Am I being selfish?

[chelsnblake]

So I breastfed my son who is now 3 months old. I love breast feeding and the bond that I have with him because of breast feeding. However, I have the summer off for mat leave and feel like I want to enjoy myself without worrying about pumping while I'm away or messing up my milk supply. A part of me wants to stop breast feeding when summer comes because formula feeding gives you more freedom. But then another part of me would miss breast feeding so much and I'd feel extremely guilty if my son reacted badly to formula.
So I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting more freedom this summer, but the kind of job I have it's super difficult to get time off and it's like this is my only time to enjoy the summer and not worry about work. Ugggh, I don't know what to do!
Any advice??

 

[Noodlebear]

You want to stop breastfeeding so that you don't have to worry about it and the purpose of maternity leave is to have time to recover and be there for your baby not to try and have a party summer. While I see absolutely nothing wrong with switching to formula if you want to and feel comfortable with your decision, 'technically', yes you're being selfish. You just have to do what you think's best.

Also formula means more shit to carry around, more washing up, more expense etc. Bottles have to be used within a certain amount of time after being made if they're not refrigerated (which isn't really recommended) so I definitely don't agree that it gives you more freedom, life would've been much easier if breastfeeding had worked for us.

 

[kirstybumx3]

I couldn't breast feed and reading this it does scream selfish at me. If you are ready to swap to formula, fine. 3 months is great. But saying you would regret it doesn't sound like you are. In all honesty I am positive formula feeding is much more of a faff than breast feeding. The pumping would just be replaced with lots of sterilising and making bottles. And to be honest making up fresh bottles when out and about can sometimes be a bit of a nightmare. But this is a decision only you can make and from your post it sounds like you are undecided. Just remember once you have stopped and your milk goes, you can't change your mind so make sure you are ready. And i am sure you will still have a great bond with LO formula feeding btw. I've never felt less of a bond because I don't breast feed, although I imagine it is a lovely feeling to feed LO your own milk. I would've loved to have been able to. You are lucky.

 

[aimee-lou]

Ff-er here. Ffing is not a faff in my opinion. Its nothing to feel guilty about and happy mum makes for a happy baby. If you really don't want to give up what about combining to gradually come off it/ give yourself more time? I have never bf so maybe i'm biased but i just think life is to short. The best thing us to follow your gut xx

 

[Sinead82]

I felt as free as a bird when I started ff. I just always kept a couple of cartons of ready made in my changing bag and it was just pour and go! Washing the bottles takes 5 min and pop in the steriliser so no hassle for me there either.

Honestly you have given your lo a brilliant start and I would also say to follow ur gut. Could u combine and maybe do the evening / first morning feed yourself? It's your decision and please don't let anyone make u feel guilty either way. We have enough to feel guilty about as mums!!

You may get some flak on here too which is fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion but be prepared, it's a big question to ask on a forum like this lol x

 

[Wugz22]

Don't feel guilty at all! Instead, good for you for breastfeeding as long as you did! I keep giving myself little mini-goals for breastfeeding, and at each milestone, I give myself another one, or I'll stop. It's up to me. Right now I'm shooting for 6 months, which will be right around summer as well. If I'm still enjoying BFing, I'll keep going, or else I'll wean and won't feel bad about it at all.

 

[meli1981]

Youre not being selfish at all! Its your choice! You do what feels right for YOU as well as baby!

 

[Ashla]

I breastfed my first until 12 months and am currently breastfeeding this LO. And I totally know what you mean about having more freedom. It isn't just about being close to baby in case he/she needs a feed. I hate not having the freedom to take medication (eg cold and flu tablets, diflucan) and having to be extremely careful about what I put in my body in general. Also, my first would not even drink expressed breast milk from a bottle so I basically couldn't have a drink or go out on my own for the first 12 months

So, I say if you want to stop breastfeeding, you should. Giving your child the best start in life is about lots of different factors and breastfeeding is a big commitment. If you will be happier formula feeding and if this allows you to be more engaged with your LO when you are around him/her then that is better than resenting the imposition of breastfeeding.

Perhaps it is selfish, but a baby's health is determined by the mother-baby dyad (what's good for mum and not just what's good for baby).

