~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[Sarah10]

if you go to the postnatal support it kind of explains it there jen.
i feel terrible. how are you?x

 

[mommy2be2011x]

WOw I had no clue there was A thread about this!! I have struggled with anorexia since about 2 years ago , I have never really had it as achild but I knew my body was fat and gross as a teen I was very depressed all throughout high school never made real friends and I was very ashamed of my body. I hit an all time high after a miscarriage and was 180 lbs at 5'6 feet tall then in a 4-5month matter when i turned 20 I dropped to 112lbs and i still thought i was fat and hated everything about me I then went to 100 lbs and started puking even water i drank wow this is so hard to talk about bring tears to my eyes I cant believe how much I Hated the Child my mom brought into thiis world (me) it makes me so sad MY mom was very affraid but she was in denial she just thought her offering me food would make it better but I never ate it instead I felt preassured to go jogging because looking at the food made me think of the calories my body would gain . Then I move in with OH and he knew I had something cause who losses that much weight in 5 months , he did everything to make me happy and still does with him i went back up to 118 and I felt fat and disgusting but it was an ok weight for my height i guess . then I became pregnant ( was planned) And I feel Like baby bunny saved my life I was lost in a world of puking and not eating I knew I was doing bad I would look at myself in the mirror and cry and say why can't I be happy BUT becoming pregnant I promised my baby I would never puke and I have kept my promise it is hard because i hate seeing the scale numbers go up and Im already planning how im not gonna eat again after he is here but I don't want to think that way anymore I want to be the best role model for him he is my inspiration. I do find it hard to eat someday , most of the time i Just have one meal and vitamins and i feel like hunger is gone I see my legs and they disgust me cause I feel so fat I look at my arms and oh gosh I just hope to one day be free from this I truly do . I hope to not be judged as I have never ever spoke to anyone about this . hope I can find some support WE CAN MAKE IT!

 

[Groovychick]

I'm struggling so much at the moment. I feel so lonely.

 

[Sarah10]

mommy2be2011 did you live my past? Seriously everything on there what you put pretty much sums my ED up, how it started etc. I found it easy at first when i got pregnant, but at 27 weeks i hit a brick wall, it came back. I was so devatastated about the amount of weight i had gained! Luckily a couple of weeks later i felt better. But the ED came back 2 weeks PP.
Groovychick i hope you feel better soon! Whats brought it on? xx

 

[Groovychick]

I'm just so scared . . . I've just brought up blood.

 

[Groovychick]

Thanks hun.

 

[Groovychick]

 

[tasha41]

Be careful hun, bulimia can cause esophageal varices, which are essentially varicose veins in your esophagus and they can be really irritated (and bleed) because of stomach acids (even acid reflux)..

 

[Groovychick]

Thanks for your concern hun. I just seem to be stuck in a vicious cycle that I can't get out of. Oh, and OH had a huge go at me last night because of it. Great, just what I needed . . . to feel even more guilty.

 

[mommy2be2011x]

HI everyone!

Sarah10, I know what you mean I have been good so far and today I brokedown and I'm still Crying I outgrew 0 and 00 (us sizes) and right now I am a 5 approaching a 7 It is devastating I feel I have put on too much weight! maybe cause my system was soo messed up and jacked from my ED I feel really gross right now my legs disgust me I feel trapped again , I dont want to eat I feel really bad today , I feel selfish for saying that but I dont know what to do I feel really bad today I can't stop crying I don't wanna bring down anyone else with me I just need some sort of mood booster at the moment cause I don't know what to do

Groovychick: I am feeling down too, and OH gets mad at me says he wants me to stop saying the bad stuff i say about my body
I waas crying he put his shoes on and said "ima walk the dog see you later I, I am sorry you are miserable being pregnant!" OMg that destroyed me even more I feel so selfish and I do like having my baby in me its the weight i dont like

 

[tasha41]

^ I know how you feel in a way, similar sizes.. I have to say the weight came off pretty well on its own within about a month or so but being at home so much not out and doing stuff or working as much because I'm home with the baby... I have put like 20 out of my 40lbs gained in pregnancy back on, it sucks so much But if you are able to maintain and not snack/binge much after.. you should be just fine hun. It was hard for me to gain the weight when I was pregnant but in a way, I felt better about myself pregnant than I ever did in my entire life- I felt like I had an 'excuse' if that makes sense.

Anyway had a heavy holiday meal this evening and haven't had a BM yet so I am planning on a laxative, the thing I hate about doing it so late is waking up in the night with cramps and running for the bathroom, I know it is so stupid but I feel so much better once I 'empty' it, vomitting is harder to do now since my OH would hear/notice so I can really only do it if I am taking a bath and have the water running or if he's not at home.

 

[Groovychick]

HI everyone!
Groovychick: I am feeling down too, and OH gets mad at me says he wants me to stop saying the bad stuff i say about my body
I waas crying he put his shoes on and said "ima walk the dog see you later I, I am sorry you are miserable being pregnant!" OMg that destroyed me even more I feel so selfish and I do like having my baby in me its the weight i dont like

I know its difficult for them to understand, but sometimes all I want is for someone to give me a hug and tell me they'll love and support me no matter what. It just gets so frustrating. We already feel guilty enough about gaining weight in pregnancy, we don't need more piled on us.

 

[Sarah10]

I hope you all feel better soon! I'm feeling pretty shhhhhh*************t right now. havent eaten in 4 days.
just want my little boy to get better aswell.

 

[Sarah10]

I have just tried something and been sick, god whats up with me.
Wasn't deliberate either.
think its lack of sleep/stress.

 

[mommy2be2011x]

HELLO EVERYONE TODAY I HAD A MEAL MY TUMMY IS FULL baby is moving all about and seems happy so I'm happy!! I know Guilt will kick in a lil later today but at the moment I am happy today I feel Better!! I hope everyone Is doing good!

 

[Sarah10]

Glad you are feeling better hope you can keep this up!
remember, food isn't your enemy, it is essential to keep you + your baby healthy xxxxxxx

 

[Groovychick]

I couldn't agree more Sarah.

 

[Groovychick]

My bulimia is getting worse and worse. I have binged and purged for the last five days, unusual for me. And I have thrown up blood on two occasions. I am very frightened and don't know what to do.

 

[Sarah10]

Groovychick where abouts are you? do you live in the UK?
Can you tell anybody? x

 

[Groovychick]

I'm currently in the West Midlands.