Any of you have NO contact with FOB?

[lb]

FOB and I have had minimal contact, other than his harassing calls lately. He keeps blaming me for keeping him from seeing his daughter, which was the complete opposite just a couple months ago, when I was begging him to see her more. But he hasn't changed, and when he does have her, he fucks up. So he hasn't had her in a couple weeks, which is really hard on me. But at least I know who I can ask for help, since I haven't been doing this as long as you girls

 

[lauram_92]

I'm not in the same situation but I am just popping in to say how amazing you all are and how well you are doing to raise your LO's on your own It must be so difficult but everyday is worth it! You are all truly inspiration for being so responsible, mature and loving! xx

I'm sure most people would do it if it came down to it?

Haha I thought it sounded a little patronizing too lol

I don't want to be a bitch or anything because it was obviously mean't kindly, but I just don't get why people make out we are so amazing. I love my son, and I'd have had him no matter what and I am sure most people would have continued their pregnancy whether they were with FOB or not. And even if people are with FOB it doesn't mean they help out a lot. I think we all have just tried to make the best decisions for our babies.

I don't know what you are talking about but its rare that I get called amazing, and most times I feel more felt sorry for then anything,
and you know what ? I think I am fucking amazing its hard doing it alone, you have no one to help you with those sleepless nights, no one to share worries you have with, sometimes not even anyone to talk to ! , when I lived with my ex(not FOB) we would take turns he would give the kids a bath one night me the next and that little break was wonderful!
I'm not saying not all FOB are helpful but at least you are not alone

so I am fucking amazing, and I'm proud and I love that kittycat let me know that some people look up to people like me.

Lol, whats with the 'fucking amazing', could you not just say you think you are amazing? I know what it is like doing it alone, I do it. If you look through half the threads on here you'll see a lot of them are moaning about the FOBs, so maybe we are luckier to not have contact than to have the added stress of them, that is all I am saying.

 

[17thy]

also thought i'd give some to you single ladies, you are stronger than I.

and i dont think its patronizing at all. the fact is, I'm not doing it on my own even though of course I would if I had to. It does take a strong person to raise their child without another parent to help out. a lot of people give up, and their parents end up raising their kids, or something along those lines. So just because someone is trying to tell you that you are doin a good job, why do you have to make that a bad thing????

 

[JoJo16]

Alice is nearly 21 months and FOB saw her twice at 3 weeks old and i have not heard from him since. don't even no if he is still alive lol. alice doesnt no any different atm so its not reli a prob but im not looking forward to the dreaded 'wheres my daddy' question.

 

[lauram_92]

also thought i'd give some to you single ladies, you are stronger than I.

and i dont think its patronizing at all. the fact is, I'm not doing it on my own even though of course I would if I had to. It does take a strong person to raise their child without another parent to help out. a lot of people give up, and their parents end up raising their kids, or something along those lines. So just because someone is trying to tell you that you are doin a good job, why do you have to make that a bad thing????

I'm not making it a bad thing, I said I knew it was meant nicely, but there are a lot harder situations than being a single parent; and I think of myself as being lucky to not have all the problems people seem to have with their OHs/FOBs.

 

[candicex]

I agree with Laura, sometimes I am glad that FOB and I don't have contact, because for the few days he was contacting me via email I couldn't handle it, I was a mess, and I couldn't imagine having to deal with that everyday and even though I did try my hardest to get him in her life, a part of me is glad he isn't because he would of just caused stress and chaos in my life. People always say 'oh you must be so strong to do it on your own' but I have a lot of help from family and friends! So I don't see it as doing it alone. I have heaps of support

 

[QuintinsMommy]

I'm not in the same situation but I am just popping in to say how amazing you all are and how well you are doing to raise your LO's on your own It must be so difficult but everyday is worth it! You are all truly inspiration for being so responsible, mature and loving! xx

I'm sure most people would do it if it came down to it?

