Any of you have NO contact with FOB?

[lauram_92]

Ummm can I 'kindly' refuse please

Er, think it is a bit late. I've packaged her all up? You could always sell her on ebay or something?

 

[17thy]

Family isn't a hassle!!!! A BAD family is hassle, but a good family is amazing. I love my family and its amazing. I can't believe someone would say that..... :/

 

[QuintinsMommy]

well i guess all I want to say, and all I have been trying to say is its hard for me, and it saddens me quin doesnt have a father, and its nice when people say some nice words to me and understand my situation

 

[lauram_92]

Family isn't a hassle!!!! A BAD family is hassle, but a good family is amazing. I love my family and its amazing. I can't believe someone would say that..... :/

You can't pick who your family are!

 

[QuintinsMommy]

i'd rather live on my own to laura family are hassle !!!

I love my family. I would hate quin to grow up and think that im "too" much hassle.

 

[cabbagebaby]

i guess i have a BAD family then its easy to say something like that if you have family like mine

 

[Melissa.Feb12]

ladies , ladies ladies , come on no fighting ...

then maybe I'm the odd man out, who thinks it is hard and lonely.[/QUOTE]

i do too

 

[newmommy23]

well, not my daughter...but me. I didn't meet my dad until I was 8. Couldn't have given less of a hoot. I just wanted my mom. I never wanted anything else, never asked about him....because I didn't care. Although, the first time I had a sleepover at a friends I had to ask her why there was a man living in her house lol

 

[annawrigley]

Lol, whats with the 'fucking amazing', could you not just say you think you are amazing? I know what it is like doing it alone, I do it. If you look through half the threads on here you'll see a lot of them are moaning about the FOBs, so maybe we are luckier to not have contact than to have the added stress of them, that is all I am saying.

I agree with the bolded tbh. FOB causes so much drama its unreal, I have never been so stressed out in my life than I have been since Noah was born and having to deal with him (FOB, not Noah ). And trying to make the right decisions on whether or not to let him see him, supervised/unsupervised, whether its ok to let him see him when hes just gobbed off at me or barged into my house or comes round in the middle of the night banging on my door. If that choice was taken away from me my life would be soooo much easier. And FOB gives me no help whatsoever, so I don't see my life as any easier than a single mum who has no contact with FOB... It's just as hard, but more stressful

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Am I really the only one that would put up with an annoying FOB so my child could have their father?

If FOB wasn't physically and mentally abusive, if he hadn't threatened to kill both myself and my child, I would have tried my damn hardest to keep him around for her.
He's an asshole, he's stubborn, he's a know-it-all, he's passive aggressive, but I would have put up with all of that if it meant Livi could know her father.

In no way do I think that I am the lucky one because I'm a single mother. I would GLADLY argue with FOB over who gets Liv on what days, what her name was to be, whether or not she's old enough to date, if that meant she had someone to give father's day cards to, someone to call Daddy.

It breaks my heart to watch her grow older and know that soon she'll be asking about him. All I have to give her is a card he wrote when I was pregnant and some unclear pictures of the side of his face. She'll never even know what he really looks like.

ETA: This is baring the FOB is in no way harmful to either of us, just plain old annoying.

 

[candicex]

I think if you live alone it's harder

I think it is easier living alone! I live alone with Ivy now and love it! I don't have to deal with the stress of my annoying mother and my little brothers

 

[candicex]

Family isn't a hassle!!!! A BAD family is hassle, but a good family is amazing. I love my family and its amazing. I can't believe someone would say that..... :/

It depends on your family. My family is really good with Ivy but my mum drives me insane! We are so different and clash and I am sure as hell glad to not be living with her anymore! As Laura said you can't choose your family

Am I really the only one that would put up with an annoying FOB so my child could have their father?

If FOB wasn't physically and mentally abusive, if he hadn't threatened to kill both myself and my child, I would have tried my damn hardest to keep him around for her.
He's an asshole, he's stubborn, he's a know-it-all, he's passive aggressive, but I would have put up with all of that if it meant Livi could know her father.

In no way do I think that I am the lucky one because I'm a single mother. I would GLADLY argue with FOB over who gets Liv on what days, what her name was to be, whether or not she's old enough to date, if that meant she had someone to give father's day cards to, someone to call Daddy.

It breaks my heart to watch her grow older and know that soon she'll be asking about him. All I have to give her is a card he wrote when I was pregnant and some unclear pictures of the side of his face. She'll never even know what he really looks like.

