Any BF mum's in the 2ww?

[ChantalLee]

I am 4dpo today as well and am trying really hard not to symptom spot.

On 2 & 3 dpo I had this underlying burning crampy feeling below my right ovary and I tried really hard to ignore it. This is the first time I have ever felt this feeling, usually I get twinges around 6 or 7 dpo and for 2 or 3 days and then af arrives.

And today my lower back has that same burning paining feeling which again is really strange because I never get a sore back at any stage of my cycle.

Surely this is hopelessly to early to see any sort of symptoms right?? I always feel so silly when I symptom spot and then get af and now I'm going to feel even more stupid because for the first time I'm actually putting it down on "paper" for every body to read lol

Some how my body always manages to find new and improved symptoms "that I have never had before" to mess with my head and make the tww even more draggy lol

 

[Ava7]

Haha don't worry I am such a symptom spotter! Although I've been pretty good so far. Saying that it's only 4dpo so there's still time!

I am absolutely sure I felt implantation on 6dpo with my son and just had that 'feeling' which is why I tested so early. So I definitely believe if you are in tune with your body you can feel slight changes.

No such feeling this cycle for me but it's so early still.

 

[doggylover]

Sounds like some good symptom spotting - anything out of the ordinary is certainly worth note, Chantal!

Ava, yes Oliver is super high needs as well. Even though certain things helped (no dairy etc) he's just always been high needs. I remember when I was pregnant with my first and I would be reading threads on here about high needs babies and it sounded kind of bad but I was just like "whatever, all babies cry"

silly me!

I'm about 6dpo now, feel absolutely nothing at all! Usually in the run up to my period (well the last two since it came back) I get tender nipples while feeding about 4/5 days before af shows, so I'm on the lookout for that.

 

[doggylover]

Oh and with regards to my supply when pregnant, it's hard to know actually. I had day weaned and just night weaned, so she was only getting fed for nap and bedtime, and we were transitioning her off those. So I found out I was pregnant and she had her last feed 3 nights later. Not because I stopped, but she had just turned two and she was ready for it herself.

I will say I had been having some nursing aversions before I found out I was pregnant (I was 9 weeks when I found out so a good chunk of first tri under my belt!) and sometimes it did feel like she was dry nursing.

With my friends a fair few have had their supply dry up by 4 months

 

[Ava7]

It was crazy because he was my first, I just couldn't believe how hard it was and felt like I was completely useless! It wasn't until I started going to groups etc that I realised he's not quite like other babies haha! And I stayed at my mums one night and she took him for a few hours so I could get some kip. She came in at 3am like 'you've got to take him, he just doesn't sleep! At all!!!!' And shes had 4 kids. Haha. That was the one and only time my parents have offered to help!

But you do just accept it and get used to it don't you.

 

[doggylover]

It's always amazing to get that.... I dunno what the word is? Someone saying to you "this is not normal. This is harder than it should be for you". I remember at Olivers 16 weeks check explaining to the HV what he was like and her jaw dropped! And she said "there isn't anything wrong with him (that was after I had stopped dairy etc) but it's normal behaviour" and I cried. I was so relieved to have someone say that!

My first wasn't overly laid back, just totally normal I think, so he was just something else. Still is!

So I worked out if I am now 7dpo my due date will be my birthday! And the age gap between Oliver and baby would be the EXACT same as between Isabelle and Oliver! (That actually takes in to account the extra 13 days of me being overdue and waiting to be induced again!)

So I just have to be pregnant now. The fates have aligned or something

 

[doggylover]

Sorry to hear you don't get much help from your parents though. That makes life tough.

I am a SAHM (partly through choice, partly through not being able to get work ) but my dad in particular has always been great about helping if I need it. And if I do ever work (I'm a teacher so sometimes I do substitute work) he has Oliver and collects Isabelle from school. My husbands parents live in another country though, so he is the only help we have and it can be really tough feeling like you've nowhere to turn on a bad day. Do you get help from your in laws,

 

[Ava7]

Oh doggylover it's got to be your month! Fingers crossed for a bfp! When are you going to test?

Yeah, it is what it is. We live about 45min drive from my family so don't see them very often. But despite living down the road from my inlaws we get no help whatsoever! I'm a sahm too, again i don't have much choice. Not that I'm not grateful to spend this time with him

 

[doggylover]

Not going to test until at least next Tuesday, but will try to hold out as long as possible as I had a super faint bfp at 13dpo with my daughter so don't want to test too early because of that. When are you thinking of testing?

