Any OCD Mums? or mums with axiety disorders?

[Serenity_Now]

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. Saw a HUGE resurgence post-partum. I attend a local support group for Post Partum Mood Disorders, take medication, and am soon to be admitted back into therapy. Every day is both blessing and battle.

My son is now 4.5 months and going through a Sleep Regression and I think I might die from lack of sleep (hello 4 AM wake ups). It's... awful. But I will survive and one day maybe I will even miss it. I keep reminding myself of this.

 

[whit.]

I didn't read all of the replies but yes. I've had anxiety for some years and I think (not doctor diagnosed) I have OCD tendencies. Obsessive thinking and also cleanliness.

It completely affects my parenting (I don't think it a bad way, but that might be the OCD'ness of me talking!)

 

[socitycourty]

I definitely don't want my daughter to end up like me. I really don't want this to rub off on her. And Youngwife20 thank you for the suggestions! I have such a hard time explaining things to people because I sound like a nut. and I think my DH tries to help but when I'm in a panic attack or something all he says is "calm down!!!" well as you know that's the worst thing to hear when you are really in a panic. He has no fears of anything, at all!

 

[whit.]

I agree that no one knows how you feel unless they have the disorders themselves. I know my whole family thinks I'm an idiot most of the time because of the things I worry about. They just don't get it.

 

[Leids]

I didn't read all of the replies either. I have some extreme anxiety, paranoia, and OCD. A lot of it is due to my ADHD, my mind feels like it's going at 200mph at all times. I pretty much have a permanent pressure headache because I over analyze everything and research the smallest things for hours on end.

It drives my husband insane. I was on medication for 15 years prior to becoming pregnant, and it did wonders. I'm a 'normal' person on adderall. Without it, I can't focus, and I always feel anxious and jittery, it's a really awful feeling.

It was a hard decision for me to decide to breastfeed because of this. When I first got pregnant and went through withdrawal, I swore I was going to formula feed so I could get back to normal. Five months PP I'm still going, but it's incredibly difficult for me. Doing everything in my power to make it to 1 year!

With my son, everything has to be done just right. I'm OCD about making sure my hands are washed, and that anything that generally touches him is clean. I research everything I do with him, even though I try to primarily go by maternal instinct. If I think anything will hurt his development in the slightest, I won't do it. I have insomnia because I'm obsessed with researching everything. I sleep maybe 3 hours a night.

I'm glad that there are other mom's with anxiety issues. It's not fun, and I really hope that LO doesn't pick it up from me either.

 

[Chloe.E]

hi there i have quite bad OCD, I'm on medication which definitely tones it down a little bit and I'm on the waiting list for cbt so I'm looking forward to that, hopefully it will help a lot!

I've always had OCD tendancies from a young age, they got worse and when i was pregnant got very intense and worsened even more when I had the baby, i've since read that something can trigger it to get worse pre and postnatally.

I really want to improve things having a baby, a job and a degree to study is hard enough, adding OCD into the mix makes things a heck of a lot more stressful! However, i do feel it's improving slowly. Before I had Oliver I never went to the doctor or really told anyone properly about it and i've made an effort to try and tackle it this year by taking medication, reading self-help books and hopefully cbt will vastly improve it as well oliver gave me the confidence to go and talk to someone so I'm thankful to him for that. Feel free to message me anytime.

xx

I've been doing CBT for nearly 2 years now, and not going to lie, it hasn't helped me at all. I do it for depression, anxiety and slight aggraphobia. The most it's done is help ever so slightly with depression, not enough that I'd say is worth it. The thing that has helped me the most is being pregnant, as I want to be the best I can for my little boy and for him not to turn out like me. Although it is different for different people and I wish you the best of luck with it! xx

heyy how far gone are you im 16 weeks aswell as have a 7 month old, xx

I'm 37 weeks & 3 days. I'm only 16, but being pregnant has made me very determined in certain things like actually getting out of bed during the day, or even leaving the house (with another person, couldn't do it on my own, ever) without wearing make-up. Little things to most people but huge things too me. I've been like it most of my life, told my Mum about feeling down when I was 12 and doctors wanted me on meds, my Mum said no. Then I finally admitted being scared to leave the house when my Mum was making me leave for school when I was 14, prior to that I'd make up excuses not to go or just pretend I'm still getting ready to delay it. Doctors & my counsiller still want me on meds but I refuse as I don't want to rely on them at the age of just 16 and for the rest of my life.
Sorry for the long post, just explaining everything. Not particulary OCD but alot of anxiety xx

