any other over 35 first time mums?

[Claireyb1]

Very quick hello. Tired and it's late. Skweek. CONGRATULATIONS! She's so adorable. Well done. And how lovely to have a photo with her eyes open too! Great that BF is working for you. It can be hard work in the first few weeks but it gets a lot easier. I had anemergency c-section too. 8cm and then failure to progress with fetal distress. Definitely let people do everything for you. Especially cooking, housework and bringing you things. Your job is to eat, drink lots of water, go to the toilet and feed Annabel. Everything else can wait! I'm feeling broody too seeing the photo! What a little darling. Has it sunk in yet that you're a Mummy?
Angel, have you tried Asda own brand Little Angels nappies? I think they're called Simply Dry or something like that. Cheaper than most and pretty good.
Had an emotional day today. Day 2 at nursery and Kia was hysterical when I left her. Broke my heart to walk away. Felt wrong and very unnatural. I phoned them 10 mins later and they said she was ok. She was a bit tearful when I collected her. She's been seriously cluster feeding this evening, like a newborn going through a growth spurt. And she had her MMR vaccination today too. Mummy's brave little girl. Chat properly soon xx

Hi Leeze, how was Kia after her MMR? was it any different to all the other vaccinations? I would say the cluster feeding is prob due to her having the jab??? Hope she is ok.
We use the Asda Little angels nappies - we use both the comfort dry and active fit ones. - they are brilliant. I order them online as I don't have an Asda near me and these are the only things I need from there.Minimum order is only £25 too.

 

[Claireyb1]

Skeewek!!! Anabell is here!!! She is gorgeous!!! I am sooo happy for you!!! I hope she will bring the joy that our LOs bring to us even during lack of sleep and teething nightmare . You will love it, it is all worth it!!
I know Clio and I had to have a emcs and for me it wasn't that bad . I was back working out after 5 weeks ( of course grading as easy as I could and no ab work until I was 8 weeks but I felt a lot better after 2 weeks of the surgery. Just take it easy and enjoy your L. Sweet little Annabell.

Claire: just became your friend on Facebook and man you are a knockout. And so as your hubby . No wonder you LO is so gorgeous herselfc good genes. Actually the over 35 mommies here are all beautiful and none of us look like in are on our 40s or close to it!!! Demi Moore better watch it !!
Night night ladies. Hope thiago and all of our LOs sleep thru the night !!

Thanks Borboleta! your comment is way too kind,but I agree that us over 35 mummies are certainly yummy mummies!!! we don't look are ages that's for sure (you certainly don't have the face or figure of a 35+) I can't quite believe I will be 39 in Jan!
was hoping to maybe have my 2nd and last child by the time I was 40, but the fact that LO is such a terrible sleeper I just don't think I can face TTC anytime soon,let alone being sleep deprived and pregnant
Any of you ladies thinking about TTC again and if so,when and how old will you be? - sorry if this has already been discussed, but I'm behind on all the conversations.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Skweek congratulations, she is just beautiful. Glad she has arrived safely in the world, she really is a precious little princess - well done!

Clairey I will be 37 in 2 weeks, I had kind of entertained TTC when I go back to work, but like you I have been blessed with a terrible sleeper and I can't face it! I've just had 6 rough nights with L and with my DH nana dying I've been alone a lot. Shes with her daddy now and ive sneaked back to bed. Mind you our good night's are what other people would call bad night's!

Angel we used to have critical nappy failure with every poo, I tried pampers, huggies, little angels but nothing would contain those bad boys! We don't have very many now L is mostly on solids. I used to dread going out living in fear of the poo explosions!

Right ladies I'm off for a nap, after 6 nights of only a few hours sleep I'm beat...

 

[Rowan75]

hey ladies m giggling in her playpen yey!

SKweek - congratulations!!!! so so lovely! She is Gorgeous!!! How exciting!