I'm sorry to hear you don't get much support at all from family. Life with kids can be difficult, and a support network is definitely needed. Hopefully you have lots of friends close by instead?

It is definitely great to get to be at home with the kids I think I feel a bit sensitive about it ATM as I would have gone back to work this year but there are just no jobs, so I wasn't able to, so I feel I'm shirking my financial responsibilities by not earning any money. I'm the higher earner (my dh is self employed) so it would be good to have me in work, but there is just no hope ATM. If I was a sahm by choice I wouldn't worry at all. But yet I want to be at home and I love it! I confuse even myself about the whole thing!!

 

[Ava7]

I am going to try and wait until 10dpo. Although because I got such an early bfp with ds it'll be tempting to start at 7.

No, unfortunately I don't! It's just me and my ds. It can be very lonely at times, my partner is a chef so works long hours and all evening until about 12. None of our friends have children yet, so rarely see them and we have just moved to this area a few months ago so don't really know anyone. But I'm sure that will come in time.

Yes I know how you feel about not doing your part financially. I often feel the same but my dp says how much he appreciates me being at home with ds, and not to feel guilty etc.

 

[doggylover]

That's so kind of him I had a bit of a meltdown the other week as I found out the mum of my daughter's school friend (the only mum I really chat to, and we would always sit together at things) is a bloody surgeon! And she knows I'm a sahm and i had a bit of a breakdown saying "she must think I'm an idiot who can't do anything" etc. Which I'm sure the poor woman doesn't lol! But my dh was really nice and basically said the same as your oh. So nice to know we are appreciated!

You should look for a breastfeeding support group near you when your next baby comes (hopefully in 9 months!!). That's where I made my friends, and found that we all get along mostly because we have the same parenting styles, one of which has been breastfeeding. It's so tough putting yourself out there though, isn't it? When I had my first my 5 best friends just dropped me, literally one day they all came round to mine for lunch and I never heard from them again. And I was so lonely, and it's terrifying talking to people/other mums at things

Xx

 

[Ava7]

Oh no I'm sure that's not the case we all judge ourselves way more harshly than we judge others! That's great that your hubby is supportive too.

Thank you, that is a great shout actually I'll definitely look into bf groups. Ah it's nice to know others feel the same! Yes I take my ds to groups 3 or 4 times a week but all the other mum's know eachother already and they all seem very nice but it is so difficult.

That's terrible about your friends dropping you like that but sadly it's true. I've lost a few too x

 

[ChantalLee]

With our time difference I’ve missed out on sooo much!! I had to catch up now.
I dont even know where to start lol

It’s really great to hear you both have great supportive husbands, that makes me happy. Many of my friends have huge issues with this.

I have a great husband and a fantastic mom that looks after my dd when I work. We have a family business so I only recently started to work fixed hours from 9am-2pm and that leaves me with time to spend with dd every day. I’m really fortunate as all my friends have full time jobs. I have the greatest respect for sahm’s they have a fuller and more mentally and physically exhausing day than any 12hour job!! And quite frankly I wish more mothers could stay at home and raise their children, I think it would eliminate a lot of hate in this world!

Ava - im really sorry to hear that you have such little support! I cant even imagine how hard it must be for you!! You sound like an amazingly strong woman to deal with all this on your own! I do hope things get better for you and that you will make new friends soon!

With my dd I had text book symptoms leading up to bfp. Nothing up to 7dpo. 7&8dpo cramps, huge clump of cm 8dpo, constant wet feeling, 9dpo implantation spotting (only around my cervix, at the time i thought i was out as i always spotted a day or two before af), next morning spotting was gone and i kept running to bathroom thinking if af’s not here by 12pm i’ll go buy a test, if it’s not here by 3 i’ll test when i get home, until i got home and tested.....faint BFP!! On 10dpo. After 2 years and 2 days tcc. Needless to say i cried uncontrolably for an hour or two lol

I dont know if I can handle another 2 years of tcc but I do believe what doesnt kill you makes you stronger ha ha blah blah

How are you ladies feeling today? I was a ball of symptoms yesterday!! So hoping that just means that my progesterone is really high! I dont expect a bfp so soon into starting tcc. But I will test on tuesday as well if my lp stretches that far and af doesnt catch me.

Doggylover - it does sound like fate has aligned for you this month!!

Fingers crossed for you ladies!!!

