
On Tuesday coming our little girl is legally all ours and we had our official last ever sw visit on Tuesday gone. Celebration day should be a couple of weeks from Tuesday but we don't have a date yet. So excited for this Tuesday for little miss x to be ome little miss ours xx

 

[dreamofabean]

Lola that's great news
Lolly all will be fine but I definitely understand your nerves!!
Loski what wonderful news xx

 

[melly2]

Hello All,

I am new to this forum thread. My husband and I are considering adoption, so we are in the discovery phase currently. We have been married 11 years, both 37 and have only tried to conceive this past year. However, my husband had testicular cancer two years ago, which has left him basically infertile. Of course, our doctor has suggested IVF, and I'm incredibly reluctant to do this because of the health implications for both mother and child (it amazes me how many people jump into IVF without considering this). We're also not set on having a child with our genetics...adoption has always appealed to me. Anxious to hear about everyone's journeys as I know this can be a stress, but rewarding experience.
-Mel

Honestly, adoption has been less stressful than TTC. That isnt to say it is totally stress free, but there has been less disappointements and setbacks and every month, AF shows up, I know I made the right choice. I am from an adopting family, wasnt LEGALLY adopted myself but we adopted each other, so its very natural to me, my husband is very easy going and very patient and incredibly supportive. I believe the Universe has a plan, and the Universe sent me a kind, loveing patient husband.

Thank you so much for your insight. I could see how adoption could actually be less stressful, because you know that you're making some sort of progress in the journey, and you know the eventual outcome. TTC is such an unknown and so many different variables. Can I ask what agency you used? we are looking into a local agency here in Texas.

 

[puppymom32]

Lots of awesome thing going on in here!!!!

melly2, Welcome which part of TX are you located in my husband and I adopted our son from Texas.