~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[Rin731]

I've had a Babybel and 3 cups of tea today, possibly might have an apple later, we'll see Thank you both x

I hope you manage the apple. Monday I was having trouble eating 3 bites of peanut butter for dinner...

I know how hard it is. Stay strong.

I don't know you personally, but I guarantee you are a lovely person inside and out, and you can beat this, someday. Take it day by day.

 

[ChewyCookie]

I'm so pissed off
I've been on a 500 calorie diet since i was 13, and i also binged which caused weight gain.
I weigh 8st 11 and want to go back to 8st. I couldn't do the 500 calorie diet anymore because i was so weak and tired. Now i go to them gym 4-5 days a week and do some toning excercises. I'm also eating 1300-1500 calories a day. I've been doing this 3 weeks and in the first week i lose 2 pounds, then i gained that back and another pound. WTF is going on? If i don't lose anything next week, im going to have to go back to eating 500 calories.

 

[Lubbird]

X

 

[annawrigley]

I feel disgusting cos i've had over 1000 calories today i feel so full and I hate it. I really want to be sick but I dont wanna go down that road again. Trying to keep my mind off it, someone distract me

 

[Char.due.jan]

I think its finally time to admit I have a problem with food. I don't generally eat until around 7pm at night and after one small meal I usually graze on junk. I'm obsessed with my weight and I feel so guilty about not being my pre-pregnancy weight. I feel like an ugly, fat mess. I also struggle with PND and self-harm. I'm really struggling not to purge as I feel full after a binge on junk plead give me strength

 

[annawrigley]

I think its finally time to admit I have a problem with food. I don't generally eat until around 7pm at night and after one small meal I usually graze on junk. I'm obsessed with my weight and I feel so guilty about not being my pre-pregnancy weight. I feel like an ugly, fat mess. I also struggle with PND and self-harm. I'm really struggling not to purge as I feel full after a binge on junk plead give me strength

Don't hun. As you can see from above post, I wanted to today too but didnt and the fullness will go away just give it a bit of time xx

ETA: Not today... Yesterday

 

[Char.due.jan]

I think its finally time to admit I have a problem with food. I don't generally eat until around 7pm at night and after one small meal I usually graze on junk. I'm obsessed with my weight and I feel so guilty about not being my pre-pregnancy weight. I feel like an ugly, fat mess. I also struggle with PND and self-harm. I'm really struggling not to purge as I feel full after a binge on junk plead give me strength

Don't hun. As you can see from above post, I wanted to today too but didnt and the fullness will go away just give it a bit of time xx

ETA: Not today... Yesterday

Thank you its really hard, I hate feeling full. I'm an emotional eater so when I'm upset/angry I either binge or starve myself. Although I think how I starve is linked in with self harm. Its really hard to speak to people about it as I usually just get 'there's nothing wrong with you, you're fine as you are' but they don't understand

 

[Windmills]

I hate this thread, it makes me feel worse.
This is completely random, but if anyone has experience in psychotic episodes, either themselves or someone else, please could you PM me? x

 

[annawrigley]

Gah it's my dads birthday today and we've been out for lunch and going out for tea as well... I had scrambled egg and smoked salmon on toast for lunch but it was a huge portion and I still feel full now don't know if I can fit any more food in!

 

[EmmaRhiannon]

I think I need this thread.

I'm struggling at the moment.

I suffered from anorexia from early teens when I went through a hard time, my parents divorced, I was being bullied, amongst other things that I still can't talk about. I couldn't see any way out of the mess I was in and everything was falling apart. I felt worthless and hated myself, and to me, I was a big fat mess and I felt that if I could look better on the outside, maybe my parents would love me and be together (i blamed myself) and maybe I'd stop being bullied.

But obviously, I now know it doesn't work like that.

I was hospitalised after dropping down to just 5 and a half stone and was losing consciousness, I'm so lucky to be here.

I went through counselling and all sorts to try and help me, and eventually I stopped 'needing' the help according too professionals.
Though you never really stop needing help, it's always there, constantly.

And at the moment, I'm seriously struggling

 

[louandivy]

I think I need this thread.

I'm struggling at the moment.

I suffered from anorexia from early teens when I went through a hard time, my parents divorced, I was being bullied, amongst other things that I still can't talk about. I couldn't see any way out of the mess I was in and everything was falling apart. I felt worthless and hated myself, and to me, I was a big fat mess and I felt that if I could look better on the outside, maybe my parents would love me and be together (i blamed myself) and maybe I'd stop being bullied.

But obviously, I now know it doesn't work like that.

I was hospitalised after dropping down to just 5 and a half stone and was losing consciousness, I'm so lucky to be here.

I went through counselling and all sorts to try and help me, and eventually I stopped 'needing' the help according too professionals.
Though you never really stop needing help, it's always there, constantly.

And at the moment, I'm seriously struggling

Sometimes I feel like I'm fully recovered, but then something bad happens and I find it so hard to fight the urge to revert back to my old habits. In a way I wish that I could just do outpatient treatment forever and then I would be fine, if only it wasn't so expensive! Why are you struggling hun?

