am i right to feel so angry??

[missmayhem]

we are getting married in just under 3 weeks.

Sent out the day invites an had issues with RSVP's i think out of the 17 or so invites we sent we had 2 RSVP's back on time and another scribble on a tesco receipt saying they could attend.


sent the evening invites out (to 30 people) and stated on them we wanted a written RSVP

my thinking was i wanted to do a board with the RSVP's on it as a feature for the wedding breakfast, a nice board covered in material to match the bridesmaid dress with the cards attached by mini pegs or something as such.


the date for RSVP's has come and gone and i haven't recieved ONE!! thats right nobody bothered to reply.




i feel so angry and let down, it's a small wedding so we selected a few choosen people who we really wanted to celebrate our day with us, and not one of them has given a toss.

OH got some messages on facebook to accept but only told me about these tonight as i was informing the hotel of numbers.


we have 37 in the day and 30 in the evening, whats even the point of having a DJ??


OH's family aren't coming as we have said no children after 7, the reason they don't want to come is that OH's sister an her kids won't be there. It's our wedding day and they don't want to come as his sister won't be there?? I am livid, I knew they weren't my biggest fan but i didn't think they hated me.

 

[Pink Sarah]

Is it possible that some people are still planning to come just not got back to you yet? Not very helpful for you but they could just be a bit disorganised and not realise you need to finalise numbers etc?
You dont need big numbers for dancing just good music and your best friends.
Hope you hear from some more people very soon and ohs family realise they'll be the ones missing out.

 

[nugget80]

I think when you say no children you have to expect that some people won't come...! Its not really personal.is it possible they think they can force a change of heart from you on no kids rule by refusing to come? As for everyone else imo its just rude not to reply! Have you tried chasing people up by phone and text...? I am sending rsvp with day invites but not eve as am not expecting people to reply as formally. We also have similar numbers to you with 37 for day (including us) and hopefully extra 30 in eve. Oh in charge of entertainment and Will prob be a band...! So a dj for that many people is not a waste, esp as dj Will contribute to overall atmosphere! Am sure it Will all be perfect on the day...

 

[aly888]

I agree with PP over the whole kids thing. I think they're just threatening to not come to make you change your mind. Maybe they're thinking you've said 'no kids' because they think you don't like your SIL. You should both reach out to them and say how much you want them there.
As for the RSVPs, I'm fully expecting to have to chase people up but I know that my friends can be crap at replying to things. Did you say on the invites that their RSVPs were going to make up a feature on the day?

I can understand why you're upset huni. You've still got three weeks. I'm sure it'll all work out

 

[Lauren25]

Did you give your guests RSVP cards or a stamped envelope? I always think this makes people RSVP if they have it in front of them to just tick and box and put in the post, I know it does me!
Also agree with the others about the 'no children' it's your wedding and its your choice to if you have children there or not but if you are going to invite people with children you have to expect them not to attend if you ask me!

 

[lozzy21]

I think having to RSVP by post will have put a lot of people of responding, phone or email is a lot more convenient. I know lots of people who dont keep envelopes.

 

[xMissxZoiex]

We only had one RSVP and the day before my wedding most of my guests said they wernt coming. Thats more of a reflection on my family lol.

No one even turned up to my reception so 30 people came altogether. You just have to remember that its your wedding day as long as you end up married and have a nice day no one else matters. Once you are walking up that isle you wont care about anything / anyone else other than your OH x

 

[missmayhem]

I agree with PP over the whole kids thing. I think they're just threatening to not come to make you change your mind. Maybe they're thinking you've said 'no kids' because they think you don't like your SIL. You should both reach out to them and say how much you want them there.

they are there during the day, just no kids in the evening, mine included... whats really upsetting me is that they are kicking off so much about not seeing SIL's kids, yet they have never met my daughter.

it just hurts that they don't want to celebrate our marriage, but instead want to see other people.

i'm just fed up with me and Inver always being last in there thoughts, they made a specail trip to see both SIL's kids when they were born, one is 3 months younger than Inver and the other is 5 months younger. It's hardly as if we live a 20min walk/ 5 min drive away.

 

[TheNewMrsB]

Hey Hun

You are not alone, we got married last month and i think we had 1 r.s.v.p before the deadline, most came after that if at all.

The most annoying part for me was that my OHs family did not even have the balls to tell us they werent coming and instead complained to his mum and dad that they weren't coming because it was on a weekday (thursday) and why did we have to get married in the week.

His only grandparent could not be bothered to come because his auntie wasnt yet she sent him a facebook message - obviously ringing up is difficult now a days - saying it would be nice if he mentioned his grandad who passed last year in his speech!!

You will soon come to realise as we did that the people who love you will be there no matter what to celebrate with you and they are the people who you really want in your life.

Congratulations on your up and coming big day!

:-D

 

[ellebob]

If SIL doesn't live near you then how is she supposed to take her children somewhere else? Or are you just expecting her to leave with them? I don't really get the practicalities. If someone is going to be looking after your daughter could you offer that they look after the SIL's too so they can come? Otherwise it might not seem to be a genuine invite to the family so they might have taken offence to it.

Personally, if I was invited somewhere but told I couldn't bring my daughter I wouldn't think they really wanted me there but it depends on the person. At my wedding I knew a few couples would prefer not to have their babies there later on so I checked that the hotel would allow babysitters in rooms.

Regardless of all that though, I can't believe how rude people can be not RSVPing! Our deadline is next week and the only people to RSVP, even online, are our family, best man and usher, which is about 25%

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

We didn't have many people give written RSVP's but a few did contact us via text/facebook, the people that didn't contact us, we contacted them.

I can see from the point of view if children can't come what's the point but that should only apply to the people with children not the ones without

 

[ellebob]

Is your OH upset about his family? My OH's brother isn't coming, just because he doesn't want to, and his dad won't come because he can't be bothered to travel outside of his county! But OH really isn't bothered so it doesn't matter. If he is upset, is there anyone else who could have a word with them like maybe the best man?

 

[aly888]

I think they're being ridiculous personally. They can make arrangements to go see SILs kids whenever they want. They shouldn't be using your wedding as an excuse! However, applying the 'no children' rule to your wedding day (which you're perfectly entitled to do and most couples do request no children) does also give people the perfect excuse to not come, whether that's the reason or not. There could be hundreds of reasons for someone not wanting to go to a wedding (expense, travel, other commitments etc) but you wouldn't expect it from the grooms family!!

I agree with Ellebob in that if OH isn't that bothered, and it would seem his family have always been distant with you both, then don't let it ruin your day. Family or not, you'll know that the people who ARE there are there because they love you both and want to share in your celebrations. Why would you want anyone else there?