Sorry the birth went a bit haywire - glad you are both safe and sound and well - aye relax as much as you can - milk it even lol!

How many of us had sections I wonder or another form of assisted birth? We had failed vontoose (ha spell check wants to change this to mongoose imagine that being up there!) and forceps as there wasn't time for an emergency section the consultant said and she was too far down

storm so sorry to hear about all your losses and crappy times - its wierd how its falls that way sometimes - a few years of absolute suckiness and then hopefully settled times..

re nappies we used huggies newborn for 2 weeks then went to pampers - i use active in the day (I change them every 2 hours) and then baby dry at night

leeze hope Kias had a better day today it must be so hard

re teeth - M has only 4 through fully the others are all in various stages of moving down they've broken through the gum but not fully there yet

re pg and sleepless nights - its ok you know....like you're already used to the sleep deprivation and running on adrenalin so it just kind of blends in!

weve been to playgroup this am - our fav one and M was in her element - all over the shop wanting to play with the big kids and at the singing part she was trying to pinch the leaders crib sheet! lmao!

she was going through a phase of biting a few days ago and Im covered in little bite marks -the other day she bit me so hard i really shouted out and oh she was sooo upset - but she hasnt done it since!

tried her with halved cherry tomatoes yest she LOved them! shes also learning to spit out instead of choking / being sick so thats great!

she needs new shoes - going to have to venture to the retail park yuk!

hope all good

 

[Storm1jet2]

Leeze meant to say I know exactly how you feel with nursery, L is in 2 days a week until I go back to work to try and get her settled, she screams when I leave her off and cries as soon as she sees me, heartbreaking!

Rowan, you are superwoman, im so exhausted I just couldntvtake the morning sickness, I had morning sickness, heartburn, odema, pelvic pain, pregnancy acne, it was a mass of tiny niggles! That said I was fortunate to have a straightforward labour, done and dusted in 12 hours, only gas and air, she arrived 4 hours after I checked in at hospital. She did poo though so they kidnapped us for 2 days, hospital was awful, never again would I stay!

But hey I might change my mind about TTC when I get back to work, dreading it!

 

[SabrinaKat]

sorry haven't posted today? yesterday? recently? -- all the days have melted into one....grumble. LO has a terrible cold and teething and explosive poopie, so from about 3pm yesterday, not great (e.g. explosive poopie everywhere, runny nose (baby) and me with a sore shoulder. Last night, LO slept from 8-......to 12, then we had a party from 12-3, so I slept from 3 to 6am and class today was horrible and I almost cried at how obtuse some of the students were (one is always complaining, so it's not just my teaching)....then, I get a text from OH to say LO had a temperature at creche and they have given him calpol. However, we are home now and LO seems very happy, content, playing with his toys and smiling loads, but it was 24 hours of hell.

personals:

skweek - congratulations!
clio - we do leave monitor off at creche, but it makes me less anxious at night so I can sleep a little....
nappies - we use Tesco active as huggies didn't contain the leakage and pampers seemed to give LO a slight reddish rash (LO seems to have inherited my sensitive skin...)

um, am so sorry, but am exhausted and will at least pop back in later today, if LO allows....

bye!

 

[charlie15]

hello all would love to join this thread for a bit of support!! I'm 39 and first time mum. i had my gorgeous girl, Sophia, on 5th nov, so she's now 10 days old. the birth itself wasn't great has had a 4 day latent back labour followed by failure to progress with all sorts of other things that resulted in an emergency c sec. it was a far cry from my doctor free water birth dream but now bubs is here and we're all healthy that's all that matters!

now onto next challenge which is cluster feeding, and a bubs that won't sleep in her basket for long than 10 minutes for the last 2 days! what a steep but amazing learning curve!! does anyone here have any experience safe co sleeping??

skweek i see your little girl arrived, congrats, it's tough after an emergency c sec isn't it? my oh has been great and luckily he has 3 weeks off, but it's hard! i really want to use my sling but can't just yet. i know it would really help to settle bubs and do other things, maybe in a couple of weeks.