 

[MiniKiwi]

Does anyones OCD effect other people? I have a thing were my mum has to say I love you every time i leave the room or she leaves the room or we hang up the phone or go to bed if im staying over . if not she might die ( god forbid ) i have been like that since i was 8 years old. because my brother died when i was 8 and i didnt say i love you when he died.. so its put the fear in me

I'm so sorry you lost your brother I'm very close to my brother and while my OCD doesn't affect other people, his does, but only with me. I make sure I do all the small things like hanging up on him and not him hanging up on me, making sure to end conversations in "bye" lol! We both find it quite amusing and can joke about it.

I have a pretty weird form of OCD and have had it since I can remember, at least since I was 7. It's called trichotillomania! I pull my hair out I also wash my hands like crazy, maybe 50 times a day and have intrusive thoughts, if I don't switch that towel around something bad will happen etc. I've found it's all gotten much more manageable since I've had LO I was diagnosed with PTSD and an anxiety disorder 2 or 3 years ago and that and the OCD thoughts was a nasty combo but it's all under control lately. I was prescribed medication but decided not to take them, I had some counselling instead which did wonders. I don't even mind my OCD, I happily obey the small thoughts and rituals and I like having clean hands but anxiety is horrible! I couldn't cope with that.

Anyway, just wanted to say for you all, I know how tough it can be. I thought I was going to go crazy once LO got here but thankfully that hasn't been the case so far.

And Leids - Good going so far with the BFing and coming off the adderall, that must be SO tough

 

[youngwife20]

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. Saw a HUGE resurgence post-partum. I attend a local support group for Post Partum Mood Disorders, take medication, and am soon to be admitted back into therapy. Every day is both blessing and battle.

My son is now 4.5 months and going through a Sleep Regression and I think I might die from lack of sleep (hello 4 AM wake ups). It's... awful. But I will survive and one day maybe I will even miss it. I keep reminding myself of this.

Hi whats the difference between axiety and generailized? sorry im not sure! and were did you find out about this group? i dont think theres anything like that here, i hope therapy goes well for you hun and how you feel about the lack of sleep! my daughters 7 months and is finanly mostly sleeping through so that will be you soon! and i agree there are some parts i miss about her when she was younger so carry on trying to apreiciate it as much as you can! xx

I didn't read all of the replies but yes. I've had anxiety for some years and I think (not doctor diagnosed) I have OCD tendencies. Obsessive thinking and also cleanliness.

It completely affects my parenting (I don't think it a bad way, but that might be the OCD'ness of me talking!)

what makes your axiety ocdness better or worse? and in what way do yo feel it effects ur parenting and thats a positive thing that its not in a bad way xx

 

[youngwife20]

I definitely don't want my daughter to end up like me. I really don't want this to rub off on her. And Youngwife20 thank you for the suggestions! I have such a hard time explaining things to people because I sound like a nut. and I think my DH tries to help but when I'm in a panic attack or something all he says is "calm down!!!" well as you know that's the worst thing to hear when you are really in a panic. He has no fears of anything, at all!

I hope the suggestions work hun i feel the same when i have to explain a long list of things to my husband at night i plan how i will tell him when it gets to telling him i can tel he isnt listenting which makes me more axious so i grab my list and put it on his table in the morning lol xx

I agree that no one knows how you feel unless they have the disorders themselves. I know my whole family thinks I'm an idiot most of the time because of the things I worry about. They just don't get it.

I think my mum understands it she trys her hardest there has been times when she didnt get it like with saying i love you before bed she thought if she stopped saying it it would rissolve itself! i went crazy crying all night bagging my fist on the door i wanted to die it was awful but now she just goes with it my dad on the other hand who no longer see said i was a mental psycho who wont get anywere in life lol

I didn't read all of the replies either. I have some extreme anxiety, paranoia, and OCD. A lot of it is due to my ADHD, my mind feels like it's going at 200mph at all times. I pretty much have a permanent pressure headache because I over analyze everything and research the smallest things for hours on end.

