Am i the only one who thinks this is wrong?

[devon_91x]

So i went to look at a nursery the other day for LO. She wont be going until she gets her 3 year funding and gets 15 hours a week free (my area has a massive waiting list so i have to start putting her name down now) One of the nurseries i went to are open from 7am-7pm. I was speaking to the nursery nurse and she said quite alot of parents place their children into nursery 7-7, monday-friday.

I'm sorry but i just cant see how you can justify putting your child into nursery for like 60 hours a week? Surely you can them up, take them straight there and by the time you have picked them up its home, bath then bed? The lady said she literally gives them breakfast, lunch and dinner. I understand that the parents have the whole weekend to spend with their children but hardly seeing them at all during the week sounds crazy to me but i guess thats just my opinion!

I know parents have to go back to work full time, i mean we all have to earn money one way or another, but if you have such a demanding job which means you have no option but to leave your child in nursery for 12 hours every day then whats the point in having children?

Not trying to start a debate or offend at all (sorry if i have!) but i just wondered if i was the only one who thought this? I couldnt imagine leaving LO for so long!!


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[special_kala]

I can't imagine leaving my children for that long but I'm very lucky to not have too!

you might not mean to offend but I'm sure you will be offending someone. Not all children are planned and also if you have that demanding a career how does that mean you shouldn't have kids? That's not fair at all.

I'm sure those parents love their kids and just want the best for them the same as those who are lucky enough to not need childcare like that.

 

[Indi84]

I guess it's the same as boarding school kids, works for some people.
we're choosing less money and me being with the lo then nursery, because I've always wanted to be there with my kids but am fortunate my husband earns enough to support that.
I can't wait to see the first everything personally!

 

[TryinFor1]

People do what they have to.

But that being said, I don't agree with doing that. I wouldn't go so far to say, what's the point of them having children (no offense!) but that is am awfully long time to leave a child in daycare. But I also had a sahm for most of my life and the only time I went to daycare was for maybe a couple hours after school so I am subjective to staying with your child as much as you can. Some people don't have that luxury though.

I just hope nobody utilizes those hours because that's 12 hours they don't have to take care of a child. That would be pretty awful of people.

 

[devon_91x]

Yeah i'm sure i will be offending somebody but that's not my intention at all. I understand the need to go back to work, i'm going back in April, luckily my mum and MIL are having her a day each then me and OH are going to work around each others hours, so i'm lucky i don't need to rely on childcare whereas i suppose others aren't that lucky. But i just think if i needed to leave LO for 12 hours every week day, and have someone do everything for her during the day, even if it was a family member, i would honestly quit my job and have money problems.

Of course people with demanding jobs should be allowed to have children but if you leave them 7-7 each day surely you're child is going to spend more time at nursery rather than at home? Thats just crazy to me! I'd be so worried about them getting more attached to the nursery worker than me lol!

 

[malotkins]

My son was in nursery 8am until just before 6pm five days a week as myself and my husband both work full time, we have no choice. It was just after 6pm when we got home and got to play for an hour before my husband got home and did the bedtime routine while I got dinner ready. It was tough and there was a huge amount of guilt to deal with. However, I could see how much he loved it and he thrived there. The day was broken up nicely for him so its not like he is just sitting there from 8am until 6pm. He made loads of friends as well. I'm on materity leave now and he still goes two days a week, again, from 8am until 6pm and will be going back full time in September along with his brother who will be 1. In an ideal world I would work 3 or 4 days a week but we just can't afford that.

 

[zoe0504]

Mine's not the exact same situation but my two go in from 8-6 3 days a week and another two days they're with family. It's horrible and hard but I HAVE to work full time. I'm not entitled to any help if I don't work (plus I can't be that kind of person, work keeps me sane!) but I do get help towards childcare. The only reason they don't go full time is so they spend time with grandparents too.
My eldest has absolutely thrived being at nursery but it doesn't make the guilt any less.
I'm not offended by the statement, sometimes things are just the way they are, if I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home for the first few years of their lives then I would. Unfortunately in these hard times I have to pay my bills!!
X x x

 

[Chezzz]

I wouldn't feel like it was wrong. But it's something I personally couldn't so myself.
I feel like such a horrible mummy already knowing I've gotta leave him to go back to work when he's only 6 months. But unfortunately I'm not lucky enough to have an OH that earns enough to support the 3 of us.
I have a car loan to pay off, if I didn't I'd be able to stay home.. But I guess I knew from te outset I couldn't afford to be at home. Luckily ill only be working part time, and OH will be looking after LO while I work evenings and MIL will have him 1 week day while I work.