 

[clio]

How many of us had sections I wonder or another form of assisted birth? We had failed vontoose (ha spell check wants to change this to mongoose imagine that being up there!)

(will respond properly, but oh Rowan, I'm still laughing!)

 

[Claireyb1]

hello all would love to join this thread for a bit of support!! I'm 39 and first time mum. i had my gorgeous girl, Sophia, on 5th nov, so she's now 10 days old. the birth itself wasn't great has had a 4 day latent back labour followed by failure to progress with all sorts of other things that resulted in an emergency c sec. it was a far cry from my doctor free water birth dream but now bubs is here and we're all healthy that's all that matters!

now onto next challenge which is cluster feeding, and a bubs that won't sleep in her basket for long than 10 minutes for the last 2 days! what a steep but amazing learning curve!! does anyone here have any experience safe co sleeping??

skweek i see your little girl arrived, congrats, it's tough after an emergency c sec isn't it? my oh has been great and luckily he has 3 weeks off, but it's hard! i really want to use my sling but can't just yet. i know it would really help to settle bubs and do other things, maybe in a couple of weeks.

Hi Charlie, welcome to the thread! and many congrats on the birth of your little Sophia! we would love to see some pictures, but understand that you have a lot going on at this early stage.
Sorry to hear the birth didn't go as planned, but tbh I don't really know many mums that had the birth that they had planned. I wanted a lovely water birth but had to induced in the end so that put paid to that idea
As long as you are both fine that's all that matters.

I know very well the things you describe. My Lucy wouldn't be put down hardly at all when small. I just went with it really and she just grew out of it eventually. I too couldn't put her in her basket or cot for any length of time before she would wake up so I ended up co sleeping. I booted my DF out of our bed and me and LO took up residence she mainly slept on me (as she just wouldn't let me put her down) not ideal I know but I never once had any scares or fear of rolling off etc.Now she just sleeps next to me.
As for the cluster feeding,again very very normal as she is getting your supply established. Hang in there with it and it will all smooth out soon. Don't be too freaked out by how often they want to feed at this age, it is all very normal and try to ignore any people that say they should only feed every 4 hours.......utter cr@p!
Whereabouts in London are you?
Hope to see more of you on here!

xx

 

[clio]

Hi everyone!

Yay! Another member! Welcome Charlie! You are in good company here, especially with Skweek having just given birth, as well. I don't know much about co-sleeping but I think Kosh is the one to ask about that. Or does anyone else know?

I'm another EMCS mummy! I had no plans for anything other than a heavily epidural-ized birth, but didn't expect J to get caught in the birth canal. In fact, my labour was the speediest ever. Water broke at around 2:30, contractions reached every 2 minutes within half an hour, arrived at the hospital at 6 cm dilated (and was so pleased to hear that meant I could get the epi right away), was at 10 cm in another half hour, and then...nothing. J (who even had a small head at birth--10th percentile) couldn't get past my pelvis. But the rule was that I had to push for 2 hours before they would intervene, and so I did, with contractions less than a minute apart (I couldn't even use my arms to lift my legs in the end; my husband and the nurse had to do it for me). I was begging for a c/s after an hour. But don't worry; this wasn't traumatizing in the least (honestly)--I had no plans for and no expectations of my labour. I chose to go in with no plan. The only thing I knew I did not want was a forceps delivery; I had studied the history of midwifery and didn't trust those things in the least.

Onto other matters. So J was at Oma's yesterday, and when I dropped him off, she asked how long ago he had had a bottle. I said I couldn't remember, but not to worry; he would ask her for one when he wanted it (he says "bap" quite clearly, which is really helpful). Oma didn't respond in any strange or confused manner, so I just assumed she understood me. Turns out, she didn't believe me. She tried on two different occasions to feed him a bottle, and he was having none of it. Then, when my husband came to pick him up, and of course stayed a bit to chat, Jonah walked through the kitchen, waving some toy, didn't look at anyone, said "bap!" and kept toddling on. Then they heard him in the hall, calling out "bap!" again. So OH made him up a bottle, which he drained in seconds. Oma just sat there, a bit stunned.