ETA: This is baring the FOB is in no way harmful to either of us, just plain old annoying.

I would do this too, and I have tried, but FOB wants nothing to do with Ivy never seen her and never will. But then again I am slightly glad I don't have to deal with his shit cause he just makes me cry, get angry and all stressed out when ever I have contact from him. I would LOVE for him to be in her life even if I did have to put up with the added stress but that's not going to happen. And I am sure what all the other girls who don't have contact with FOB are the same. They are trying to say that it is less stressful not having him around but i'm sure if it came down to it and FOB wasn't harmful in any way all girls would let their FOB see their child...

 

[wishuwerehere]

Am I really the only one that would put up with an annoying FOB so my child could have their father?

If FOB wasn't physically and mentally abusive, if he hadn't threatened to kill both myself and my child, I would have tried my damn hardest to keep him around for her.
He's an asshole, he's stubborn, he's a know-it-all, he's passive aggressive, but I would have put up with all of that if it meant Livi could know her father.

In no way do I think that I am the lucky one because I'm a single mother. I would GLADLY argue with FOB over who gets Liv on what days, what her name was to be, whether or not she's old enough to date, if that meant she had someone to give father's day cards to, someone to call Daddy.

It breaks my heart to watch her grow older and know that soon she'll be asking about him. All I have to give her is a card he wrote when I was pregnant and some unclear pictures of the side of his face. She'll never even know what he really looks like.

ETA: This is baring the FOB is in no way harmful to either of us, just plain old annoying.

I agree with this - my FOB is an absolute pain in the arse sometimes, he winds me up, makes life awkward and can't never be bothered to make a specific trip just to see his daughter, but because he's not actually hurtful to either of us then I make the effort to keep him around

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Family isn't a hassle!!!! A BAD family is hassle, but a good family is amazing. I love my family and its amazing. I can't believe someone would say that..... :/

It depends on your family. My family is really good with Ivy but my mum drives me insane! We are so different and clash and I am sure as hell glad to not be living with her anymore! As Laura said you can't choose your family

Am I really the only one that would put up with an annoying FOB so my child could have their father?

If FOB wasn't physically and mentally abusive, if he hadn't threatened to kill both myself and my child, I would have tried my damn hardest to keep him around for her.
He's an asshole, he's stubborn, he's a know-it-all, he's passive aggressive, but I would have put up with all of that if it meant Livi could know her father.

In no way do I think that I am the lucky one because I'm a single mother. I would GLADLY argue with FOB over who gets Liv on what days, what her name was to be, whether or not she's old enough to date, if that meant she had someone to give father's day cards to, someone to call Daddy.

It breaks my heart to watch her grow older and know that soon she'll be asking about him. All I have to give her is a card he wrote when I was pregnant and some unclear pictures of the side of his face. She'll never even know what he really looks like.

ETA: This is baring the FOB is in no way harmful to either of us, just plain old annoying.

I would do this too, and I have tried, but FOB wants nothing to do with Ivy never seen her and never will. But then again I am slightly glad I don't have to deal with his shit cause he just makes me cry, get angry and all stressed out when ever I have contact from him. I would LOVE for him to be in her life even if I did have to put up with the added stress but that's not going to happen. And I am sure what all the other girls who don't have contact with FOB are the same. They are trying to say that it is less stressful not having him around but i'm sure if it came down to it and FOB wasn't harmful in any way all girls would let their FOB see their child...

I didn't mean that the other girls would purposefully keep FOB away for no reason, didn't mean it to come off that way
It just aggravates me when people say things like "we're the lucky ones!" etc, because sure, it may make life a bit easier on us since we don't have to deal with the stress, but my daughter will never know her father, what about her? She's lucky that her father is a monster and can't see her because it makes it easier on her mom? I just don't see it.

 

[Bexxx]

I think I have the best of both worlds. Atm with Isla I like things done MY way and OH doesn't do that, ie he doesn't hold her right, doesn't talk to her properly etc but he's only here for a few days at a time if that so he doesn't wind me up too much
So just when it's starting to get too much on my own, he's back, when he starts getting annoying, he's gone

 

[lavitabelle]

Just my two cents

Technically, I have no contact with FOB, but that doesn't mean he doesn't see his child in a roundabout way.
I talk to LOs gran and she has him overnight etc, and he (FOB) still lives at home.

