Adoption journey

[dreamofabean]

Ours was all very delayed so I can't really say. We met fc the day of match panel and didn't meet health visitor or doc at all, but there were no health issues. We were told panel dates quickly but obv ours kept being delayed due to court. Our sw came out with his sw and they had already drawn up the dates for panel, intros etc x

 

[Lolly1985]

We got all provisional dates there and then in the linking meeting, then they were confirmed the following week by email. When is your meeting Aimze? How are you feeling? xxx

 

[aimze]

I wrote a lovey response earlier, all soppy ha but it disappears

Basically said you lot are amazing! I'm so grateful for your support and you're like a group of close freinds I've always known!!!

Lolly I really hope we can get dates in the meeting!!! I'm super excited but anxious incase they don't like us! Just want some dates booked in so can have something to look forward to!!!

Lolly are you finding out the gender? X

 

[karenh]

Hi guys, sorry I haven't been on. I don't have a computer at home. FYI in case you haven't read my blog our adoption is on hold until I find a job. The whole month of January I was a nanny but it wasn't permanent and didnt have benefits. I hope you are all doing well. Until next time...

 

[aimze]

Karen great to hear from you!!

How is looking for jobs? Xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Karen, sorry to hear that really hoping your next post brings positive news on both the job and baby front

I really hope you get dates too Aimze, we did because both social workers and the family finder all had to coordinate diaries so it made sense for them to plan there and then. Ahh, how annoying your post didn't save! But that's lovely hun, I definitely feel the same. It's a lovely thread full of support and long may it continue

Yes we will be finding the sex out but mainly because I'm a control freak and need to plan ahead!! Heehee!

 

[aimze]

Lolly I'm a control freak which is why this lack of control is sending me mad!!! Babies not around the corner either so does make sense to coordinate together!!!

X

 

[aimze]

Does anyone else frequently get told this?

"Oh i'm sure as soon as you adopt you'll get pregnant and then you can have your own baby"

I'm starting to get really annoyed and hurt by it, especially because its people i deem close saying it...I keep responding saying any child of my is my own baby but they dont get it! I'm going to snap if I hear it again!

x

 

[Nicki123]

Aimze, when I was looking into adoption close friends would say this to me too. They just weren't thinking and it would drive me MAD! I would reply and say no because I would go on birth control, as if I was going to do it I wanted my heart to be in 100% and i wasn't seeing it as a back up plan. That usually shut them up. (I would also have to remind them I can get pregnant easily, but I've had a lot of mcs so their comment really wasn't valid!) people just don't think before they speak sometimes.

My current pg is a total blessing but DH and I have decided we are definitely going to adopt #2 as we got so close this time, and are really excited about it. It something we really want to do. I am waiting for a raft of inappropriate comments / questions about that!! I hope everyone will see both children as ours equally.

 

[Lolly1985]

Do you know what, I can't really comment about the possibility of it happening for obvious reasons! But I was told it numerous times and it drove me insane. I sat arguing about it with a colleague at our Christmas do (albeit already pregnant!) People would say hopefully now you've relaxed you'll get your miracle. I would always say I have my miracle and she's all I ever want and need. Of course we are delighted to be expecting but this changes nothing. Little pink is still my miracle, my dream come true. She is my first child and these children will always be totally equal. Our parents have all said this is their own words to which fills me with relief. I will encounter someone at some point I will shout at about this, I already know that, but so far everyone totally gets it. We are lucky in that respect. Adoption is wonderful, we've had such a positive journey and are so blessed, I wouldn't ever change a thing. I hope people can always understand that because I'm so proud.

Nicki I think your plan is wonderful. You've been through so much to have this baby. Enjoy being a mummy for a while and hopefully you'll never have to feel the heartache you did before when you go for number two xxx

Well I've taken little pink to get weighed and measured this morning. She is now 19lb 2oz and nearly 71cm, tiny! But they could see how healthy and active she is so no concerns, I just have a little dink on my hands. But then again I'm only 5ft 2 (well, just under!!) so I figure we're each others perfect match

Love to all xxx

 

[aimze]

Aww lolly she is a little tiny one bless her!!

People don't think before speaking...grrrrr!!!

Nikki sounds like an amazing plan how's everything going?

X

 

[Nicki123]

Lolly it sounds as though you have wonderful friends and family, with the right attitude! I'm glad to hear your little pink is doing so well

Things are good here thanks Aimze. I'm really excited about our plan, although this pg is going well (touch wood etc) it's hard not be anxious about it sometimes and it does feel good to know I won't have to go through ttc or pg again because the last four years have been emotionally exhausting! The weird thing is, when I was younger, I always said I thought I'd have a biological child and adopt one (without knowing any of what was in my future) and it looks as though this is what will happen

 

[Lolly1985]

I always said that too Nicki! Although I suppose I've done it the more obscure way it's nice its all coming together! Glad to hear all is going well hun.

No Aimze, people don't think, it's infuriating. But I figure people are just ignorant and hopefully the people that matter will get it and if not with time and explanation learn to understand.

Two weeks today until the first court hearing ladies!!

 

[aimze]

Ahhhhh lolly how amazing!!! I'm so excited for you all!!!

X

 

[aimze]

Where's loski been? X

 

[dreamofabean]

Eek lolly! So exciting
Strangely I remember talking about adopting from a very early age too! It's crazy how the universe almost prepares you! Hee hee.
As for comments... Oh yes, all the time! Talk if his 'real mom' erm, that's me! His 'proper family' etc, people just don't understand it!! The worse comment I've had is from mil who is very well known for putting her foot in her mouth! How I didn't smack her I don't know!! Little man's bf had a shady past, he made some huge mistakes but was just repeating something he had experienced. I'm sure you guys get the picture. Mil said 'I hope he doesn't turn out like that too.' unbelievable! No, our boy won't! He isn't in that household and won't have the life experiences that led to bf's actions. It made me furious and I let her know I wasn't impressed and that no, it's not genetic!
I'm slowly learning to develop a tough skin! After all, there's no cure for ignorance, we should pity them really!

 

[aimze]

Dream you deserve a medal for not whacking her one!!

I don't think I'll be so patient with mine as we already hate each other!

 

[LolaM]

It always amazes me what people think they should have an opinion about when its really none of their business. I have been told to "relax" on more than one occasion, but if i were any more relaxed i would be comatose, and i HAVE said that to people.

 

[Lolly1985]

It's really so bang out of order, I honestly can't believe some people. Lots just don't think, but that's just as bad in my book. Just be thankful for those in your life that truly do get it. I sometimes think there is a fine line though with my in-laws. Little pink is so part of the family and all ours adoption isn't a consideration. But sometimes it has to be, for example talking about life story work, her history and identity. We can't just brush it under the carpet, and don't want to. It's tricky, but I would rather it this way round than the other xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Totally agree lolly! There will always be that part of our lives due to how our babies started life. We are very proud of it but there is the tendency with others to think it should be forgotten... But it's their identity and how could we?!