any other over 35 first time mums?

Discussion in 'Baby & Parenting' started by kosh, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. kosh

    kosh proud new mum!

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    well, there are TTC and pregnant over 35 boards, so I thought I'd start a thread where maybe we can give each other support and share the joys of being a first time mum at an 'advanced age' :winkwink:

    I'll start.

    I think I can summarize my experience so far by saying that:
    I didn't expect:
    1) to love my son sooo much :cloud9: I mean, I knew I'd love him, of course, but I didn't know how this new type of love would feel. It's such a pure, unconditional, immense love!
    2) the first weeks/months to be sooo hard. Again, I knew they'd be difficult but I did not expect to feel in total limbo :wacko: I'm not a very organised person anyway, but now it's caos, I feel sometimes have to choose between either having a nap, or a shower or breakfast! I thought that by now I'd be going everywhere with LO, but I can hardly leave the house.
    3) to feel so sh*t physically! (I should say I am well over 35...). I pulled my back the other day lifting the car seat and is killing me! and the stitches still hurt too :nope:
    and last but not least,
    4) to be ob BnB so much! :haha:

    anyone else? :flower:
     
  2. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    Hi,

    I'm 44 and a first-time mum to Finn, who was born early in February, so in-between recovering from pre-eclampsia, c-section and terrible last few weeks of pregnancy (first 32wks were fine, even to wk 35), so am slowly getting used to this 'motherhood' thing, particuarly as we had a mc when we first started and it took another two+ years to get LO!

    Fortunately, my OH helped out alot the first weeks and even now, will take him for a few hours when he gets home from work, e.g. will do the 7pm feed, etc., but am very tired myself as baby is a night owl like me (5am feed is very hard, tho), but to be honest, don't mind too much as can sleep somewhat after morning feed, etc. I'm planning on being a SAHM after my maternity leave ends, but will admit that these first few months are pretty hard....

    As we were so lucky to have this little one (were about to start IVF the month or next that I got pregnant naturally!) , and probably won't 'try' again (if I get pregnant again naturally, fine!), but it was such an obsession until we were successful, that I am determined to enjoy every moment of his babyhood -- but lack of sleep is hard!

    best wishes

    ps. I love BnB as the other ladies were so helpful during pregnancy and now, babyhood!
     
  3. snowflakes

    snowflakes Well-Known Member

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    Yes, yes, yes, I am 39, 40 on March 17. Grrrrrr This is actually our second, I had a stillbirth 4 years ago, in December. But, oh my, I did not know it was going to be so rough those first couple months either... My LO is a preemie and we had to deal with lots of medical issues.... And let me just say that reflux is the Devil! I hated seeing her go thru everything she did, but dealing with the silent reflux was just horrible. The constant not wanting to feed, the constant crying (because she is hungry and in pain), the drastic weight loss and the fear of another hospitalization.

    But, their is a silver lining.. She is doing awesome now and is a totally different baby. I thank God everyday that she is no longer going thru all that mess. I am happier than I ever been and I didnt know that was possible! ok, so I am a bit tired, but I can live with that, as long as my LO stays healthy...

    Do you plan on having more? Just curious, you don't have to answer. We most likely are not going to have anymore. xxx




    Edit: I also wanted to add, had an emergency Csection because of high blood pressure, then I hemmoraged, almost died in my room before the surgery, they rushed me to surgery and had to have blood transfussions after because of loss of blood. This is the main reason we most likely will not have another. My OH saw all this happen, with 15 nurses standing over me, one crying next to me trying to fan me, another pushing on where I had my csection incession and another with her arm in my V up to her elbow pulling out clots of blood. I passed out, thank God, but OH was pretty tramatized by it all and is afraid of it happening again.
     
  4. eva2010

    eva2010 Well-Known Member

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    me! I'm a first-timer aged 36 and had my LO last year on May 30th by emergency c section. I have two friends of the same age who also had their first babies recently, so we're out there somewhere but not too often on these boards maybe!? Anyway, nice to meet you ladies and here's a bit about me :)

    1. Although I'm an 'older' mum I can clearly see now I was never ready to have kids until I was into my 30s and I love that I have a better head on my shoulders and got my career all sorted before having him.