I do feel for people who have to have their children in that much childcare, but I guess if they're a single mum with a mortgage etc to pay then maybe it's the only option x

 

[bumpbear]

Some people commute and work an 8-6. They're doing their best. I am a SAHM fortunately but I think this thread is ridiculous and hurtful.

 

[special_kala]

For some people its a case of not being able to pay the mortgage rather then just having less money

 

[charlie_lael]

I can't imagine leaving my son for 30 minutes, let alone 12 hours! I mean wow... I don't understand why both parents would have to work 12+ hours five days a week anyway. Unless they have horribly massive debt!

 

[devon_91x]

I think its shocking aswell how much nursery fees are aswell! If i sent my LO to nursery full time i'd only have about £200 of my wages left after paying for her fees, its disgraceful how much they charge!

 

[Noelle610]

Okay, tryng not to get offended... I know you didn't mean this post to come off that way

I work in the events industry. Luckily I handle corporate events and they are mainly daytime affairs, but I work ten hour days (typically 8am to 5:30pm or 6pm). I am the breadwinner in the family (make more money than my husband) and this is the only industry I have experience in. My salaray is essential to our family.

Anyway, I'm lucky that my husband has flexible hours. We drop Charlotte off at daycare at 8am and he picks her up around 5pm. It's not ideal, but this is extremely common in the US, at least in an east coat city. The culture is such that maternity leave is almost non-existent, long hours are the norm in most jobs and both parents must work to make a decent living.

When I got into my field I had no idea what it would mean regarding children. I didn't know they went to bed so early or that I would love and miss her so much.

To answer your questions - My daughter is not more attached to her care-giver than me and she absolutely knows who her mom is. I just cherish my weekends, my mornings and my evenings with her. I'll even take the odd night waking here or there

 

[malotkins]

I can't imagine leaving my son for 30 minutes, let alone 12 hours! I mean wow... I don't understand why both parents would have to work 12+ hours five days a week anyway. Unless they have horribly massive debt!

We don't have any debts and both work full time. Our commute is an hour an a half each way but it was our choice to move out of London.

 

[charlie_lael]

People do what they have to.


I just hope nobody utilizes those hours because that's 12 hours they don't have to take care of a child. That would be pretty awful of people.

It would be, but if people are going to be like that with their kids then maybe it's best that the child is in the nursery anyway.

 

[Broodypants]

I think you are being quite judgemental here, most parents who put their children in full time childcare have no choice and you can bet however bad you think it is will not compare to how crap they will feel having to do this. Also situations change, they may not have planned to have children and put them into full time care, and to say why should they have children in the first place is very unfair. Until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes then you really are not in a position to comment.

Oh and why post something you know is going to cause a fuss and say sorry to cause a debate? For goodness sake, at least have the conviction to stand by your comments when you know they are controversial.

 

[malotkins]

Oh, also, I love the fact my son gives his carers a big hug in the morning.

 

[charlie_lael]

I can't imagine leaving my son for 30 minutes, let alone 12 hours! I mean wow... I don't understand why both parents would have to work 12+ hours five days a week anyway. Unless they have horribly massive debt!

We don't have any debts and both work full time. Our commute is an hour an a half each way but it was our choice to move out of London.

I understand when both parents HAVE to work, you obviously have to take care of your children financially also. I just couldn't imagine leaving your kid in nursery if you didn't have to. ykwim? I hubby and I both had careers, but we didn't both need to have a job to stay afloat then I would totally give up my job to stay with LO. But maybe I'm biased because I'm a sahm and I've never had a career.

 

[special_kala]

Judging those above you is no more ok then judging those below you.

Can you imagine the backlash if someone posted saying how those on low incomes shouldny have kids because they can't provide enough financially for them? Or attacking single mums on benefits?

 

[bananaz]

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to pick and choose their work hours. There are a lot of single parents in the world who can barely make ends meet and who need to work that much to be able to support their families. Your question about "what's the point in even having children?" is a little harsh, TBH. I'm guessing most people who put their kids in daycare for 12 hours a day don't do it because they want to, they do it because they have to, and it may not be a permanent arrangement anyway.

In any case, parents can have strong and meaningful relationships with their children even if they're not around them a lot during the week. Having someone who loves you there to tuck you in every night and feed you breakfast every morning is no small thing, IMO, and there are always weekends and holidays for more relaxed leisure time.

Also, a lot of children really enjoy being in daycare and they form strong relationships with their caregivers. So it's not like the kids are necessarily being deprived just because they spend a lot of time in the care of someone other than a parent. I was in full-time daycare from the time I was 6 months old and then I was in after-school care from age 5 and I still have a very close relationship with my parents, but I also had the opportunity to bond with many other adults and children.