In other news, our kinda-CIO is still working. Since we started, he's been STTN. I also pushed back his bedtime, so now he wakes up at 6 am instead of 4. The naps are also working; we just dump him in the crib at the appointed time, and he cries for a moment or so and then gives in.

Oh man--I just looked at the clock and have to go! I'll be back soon with the personals.

 

[Borboleta]

Storm and rowan: my heart goes to you ladies. It must be really hard to have to leave your LO crying at crèche. I would be crying too . Hopefully they will get used to and that is part of their daily routine. Just hang in there. I said this before and my mom was a working mom and I never felt like she abandoned us. I will always give her much respect because I can just imagine how hard that must had been for her.

Claire: I go back and forth on having another one. Like you I am 39 and I worry about that. If I was 36 I would definetely wait a couple of years and ttc again but everytime I go to Walmart and see a lady that has 2 babies and they are crying or not behaving my desire of having another one goes away . And in my early US years I baby sit for a family that first had one baby and then had another one so I know how hard it is to go from one to two ! It really is double the work and your eyes have to be on the two of them. But there is a part of me that thinks if it is already madness let's keep going them ! Not sure yet what to do.

Leeze or Rowan: not sure which one of you mention about using pampers cruisers during the day and baby dry at night. But would you mind me asking if you use the cruisers at night and if you like it? I bought 2 boxes of cruisers and now I wish I bought one of the baby dry too just in case the cruisers are not good for night time.

And I had a emcs too. Thiago had a prolapsed cord ( still this day I thank the Lord I was not crazy to want to deliver him at home) which it did saved his life. After he was delivered they found out I had Vasa Previa ( blood vessels involved in the baby's circulation grows along the membranes in the lower part of the uterus at the cervical opening.) . So if not detected ( mine wasnt until after the placenta was delivered) and the cervix begins to dilate, the blood vessels present at the cervix can rupture and baby will experience rapid blood loss and die before doctors can do anything. The chance of stillbirth may be as high as 95%!!! That is why I call thiago my miracle baby because he really was ! He was so smart that he pulled the cord to let us know that he couldn't come vaginally .

Talk to you girls soon!

 

[Borboleta]

Clio: love when you said dumped him in his crib !!! Ine day I will do the same with thiago. My husband is the one that does not want me to do that ! And I tell you you have a smart one in your hands. Little J is something else.

Charlie: glad you found us. And with thiago he slept in his battery operated rocker for his first 3 months. He loved it and so did we. He slept really good in it. I think it was that rocking motion all night long that did it for him. And not sure about cluster feeding. We did combi feeding and I was not able to breast feed for more than 2 1/2 months. Did not enjoy the experience either. It was really hard for me. Hope your little one is doing well.

 

[Leeze]

Hi all. Hard evening here. Can't get Kia settled. Not sure if related to teething, MMR or starting nursery. Sorry again for not doing personals but just wanted to say hello.
Welcome to Charlie. Sounds like you're doing a great job. Those early days and weeks are tough but it gets a lot easier. Cluster feeding is normal. Re sleeping in cot or moses basket, we used to rock her or feed her to sleep then wait about 20 mins until she was in a deep sleep - you can do the floppy limb test - then put her in the cot or basket. Swaddling is good too, and white noise. And darkness. We had a bedside cot so she slept next to me but didn't need to think about safe co-sleeping as such. I think the main things are she's not near your pillows or duvet etc, you don't drink or smoke etc, and she's not meant to be inbetween you. Although when we bring her into bed it's normally when she's woken early in the morning and I do put her inbetween us so she doesn't fall out! Got to go, OH tried to settle her but it's not working. Chat soon all xx

 

[charlie15]

Thank you for all your advice, am up feeding at the moment but crashed out for 3 hours before while OH had her in sling, we have found that she's just as happy in sling with dad so at least that gives me a chance to sleep. Will try the floppy limb test tonight before I put her down and hopefully she'll settle. Would love to use her rocker but at the moment she's too small. Maybe over the next few weeks once she's grown.