    2. I look at my son like he's a miracle, and sometimes cant believe I made him, I love to watch him grow and explore the world

    3. i used to be quite 'unconventional' in that i loved to go on spontaneous trips, backpacking to exotic locations and hanging out for days in tents at music festivals, now I enjoy cooking for my OH and building a home for our family - I once said I'd prefer to keep travelling the world and probably not marry etc not now!

    xx
     
  5. eva2010

    eva2010 Well-Known Member

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    sorry for your losses ladies, but congrats on your lovely bundles! I second the nightmare that is reflux, urgh. LO is hopefully 'due' to grow out of it soon, apparently by about a year I think the muscle causing it all develops.... I would definitely want more kids but not sure how kind nature will be to me over the next few years!

    xx
     
  6. Neko

    Neko Well-Known Member

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    Avery isn't my first, I have a 12 year old. But it's nice to know I'm not the only older mom here. :)
     
  7. snowflakes

    snowflakes Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Eva2010. I think what is so bad about the reflux is its so hard to treat! LO had much more serious medical problems, i.e. heart problems, but that was clear cut, as far as the treatment. We went round and round with figuring out what would work with LO and her silent reflux. Ahhhh, so glad that is over. Oh, I should probably knock on wood, yes.... xxx
     
  8. eva2010

    eva2010 Well-Known Member

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    i'll knock on the wood too! Aw hope your LOs heart problem is something that is easily treatable and will go away.... Reflux is so tricky isnt it? With LO it showed most at night in that he just would wake all night, for about six months. When he first teethed and was night waking we actually didn't notice that he had a tooth, because his reflux made him as sleepless as a teething baby. Hope you LOs reflux stays away, and just read your edit, that's so traumatising for you all, jeez, it's hard to come to terms with an experience like that! My epidural didnt work for my labour and they used the same one for surgery so I felt a lot of what I shouldnt and had lots of pain, so if I do have another I want a VBAC. Whenever I hear people wanting to have c sections I really want to say they are so NOT the easy option although I appreciate why they have to be done at times,

    xx
     
  9. Rabbit11

    Rabbit11 Well-Known Member

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    ME ME ME ME! I'm well over 35 and just had my first LO!! It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

    I am pulling grey hair left and right!!! :)
     
  10. Zinky

    Zinky Well-Known Member

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    Me as well! I'm 38 and a first time mum. I've had a career and spent my 20's aand majority of 30's working in a high stressed job. I've lived my life and am now loving being a stay at home mum. I have friends in their 20's who have just had babies and I don't feel any different from them.
     
  11. snowflakes

    snowflakes Well-Known Member

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    Oh my, you felt everything? Geezzzzz, now that would really suck too! I agree, no more csections for me, I didn't want one in the first place, but you know how that goes. Yes, the complications I had were probably the most traumatising thing I've ever been thru in my life, other then losing Sophia, that was worse, but as far as physical pain, OMG, it hurt so bad when they were pounding on my stomach, I was screaming, my OH was sitting on the couch by the window in our room crying, the nurse next was crying because they thought they were going to lose me before the dr could get in there and advise surgery. I was so glad I passed out. Poor OH had to call my parents (they had already left the hospital and drove home) and tell them what was going on, my mom said that he was crying so hard that she could hardly understand him. Then of course my parents started freaking out. It was a mess. And yes my OH went to therapy a few times for it, because he was having nightmares about it. But, he is fine now, as am I. All I can say is, "Shi* happens!" lol! xxx and hugs!!!!
     
  12. Kiki09

    Kiki09 Mummy to a miracle

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    Me :), so, had 2 losses before getting my gorgeous little man, who came 4 weeks early weighing 4lb 13oz but needed no help and did not even have jaundice bless him. Had to ave a c section which in itself was pain free and only became a problem when it sprung a leak but all in all I was amazed at how little it restricted me and no pain really.

    I would love another, just a bit scared with my history having lost 1 at 15 weeks, even though it was down to bad luck not anything I coud have prevented it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through :( then losing another at 9 weeks before finally getting our dream come true!

    Love having a thread for us "oldies" :)
     
  13. BabaPu

    BabaPu Well-Known Member

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    My lo will be 1 in April and I will be 40 in August :happydance:

    Loving being a mum and its amazing how much my life has changed. I never had any kind of maternal instinct until suddenly my ovaries started to throb :haha:. Luckily it didn't take long at all to conceive despite my age and I fell pregnant instantly - dh was gutted :winkwink:

    I think Ive spent a lot of my life being selfish - not in a bad way but just because I could. We did the usual regular holidays, eating out, spending money on crap and doing just as we pleased. My life now centres around by darling boy and I'm dreading going back to work in April even though it will only be part time.

