Am I going about this wrong?

[hellyspyker]

Okay so, I've been having dreams alot, at least once a week about me being pregnant when thats not possible. My friend says that its because my body's clock is ticking and wants another child.
My first child was adopted out 4 years ago this May. And ever since I've wanted to have another, but my mind always changes, currently I'm not married and have never been, but I do have a guy. (Guy lives in another state)
Sometimes i want to have a kid and other times I dont want to. i'm just not sure anymore. Am i absolutely insane? i work at home so I think that would be good for a child but I'm not really sure. i just want to know what you guys think my dreams may mean. I loved being pregnant before even though I was treated horribly and my story is very bad. I would want to be pregnant again I think because I would want to experience it again in a happier setting.

Tell me your thoughts please?
i'm very open so any questions will be answered.

Helly

 

[Amygdala]

Welcome!
I guess my first question would be: Do you feel you're in a position to have a baby now? Is your relationship stable? Are you planning to live together in the future? Are you emotionally AND financially ready for the huge commitment that comes with planning to have a child?
But then, I'd also consider your past very carefully and make sure you're ok with that. I don't know your story but I'm asuming that it must have been very hard having your first baby and giving him or her away, whatever the circumstances were. Do you think you've dealt with that sufficiently? Or do you think issues might come up again if you have another pregnancy? Maybe it'd be worthwhile to have a look around for some help with these issues now, before they actually crop up.
I also think that pregnancy dreams don't neccessarily mean that your body is telling you to have a baby. The pregnancy in your dreams could stand for a lot of things. And deciding to have a child always has to be a head decision as well as a decision of the heart anyway, so I wouldn't put too much stake in those dreams. Look at your life as a whole - emotions, relationships, future plans, finances, living situation, job... - and see whether a child would fit into it right now. Good luck!

 

[hellyspyker]

I am not in the position to have a child now but I want to stop thinking about it constantly and wishing for it when its obvious even if I wanted to I cant get pregnant at the moment. I do want to actually but the time is not right. I do understand that there are things I need to do first before having a child and I was having a discussion with my fiance on this matter a few minutes ago and he says its the same for him, he'd want to be with the right person and I am that person but the time isn't right yet and even I know that much lol.
And about my other baby, i've dealt with that in the best way I could and i've accepted it, so thats all I am able to do. im happy with my decission I made. With the next baby that wont happen because this time I'm gonna make sure its the right time before I try again, I've learned my lesson! Lol!
We are planning on living together as soon as possible. I'm just starting out at a new job and its going really well and I'll be making good money, I just need to get him off his feet and get him a job so we can live together. I picture everything as a whole and know how to get it but now is not the right time. I do know once we get settled into a place together it will be the right time. We're young but we're not getting any younger and he understands that if I want a baby, that means I want a baby and he wouldn't say no because he wants one too. Not sure if any of this makes sense but thats what I think.