anixety panic attacks and depression surpport group

[topsy]

Thanks pepsichick xxx

They think I possibly have PTSD, from a scale from thing i had to fill in.Have had nearly a year and half of CBT therapy sessions and 7 months of counselling. I can now get out of bed everyday and function, this time last year I couldn't even get washed and dressed and had to have either my BF (now fiance ) or my parents with me, I couldn't be left on my own, I was in a bad place. They also thought I may have had Bipolar, although have now ruled that out.

My GP has said I can drop my tablets down by 10mg which I have done, and cut out my sleeping tablets, I cannot drive on them, so i wanted them well out of my system before we even ttc. My G is happy for me to be on my anti depressants while I am pregnant-Its just me, I am just worried!!!Might look up about Gaba, I have never heard of it!!!

My therapist also said about journals, which i do sometimes do and I have also had to write letter to people. I never would send them, i burn them or shred them.
xxxx

 

[topsy]

Hi. I've had anxiety since I was little. I also have depression and agorophobia. I've cut down my medication since becoming pregnant so I'm trying to deal with that. It hasn't been easy, my sleeping has suffered.

Hi Hun,

I put some drops of lavender oil in the bath before bed or on my pillow, although sorry, not sure about use in pregnancy???? Its horrible when you cant sleep.

Take care xxx

 

[needausername]

Does anyone else do journalling? My counsellor got me to try it and I found it really helps identifying what is REALLY upsetting me or stressing me so I can try better to resolve the problem. Only thing is I have been too depressed and too afraid to do it for nearly 3 months now. I'm thinking of sitting down with my journal tonight after I have watched a dvd.

do you mean like a blog/diary?

i have an online blog www.pepsichic.co.uk but i dont tend to put a whole lot on it about my problems because my family read it and i have never been able to be fully open with them about my problems because they dismissed them when i was younger.

i also blog on a site about my true anxiety problems its a forum for people with anxiety disorders. it also have a chat room you can go in and talk to the other members its a lovely forum. ive found it very helpful if anyone wants the forum link just ask!

More a diary. I asked my counsellor could I type it and she said no....it has to be in writing so you can't edit it.

I've also had to do what Topsy said about the letter writing. I found it a great release at times. Obviously not sent either!!

For sleep, every night I will have hot milk, burn lavender incense, a lavender candle and a lavender oil burner. Works wonders! Since my antidepressant was increased it is rare I have a sleepless night unless extremely stressed but saying that I now have extra tiredness during the day.

 

[littlejenx]

I just want to say im really sorry that you guys are going through this, I had childhood depression years ago and i occassionally have a bad day. I suffer from anxiety on a daily basis but nowhere near as bad as you are explaining.
I wish you many more good days ahead and im thinking of you (sorry if this sounds really lame but I can imagine what you are going through and I wholeheartedly sympathise)
x x x

 

[PepsiChic]

thnk you littlejenx and so sorry for your loss *hugs*

i did really well eysterday and didnt go OTT with my OCD. but i got stressed and anxious in the evening i think i was overtired, ended up yelling at my husband, apologising, crying a bunch and going to bed. BUT when LO woke up at 4am for a feed, DH got up and did it and told me to stay in bed as i needed rest! this is the FIRST time hes EVER done a night feed...

....i dont know whether to be pleased or feel bad that i made him feel like he had to do it?

 

[eblondie]

It's great to see that so many people are writing in here now. It just shows how many people out there are struggling. It certainly helps me to know that I'm not alone that that others have some understanding of what I'm going through.

I haven't been on tablets for a few years now, but there have certainly been times that I have thought hard about going back on them. I was going to go back on them just before I fell pregnant. The Dr talked about it and said it would be fine as long as they looked carefully at what I was taking. Obviously there is very little known about the effects of these drugs whilst pregnant as they can't do research on pregnant women - only look at the effects of women who are on them and later realise they are pregnant. If it was me - I would prefer not to be on medication whilst pregnant but if it was keeping me well then it's better to be on them.

Before I had my LO there were so many days that I stayed in bed until late in the day and pulled the covers over my head. Now, even on my worse days I have to pull myself out of bed to look after him as there is no one else to do it for us. Yes it's hard and some days I don't want to do it.... but there are no choices when you have a LO. Thankfully I also have some great friends who have been there for me when needed.