It drives my husband insane. I was on medication for 15 years prior to becoming pregnant, and it did wonders. I'm a 'normal' person on adderall. Without it, I can't focus, and I always feel anxious and jittery, it's a really awful feeling.

It was a hard decision for me to decide to breastfeed because of this. When I first got pregnant and went through withdrawal, I swore I was going to formula feed so I could get back to normal. Five months PP I'm still going, but it's incredibly difficult for me. Doing everything in my power to make it to 1 year!

With my son, everything has to be done just right. I'm OCD about making sure my hands are washed, and that anything that generally touches him is clean. I research everything I do with him, even though I try to primarily go by maternal instinct. If I think anything will hurt his development in the slightest, I won't do it. I have insomnia because I'm obsessed with researching everything. I sleep maybe 3 hours a night.

I'm glad that there are other mom's with anxiety issues. It's not fun, and I really hope that LO doesn't pick it up from me either.

wow hun you should be so proud of your self!! i know breastfeeding isnt easy but breastfeeding with all those issues i feel for you hun you are very inspiring try not to put so much preasure on urself i kow thats easier said than done. i hope you do make it to the year mark. but we all know with ocd we can sometimes never be satisfied with our goal mark! i know with myself that is the case. every single day you breastfeed is doing an amazing thing for your lo how ever long you last hun. and abotu your preasure headaches i never know what to call mine but i think its the same as what you get , can you describe urs? thank u for commenting on this post and i hope things get easier for u hun xx

 

[Elljo3]

I was on citalopram but have been changed to sertraline now. I find that it helps you too get on with everyday things. Don't get me wrong i still check things etc but I don't do them more than a few times now.

Really glad that I'm not the only one going through these things

What made them need to swap it if you dont mind me asking. and i am also glad! as if i would explain my ocd to people they just think im being akwards and unessesery

I found that the. Medicine was helping but I just needed that extra little bit more help tho,was almost as if my body had gotten used to it.

 

[Proud_Mummy24]

I'm another who suffers from OCD and extreme anxiety. I've been suffering with it for a year and half now but only started meds 3 months ago and am starting cbt next week. Anyone willing to share their experiences of cbt? Don't know what to expect really and whether it will actually make any difference. I lost my daughter at 23 weeks pregnant and my ocd then strtd during my pregnancy with my son and has just got progressively worse and worse. Im on the highest dosage of sertraline and while they help a bit, i still struggle most days. Just want it to be gone so i can relax and enjoy my son even more. The feeling got so bad and was at the point of taking over my life and thats when i took that big step and said to my hv who then told me to go and talk to my gp and then strtd my meds. Anyone with ways of dealing with ocd please help!

 

[Housewife83]

Here are my answers to the questions.

When did your OCD start?

I think I have possibly always had it. My first clear memories of an episode began when I was 11.

When was it at its worst?

Just before I sought help a couple of years ago.

What helps it get better?

For me it's medication, what I learnt from CBT therapy and trying to look after myself and keep myself healthy. This is only an easing of the symptoms they have not gone away and I still avoid particularly triggering situations.

Does your OH understand your OCD and help you?

He knows about it and he is understanding.

How have other people around you reacted to your OCD? Do they understand?

To my face the people I have told have been very sympathetic.

When did you start meds?

A couple of years ago.

Does your OCD make you ask lots of questions?

Yes I think I tend to run through a lot of possibilities in my head but I might not ask the questions out loud.

Below is the code for anyone who wants to answer the questions too, just cut and past.

