~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[Sarah10]

being 'normal' if that makes sense. x

 

[sara1786]

i did a weight gain calculator & i think im screwed. before my November pregnancy, i was overcoming anorexia, i weighted 114 at my wedding in July (im 5 ft 6 in). i was eating less than 500 calories per day. before my wedding, i hadn't had a period in over 1 year.

i dont like to blame myself for the miscarriage. although i gained about 5 lbs by September, i don't think my body was ready for a pregnancy. i lost my baby at 11 weeks in November & i had gained A LOT of weight. i went from 119 to about 132!!! i was trying very hard to eat properly; three meals a day, veggies & fruits, and my recommended calorie intake. however, because of my previous "starvation diet" my body packed on that weight. after the pregancy, i was able to get back to 126, which is a "normal" weight for my body type & height...

i still don't think my body is 100& ready. i am really trying to be healthy during this pregnancy. but with all the stress i've been through-- if you've been following my story https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-first-trimester/557544-goodbye-2-updated.html-- the weight gain is coming back & i am scared. I am 7 +3 but i look 3 months pregnant (i know its bloat) and am weighing in around 130, which the calculator says i should reach by WEEK 18!!!!!

because i was "sick" for so long the thought of weight gain SCARES ME TO DEATH!! i am probably over analyzing all of this but i do NOT want to gain 50+ lbs in this pregnancy and i am scared that it will happen

can bloat add pounds?! can stress cause weight gain, even if i don't eat too much..? or do you think the weight will all even itself out & i am being too paranoid?!?!

thanks for the advice!!

 

[Groovychick]

Sarah19: What do you perceive as being normal?

Sara1786: If you know its bloat hun, why are you worried? Your body is retaining excess water which is causing the 'increase' on the scales. I would advise you not to weigh yourself as I have found it causes me great distress and discomfort to do so. As long as you eat a healthy, balanced diet and exercise moderately, your body should gain weight at the right rate for your pregnancy.

 

[Sarah10]

Sarah19: What do you perceive as being normal?

Sara1786: If you know its bloat hun, why are you worried? Your body is retaining excess water which is causing the 'increase' on the scales. I would advise you not to weigh yourself as I have found it causes me great distress and discomfort to do so. As long as you eat a healthy, balanced diet and exercise moderately, your body should gain weight at the right rate for your pregnancy.

I think just generally eating without any emotional feelings being attatched x

 

[Drazic<3]

Hey girls,

I hope you don't mind me popping in. Sending huge to you all and happy to offer support to anyone who needs it.

From the top I guess; I have struggled with my eating since I was about 14. I had full blown anorexic episodes at 16, 18 and 20 and have struggled intermittenly with binge eating and bulimia. When I was pregnant was the first time I can remember that I enjoyed food. I felt like I needed to nourish myself and my baby and for the first time in a long time I saw food as something positive. I promised myself I would never relapse again for the sake of my precious daughter who I never want to suffer like this. But yet, I find myself in the same old shit. I have lost nearly 60lbs since my 8 week check up, and although my weight is healthy right now, my weight loss methods and my goals are not *sigh*.

Sorry about that! Just looking for somewhere to chat girls. If I can help anyone else please PM me

 

[Sarah10]

Hey girls,

I hope you don't mind me popping in. Sending huge to you all and happy to offer support to anyone who needs it.

From the top I guess; I have struggled with my eating since I was about 14. I had full blown anorexic episodes at 16, 18 and 20 and have struggled intermittenly with binge eating and bulimia. When I was pregnant was the first time I can remember that I enjoyed food. I felt like I needed to nourish myself and my baby and for the first time in a long time I saw food as something positive. I promised myself I would never relapse again for the sake of my precious daughter who I never want to suffer like this. But yet, I find myself in the same old shit. I have lost nearly 60lbs since my 8 week check up, and although my weight is healthy right now, my weight loss methods and my goals are not *sigh*.

Sorry about that! Just looking for somewhere to chat girls. If I can help anyone else please PM me

i am so sorry you are finding yourself having problems again hun, i hope you are okay x

 

[Groovychick]

Just b/p. I am such a disgusting, horrible person.

 

[9babiesgone]

you are not groovy. YOu just had a moment where the ed takes over!! doesnt make you a bad person. We all have our own problems, mine is eating normal or too small amounts. and not wanting to overexercise or purge.

You are not bad at all!!! You are a beautiful person inside and out, who struggles from time to time. there is no reason you have to feel bad, you will get thru this.

