Am I being selfish?

[AP]

. And everyone in the family needs to be happy, not just the LO

I think this is the most important thing to consider and I don't for one minute find the OPs decision selfish.

 

[jessicatunnel]

I think it's selfish to stop for the reasons you stated, but if you truly just don't want to breastfeed anymore, then that's your choice, you don't have to breastfeed.

 

[Noodlebear]

It will only really benefit the OP, so I don't understand people saying it isn't selfish because it absolutely is. It's whether or not you agree that it's fair for a woman to stop just because they want to. I'm very supportive of people making their own choices and don't for one minute think that you should BF if you really don't want to but of course it's selfish if you choose not to so that you have more freedom.

 

[aliss]

Choose what you wish but I wouldn't bother with the prepping and expense for something like a 10k. You can still nurse and do that, maybe you should look at combo feeding or pumping. A 3,month old is still a 3 month old and summer freedom has little to do with feeding methods. I have formula fed one and breastfed the other, I had more freedom when nursing and not worrying about transporting bottles everywhere!

 

[shanny]

have not read all the responses do what suits you its not selfish its life......... but I loved moving to combi feeding --formula during day when out and about morning and night bf - more freedom -- and a great way to continue bond

 

[shanny]

just read responses makes me a bit sad

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Choose what you wish but I wouldn't bother with the prepping and expense for something like a 10k. You can still nurse and do that, maybe you should look at combo feeding or pumping. A 3,month old is still a 3 month old and summer freedom has little to do with feeding methods. I have formula fed one and breastfed the other, I had more freedom when nursing and not worrying about transporting bottles everywhere!

I agree with this. I also did a 10K when my LO was 8 months and I was still bf'ing her (I did until she was 11 months old). I started giving her occasional bottle of formula here and then when she was 6 months old. At that age, they're not on the boob as they are now so you will be surprised how much things with change

 

[maisiemoo]

Really irritating that the judgement card is bring played in this thread. By asking "am I being selfish?" Is a request of judgement. In this instance I think Yesyou are, but I'm a stranger on the internet and it really doesn't matter what I think. I would say, do what you want, don't invite criticism and go with whatever you want to do. You're not answerable to anyone and definitely don't need to justify yourself.

 

[Tasha]

I def dont think you need to worry about the 10k and BF (unless you have some distance to travel etc). I did one in 2008, 4/5 weeks after section (yeah dont recommend that ) and was BF. So it is possible.

Also I dont know where you are but summer feels a long way off here (UK), so you might feel differently by the time it actually gets here.

Other than that, I say do what you want, what works for one family/baby&mummy might not work for another.

 

[zorak]

Jeezo, some people are so judgmental!

A happy Mummy = equals happy baby. I personally found breastfeeding very tying and totally get what the OP means about 'freedom'. When I stopped at 4 months it was bliss having DH do the night feed or to go out for a bit without LO or even having to consider how to deal with my full boobs.

To the OP; well done for getting this far! We did have to try a few different formulas before finding one that worked for LO so be prepared for that. He is thriving though and I still feel like I gave him a good start and that we made the right choice for us as a family by moving on.

 

[special_kala]

Of course it's selfish, it will be done for your needs only but selfish decisions are not always the wring one.

 

[Googiepie]

I really don't think you are being selfish. There is nothing wrong with wanting some time to enjoy yourself. I wanted to breastfeed but couldn't. Like someone else said, maybe try combination feeding. You could still breastfeed but also have more freedom while going out and whatnot.

 

[Quartz]

Yes you are being selfish but thats ok being a mum does not mean you need to be a martyr its ok (and necessary) to make decisions for yourself everyday (lets face it haven't we all ignored a whiny baby just to finish a cup of tea).

That said bf a 6 month old (which is what I assume they will be when summer starts) is totally different from now - feeds are further apart, they should sleep through much better and you can start weaning.

My advice is leave it (if you are happy other than that) until the 6 month point and maybe start combi feeding as part of weaning.

 

[Foogirl]

I think the "selfish" word is so over used and ridiculous TBH. There are myriad decisions we make as parents every day which we do for reasons that suit ourselves. Dressing a 3 month old baby in jeans and a t-shirt when he would be more comfortable in a sleepsuits, just because he looks cute. That's a decision based on what you want and not what the baby needs. Selfish? Using a dummy because it helps quieten them down instead of the time consuming and often frustrating method of trying to soothe without it. Selfish? Buying jarred meals instead of cooking because you don't have time, or energy, or even the wish to do it. Selfish?

We all make decisions and for the most part they involve looking at what will work for us. Sure one could argue that BFing is absolutely the best way to feed a baby but using formula isn't exactly going to leave a baby malnourished, and any long term effects we keep being told come from it are far more attributable to what you feed your children for fifteen years, rather than for 6 months. Formula does no harm to a child so it's crazy for anyone to be considered selfish for wanting to take advantage of the convenience it can offer.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Very well said ^

 

[_jellybean_]

I don't think you're being selfish. Agree with what Foogirl said.