Whatever you decide, you'll get no judgement from me

 

[JessPape]

Your not being selfish at all! you gave your baby a great start, breastfeeding for long periods isn't for everyone. ONLY you and your baby can decide when you are ready to stop.

 

[staralfur]

When I was uncomfortable with nursing in public I used to pump and bring milk in a bottle, and I found that a lot harder. I think BF generally gave me more freedom because I was able to feed her anywhere, anytime without having to worry about warming bottles or having a bottle out for X amount of time and wondering if it's gone bad, etc. I guess I don't necessarily understand how bottles = freedom?

 

[meli1981]

Some babies dont stay on for a full feed....my lil guy will feed but then get distracted and keep popping off...biting etc....i then have to pump to finish "emptying" my breast as i just had mastitis.....not having to worry bout feeding in public as some of us may not be completely comfy with it...and not having to worry bout pumping etc....would equal more freedom imo......not that IM stopping nursing...but i can see how hard it can be for some and how "tied down" you coyld feel

 

[shoelaces17]

I am also breastfeeding and I kind of don't understand, this is such a short period in your little ones life where it will really benefit him to get your breast milk and your probably finally at a point where you have it down pretty good, so why stop now? Sorry but I think you are being selfish but it's also not my choice either, I'm sure your lo will be fine in the end but just realize you may decide to quit but he might not accept formula when he can still sense your milk is there.

 

[Pink Petals]

Technically, yes. But it is your right to make the decision either way and you should do what you feel is right. It depends on how strongly you feel about it and only can you can make the decision. Good luck.

 

[zorak]

No not at all. I breastfed until 4 months when I returned to work. I fully admit it was so I was no longer solely on duty for night feeds and I didn't want to pump at work.

I firmly believe a happy mummy makes a happy baby.

 

[zorak]

I must also add my supply was starting to dive anyway so when lo got given formula he seemed relieved!

Bottles dont have to be more faff. We use a thermos with boiled and slightly cooled water so no waiting on kettle etc.

 

[chelsnblake]

By freedom I mean having the luxury of leaving my son with my husband for however long I want and not have to pump during my time away. I signed up for a 10k run for charity but am now realizing I won't be able to do the run if I'm still breast feeding. Also, my sister is having her bachelorette party in another city an hour away which I won't be able to attend either if I'm breast feeding.

 

[Pink Petals]

By freedom I mean having the luxury of leaving my son with my husband for however long I want and not have to pump during my time away. I signed up for a 10k run for charity but am now realizing I won't be able to do the run if I'm still breast feeding. Also, my sister is having her bachelorette party in another city an hour away which I won't be able to attend either if I'm breast feeding.

Wow. Baffled. Personally, I would never give up BFing LO for those reasons. But to each their own I guess. If those things are more important to you, then I guess you've made your decision and you should do what's right for you.

 

[Tweeks]

Regardless of how you feed your child... How is it possible to have "freedom"? I understand that you can go out/ go to a hen party but the way you've made it sound is like you want a pre-baby summer... I don't understand that. Ultimately I think if you even have to ask this question, you know the answer in your own mind. I hope whatever you choose though, baby and you will be happy as that's the most important thing.

 

[Eleanor ace]

How far off are your summer plans? If they aren't for a few months (not sure what you count as summer- for me it is one glorious weekend in August lol) I would hold off making any definite decissions. Your LO might be feeding less often then, if it is once you've weaned, or other factors might make you decide to stop (or continue) breast feeding anyway.
If you don't feel entirely happy with stopping bf'ing then you could try combi feeding, especially if you're not going to be away for long periods of time. For your sisters bachelorette party, for example, your OH could give LO formula while you're away and you could pump- which although you aren't keen on the idea now, should be less time consuming once LO is feeding less often, as you won't need to pump so often.

 

[kbwebb]

I do this formula is a bit annoying due to cleaning bottles and how long the milks ok for etc like pps have said. Just thought I'd add that my lo didn't like the ready made milk and would bring up the entire feed and then cry for hours following. They are made up differently ingredient wise than powder so that's something I'd watch out for.