[B]When did your OCD start?[/B]

[B]When was it at its worst?[/B]

[B]What helps it get better?[/B]

[B]Does your OH understand your OCD and help you?[/B]

[B]How have other people around you reacted to your OCD? Do they understand?[/B]

[B]When did you start meds?[/B]

[B]Does your OCD make you ask lots of questions?[/B]

 

[Jayneypops]

Hi, I thought I would reply here as have posted a similar thread aasking for opinions as I think I'm suffering with anxiety since lo was born.
I constantly (well more or less) feel tense and have a butterfly feeling in my stomach when it comes to lo sleeping/napping. I don't worry about her safety as we have a sensor pad and I'm over that phase now. my problem is that I constantly worry about whether she has napped enough, napped at the right times, will she be overtired at bedtime etc... and it's driving me mad! We had lots of sleep problems with her for the first 4 months (colic, intolerance, wind, fighting sleep, no daytime naps, waking 5 or 6 tines during the night etc) it was awful. At 4.5 months she miraculously started sttn but I can't shake the nervousness and anxious feelings from those early months. I keep waiting for the sttn to all have been a fluke and for her to revert to being a terrible sleeper!

My husband says he feels like he's walking on egg shells as I'm so on edge all the time. I can be fine then stressed in the blink of an eye if the slightest thing doesn't go to plan. its so unlike me.
I don't think people understand, unless you have suffered from anxiety yourself. It controls your whole day and drives you nuts!

It helps to know there are plenty of other moms out there. I don't want to talk to my GP so am going to give Kalms a try first. My rational mind knows that a lot of the anxiety is unnecessary but I just cant stop it.

 

[Mummy2bexxx]

I have suffered from OCD and anxiety since I was little and recently have suffered from pnd with both LOs. I am determined not to pass on my anxiety issues to my daughters but have been finding things tough recentlyBig hugs to everyone x

Hello How are you today? do you want to share what your finding tough? xx and weldone for being determined xx

Hi thankyou for your reply! How are you? I am doing ok today we have been on a day out, I find keeping busy helps. I hate being in the house I obsess over lots of things -my current obsession being dust and LO breathing it in as she is crawling, hoovering just makes the obsession worse and I seem to see the house as being "contaminated", but when I'm not feeling anxious the house seems spotless! lol. I have also been feeling pretty isolated recently, I am a very sociable person but have no access to a car during the week so can't go to see friends unless I walk for miles with the double buggy. I am currently struggling with my 2 year olds behaviour so that is getting me down. I went on sertraline for a couple of weeks but felt dreadful on it so stopped taking it as my depression got so bad I could barely talk, and I couldn't seem to think it was like my mind had gone blank I have had CBT in the past which help loads, my OCD got so bad at one point I was suicidal, it had completely stopped me living my life as I had stopped leaving the house, but couldn't live in the house either as I was frightened of germs and dust there. My hands were torn to pieces from constant washing and if I did go out I wore gloves even in the summer. I ended up having a nervous breakdown at work and moving back closer to my parents. I have got a million times better since then but I do have bad phases where my OCD will flare up.

Big hugs to all you ladies and I hope you have all had a good day

 

[youngwife20]

hi there i have quite bad OCD, I'm on medication which definitely tones it down a little bit and I'm on the waiting list for cbt so I'm looking forward to that, hopefully it will help a lot!

I've always had OCD tendancies from a young age, they got worse and when i was pregnant got very intense and worsened even more when I had the baby, i've since read that something can trigger it to get worse pre and postnatally.

I really want to improve things having a baby, a job and a degree to study is hard enough, adding OCD into the mix makes things a heck of a lot more stressful! However, i do feel it's improving slowly. Before I had Oliver I never went to the doctor or really told anyone properly about it and i've made an effort to try and tackle it this year by taking medication, reading self-help books and hopefully cbt will vastly improve it as well oliver gave me the confidence to go and talk to someone so I'm thankful to him for that. Feel free to message me anytime.

xx

I've been doing CBT for nearly 2 years now, and not going to lie, it hasn't helped me at all. I do it for depression, anxiety and slight aggraphobia. The most it's done is help ever so slightly with depression, not enough that I'd say is worth it. The thing that has helped me the most is being pregnant, as I want to be the best I can for my little boy and for him not to turn out like me. Although it is different for different people and I wish you the best of luck with it! xx

