Am I horrible for this?

[proudparent88]

So I have three friends due right around my due date all have found out but me two are having girls one is having a boy and now I am terrified of going to my ultrasound on Friday and finding out because I am terrified they will tell me I am having a boy when I so desperately want my girl. I don't know what to do to keep myself positive and open to whatever it is I hear I have tried telling myself that it's a boy but that is really hard when I have so many others saying to me that they think it's a girl or that they will be surprised if it's a boy ect. I just feel so upset and things I don't wanna do it....I wish this wasn't happening....Am I horrible for saying and feeling this? I just cry all the time because of my fears....

 

[Misscalais]

Don't worry Hun, I found the not knowing was the most tormenting to me. I cried all afternoon when we found out we are having DS3, not one person guessed we'd be having another boy so that made it harder too. But now I know it's not as hard. I still have moments when I get quite upset ( baby shopping, seeing others 'girl' announcements, even seeing little girls in the shops get me down. But I'm bonding with my wee little boy and can't wait to meet him and hold him tight. I love my boy and blessed beyond that he's mine. I just wish I could have had a daughter as well.
Big hope you hear girl x

 

[proudparent88]

Thanks it is hard I know I would come around to the idea of a boy I guess I just really feel that it would be so hard to deal and things everyone almost says that they think it's a girl very few think it's a boy and one I feel is saying boy just to be joking and things he is my best friend. But I just find myself dreaming at night of a girl and calling the baby she or her you know and even while trying to type boy usually I type girl without realizing it. So I guess it's just that hopefullness of the one thing I don't have yet.