FOB doesn't express interest in my child at all, doesn't call/text/fb to ask how he is, doesn't pay maintenence, doesn't get up in the morning when my LO is over, doesn't do day trips with my LO and his grandmother (FOB's mum), gets drunk, goes out with friends and ignores his child etc.

So while FOB still see's his child, he isn't really a 'father' iykwim?

I would love it if FOB decided he didn't want to be around LO anymore at all, because I would rather my LO grew up not knowing their father, than knowing their father and knowing he didn't care nor give a shit about my LO at all.

It would be easier on me to both explain, and emotionally, for my LO to ask why they had no daddy around, than for my LO to ask why daddy didn't care when he's around.

Sometimes having a FOB there isn't the best thing for your child, even if they aren't a physical threat, there is no telling the emotional damage that can be done by having to force a parent into someone's life.


Does it make me bad? I suppose it depends how you look at it.

 

[Rhio92]

Lol, whats with the 'fucking amazing', could you not just say you think you are amazing? I know what it is like doing it alone, I do it. If you look through half the threads on here you'll see a lot of them are moaning about the FOBs, so maybe we are luckier to not have contact than to have the added stress of them, that is all I am saying.

I agree with the bolded tbh. FOB causes so much drama its unreal, I have never been so stressed out in my life than I have been since Noah was born and having to deal with him (FOB, not Noah ). And trying to make the right decisions on whether or not to let him see him, supervised/unsupervised, whether its ok to let him see him when hes just gobbed off at me or barged into my house or comes round in the middle of the night banging on my door. If that choice was taken away from me my life would be soooo much easier. And FOB gives me no help whatsoever, so I don't see my life as any easier than a single mum who has no contact with FOB... It's just as hard, but more stressful

Literally, everything that Anna said.

But everyone has valid points. Everyone has different experiences and feelings, so there's no point arguing, it's sillyyyyyyyy

 

[lauram_92]

I'm just saying that I am thankful I don't have all the arguments etc, with a FOB to deal with.

 

[QuintinsMommy]

Am I really the only one that would put up with an annoying FOB so my child could have their father?

If FOB wasn't physically and mentally abusive, if he hadn't threatened to kill both myself and my child, I would have tried my damn hardest to keep him around for her.
He's an asshole, he's stubborn, he's a know-it-all, he's passive aggressive, but I would have put up with all of that if it meant Livi could know her father.

In no way do I think that I am the lucky one because I'm a single mother. I would GLADLY argue with FOB over who gets Liv on what days, what her name was to be, whether or not she's old enough to date, if that meant she had someone to give father's day cards to, someone to call Daddy.

It breaks my heart to watch her grow older and know that soon she'll be asking about him. All I have to give her is a card he wrote when I was pregnant and some unclear pictures of the side of his face. She'll never even know what he really looks like.

ETA: This is baring the FOB is in no way harmful to either of us, just plain old annoying.

you are not alone I would do anything for annoying fob, who wants quin on weekends, wants to fight with me for when he gets to see him etc.
sometimes i wish quin could have a father so bad, I just cry.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Am I really the only one that would put up with an annoying FOB so my child could have their father?

If FOB wasn't physically and mentally abusive, if he hadn't threatened to kill both myself and my child, I would have tried my damn hardest to keep him around for her.
He's an asshole, he's stubborn, he's a know-it-all, he's passive aggressive, but I would have put up with all of that if it meant Livi could know her father.

In no way do I think that I am the lucky one because I'm a single mother. I would GLADLY argue with FOB over who gets Liv on what days, what her name was to be, whether or not she's old enough to date, if that meant she had someone to give father's day cards to, someone to call Daddy.

It breaks my heart to watch her grow older and know that soon she'll be asking about him. All I have to give her is a card he wrote when I was pregnant and some unclear pictures of the side of his face. She'll never even know what he really looks like.

ETA: This is baring the FOB is in no way harmful to either of us, just plain old annoying.

you are not alone I would do anything for annoying fob, who wants quin on weekends, wants to fight with me for when he gets to see him etc.
sometimes i wish quin could have a father so bad, I just cry.

Same here, hon. I got so excited with my ex because he was really stepping up to the plate and everything, but that all went to shit. I feel like I failed her twice now. I couldn't keep FOB around and I couldn't keep the closest thing she's had to a dad around. Sometimes it gets too much and I just bawl.