Adoption journey

[LolaM]

Baby boy walked tonight!!! We have been putting him between us and setting him on his way, he usualy takes 1 or 2 steps and then will leeeeeeeeeeean for us to catch him, but this time, he walked a good 3 ft back and forth between us several times!!! He has bronchitis so cant go to daycare so mama is going to stay home with him tomorrow.

 

[dreamofabean]

Thanks loski
Ooh Lola what a clever boy! How old is he now? X

 

[LolaM]

11 months

 

[aimze]

Lola how exciting!!!! Yay

Today SW sent me a profile of a 6month!! I didn't think we'd see a baby!!! I replied back saying yes more info but iv started to learn on our 3rrd profile when you ask for more info we so far haven't had one peice back! Would be amazing to bring him home but I'm not feeling optimistic about it!

What's everyone doing this weekend? It's glum an raining here! Really wanted a long dog walk x

 

[Rainy123]

It's funny how different authorities so things differently isn't it. In my La they will only let me see one profile at a time. Until I've made a decision I won't be shown another.

I had a pity night last night so need to snap out of it today and get on with life with a smile on my face - starting with a trip to tesco, this may prove difficult!

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Rainy I'm really sorry, I know they need to be sure etc etc, but it's frankly so cruel to mess with people's emotions like this :'( hugs and more hugs xxx

Loski, good for you!! That's brilliant news and you'll have so much personal insight that will help you and others you work with. Plus your childcare background. Really happy for you!

Aimze how exciting! Little pink was 6 months when we got her profile! Well no, she was 7 and half but the profile was written with the title 'meet 6 month old xxxx'. There were a few we didn't hear back from either but if it's meant to be it'll happen hunny!

Lola that's great, he's off now, no stopping him. It's great fun but watch for all the new bumps and bruises! Heehee!

How is everyone? Hope you're all enjoying your weekends xxx

Today little pink was taken out for the morning by her Auntie, Uncle and cousin. She had a fab time and mummy is finally relaxed enough (14 weeks in!) to feel happy with this!! I missed her like mad though even if it was only for 3 hours!!

 

[LolaM]

yes! we have moved the coffee table to storage because he kept klunking his head on it, I was afraid he was gonna catch the corner and take out an eye! now he has lots more room to move around, but he prefers to sit on the dogs if they hold still long enough for him to park it! hes a dog lover for sure and he is starting to work on some words. right now he is yelling at me from his crib but my floor is wet so he will have to stay put whilst it dries!

 

[aimze]

Rainy so true how they're so different! We've 3 profiles we like pending questions but it's looking like we won't get answers!

Awwww lolly so sweet you missed little one!

Rainy I really hope you get to matching soon!! Xxxxx

 

[karenh]

Rainy: I am so sorry they pushed out matching and are looking at other people. I really hope you get good news in 2 week.

Aimze: How exciting that you have found another little guy. Hopefully you don't have to wait too long to hear about him

Lolly: It sounds like times have been tough but little loves you. It will get better.

Loski: How exciting that you are going back to school! It would be so fun to help others find their families like you did.

Lola: Yay! How exciting that little man walked!

 

[Lolly1985]

Today birth parent meeting was confirmed for later this week.... the nerves have officially kicked in! But while I feel sick to my stomach I know we are doing the right thing

 

[aimze]

Well bbc1 is a barrel of laughs

 

[dreamofabean]

Lolly I think you are definitely doing the right thing! I would have really liked to meet little mans birth parents but it's just too close to take that risk.
Aimze I didn't watch it as I know it'd just upset me and I already think far too much! X

 

[Loski83]

I didn't watch it either Aimze what was it like?
Lolly we where supposed to meet birth mother during intros week but she never turned up. Good luck with it I would of liked to met ours.

 

[karenh]

good luck with meeting the birth parents. We have to do it before we get the kid. They pick us. Talk about terrifying.

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks everyone, we have drafted 5 questions and have been asked to bring a recent photo of little pink. They want it on one of our phones so there is no option of them keeping it. We have been told to talk a little about little pink and what her interests are and how she is developing. Also they feel it would be nice to say something along the lines of 'she's petite, I can see she gets that from you', or 'you have the same colour eyes'. They think birth mum may get angry, then upset and then want to hug us. Apparently her emotions can be over the top and she gets very familiar. They also want a photo of us together so that it can go in the life story book to demonstrate birth mum gave her permission for us to be mummy and daddy . Little pinks social worker has been to birth mum's house and they have arranged for her to pick her up on the morning of the meeting. Apparently birth dad has refused to attend, but we'll see on the day. I can't believe it's nearly here, I'm really very nervous, but then I'm sure she is too xxx

 

[aimze]

Ladies it was awful...I had a bad day anyway then just sat an cried..I found it really unbelievable doctors can diagnose one set of fractures an a baby is removed straight away...it was proved these babies possibly had vit d defeciency but it was too late as they had been adopted which is irreversible but like DH said for every child incorrectly taken there are another X amount never removed...

An then channel 4 are doing a different spin on Wednesday about family finding, all too emotional!

 

[aimze]

Lolly sounds like it will be a really emotional day Hun! But very worth it in the end!

Xx

 

[dreamofabean]

That's exactly it Aimze. There is a reason why children are taken, whether it is rightly or wrongly in the end, it is to protect them. I hate those kind of programmes as it gives a really harsh view of social services. Yes they're not perfect, but look what could have happened to lots of our babies if they hadn't intervened!
That said, there is a prog on weds night that I plan to watch that appears to be about those adoption activity days like we attended! X

 

[aimze]

Dream this is it, to me it's bad social services where portrayed that way..in actual fact if a Dr is making a misdiagnosis then it's their fault, social services are only working off supplied evidence

 

[Lolly1985]

It's really sad but that's why they have made the panorama programme, because it's controversial news and certainly not the norm. They have focused on a few isolated cases out of the thousands of children in the care system. Sadly this leads to people being educated wrongly about most modern day adoptions and adds to the stigma which infuriates me. I haven't watched it but it has been recorded if I feel strong enough to watch it at some point. But dream is right, our babies were removed to safeguard them, and if it hasn't happened there may have been a different programme showing all about the failings of social services and another Victoria Climbie or Baby P scenario. Very sad. I am looking forward to the one on tomorrow though, think it should hopefully be a lot more positive.

Sorry you had a bad day. Hugs xxx