After IVF. . . .

[maaybe2010]

Ok so I've not even had my first IVF yet but. . . I like to keep my options open and stay as informed and decided about them as I can.

If IVF fails for us we still want a child.

We have briefly talked donor sperm and of course I would much rather have my OH's baby, but I am absolutely fine with donor sperm.
OH said he wouldn't want it to be a stranger, but instead someone close like his dad or brother, I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

What are people's opinions on this and if you were / are ever to be in that situation would do you think you would do / are doing?


x x x x x

 

[JaniceT]

My FS gave me a run through on this some time back. He said if sperm donor was chosen, it's preferable to be someone close, so you have all the details of the medical history.

However, it's very awkward to have his father donate sperm. Sounds a little too 'incest' in my honest opinion. At the end of the day, you need to think of the long term consequences before making that decision. All the best to you.

 

[maaybe2010]

Thanks for replying hun,

I don't know why but whenever I post in LTTTC I get lots of views but no one ever replies!

 

[Springflower]

Have they suggested ICSI instead of IVF? That method gets a good fertilisation rate, I'm not sure you would need to use donor sperm.

I agree with Janice, I'm not sure about your OH's Dad doing it, but it's whatever makes you and your OH comfortable.

I would try not to focus too much on after IVF, I think you have a long way to go before you need to think about donors.

 

[wrightywales]

hi hun

we are using a donor for our ICSI that we dont know, through the hospital. i would consider using a friend but not a family member as i think it is just a bit to close to home for me. we have had offers off both friends and family but i really did think it could make things awkward between us and the family member so we just said no.

hope the ivf work hun xx

 

[maaybe2010]

Have they suggested ICSI instead of IVF? That method gets a good fertilisation rate, I'm not sure you would need to use donor sperm.

I agree with Janice, I'm not sure about your OH's Dad doing it, but it's whatever makes you and your OH comfortable.

I would try not to focus too much on after IVF, I think you have a long way to go before you need to think about donors.

Yeah definatley ICSI.

I'm just worried cos OH has had 100% anti sperm antibodies on his samples and I know that can increase MC too. . . .

We won't be able to have more than the first two goes for financial reasons so if they don't work

I want to be able to be prepared for whatever comes next, I don't want to have something fail to sit around thinking what shall we do next. I want to know what we're going to be doing after each option so we can move from one to the next rather than sit around watseing time deciding when we can do all the deciding now

I suppose if I'm never going to have a child then I would rather know sooner than later

x x x

 

[Deb111]

It's a difficult one hun. Personally, I wouldn't like the idea of using his Dad's sperm. Hubby and I have talked about it as we may need to face that issue. He doesn't have any brothers and can't really think of anyone who would offer but we would both rather use an unknown donor.

Personally, if hubby had a twin brother, we may consider it as you wouldn't be able to get a closer match, but I still don't think hubby would like the idea and I can see why.

I'm just not sure it's ever really anything that could be put to one side. I would feel like it would be on my mind and their's whenever we met up with that person.

I do understand about knowing about their medical history etc, but tests for donors are very strict these days and from what I understand, you are given quite a lot of info about them these days.

By the way, if your hubby taking any medication to help? I'm sure I've read about things that can help

I wish you all the best and hope it's something you don't have to face xx

 

[JaniceT]

Here's an option, my 1st FS mentioned that in 1 cycle, if you have many eggs retrieved, they can actually use both your OH's sperm and also a sperm donor of your choosing. You can opt that they do not tell you which egg is fertilised by which person's sperm. If fertilisation and pregnancy occurs, you and OH can 'assume' it's his sperm and not the donor's... if you can both live with that of not knowing.

 

[maaybe2010]

It's a difficult one hun. Personally, I wouldn't like the idea of using his Dad's sperm. Hubby and I have talked about it as we may need to face that issue. He doesn't have any brothers and can't really think of anyone who would offer but we would both rather use an unknown donor.

Personally, if hubby had a twin brother, we may consider it as you wouldn't be able to get a closer match, but I still don't think hubby would like the idea and I can see why.

I'm just not sure it's ever really anything that could be put to one side. I would feel like it would be on my mind and their's whenever we met up with that person.

I do understand about knowing about their medical history etc, but tests for donors are very strict these days and from what I understand, you are given quite a lot of info about them these days.

By the way, if your hubby taking any medication to help? I'm sure I've read about things that can help

I wish you all the best and hope it's something you don't have to face xx

Poor thing has been on supplements for around 8 months now . . . .
FS offered some medication but said "they're not very effective, we might get a trickle of people get pregnant while on these", the other treatment is ICSI

Here's an option, my 1st FS mentioned that in 1 cycle, if you have many eggs retrieved, they can actually use both your OH's sperm and also a sperm donor of your choosing. You can opt that they do not tell you which egg is fertilised by which person's sperm. If fertilisation and pregnancy occurs, you and OH can 'assume' it's his sperm and not the donor's... if you can both live with that of not knowing.

I'm sure that would work for some people but I wouldn't do it.
I couldn't cope not knowing and would end up doing a DNA
I would always be thinking that it wasn't my OHs.

x x x

 

[JaniceT]

Here's an option, my 1st FS mentioned that in 1 cycle, if you have many eggs retrieved, they can actually use both your OH's sperm and also a sperm donor of your choosing. You can opt that they do not tell you which egg is fertilised by which person's sperm. If fertilisation and pregnancy occurs, you and OH can 'assume' it's his sperm and not the donor's... if you can both live with that of not knowing.

I'm sure that would work for some people but I wouldn't do it.
I couldn't cope not knowing and would end up doing a DNA
I would always be thinking that it wasn't my OHs.

x x x[/QUOTE]

LOL yeah I agree. I told my Doc 'NO' too. It was nice though, that he gave me sooo many options from sperm donors to ovarian drilling to meds.

 

[maaybe2010]

Here's an option, my 1st FS mentioned that in 1 cycle, if you have many eggs retrieved, they can actually use both your OH's sperm and also a sperm donor of your choosing. You can opt that they do not tell you which egg is fertilised by which person's sperm. If fertilisation and pregnancy occurs, you and OH can 'assume' it's his sperm and not the donor's... if you can both live with that of not knowing.

I'm sure that would work for some people but I wouldn't do it.
I couldn't cope not knowing and would end up doing a DNA
I would always be thinking that it wasn't my OHs.

x x x

LOL yeah I agree. I told my Doc 'NO' too. It was nice though, that he gave me sooo many options from sperm donors to ovarian drilling to meds. [/QUOTE]

Aww we like our doctor too
It's nice that you feel supprted by him!