Advice needed for fussy eater - 17 month old

[MummyCat]

Hiya,

I'm asking this on behalf of a friend (Colette). Her daughter Emily is about 17 months now and Colette has been seriously struggling to get her to eat properly. Apparently she doesn't seem to have too much trouble with breakfast and lunch is not too bad as Emily will eat ham sandwiches... but her main meal at dinner time is a nightmare.

She only seems to eat fish fingers/chicken nuggets and anytime she's offered nice food with meat/veg she point blank refuses to eat it. Colette says she's tried sooooooo many things... like trying to feed her for over an hour but Emily gets into a very angry upset state, she's tried making the mealtime fun, she's tried limiting dinner to 15 min, she's tried feeding her while her and hubby eat, also tried feeding her at different time to her and hubby. She's tried to disguise veg in sauces with pasta, she's even tried not giving her an alternative to the food if she wont eat it, thinking when she gets hungry she'll have it, but no... Emily will just stubbornly be content on her bottle.

I've naturally got no experience of this sort of thing yet as Lottie is our first child so was wondering if any of you with similar experience might be able to recommend something I could suggest to her? She's nearing depression with this as she has begun to hate meal times and feels like an awful Mum as all she wants is to make her daughter healthy fresh meals.

Many thanks and kindest regards,

Catherine

 

[Loz75]

I would ask a health visitor for some advice. It could just be a phase. Also I would check how much milk she is getting. If she's having a lot of milk she may not be fussed about food.
Is it something recent or has it been going on a long time? Some things affect it like teething, hot weather etc.
I would just be inclined to keep offering different foods - a little bit of the meals that they have for tea. I still make some batches of stuff like macaroni cheese, fish pie, risotto so I have something in the freezer that I can give if I havent got much in.
Has the LO got many teeth - if not, maybe somethings are hard to chew, maybe try softer foods?
If she is really worried, ask a HV and get some multi-vits for babies. x

 

[Loz75]

I would ask a health visitor for some advice. It could just be a phase. Also I would check how much milk she is getting. If she's having a lot of milk she may not be fussed about food.
Is it something recent or has it been going on a long time? Some things affect it like teething, hot weather etc.
I would just be inclined to keep offering different foods - a little bit of the meals that they have for tea. I still make some batches of stuff like macaroni cheese, fish pie, risotto so I have something in the freezer that I can give if I havent got much in.
Has the LO got many teeth - if not, maybe somethings are hard to chew, maybe try softer foods?
If she is really worried, ask a HV and get some multi-vits for babies. x

 

[beancounter]

My mum said never to force the issue- she would just leave sandwiches and other finger foods around for them to munch on while they played and act like she wasnt bothered because if you make it into a big deal then the eating problems continue on because the toddler knows it upset mummy and gets a lot of attention and its all a bit of a power struggle.

I don't have first hand experience though, but I have friends who tried to force them to eat 'properly' and said they regretted it because it was probably a phase, and forcing them to eat turning it into a longer term issue. I hope other people have some good ideas!

 

[MummyCat]

I would ask a health visitor for some advice. It could just be a phase. Also I would check how much milk she is getting. If she's having a lot of milk she may not be fussed about food.
Is it something recent or has it been going on a long time? Some things affect it like teething, hot weather etc.
I would just be inclined to keep offering different foods - a little bit of the meals that they have for tea. I still make some batches of stuff like macaroni cheese, fish pie, risotto so I have something in the freezer that I can give if I havent got much in.
Has the LO got many teeth - if not, maybe somethings are hard to chew, maybe try softer foods?
If she is really worried, ask a HV and get some multi-vits for babies. x

I think she has discussed this with a HV, and has tried everything they suggested... Emily's been like this for months now I think. Good point about the milk though... I'll check with her. I remember her saying that Emily was a struggle with her bottles too when a baby! She has about 12 teeth now... so still more to come and doesn't teeth well apparently.

I'll suggest that she keeps trying with different options and things that may be softer or of similar consistancy to her fish fingers!

Thanks so much for your response... I'll def make sure I ask her about multi vitamins!

 

[MummyCat]

My mum said never to force the issue- she would just leave sandwiches and other finger foods around for them to munch on while they played and act like she wasnt bothered because if you make it into a big deal then the eating problems continue on because the toddler knows it upset mummy and gets a lot of attention and its all a bit of a power struggle.

I don't have first hand experience though, but I have friends who tried to force them to eat 'properly' and said they regretted it because it was probably a phase, and forcing them to eat turning it into a longer term issue. I hope other people have some good ideas!

Ta Bean... that makes sense. I think she's so tired of it being an issue that's why she has just been giving in after trying her with her cottage pie (for example) and has the oven on the go with the fish fingers as backup... she just doesn't want to fight it any more.

I'll suggest to her what you have to me hun! Thanks for your response!! xx

 

[beancounter]

can she make her own fish finger like foods? Jim made lentil rissoles yesterday, they were nutritious and nice and could fool a kiddie into eating em i reckon! plus they were finger type food so it would be easy to leave them on a plate. I remember my uncle declaring he would only eat lamb and my gran got round it by serving everything with mint sauce... because it was the mint sauce that made him think it was lamb. have to be crafty sometimes...not sure it is goodto have fish fingers to fall back on- surely they would learn that if they dont eat thier dinner they get fish fingers?? instead of if they don't eat their dinner they get hungry?

 

[ani]

beancounter,
any chance of getting that lentil recipe...?

 

[beancounter]

i think it was this one ani:
https://forums.naturalparenting.com.au/recipes/1094-lentil-rissoles.html

 

[MummyCat]

can she make her own fish finger like foods? Jim made lentil rissoles yesterday, they were nutritious and nice and could fool a kiddie into eating em i reckon! plus they were finger type food so it would be easy to leave them on a plate. I remember my uncle declaring he would only eat lamb and my gran got round it by serving everything with mint sauce... because it was the mint sauce that made him think it was lamb. have to be crafty sometimes...not sure it is goodto have fish fingers to fall back on- surely they would learn that if they dont eat thier dinner they get fish fingers?? instead of if they don't eat their dinner they get hungry?

Ahh...sounds brilliant! I think I'll send her that link! Yeah, I'm hoping they can find something crafty to help her. I was surprised to see her give in so easily and have the oven on... but I didn't want to say anything as I've not been the one dealing with this for months on end... it would seem rather patronising of me to suggest she's giving in to soon! It's difficult as I want to help her without making her feel any worse as a Mum!