 

[AngelUK]

Terrible night, I am so tired I want to cry. Ok no so it wasn't as bad as it used to be but still bad. We went to bed at 9:30 cause we were both so tired! At 12 Dom cried so I fed him and Sebastian. At 2 Dom cried again and I had to pick him up and rock him to put him back to sleep. 2:25 Dom cries again. Luckily the dummy was all that was needed. At 4 Sebastian starts crying. I redummy him, he is ok but Dom wants his food. At 5 Sebastian starts crying, I go put the dummy back in but am back up 10 minutes later as he starts crying again, waking Dom in the process. Seb is really wailing so I pick him up and rock him which he doesn't like so I put him up against my shoulder and he calms down a bit but is now wide awake. I think ok he needs his nappy changing. Seb starts wailing again as I put him on the changing thing. I pick him up again and pat him a bit and then change him but all there was was pee. So I put Sebastian back in his cot. Dom of course is awake again then and will not go back to sleep. Sebastian is asleep again soon after but Dom won't fall asleep. So at 6:15 I change Dom cause he is wet and since then he has been in his bed chatting and whining. And I am out here in the kitchen drinking one coffee after the other thinking how many hours till OH gets up so I can have a nap??

Eta: Welcome Charlie. Sorry I haven't greeted you properly. I want to properly but right now I need to see to Dom, again.

 

[clio]

Hey everyone. It's been a long day, so I've been terribly neglectful with my personals, even though there is so much I want to respond to!

First:

Charlie--Leeze is absolutely right. The first six weeks are usually the hardest because they simply. will. not. let. you. put. them. down!!! Jonah had a Moses Basket, but he hated it, and cried between every one to three hours. If I held him and slept with him, though, he was right as rain. Because I'm in Canada and don't always understand you UKers and your strange words for things, I'm not certain what a "rocker" is. Is it similar to the Fisher Price Rock 'n Play? So many swear by it, especially those who have LOs with reflux because it's on an incline. I think many use it from birth, so I don't think you have to wait for your LO to grow into it. I think the "bunny" one is the most popular version now because there were complaints that the original didn't have enough padding around the head.

Two more tips, though feel free to ignore them (especially tip #2):
1.) see if you can get a copy of Dr. Karp's "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It saved our bacon and we managed to get J to sleep almost every time in the beginning because of it.

2.) if your husband is home for the next three weeks, see if you can do the nights in shifts. There was once a poll in Baby Club, where people were asked how hard they found the first few weeks, and all of those who traded off in the middle of the night with their OH had a much easier experience. I don't really know how that would work with BFing and cluster feeding (we FF), but I suppose expressing would have to fit in there somewhere. My husband and I did it, and we appear to have weathered those first weeks relatively well (well, as well as one possibly can). I would stay up until 3 am--watching TV in the living room where J slept in his basket--and then was relieved by my husband.

OMG, I'm falling asleep. I'll try to finish tomorrow.