heyy how far gone are you im 16 weeks aswell as have a 7 month old, xx

I'm 37 weeks & 3 days. I'm only 16, but being pregnant has made me very determined in certain things like actually getting out of bed during the day, or even leaving the house (with another person, couldn't do it on my own, ever) without wearing make-up. Little things to most people but huge things too me. I've been like it most of my life, told my Mum about feeling down when I was 12 and doctors wanted me on meds, my Mum said no. Then I finally admitted being scared to leave the house when my Mum was making me leave for school when I was 14, prior to that I'd make up excuses not to go or just pretend I'm still getting ready to delay it. Doctors & my counsiller still want me on meds but I refuse as I don't want to rely on them at the age of just 16 and for the rest of my life.
Sorry for the long post, just explaining everything. Not particulary OCD but alot of anxiety xx

dont say sorry for the post hun its nice to hear a background on what your going through and what you went through. my dad also said no to council when i was 8 after my brother passed. im pretty sure i went psycho from that point onwards lol. and i feel the same about meds at the momment. but i am feeling abit more open minded to it now reading what people are saying xx

 

[youngwife20]

I'm another who suffers from OCD and extreme anxiety. I've been suffering with it for a year and half now but only started meds 3 months ago and am starting cbt next week. Anyone willing to share their experiences of cbt? Don't know what to expect really and whether it will actually make any difference. I lost my daughter at 23 weeks pregnant and my ocd then strtd during my pregnancy with my son and has just got progressively worse and worse. Im on the highest dosage of sertraline and while they help a bit, i still struggle most days. Just want it to be gone so i can relax and enjoy my son even more. The feeling got so bad and was at the point of taking over my life and thats when i took that big step and said to my hv who then told me to go and talk to my gp and then strtd my meds. Anyone with ways of dealing with ocd please help!

hey hunni oh wow i just wanna give you a hug i cant imagine what you went through hun i am so sorry. i didnt do cbt long enough to give my experiance on it. i think you have to really be fully commited to it working, i wasnt at the time. how old is your son?

and also we would all love to help is there anything spesific your having issues with to do with your ocd? maybe we can help you find a solution of how to deal with it . im no expert lol but maybe there might be things that work for me that might help. xx

 

[youngwife20]

Here are my answers to the questions.

When did your OCD start?

I think I have possibly always had it. My first clear memories of an episode began when I was 11.

When was it at its worst?

Just before I sought help a couple of years ago.

What helps it get better?

For me it's medication, what I learnt from CBT therapy and trying to look after myself and keep myself healthy. This is only an easing of the symptoms they have not gone away and I still avoid particularly triggering situations.

Does your OH understand your OCD and help you?

He knows about it and he is understanding.

How have other people around you reacted to your OCD? Do they understand?

To my face the people I have told have been very sympathetic.

When did you start meds?

A couple of years ago.

Does your OCD make you ask lots of questions?

Yes I think I tend to run through a lot of possibilities in my head but I might not ask the questions out loud.

Below is the code for anyone who wants to answer the questions too, just cut and past.

[B]When did your OCD start?[/B]

[B]When was it at its worst?[/B]

[B]What helps it get better?[/B]

[B]Does your OH understand your OCD and help you?[/B]

[B]How have other people around you reacted to your OCD? Do they understand?[/B]

[B]When did you start meds?[/B]

[B]Does your OCD make you ask lots of questions?[/B]

oh wow i literarly smiled reading your post. everyone on this post seems to answer questions so perfectly exactly how i would like lol that sounds strange but i cant really explain what i mean. reading your post was actualy relaxing the format in which you posted your responce was very helpfull!! xxxxx also what situations do you find triggering if you dont mind me asking? and i think thats my problem i cant switch my mouth of. if i dont ask the question my head will hurt for ages. i am literaly forced to ask them? honestly im so weird lol even when i know the answer to some questions i still need to ask kind of? lol xx thank you again x

 

[youngwife20]

Hi, I thought I would reply here as have posted a similar thread aasking for opinions as I think I'm suffering with anxiety since lo was born.
I constantly (well more or less) feel tense and have a butterfly feeling in my stomach when it comes to lo sleeping/napping. I don't worry about her safety as we have a sensor pad and I'm over that phase now. my problem is that I constantly worry about whether she has napped enough, napped at the right times, will she be overtired at bedtime etc... and it's driving me mad! We had lots of sleep problems with her for the first 4 months (colic, intolerance, wind, fighting sleep, no daytime naps, waking 5 or 6 tines during the night etc) it was awful. At 4.5 months she miraculously started sttn but I can't shake the nervousness and anxious feelings from those early months. I keep waiting for the sttn to all have been a fluke and for her to revert to being a terrible sleeper!