 

[doggylover]

Whoa, Chantal, after two years I’m sure that getting your bfp was incredible!! Fingers crossed this journey is much shorter for you. And I also think it gives you a great perspective on getting pregnant. It was just a year for us getting pregnant with no1, but I also have no expectations of falling pregnant quickly this time because of that. So anything else would be a bonus.

Weirdly no2 was a surprise. But he has been a little monkey throughout so that is definitely his style!!!

Ava, I actually don’t go to any groups now with Oliver. I hate mums and tots groups for the reasons you’ve said about other mums knowing each other. And I always feel so awkward. I went to loads of stuff with Isabelle, but mostly classes so it was more structured and I didn’t feel weird not talking to people! With Oliver he has second baby syndrome lol! He just gets taken along to isabelles things or to see our friends, but luckily they all have kids and some are his age, plus he has 3 cousins so I tell myself he gets to see plenty of other kids and I don’t need to worry about not taking him to mums and tots!

And Chantal that’s great about working from home, but still having so much of the afternoon free with LO. That’s ideal really

Part of the reason I don’t have a job is that all the jobs that do come up for teaching my subject are really far away and full time and I would just never get to see the kids. And any part time ones there are so many applicants it’s ridiculous.

 

[Ava7]

Chantal it sounds like you have a great balance there! 2 years must have been so stressful. We tried for a year after an ectopic when i fell with ds.

Doggylover i don't blame you! If i had friends with little ones i probably wouldn't bother going. I do it as it fills the day and ds gets to socialise but tbh i hate it.

So this afternoon (TMI) I've had a big glob of what I can only describe as snotty cm! It is white with a very very slight yellowish /green tinge. Very stretchy like ewcm. Very gross- sorry! I'm certain it's not an infection. It looks like mucus plug...

So I've been crazy googling! I'm hoping it's a good sign but I don't remember this with my ds.

How are you both today?

 

[doggylover]

Goodness I haven’t heard of that before! Have you found anything from google??

I’ve never actually experienced losing my mucus plug really, I was induced both times and assume it went somewhere during that, but don’t know for sure!

The one thing I do take Oliver to sometimes is gymnastics mornings. Not sure if they have any near you? But here the gymnastics centres (and even some leisure centres now) open up their gym in the morning for parents and toddlers and it ends up being a bit like soft play but with actual gym equipment, so it’s pretty fun!

I’m ok today, really sore. With my first pregnancy I had some sciatica but when I was pregnant with Oliver it was awful, I could barely move. And it’s kind of hung round since he was born, and the last few weeks it’s been getting worse. And today is very bad. So I’m limping about like a pirate! It’s one thing which I really am not looking forward to about being pregnant again.

 

[Ava7]

I've been obsessively googling! Some sources say its a rise in progesterone that can cause it, which would make it fairly normal after o. And I've found a lot of old threads where ladies have gotten their bfp after it, something to do with the mucus plug forming i think. Time will tell! Fingers crossed for the latter.

That sounds great, yes theres something similar but not close enough to get there for 9am really. Our mornings are very slow!

Oh no, that doesn't sound good. I too get sciatic pain from time to time it's agony. There are some brilliant stretches you can find on YouTube that always help me relieve it, but I'm sure you know that already! Get your dh to give you a nice firm massage on the lower back too! X

 

[doggylover]

Weirdly mine is all down my upper thigh, never ever in my back. I know it stems from there, but the pain has never been there. I had to go to physio when I was pregnant last time for it, and it was bloody agony but worked wonders. She gave me acupuncture for it too, not sure if it helped but was interesting!

Connected to the acupuncture, a few people I know have mentioned about fertility acupuncture, apparently it’s supposed to be very good. I think if I haven’t got my bfp by the new year I may look in to that.

Oh, 9am would be an early start to be out somewhere! I was the same when Isabelle was younger, we often didn’t get up until 9am. I remember it fondly... as we now trudge to school at 8.45! Luckily the school is a stones throw from the house... but still not ideal!

 

[Ava7]

Funny you should say that, I contacted an acupuncturist recently and thinking of getting some treatment starting next cycle. I've had acupuncture before for my endometriosis pain and it was incredible, I'm a firm believer in it. If nothing else it's incredibly relaxing!

 

[doggylover]

I just had a little session as part of my physio, but it seemed to work! So I am definitely up for it for fertility as well. Especially since I basically have heard everyone gets it and is pregnant a few weeks later!