Haha I thought it sounded a little patronizing too lol

I don't want to be a bitch or anything because it was obviously mean't kindly, but I just don't get why people make out we are so amazing. I love my son, and I'd have had him no matter what and I am sure most people would have continued their pregnancy whether they were with FOB or not. And even if people are with FOB it doesn't mean they help out a lot. I think we all have just tried to make the best decisions for our babies.

I don't know what you are talking about but its rare that I get called amazing, and most times I feel more felt sorry for then anything,
and you know what ? I think I am fucking amazing its hard doing it alone, you have no one to help you with those sleepless nights, no one to share worries you have with, sometimes not even anyone to talk to ! , when I lived with my ex(not FOB) we would take turns he would give the kids a bath one night me the next and that little break was wonderful!
I'm not saying not all FOB are helpful but at least you are not alone

so I am fucking amazing, and I'm proud and I love that kittycat let me know that some people look up to people like me.

Lol, whats with the 'fucking amazing', could you not just say you think you are amazing? I know what it is like doing it alone, I do it. If you look through half the threads on here you'll see a lot of them are moaning about the FOBs, so maybe we are luckier to not have contact than to have the added stress of them, that is all I am saying.

you kill me, i used the word "fucking" to power behind what I am saying.

when someone complements you as kittycat18 did, just say "thanks" its not that hard to not be a bitch

 

[kittycat18]

I didn't mean to start a fight at all I'm sorry.

 

[lauram_92]

I'm not in the same situation but I am just popping in to say how amazing you all are and how well you are doing to raise your LO's on your own It must be so difficult but everyday is worth it! You are all truly inspiration for being so responsible, mature and loving! xx

I'm sure most people would do it if it came down to it?

Haha I thought it sounded a little patronizing too lol

I don't want to be a bitch or anything because it was obviously mean't kindly, but I just don't get why people make out we are so amazing. I love my son, and I'd have had him no matter what and I am sure most people would have continued their pregnancy whether they were with FOB or not. And even if people are with FOB it doesn't mean they help out a lot. I think we all have just tried to make the best decisions for our babies.

I don't know what you are talking about but its rare that I get called amazing, and most times I feel more felt sorry for then anything,
and you know what ? I think I am fucking amazing its hard doing it alone, you have no one to help you with those sleepless nights, no one to share worries you have with, sometimes not even anyone to talk to ! , when I lived with my ex(not FOB) we would take turns he would give the kids a bath one night me the next and that little break was wonderful!
I'm not saying not all FOB are helpful but at least you are not alone

so I am fucking amazing, and I'm proud and I love that kittycat let me know that some people look up to people like me.

Lol, whats with the 'fucking amazing', could you not just say you think you are amazing? I know what it is like doing it alone, I do it. If you look through half the threads on here you'll see a lot of them are moaning about the FOBs, so maybe we are luckier to not have contact than to have the added stress of them, that is all I am saying.

you kill me, i used the word "fucking" to power behind what I am saying.

when someone complements you as kittycat18 did, just say "thanks" its not that hard to not be a bitch

What I am trying to say is that being a single parent (to me) isn't as hard as everyone makes out. Most of the people would do it if it came down to it and just get on with it. They wouldn't pan off their LO to anyone. Having FOBs involved seem to cause more drama than they are worth. So in a way I think I am lucky!

 

[QuintinsMommy]

of course we all love our LOs, it isn't awful or the worst that we raise them alone and I don't think anyone would expect to give LO away cause we are single? I'm not sure where you are going with that.
and some people do have more problems dealing with a crap FOB then they do being on their own , and I'm thankful for that
If I had a FOB who wanted to take quin every other weekend or something, and this FOB was wonderful and Quin loved his father, I hands down would say thats easier then having a child with no father.(and no I'm not panning him off to anyone because itss hard)
so I don't think its "bad" or whatever for someone to say good job to me or to all of us, who do it every step of the way on our own

 

[~RedLily~]

I didn't mean to start a fight at all I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry hun, you said a nice thing

 

[cabbagebaby]