Oh and Littlejenx... your words aren't lame. It's good to see you posting here

 

[Raggydoll]

thnk you littlejenx and so sorry for your loss *hugs*

i did really well eysterday and didnt go OTT with my OCD. but i got stressed and anxious in the evening i think i was overtired, ended up yelling at my husband, apologising, crying a bunch and going to bed. BUT when LO woke up at 4am for a feed, DH got up and did it and told me to stay in bed as i needed rest! this is the FIRST time hes EVER done a night feed...

....i dont know whether to be pleased or feel bad that i made him feel like he had to do it?

don't feel bad. DH should for feeling like he has been made to do it.

Hope you got a good rest and you're feeling better today. I get like this sometimes. I've been getting really anxious with work and college atm, had a good cry on DH last week, he's good at helping me get things into perspective but sometimes a good cry can make me feel better.

Had a really good weekend. Kate's party went really well. It was a crazy house with so many children under one roof!!! It's Kate's birthday today, we went for a meal with the in laws which was lovely. Thought it would be hard looking back on last year but today I'm just so happy to be here with my lovely little girl.

Thanks for all the sleep tips on here. I've been really struggling to get off to sleep for months. I need to learn to switch my mind off!

 

[PepsiChic]

don't feel bad. DH should for feeling like he has been made to do it.

Hope you got a good rest and you're feeling better today. I get like this sometimes. I've been getting really anxious with work and college atm, had a good cry on DH last week, he's good at helping me get things into perspective but sometimes a good cry can make me feel better.

Had a really good weekend. Kate's party went really well. It was a crazy house with so many children under one roof!!! It's Kate's birthday today, we went for a meal with the in laws which was lovely. Thought it would be hard looking back on last year but today I'm just so happy to be here with my lovely little girl.

Thanks for all the sleep tips on here. I've been really struggling to get off to sleep for months. I need to learn to switch my mind off!

im glad your husbnd is so supportive, mine is, but i do the night feeds because hes normally at work. it was his day off though and he did it bless him.

im so glad Kates party went well! you must fo done great to have enjoyed it so much and the meal with the inlaws sounds lovely

my LO turns 6 months tomorrow, where has time gone? me and DH were planning to ttc for number 2 when LO turns one but MIL keeps making comments of how we should find better jobs and me go back to work and get our lives "sorted" and so forth.

i hate it when she makes comments like that. LO was a surprise we werent financially prepared we we make do, we happily go without and LO has a great standard of living. honestly its none of her business but ugh she does my head in at times. we were over visiting but she got annoying and LO got tired so i got DH to bring me home.

 

[Annunakian]

Just noticed this thread. Thank you, OP, for starting it. I suffer from OCD, Social Anxiety and General Anxiety.

My issues have been pretty well tolerable this pregnancy but have just recently started to rear it's ugly head. I've been having at least 1 anxiety attack a day for the last week or so and it's becoming annoying because I fear that I'm one anxiety attack away from putting myself into labor.

I hope all is well with everyone!

 

[needausername]

yay! I felt fairly ok today! I was nearly my normal self.

Ok...may sound reaaaaallllllly weird but I was getting desperate and I didn't want any more meds increase. With being physically sick I wasn't able to do my normal activities that keep me occupied and even when I was I was still miserable so yesterday I burned some lavender oil and prayed to archangel Michael to protect me and to assist me with getting rid of the negativity others are causing in my life and then to Archangel Raphael to help me with healing.

About an hour later I went off for a sleep. When I woke up I actually felt kind of refreshed and a bit lighter.

This morning....I didn't feel tired and I was chirpy! I was even singing in the shower again! I haven't needed to lie down at all today which is a miricle in itself! Yesterday I spent most of the first half of the day lying down and the day before I was crippled with a migraine because I tried staying away all day.

So for the first time in just over 2 weeks I am sitting up and awake and mobile for more than 12 hours!

Get this....after my snooze yesterday I actually forgot about my prayer. I didn't remember until today after I was thinking how surprising the change in me was.

