Adoption journey

[Loski83]

Andrea vent your issues on here anytime you want, we're all here for the good and the bad times.

 

[aimze]

Big hugs Andrea...I'm sure some days are really tough, and then you have an amazing day an it's all worth it xx

 

[Lolly1985]

I was going to say the exact same thing Andrea. Yes there is lots of happy news on here at the moment, but it's not always that way, and getting all the bad off your chest can be a small step closer to feeling more positive again. So vent way if need be, we are all here for each other, good and bad Thinking of you lots

Lola, wow, that is intense. I can understand why you are thinking you will decline for now. Must be hard though.

Love to all

 

[karenh]

They asked if we wanted to adopted baby boys 2 siblings. I told them hubs and I have to discuss it but I think we r gonna have to decline.

Wow, that would have been a shock. How old are baby boys siblings? What a tough decision to make. I hope you two are able to agree on whatever you decide.

 

[dreamofabean]

I agree with the others Andrea, sending you lots of love xx

 

[Lolly1985]

So today I have bought bath toys, a box of wet wipes, gel teething rings (the ones that you cool first in the fridge), a cute top that says 'little giggler' on, books from The Book People (free delivery code DHFREE) and we have reserved a pine chest of drawers on offer at Argos, hooray!

 

[dreamofabean]

Yay!! Sounds fab lolly how exciting! I bet it feels a lot more real now you're buying things for your little girl x

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Awesome you get to get all the fun stuff so happy for you Lolly!!

I like the fact the girls are siblings but taking on two kids at the same time can have it's rough days I suppose!! They hardly understand anything we say and it makes it really frustrating....it's very hard to communicate with them. They have an appointment coming very soon that can get us some extra explaining on their conditions...

One of the hard things is discipline...if they don't understand what we are saying then should we punish them as if they were half normal to teach them...we have so many questions I'm hoping they get to see a behavioralist so we can have questions answered about just normal daily things. We were told our 6 year olds speech will likely never improve and I'm fighting with the school board on getting her in special needs classes because she cannot learn at a normal pace or even retain information more than a few hours....

But thanks for letting me vent yesterday was super tough and I was even called a doo doo head lol so I got a laugh out of that!!!

 

[LolaM]

I was going to say the exact same thing Andrea. Yes there is lots of happy news on here at the moment, but it's not always that way, and getting all the bad off your chest can be a small step closer to feeling more positive again. So vent way if need be, we are all here for each other, good and bad Thinking of you lots

Lola, wow, that is intense. I can understand why you are thinking you will decline for now. Must be hard though.

Love to all

my instinct is to say yes, but thinking about it i just dont see the logistics of it.
How can we not, but even with state money, im not sure if we can properly care for them, this house is jsut too darned small and we are locked in until the market goes up and we can get this place sold

 

[Lolly1985]

Andrea, it sounds like your girls face many difficulties and your frustrations show how much you care. You want support in place to allow them to reach their full potential, you are a wonderful mum! With the comprehension difficulties have you thought of adding visual support, so gesture, signs or pictures? Objects of reference can help them transition, for example you add a representing object to the language, maybe a bag to symbolise school or a sponge to symbolise bath time? Children who don't understand expressive language need lots of visual clues to get by. Plus keep what you are saying really simple (1 or 2 words) It's easy to say, 'go and put your shoes on, they're by the table', but less is easier to process, 'shoes on' and show the shoes. Repeat many times. You are probably doing lots of this, just some thoughts (got my work head on now!!) I really hope answers and support come your way soon xxxxx

 

[dreamofabean]

I think that's great advice lolly
Well we gave munchkin's CPR and medical info in our hands. I have to say its quite a sobering read there are a few issues that hadn't been mentioned by Sw so I'm guessing she missed them in report. Dh is reading it currently so we shall see what he thinks!
Sw still hasn't got info on the other child but will send it on once she has read it. All she said was that he was born in feb! So he's still a bit warm from the oven
Exciting he's so young but we need to make a firm decision on little man first anyway!
Hope everyone's having a good day xx

 

[karenh]

Lolly sounds like you are having so much fun getting ready for your little girl. How exciting! Seems as though you are doing a great job!

Andrea: Raising children with special needs is so challenging, but I am sure you know, it is also so rewarding. Please feel free to vent here, that is what we are here for. No judgment. I really hope the people doing your evaluations can be of some help to you.

Lola: This has got to be so hard. If your instincts are saying yes, then maybe that is what you are supposed to do and everything will work out. This has got to be so scary and overwhelming. You are in my prayers.