 

[MommyJogger]

By freedom I mean having the luxury of leaving my son with my husband for however long I want and not have to pump during my time away. I signed up for a 10k run for charity but am now realizing I won't be able to do the run if I'm still breast feeding. Also, my sister is having her bachelorette party in another city an hour away which I won't be able to attend either if I'm breast feeding.

Since it was asked, yes I think it would be a selfish decision to make. If hubby is around to watch baby, then he's around to take baby to your 10k. It's 1 bottle to pump and you may not even need to at that point anyway because even if you walk the whole way, it'll take only a couple hours to finish, maybe an hour and 15 if you line up early and then have to wait at the finish for them to load your bib tag if it's not chipped. Most race directors, if you contact them and let them know you're not competing for the pot and are bf, won't even care if you properly start or finish, esp for a charity run. You could feed lo, start your run right away, and then finish and exit the chute from the side to get to lo, you'll just have to keep your own time because you'll be recorded differently in the results. We finished a 50m and made a decent attempt at the pt200-mile across the country while bf at under 12mo and then barely over 12 mo and it honestly wasn't that faffy to do while bf about every 2-3h on demand.
If it's really just these two things that are important to you, then it really doesn't sound like it's worth it to risk the decreased health of your lo. You'll still be able to do them, despite the impression you have that you won't be able to (?). It really just sounds more like you're wanting to go out without lo a lot during this vacation, but honestly when you have very young kids (especially an infant), vacations (especially if you work, from the pov of someone who worked full-time through my son's infancy) should really be about spending quality time together with lo or as a family rather than figuring out how much time you can squeeze in to do all the things you could easily do pre-baby. No one is saying you need to give up everything, but honestly when you have a baby, your priorities have to change. I'm not sure I know anyone, bf or ff, who still has frequent enough non-work-related baby-less outings to make much of a difference in convenience of feeding method, especially when they spend a lot of the year already experiencing prolonged separations due to work commitments. That's not to say you shouldn't have the outings, but if you're struggling to figure out how to do a certain frequency of luxuries while maintaining the standards lo already enjoys, maybe you should reevaluate how many luxury outings you think you need to feel recharged this vacation?
If you still decide you need to get out and party and make the switch, that's your decision, but it's important to consider all the different options rather than just the one you're focusing on in your op.

 

[shanny]

I think the "selfish" word is so over used and ridiculous TBH. There are myriad decisions we make as parents every day which we do for reasons that suit ourselves. Dressing a 3 month old baby in jeans and a t-shirt when he would be more comfortable in a sleepsuits, just because he looks cute. That's a decision based on what you want and not what the baby needs. Selfish? Using a dummy because it helps quieten them down instead of the time consuming and often frustrating method of trying to soothe without it. Selfish? Buying jarred meals instead of cooking because you don't have time, or energy, or even the wish to do it. Selfish?

We all make decisions and for the most part they involve looking at what will work for us. Sure one could argue that BFing is absolutely the best way to feed a baby but using formula isn't exactly going to leave a baby malnourished, and any long term effects we keep being told come from it are far more attributable to what you feed your children for fifteen years, rather than for 6 months. Formula does no harm to a child so it's crazy for anyone to be considered selfish for wanting to take advantage of the convenience it can offer.

So well put - shouldn't really say this but the whole jeans cute v comfy bugs me lots!!

I think all this lady is musing over is can she take advantage of the time she has off before going to back to work to do a couple of things for herself (is there anything really wrong with that? ) and how she can fit this round the baby.............

 

[Sinead82]

I think the "selfish" word is so over used and ridiculous TBH. There are myriad decisions we make as parents every day which we do for reasons that suit ourselves. Dressing a 3 month old baby in jeans and a t-shirt when he would be more comfortable in a sleepsuits, just because he looks cute. That's a decision based on what you want and not what the baby needs. Selfish? Using a dummy because it helps quieten them down instead of the time consuming and often frustrating method of trying to soothe without it. Selfish? Buying jarred meals instead of cooking because you don't have time, or energy, or even the wish to do it. Selfish?

We all make decisions and for the most part they involve looking at what will work for us. Sure one could argue that BFing is absolutely the best way to feed a baby but using formula isn't exactly going to leave a baby malnourished, and any long term effects we keep being told come from it are far more attributable to what you feed your children for fifteen years, rather than for 6 months. Formula does no harm to a child so it's crazy for anyone to be considered selfish for wanting to take advantage of the convenience it can offer.

Love this post 😊

 

[mum22ttc#3]

OMG the judgement on this thread seriously?
Some people really need to get over themselves.

OP it is totally your decision, if you want to formula feed for whatever reasons then that is your choice, no one else's.

I have formula fed all 4 off mine from birth so perhaps I'm a little bias, I have my own reasons and honestly couldn't care less what others think, for gods sake, it isn't a competition. I'm sure we would all do things differently then the next, that isn't to say they/you are right, we just all do things differently, it's life.

I don't think your being selfish one bit, to get to 3 months is great do what you and baby are happy with, not others