 

[eblondie]

It is so lovely to read such positive posts from people. It's also great to hear how caring people are here on this forum.... I have read quite a few unsupportive and uncaring messages on bmp over the past 18 months

Raggydoll It's great that the birthday party went well. My little one will be 1 next month and I can't believe where the time has gone. At times anxiety and depression have made motherhood so hard and painful but thankfully it has been worth it. Sometimes I look at my LO and feel as though my heart will break because of how lucky I feel to finally have him.

Pepsichic it's totally yours and your OH decision when you decide to try for another. For some people the time will never be totally right financially to have another baby.... but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't. When it feels right for you then go for it, what ever others may think.

Annunakian, like you, my anxiety came out again with pregnancy. I hadn't suffered badly for years and then I became pregnant and anxiety raised its ugly head. I won't pretend that it has been easy, because it hasn't. The 1st 6months were so hard and it didn't help that I refused to go and see the Dr.... in fact I'm still refusing... but that's because I don't think they will help..... but that's another story. I have found that it's good to talk though and this group is certainly help me... so, welcome!

Needausername, I'm a great believer in prayer too. Some days I think that is the only thing that gets me through. I find that if I wake up feeling ok then it's so much easier... the hardest step was always getting out of bed. Well done on being up and about for 12 hours!!!

 

[PepsiChic]

i think with mental disorders like anixety and depressiont he best cure is support from people going through the same things because honestly how do you describe the feelings and emotions attached to anxiety, to someone who has never experianced it?

needausername - im so glad prayer is helping you. im not a huge prayer person, but i like to sit and meditate with candles or incense because its soothing and somtimes i just need to center myself again.

eblondei thankyou for the support. it really made me question a lot of things when she kept going on. she also keeps psuhing me to go back to work and even told my husband when he went back to her house to talk to his grandma, she told him he should be making me go back to work. i dont get what her problem is, i know she desperatly wants LO overnight, but i dont want that because her 6 year old daughter has major tantrums every bed time and it'll wake him up and disturb him and she wont leave him alone AND she wants to feed him crap lice ice-cream and cookies. i dont think i can trust her to follow my parenting style with him because "she knows best". and on top of all that....i dont think i want to go back to work. i love my job, but ive really enjoyed being a SAHM with my baby. and if i can do that then why would i change? yes we'd have more money and be better financially. but sure me bringing up my baby has just as wonderful benefits?

ugh i dont know it stresses me out to know end when she keeps underminding what i say or do or trying to make me do something i dont want to do. or disgareeing with what i DO want to do.

today i havent been too stressed, but DH just left for work, and im sure in an hour or so the seperation anxiety will kick in like normal. he did however buy me a packet of m&ms to keep me amused.

which is great except for my OCD makes me seperate them by colour :/

Id love to take up yoga as ive heard thats amazing for anxiety. i might find some self-yoga dvds or something to have a go while Lo naps.

 

[Annunakian]

Thank you for the welcome, eblondie and it's comforting to know that someone else knows how I feel with the anxiety and pregnancy.

 

[PepsiChic]

Thank you for the welcome, eblondie and it's comforting to know that someone else knows how I feel with the anxiety and pregnancy.

Welcome to the group *hugs*, how are you coping with the pregnancy? is there things that trigger the anixety about the pregnancy or just other random things?

xx

 

[Annunakian]

Thank you!

So far I have coping well and the triggers seem to flip flop. Sometimes they will come if I'm stressing about something and sometimes it is just out of the blue. I was attempting to relax/nap the other day while ds was watching cartoons, I had to have him turn on a different show because the characters were literally giving me an anxiety attack for no reason. I've been trying to do things to keep the house calm since that is a major trigger. ds has adhd and when he gets wild I go into a frenzy.

Only had a very mild attack today while watch a show with dh, so some days are better than others.

 

[needausername]

Still feeling good today! A bit on the tired side which is to be expected since I was awake for 16 hours yesterday. I am a lot more contented.

Pepsi, I tried yoga a few years back and it was wonderful. My friend asked me to take it up with her again so she is looking out for classes.

I heard the dvds can be good but if you are doing it wrong then you could bend the wrong way and hurt yourself. If you are in a class then the instructor makes sure you are doing it right so you don't cause damage.