AFM: My bishop said he sent in the paperwork, but didn’t tell me either way whether he recommended us or not. Now I am waiting for my SW to get back from vacation. He gets back tomorrow so hopefully I will here then whether we can move on or not. I hate the sit around and wait parts!

 

[Lolly1985]

It's so difficult isn't it Dream. You sound to be looking at the whole picture objectively, which is so important but so hard with all the emotions involved. Wow, other little man is a tiny one!! It is of course all very exciting, but very hard going at times

Karen, course he will recommend approval. You are so committed and dedicated to this journey and being a mummy!

Lola, your decision sounds really hard but equally sensible. For your boy, his brothers and you and hubby.

Oh girls, I am so stupid and upset. I think we have accidently thrown our approval ratification away in all our mass cleaning, sorting and tidying. Not where I thought it was and can't find it anywhere. Feel so stupid. Do you think we will need to evidence it for matching panel? Probably. Really overly upset about it all!!!

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah Hun, I can't imagine you will need it! The agency should have a copy. I'm sure they should have a copy on your file anyway shouldn't they? Worth asking your Sw x

 

[karenh]

I think that's great advice lolly
Well we gave munchkin's CPR and medical info in our hands. I have to say its quite a sobering read there are a few issues that hadn't been mentioned by Sw so I'm guessing she missed them in report. Dh is reading it currently so we shall see what he thinks!
Sw still hasn't got info on the other child but will send it on once she has read it. All she said was that he was born in feb! So he's still a bit warm from the oven
Exciting he's so young but we need to make a firm decision on little man first anyway!
Hope everyone's having a good day xx

That has got to be so hard. I have been thinking a lot today about what would happen if the child we are chosen for has medical problems. My little three week old niece is still in the NICU because she has heart issues. It is so hard to decided what you are willing anf able to work with. Good luck. I hope you and your hubby are able to make the best decision for you and the little ones.

 

[karenh]

It's so difficult isn't it Dream. You sound to be looking at the whole picture objectively, which is so important but so hard with all the emotions involved. Wow, other little man is a tiny one!! It is of course all very exciting, but very hard going at times

Karen, course he will recommend approval. You are so committed and dedicated to this journey and being a mummy!

Lola, your decision sounds really hard but equally sensible. For your boy, his brothers and you and hubby.

Oh girls, I am so stupid and upset. I think we have accidently thrown our approval ratification away in all our mass cleaning, sorting and tidying. Not where I thought it was and can't find it anywhere. Feel so stupid. Do you think we will need to evidence it for matching panel? Probably. Really overly upset about it all!!!

Thanks for your vote of conifedence! I wish I was so sure. Too bad I know all our history.

I am sure you will be fine. I can't imagine that there wouldn't be a copy in your file if you need one for matching. If you don't find it soon just call you SW and ask. She seems like a gem anyway.

 

[aimze]

Lolly I'm sure they'll have a copy..,

Karen isn't waiting just awful!

Dream big decisions there! Sounds like you're close!

Afm....randomness alert....I started leaking breast milk yesterday, totally threw me & I've been down sinc...my hormones are obviously everywhere after my mc 3 weeks ago...taking a cocktail of angus castus & St. John's wort which apparently sorts hormones out!

Open evening @ local agency tomorrow...SO excited! X

 

[Loski83]

Lolly you don't need it we lost ours the same way I think, the agency will have it on record we got another copy of ours but have never used it for anything.
Lola you have some hard decisions hope it all works out.
Dream enjoy reading your profiles hope it's not too hard to pick between them.
Andrea hope you manage to sort some help out for your girls. Hi to everyone else.
We got little ones passport today it's so nice to see her name on it felt very proud and now we can definetly go on holiday.

 

[karenh]

aimze: sorry your hormones are so out of wack. That would have thrown me for a loop for sure! Good luck at your meeting! Let us know how it goes.

loskie83: Yay! Congratz on getting her passport. Just in time for a great family vacation! Enjoy!

 

[dreamofabean]

Thanks girls
Ah Aimze that must be hard Hun I remember I had the same after a laparoscopy, it totally threw my hormones out! A couple of weeks later it had totally cleared up but can imagine after your recent mc it's much harder
Well dh and I have had a good read and discuss and come to a decision we both feel is right. This little chap is adorable but not for us. There are added difficulties that we weren't made aware of and they're scary. One issue we could deal with, but 2 is just a bit too much of a gamble.
We will call our Sw in the morning as we feel that we need to do it ASAP to have closure. So now we wait on other chappy's CPR.
Thank you all for your lovely comments, it's so nice to have support xx