    I'm already thinking about the next ...
     
  14. kosh

    kosh proud new mum!

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    hi ladies :hi: nice to know I'm not the only one!

    so sorry for your loss snowflakes :hugs:

    we really would like two...so we hope we can have another one in a couple of years. if not we'd consider adopting.

    OMG I can imagine!



    well, I didn't want to say mine...but seeing I am not alone: I turned 41 last monday ::growlmad:
     
  15. kosh

    kosh proud new mum!

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    Hi LouiseET -I'm in Newcastle too!

     
  16. hellywelly

    hellywelly Mummy to Harry

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    Hey ladies :flower::flower::flower:

    I am 39 and had Harry last November it was an emergency section but it was all fine. Yes I was house bound a bit but the first 6 weeks flew by. I was actually surprised about how much energy I had tending to Harry's every need.

    I have spent the last 23 years of my life, building my career, travelling, having fun and always knew I wanted to be an 'older mummy' - basically because even at 38 I thought I still had so much to learn and so many more places to travel.

    I do not regret at all leaving it till now ....

    there are so many reasons but I shall summarise:

    1. Patience - I have loads
    2. Wisdom/common sense - seriously I was a completely different person in my 20's - I was still a child my self.
    3. Career - safety of a job
    4. Financially set
    5. Happily married 100% and knew that I had to have a very supportive/caring/understanding hubby.

    But more importantly loads of love to give.

    There is only one incy tincy regret - if I had had harry in my early 30's I reckon I would be a mother of 4 by now - so my only incy tincy regret is that having 1 more is more realistic.

    I love having to not worry about anything apart from my bubba - no worries about money - don't get me wrong we are not rich - but are financially set.

    Nice to see this thread - and to be honest with you I was at my most healthiest mid 30's onwards - I had no complications during pregnancy - only glitch was the EMCS because Harry did not want to come out after waters breaking - but the fact that he was 9 12oz I am secretly happy he came out 'via the sunroof lol'

    xxxxx
    :hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  17. snowflakes

    snowflakes Well-Known Member

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    Hellywelly, I agree with you completely on the list you made, I feel the exact same way. I LOVED my 20's and 30's, I traveled, found the career that I love, financially set and a terrific marriage (after many losers, I might add. Some winners, not many though). I too was selfish and loved every minute of it! And the biggest thing for me is, I feel like I accomplished everything and did almost everything I wanted to do as a single or non-mommy person, kwim? Got my degree and had a Blast in college, travel aboard many many times and well partied like a rock star, probably a little too much in my 20's.. lol! I don't think I get serious until late 20's, early 30's. Life was good then, but even better now! Four years ago (Sophia was a surprise, btw) when I lost Sophia I thought my life was over, but you do heal as time goes on, not that I don't think of her everyday, its just gotten easier, therapy helped as well.... Anyway, I just wanted to say I agreed, but babbled on!

    Kosh, thank you for your lovely and kind words. Yes, never did I expect what happened after the csection to happen. I actually hide the bleeding for a bit because I knew they would come back in and hurt me, which in retrospect that was incredibly stupid. But, Its over now, thank goodness and I have my little Lily to show for it. I can honestly say, I would do it all over again in a heart beat!

    xxx and hugs to all you "hot" oldies!

     
  18. Chocoholic123

    Chocoholic123 Well-Known Member

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    I'd not long turned 35 when I had LO last summer. I'd never really thought about getting married and having kids til I met DH when I was 28 but it all progressed from there over the last 7 years and now I couldn't imagine not having DH and LO. I was nervous how I would cope being a mum as I've NEVER been around kids there are none in our family and none of my friends had them til the year I got pregnant so I felt very inexperienced but everyone says I'm doing well, LO is happy and healthy so I'm glad we did it and at the right time I think.
     
  19. Zinky

    Zinky Well-Known Member

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    This is exactly how I feel. I tell DH if I was 10 years younger we would have had 3 children. I'm not sure if we will have anymore but I am happy and content with my little family :flower:
     
  20. patientgirl

    patientgirl Well-Known Member

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    Yep, me! I'll be 36 in May. We were ntnp for 3 months before getting pregnant. I had a wonderful pregnancy and a straightforward labour after being induced at 12 days over.
    I feel that everything happens for a reason at the right time and am happy that I'm a mum at the age I am. Saying that, I don't know if I'll ever feel wise enough, despite already learning a few big lessons in life over the last 7 weeks!
    x
     

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