 

[eblondie]

My morning started out badly. I had work today.... I've been working all week (I work on supply basis so don't work everyday). My little one slept in which meant that I didn't get to see him before work. This hasn't happened before, so there I was, sat on the sofa with tears streaming down my face. I had to sit and concentrate on my breathing and 'chill'.... and pull it back together... I can't be like this at work as I have too much responsibility. When I got back LO ignored me... which is pretty usual. He always acts as if I have abandoned him! After a while, all is forgiven though. OH said that LO had been asking for me which is pretty sweet It is my choice to work and I enjoy it. I need to still feel like me and not just a Mum. Yes being a Mum is the most important part of my life but I feel as though I'm better working occasionally as it gives me confidence.

Pepsi.... I can't say enough that you have to do what is best for you, your DH and your LO. You will never please everyone else all of the time so as long as you know you are doing what's best.... go ahead and do it! These other people aren't living YOUR life after all!!!

Annunakian you haven't got long to go now... March!! I'm envious and would love to be going through it again.... even though anxiety did make pregnancy difficult.

Needausername, it's great that you managed 16 hours. That must have been hard for you. The hardest thing that I find, is that when I'm tired I'm desperate to go to bed and I have to fight it

 

[PepsiChic]

Annu - i know what you mean i can be triggered by the same thing (ie my husband going to work sets off my seperation anxiety) but it can also be triggered by a completely random things, like a car going past, a show on the tv, rain on the window or certain songs on the radio. you must be exicted with the LO being due so soon? have you picked out a name? and what Ds think about having a little sister?

naun (needausername) - i dont think i can even manage 16 hours! i feel guilty today i fell asleep ont he floor next to LO while he was in his jumperoo! i must of been asleep about an hour before his giggling (at one of my cats sitting on my chest) woke me up. ugh! i never thought about the fact that i could do yoga wrong. i dont have any "friends" here as i moved here from the UK and left all my family and friends behind so i dont have anyone to go to yoga classes with and i dont drive so i cant even go alone. maybe just stick to meditation for now and if we get the pool up and running this summer i can take up swimming with LO.

eblondie i know your right but its hard to try and make the decisions when your DH is being led and influenced by someone who really does think she is ALWAYS right. its good that you work my DH suggested i get a work at home job but whenever i look for one i always seem to find the "scam" ones. its so sweet your Lo was asking for you!! i cant wait till my LO can say muma and know hes saying it to me, hes already making mu and ma sounds but i dont know if that counts as saying it!

my day has been...ok. im feeling kinda low about things thought, last night was really bad i got so depressed, then LO wouldnt go to sleep till 11pm and was up at 1am, 4am, and 6am, and finally up for god at 8am. infact he was up and wanting milk so often i had to send DH out at 8am this morning to get more formula as we ran out. he easily drank 30-40oz just during the 11pm-8am stint. luckily he napped great for his first nap. off to go try for his second nap...

 

[hopefulmama]

Glad I found this thread, I am 22 weeks pregnant and have been struggling with anxiety/panic attacks my entire life but controlled them myself until about 7 yrs ago when I quit doing recreational drugs due to having a drug overdose. The anxiety attacks got very bad for a bit where i constantly thought I was going to die, now I take anti anxiety meds which i've had to taper down since I got pregnant, I still take a small dose which helps but some days are harder than others. I have never responded well to most anti depressants and have never really been depressed, its just bad anxiety. Now I really don't have panic or anxiety attacks, but when I do it's generally in the middle of the night when I can't fall back asleep. I don't have the convincing thoughts that i am dying and can generally talk myself out of panic attacks if they occur in the daytime but night time def not. I also have problems sleeping at times so I'll have to take here and there.

I've had panic attacks that i was shaking uncontrollably and would black out, but that hasn't happened for awhile.

Anyway thats enough of feeling sorry for myself.

 

[sequeena]

Hi all hope you don't mind if I join

I suffer with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I spent a lot of last year in and out of hospital (cutting, overdoses) and went through 4 different anti depressants. I finally 'settled' on 75mg venlafaxine but haven't been able to take it for the past 3 months or so because I'm pregnant. It's really hard regulating my moods and it doesn't help that my OH works nights as that's when most of my 'episodes' occur. I have an appointment with a consultant and a substance midwife on Monday to see what can be done.

Hope everyone is ok