 

[SabrinaKat]

also had a bad evening (he finally went to sleep last night around midnight and just woke up (it's about 7.50 here)....was okay yesterday afternoon and took a nap from 4.15 to 6, and then around 7 -- he was screaming, projectile vomiting and not a very happy baby -- plus his temperature was about 38.8 (he even projectile vomited the calpol out and on to mummy); OH was useless and we rowed whilst LO was poorly BUT (and a huge BUT), after vomiting and changing clothes to footless rompers (rather than a babygro), he was/is fine. He took a short nap around 9pm, then woke upand wanted to play, but laughing, smiling, etc., until he decided to go back to sleep. I've taken the day off work and will take him to the GP, but at the moment, he is smiling, playing and seems okay (and temperature is back to normal)....sigh....

welcome new mums - charlie! (and of course, skweek -- see my previous from yesterday!) -- just try to rest whenever you can (even if it's not sleeping, it's resting your body and hopefully your mind) and agree with clio regarding 'shift work' at night, as my OH and I did the same (TV at 2am is dire here!)

re: emcs- I had one due to the pre-eclampsia, but we were scheduled for one anyway (tmi -- but wanted one as previous mc had left me having psychological problems and even if in 'labour' would have wanted a doctor/ob-gyn rather than a mid-wife anyway. so, I was actually very relaxed when we had LO as was worried that my ill health might affect baby (who was and is fine even coming at 36wks (he was almost 7lbs)....

off to play with LO! sorry, no real personals, but ladies with LOs in creche -- it does get easier and yesterday, when LO was poorly for a little while, they called me (left message) and contacted my OH to let us know and also, he does seem to like it there, but it takes a little time.

bye!!!

 

[Rowan75]

wow lots of emcs! oh lordy Im trying not to think about labour - I have requested tot he fates a natural labour - no induction - in water with no struggle, no tear ta da! oh and only 5 hours long max - LMAO!!! well you never know!! watch Ill be induced, 5 day labour failed vontoose, failed forceps, 4 degree tear then emcs!! as long as baby is fine its all good!

welcome Charlie- the first 6-8 weeks are defo the hardest - may be worth tilting one end of the moses basket to see if that makes any difference? M only cat napped from being brand new until about 2 weeks ago! and has only just started sleeping in her cot during the day - once you can get out and about you could walk and see if that settles you lo! M fed every 2 hours 24-7 til 8 weeks (bottle) - it defo gets easier - from around 8 weeks then from 3 months its great fun!

M getting cross in her playpen so will pop back if she has afternoon nap! we went shopping today gah - had not realised how busy the retail park would be doh! got some new purple shoes for M tho v cute!!!

 

[Leeze]

Stopping by to catch up but unfortunately my phone battery has almost gone and we're getting stuff sorted at the new flat so I don't have my charger with me so quick one only again.
Angel, what a hellish night you had. Big hugs and hoping you have a better one tonight.
Sabrina, sorry to hear Finn isn't well, poor little fella. Thanks for reassurance about nursery. Means a lot.
Charlie, I echo what Clio said about shifts. I breastfeed and the way we did it in those early weeks was that OH would take LO for a few hours after a feed and I would go for a nap. So, I'd nap from say 8 till 10pm then after 10pm feed go to bed. Also, at weekends he would get up sometimes in the night and help with changing her and winding her etc. Also, I used to go back to bed inve morning after the 7am feed. Got to go, OH needs me

 

[Storm1jet2]

Afternoon ladies, another pants night for us too.. ten times she had me awake...

Charlie I co-sleep now but only since she was about 8 months, she was in a crib when she was newborn, she always hated the Moses basket.

L is at nursery, she cried again I'm trying to hold off going to get her. I had a work meeting today which was scary, made it all real, I have to go back to work.... Sob.....

L has been so terrible at night I thought she was ill, got my brother to check her out, he's a Dr, and gr wants me to try her on lactose free milk. I asked my own Dr for this when she was 6 weeks and he refused.. anyway, long story short I got some sma lactose free and she HATES it, in fairness it really stinks.. so now I've bought some lactofree but technically she should be one before she has that, but I guess I want to see if she will even entertain it, it can't taste as bad as the formula! She's such a windy little madam its worth a go... Should know in a couple of days.

Leeze apparently pretty common for sleep issues to start once they start nursery, Ls sleeping is so bad I would never know

I suppose I should at least put the shopping away before I get L! I tried to do some Christmas shopping but my hearts not in it