My husband says he feels like he's walking on egg shells as I'm so on edge all the time. I can be fine then stressed in the blink of an eye if the slightest thing doesn't go to plan. its so unlike me.
I don't think people understand, unless you have suffered from anxiety yourself. It controls your whole day and drives you nuts!

It helps to know there are plenty of other moms out there. I don't want to talk to my GP so am going to give Kalms a try first. My rational mind knows that a lot of the anxiety is unnecessary but I just cant stop it.

Jayney hi! there for sure are other of us! and firstly weldone for your baby to be sstn my daughter didnt do it till she was 6 months old. and also with Kalms. im not really a fan of natural 'remedies' but how is it working for you hun? may i ask why you dont wanna see your gp? i sympathise with how you feel my husband is just waiting for me to snap. i dont know how to handle my emotions when i am axious and i find it hard to explain myself when im in a momment. i personal think it would be better to see ur gp when its not to bad before it gets worse. or maybe ur healthvisitor may be able to offer u some support xx

 

[youngwife20]

I have suffered from OCD and anxiety since I was little and recently have suffered from pnd with both LOs. I am determined not to pass on my anxiety issues to my daughters but have been finding things tough recentlyBig hugs to everyone x

Hello How are you today? do you want to share what your finding tough? xx and weldone for being determined xx

Hi thankyou for your reply! How are you? I am doing ok today we have been on a day out, I find keeping busy helps. I hate being in the house I obsess over lots of things -my current obsession being dust and LO breathing it in as she is crawling, hoovering just makes the obsession worse and I seem to see the house as being "contaminated", but when I'm not feeling anxious the house seems spotless! lol. I have also been feeling pretty isolated recently, I am a very sociable person but have no access to a car during the week so can't go to see friends unless I walk for miles with the double buggy. I am currently struggling with my 2 year olds behaviour so that is getting me down. I went on sertraline for a couple of weeks but felt dreadful on it so stopped taking it as my depression got so bad I could barely talk, and I couldn't seem to think it was like my mind had gone blank I have had CBT in the past which help loads, my OCD got so bad at one point I was suicidal, it had completely stopped me living my life as I had stopped leaving the house, but couldn't live in the house either as I was frightened of germs and dust there. My hands were torn to pieces from constant washing and if I did go out I wore gloves even in the summer. I ended up having a nervous breakdown at work and moving back closer to my parents. I have got a million times better since then but I do have bad phases where my OCD will flare up.

Big hugs to all you ladies and I hope you have all had a good day

aww hun that sounds so bad i gues im lucky i dont as such have cleaning ocd. but i dont like germs so
hubby has to wash everytime he coughs lol when iw as younger i looked like a weirdo i used to put newspaper down before i sat on the buss. i have issues with touching things in public sometimes or even at home if i have to touch it a certian number of times and if i dont i just dont feel right and it can be hard work if no amount of times is enough so i sometimes just give up and walk around with my hand in a fist lol. im so glad its loads better for u hun honestly. u really have come so far.

im okay today but i would consider today to not be one of my best days..xx and gosh i couldnt imagine not having my car , maybe they could come round to ur house? xx ( if ur okay with guests?) or they could drive to somwere local and easy for u to get too . and wow that medication really didnt work well with u , i sometimes have momments when ive just had enough and kind of feel abit numb.. but ive never been on meds so i cant imagine what id be like on meds lol xx

 

[youngwife20]

My day TODAY - well i had a bad morning . because my daughter woke early than usual ( that wasnt the problem) my husband took her out of her cott. and i was looking at the monitor.. and i realised the sencer pad didnt go off!!! i was not happy i didnt know why then after my husband turned the monitor off. but i was like omg turn it back on its not working the sencer pads not working. in that time my axiety built up and he wasnt really listenting lol. so ive been worrieing about that all day. and emotionaly i havent felt the best