 

[Sarah10]

Just b/p. I am such a disgusting, horrible person.

You aren't
i b/p last night, don;'t usually P but it got the better of me.

Hope you are okay


and everyone else

 

[Groovychick]

I hope I can overcome this before little Freya arrives. I'd hate for her to adopt the same behaviours as me.

 

[9babiesgone]

awwe groovy!!!

Yeah I had to stop purging bc my daughter at age 1 1/2 was starting to mimic me.
i finally quit for awhile ,and then i started agian, (she is 3 now) luckily she has not seen me do it. bc I am secretive. but I still feel awful. so I feel your pain.

big

I Hope you can conquer this, not only for the baby, but for you, bc you deserve a full recovery and free from this horrible disease. : )

 

[Sarah10]

to both of you


xx

 

[Groovychick]

Thank you so much for your kind words girls. I am confident that we all overcoming this disorder which is plaguing our lives.

 

[9babiesgone]

thanks sarah10, and np groovychick we are here for you!!

we are all here to support each other.

 

[Sarah10]

I am glad on this section, in real life i feel alone, nobody else understands (though only o/h knows) haven't told family/friends

x

 

[Groovychick]

I definitely find this section useful. I am able to share things that I can't with anyone else.

 

[Rin731]

Long post, sorry.


I'm 5'3". In high school, my lowest was 125lbs at age....17? My highest (in high school) was like 225 at age 13 due to side effects from a depression medication. I was restricting, counting calories, labeling "good" and "bad" foods, and generally starving myself.

Then I met my BF at the time, got engaged, moved in together, started college, etc, so over 3 yrs I got up to 160/170 or so, then had said Bf (turned fiance) cheat on me/break up with me...I stopped eating, lost a bunch of weight from January to April, age 20. I went from wearing a size 10-12 top to a 8-10, my bra size went from 36 C to 34 B, my pants went from 12/14 to 9/10. I was probably 125? It doesn't sound like a lot but it was more than I had lost in a while, only yo-yo-ing 5 lbs up and down around 150 for almost 3 yrs.

I'd always been prone to depression and anxiety, and self harm but the self loathing from being cheated on and left and not feeling good enough were there, and they fueled the anorexia...I was pretty intensely exercising 2 days a week on maybe MAYBE 500 calories, and walking a lot.

I met my husband, and felt loved again. He loves to eat, and good food, just a lot. So, I started to, also, to spend time with him, and we moved in together and I adopted his portion sizes....but it's more than overeating.... it feels like I'm hiding my feelings with the weight and trying to be not noticeable? I used to dye my hair and wear cute clothes, now all I wear are T-shirts, jeans in sizes I can't think about, and have mousy dull hair.

Now I'm up to probably, (I'm scared to weigh myself) 250? Heavier than I've ever been, and scared. I feel like I have leftover self loathing and now I'm binging instead, but not purging, at least.

I am happy with my husband, but it's hard to try and think "I wanna be anorexic again!" in a relationship. And DH wants to help but gets so frustrated. Esp with self harm.

To complicate things, I have an ankle injury from Oct just now healing, since we had $ for a dr finally. I could hardly walk from Dec to a few weeks ago, so couldn't exercise. That and my car hasn't ran since Oct. (Again, we NOW have the $$ but didn't at the time). I am a stay at home wife, no work, no school til the fall...I take heart that soon my ankle will be well enough to exercise on and my car being fixed will let me drive to the park for walks.....


That's my story, longing to be thin again, but trying so hard to want to be HEALTHY and get HEALTHY and stay there, not just "thin" and turn to anorexia again. I want to so often.

ALL THIS and NTNP?????

 

[Rin731]

Just b/p. I am such a disgusting, horrible person.

We all struggle. It's okay.

 

[Rin731]

I am glad on this section, in real life i feel alone, nobody else understands (though only o/h knows) haven't told family/friends

x

Agree, I didnt' know this was here, I'm crying, lol. DH is supportive, but doesn't get it sometimes.

 

[Rin731]

Ooo didn't know there was a thread like this!

I'm not pregnant (yet) but have suffered with bulimia since I was 17. I've been more or less recovered for the past 2 years but in that time I've gained lots of weight and am now officially obese. Feel a bit like I've turned over a new leaf this year, as I've been eating really healthily and exercising a bit too -- am hoping I can keep this up because I'd absolutely HATE to pass on my unhealthy attitude to any children I have.

I know what you mean; I was anorexic in high school til I was 17....now I'm obese. So scary.