I am going to Canada this Summer and I'm getting really nervous about it. Last time I was there was 2007, during one of the worst points of my eating disorder. I weighed about 6 stone and I spent most of the trip refusing to leave the house, refusing to eat and binging and purging when I was alone. I am so glad I get to go back to see my family and family friends and so they can see how much I've turned my life around, but I'm also scared that they are all going to comment on how 'healthy' I look and be thinking about how much bigger I am now I shouldn't care about that stuff anymore but I just do.

 

[EmmaRhiannon]

I'm struggling with my cycles/periods at the moment and got bad news from the doctor that basically, my chances of getting pregnant are rapidly decreasing due to bad problems from an op/problem years ago (long story)
and so I just feel terrified, I'm in so much pain and I'm devastated that this might be my only chance of children & I just feel like everything's going wrong at the moment ..
I guess I'm struggling not to go back to how I used to, everytime something went wrong I'd stop eating =/

 

[louandivy]

I'm struggling with my cycles/periods at the moment and got bad news from the doctor that basically, my chances of getting pregnant are rapidly decreasing due to bad problems from an op/problem years ago (long story)
and so I just feel terrified, I'm in so much pain and I'm devastated that this might be my only chance of children & I just feel like everything's going wrong at the moment ..
I guess I'm struggling not to go back to how I used to, everytime something went wrong I'd stop eating =/

It was your coping mechanism hun But even though it makes you feel better in the short term remember where it landed you eventually, in hospital! I know that I never want to have to go back to an eating disorder ward, starving always seems so appealing when I'm struggling to cope but its not the answer I'm so sorry that everything is going wrong, but you have to stay in good health and cling onto that hope that there is a chance. I wish I could do something to help

 

[EmmaRhiannon]

I know, I couldn't cope any other way and I defo don't wanna go back on that ward either - It was the worst experience of my life

I've just got to find another way of coping with things - which is hard.

It's like reprogramming your brain not to think a certain way & I'm finding it near damn impossible.

I've been pretty good so far, tbh.
I've been eating properly and haven't purged or starved myself, but, I have been eating and then being over-energetic - going hyper, walking the dogs, tidying the house - I know exactly why I'm doing it though

 

[tu123]

I know, I couldn't cope any other way and I defo don't wanna go back on that ward either - It was the worst experience of my life

I've just got to find another way of coping with things - which is hard.

It's like reprogramming your brain not to think a certain way & I'm finding it near damn impossible.

I've been pretty good so far, tbh.
I've been eating properly and haven't purged or starved myself, but, I have been eating and then being over-energetic - going hyper, walking the dogs, tidying the house - I know exactly why I'm doing it though

Hun. It is worth to continue trying. Dont think "oh i'm never going to get pregnant so why bother looking after myself?"

You still may. Unless you have routine follicle and cervical scans you will never know what your cycle and womb health is like. Your doctor just cant say things like that. Even with a low Anti Mullerian Hormone blood level (a basic number to represent how fertile you are) you can still get pregnant.

 

[thedog]

This really doesn't go away does it?

 

[lovethebump]

Hello everyone
I was here about 6-7 months ago after an unplanned pregnancy, but it ended in a missed miscarriage at 12weeks. I've had an eating disorder for 5 years, alternating and blending anorexia and bulimia.
This time, it was very very unexpected (I had just started birth control a few days after I must've conceived.)
I've been in a very deep relapse since the miscarriage. I gained about 25lbs in the first three months due to "recovery" and of course, the pregnancy. I started out pretty low, so the weight was good for me anyways, but it completely threw me off to miscarry. I relapsed easily...
Now, I'm back, and trying harder to fight the eating disorder. Its gotten worse and much more out-of-control since the first pregnancy. I'm having a very hard time with accepting the weight gain, and have not been able to cut back very much on exercise. I am planning to start therapy to help me cope.
I am trying to be reasonable, but how do you manage to be when the eating disorder "voice" is constantly there denying your well-deserved hunger and fatigue?

Just asking if there is anyone going through the same troubles? Or anyone who knows how to better cope?

-Sarah

 

[happigail]

I've been 'recovered' for about 6/7 years (bulimia mainly) my metabolism is shot to pieces and I'm over weight.

Right now I'm having an ectopic pregnancy and I want to grab hold of my darkest old friend. I know I can't because of my kids, I stopped for them and I won't start again for the same reason, but at the moment I feel the need.

This thread has helped, especially Lou and ivy.

 

[louandivy]

I've been 'recovered' for about 6/7 years (bulimia mainly) my metabolism is shot to pieces and I'm over weight.

Right now I'm having an ectopic pregnancy and I want to grab hold of my darkest old friend. I know I can't because of my kids, I stopped for them and I won't start again for the same reason, but at the moment I feel the need.

This thread has helped, especially Lou and ivy.

I'm so glad. It is SO hard to fight the temptation isn't it? For a short period it feels like the best coping mechanism ever. Thats why I have to be relentlessly positive to get myself through it There is just no WAY you can have an eating disorder and for your kids not to notice it, it will taint their childhood and I don't want that for my little girl. You are so strong. And I am so so sorry for what you are going through at the moment

 

[happigail]

Thanks Lou, and I completely agree with you 100% that's exactly my motivation. You're lush xxxx