FOB does have contact with tyler but i dont see him we text but thats about it he has tyler about twice a week i think that what laura ment is that people who raise there children on there own without FOB are no different to people that do have FOB in there LO's lifes and any mother would do what was needed for there child its just what being a mum is doesnt make them any different

 

[lauram_92]

of course we all love our LOs, it isn't awful or the worst that we raise them alone and I don't think anyone would expect to give LO away cause we are single? I'm not sure where you are going with that.
and some people do have more problems dealing with a crap FOB then they do being on their own , and I'm thankful for that
If I had a FOB who wanted to take quin every other weekend or something, and this FOB was wonderful and Quin loved his father, I hands down would say thats easier then having a child with no father.(and no I'm not panning him off to anyone because itss hard)
so I don't think its "bad" or whatever for someone to say good job to me or to all of us, who do it every step of the way on our own

I didn't say it was bad. I just mean people usually think being a single parent is the bottom of the pile, as bad as it gets. When it isn't that bad. I don't have to compromise my parenting styles, only my say counts. I named him myself. I can pick out all his things on my own. I don't have to share him with anyone. And I don't have the arguments a LOT of couples have after having a baby. I think of my self more fortunate than unlucky.

I always see people saying FOB is doing this and that, unfit to watch LO, being agressive/violent/drinking etc. And I don't have that stress to deal with.

Yes, having a good father would obviously be easier. But being a single parent just isn't as hard as people make out.

 

[QuintinsMommy]

this was to cabbagebaby

yea I understand that, but at least your child does have a father and you do get a break, we are all mothers, but it is in away different.

 

[QuintinsMommy]

then maybe I'm the odd man out, who thinks it is hard and lonely.

 

[mayb_baby]

I agree I find Single mummies amazing as they don't have the company of an OH (most people rant on here to get it out, the good things are not usually mentioned) I mean I don't see how that could be offensive or patronizing I mean they are being two parents especially those who have NO contact or a ****

 

[lauram_92]

I agree I find Single mummies amazing as they don't have the company of an OH (most people rant on here to get it out, the good things are not usually mentioned) I mean I don't see how that could be offensive or patronizing I mean they are being two parents especially those who have NO contact or a ****

I'm just trying to say it is not as hard as everyone makes out. So sick of people feeling sorry for me and acting like I am doing something so hard, when it isn't.

I also PM'd Kittycat and she understands what I mean.

 

[mayb_baby]

then maybe I'm the odd man out, who thinks it is hard and lonely.

I understand what you mean as I feel like this during the day (before I started uni) and was sooo happy to hand Michael to Tirone after dinner so I could go a walk or to my mums without Michael

 

[mayb_baby]

I agree I find Single mummies amazing as they don't have the company of an OH (most people rant on here to get it out, the good things are not usually mentioned) I mean I don't see how that could be offensive or patronizing I mean they are being two parents especially those who have NO contact or a ****

I'm just trying to say it is not as hard as everyone makes out. So sick of people feeling sorry for me and acting like I am doing something so hard, when it isn't.

I also PM'd Kittycat and she understands what I mean.

I get the you don't want pity, but its really not pity more admiration. As I am relieved to get a break but those single mummies who don't are unreal as I would crack. I mean Tirone and me are awful at times but without him and his family I would deffo be on medication or else completely crack

 

[lauram_92]

I agree I find Single mummies amazing as they don't have the company of an OH (most people rant on here to get it out, the good things are not usually mentioned) I mean I don't see how that could be offensive or patronizing I mean they are being two parents especially those who have NO contact or a ****

I'm just trying to say it is not as hard as everyone makes out. So sick of people feeling sorry for me and acting like I am doing something so hard, when it isn't.

I also PM'd Kittycat and she understands what I mean.

I get the you don't want pity, but its really not pity more admiration. As I am relieved to get a break but those single mummies who don't are unreal as I would crack. I mean Tirone and me are awful at times but without him and his family I would deffo be on medication or else completely crack

I thought I would be like that, but I'm not. I just get on with it, 'cause I know I have to. If that makes sense.