any other over 35 first time mums?

[clio]

Claire-- Your poor mum. When do the staples come out (sorry if you already told us!) You must be overwhelmed right now!

Borboleta--Numbers came with our Toys R Us magnets. Maybe with yours, too? As for J, after "mastering" numbers (which he has now whittled down to: 1, 2, 3, 9, 10), he's onto singing, so I don't think he'll be too interested in letters yet. But once the singing phase is over, I'll leave some alphabet stuff around! Your tips really help!

And I laughed when you said that T says "Go!" for a green light, because J says "Stop!" for a red! J goes up to every sign as well, but then bangs on the post like a drum and says "post! post!" That's as far as we've gotten with sign recognition...


***Oh no. J didn't stay down for his nap. I've got to go! ***

 

[SabrinaKat]

Finn loves his numbers and will usually put all the correct wooden numbers back onto the board, but not quite interested in abc (although we are trying words)...for a minute I was thinking that he was very gifted when I said go get me number 2 and he did and then I asked for number 3 and he did, but got confused at 4 and 5 and I realised it was because the number puzzle had animals on it and he was identifying the animals (e.g. bring me 2 - 2 rabbits or 3 - 3 cats), so he will no doubt be fantastic at bingo in the very distant future (88 - two fat ladies!)....!

I have been rediscovering clothes (I have many from 20-30 years ago when I worked at Benetton, Laura Ashley, etc and brought a few boxes with me when I moved overseas) as I can wear some of my in-between clothes (e.g. have lost the pregnancy weight, but want to lose another 20lbs-30lbs to be back to my 20s, but it is fun to try on a sweater that I couldn't wear last year, etc. (remember was heavy for awhile before losing weight for possible IVF then got preggers -- I am officially 'overweight' now according to BMI, BUT my tummy is still big (but on another positive - finally retired (e.g. threw away) preggers knickers and tried on three sizes below and they FIT! (I wear a comfortable 36 (16 UK/12 USA) at the moment!), so that is very exciting....I want to lose some weight before going to USA (shopping!)....

hope all are well and hugs!

 

[Leeze]

so much to catch up on! hugs x

 

[kosh]

evening all

storm - sorry about the vomiting episode. it reminded me of what happened the other day: on the way back home I drunk some of Gael's smoothie that had been kept at room temperature in his buggy all day, and it had fermented already (it was fizzy). I had to run home and I almost didn't make it to the loo!!

indigo - I was a single child too, and although I keep saying that I don't want Gael to be a single child, I don't think that was actually that bad
have you tested again?
funny, I just remembered when I got my BFP when I was on holiday in Mexico in 2011 and posted the news on the 'TTC over 35' thread.

and to the other ladies TTC - where in your cycle are you? anyone testing soon? leeze? charlie?

claire - hope your mum is ok

clio - sorry to hear about your dad. is the op confirmed?


sabrina - I think that's quite advanced too if F identifies the number of animals! I think that's called pre-verbal counting or something like that

oh that reminds me - has anyone read 'The language Instinct'? I read it a while ago but I am tempted to read it again now (when? ) that I see G's language developing

borboleta - does T say all the letters? wow, I'm impressed!

and a smoke machine? wow, that's a big production! I usually just put a skeleton on the door to say that it's haloween friendly, as sabrina said.

re. Halloween, - are you all dressing your LOs up? as what?

clio - loved the story about J and his grandparents on the phone!!

angel - how is the painting going? apologies if you said it already, who is your client?
how are the boys doing? It's understandable that they will get jealous of each other, try not to get too concerned
Also, is Seb's eating better now?
You know, I still have that half written post for you, I should PM it to you

question:
are your LOs addicted to telly? Gael was fine until a week or so ago. he wake sup in the morning and the first thing he says, after his milk, is that he wants to watch a video! same when we come back from nursery/work!

and another one - Gael refuses all vegetables - any tips?

kitty - how's Blake eating/puking? any better?

I have finally decided to go and visit my mum in Spain. Got the tickets a few days ago, we're going on the 15 Nov. I will go on my own with G (ie no DH). It's a 2.5hr flight and he'll be on my lap I'm regretting it already!
He's dificult enough on a 30min metro journey............

 

[kosh]

oh, Gael has learnt to say thank you in makaton

 

[SabrinaKat]

kosh - I have the Language Instinct on a shelf next to me....may have to look at it again as well!

sssssssssh - called in 'sick' with a headache, which I have (a little, but nothing some coffee won't help (hopefully))....to work on applications as cannot find the time to do them with LO running around, so must dash!

hugs!

 

[Borboleta]

Just a quick one, I will reply more later

Kosh: thiago and tv !!! He loves tv!! Can sit in there for hours !!! He normally watches during meal time , sometimes the only way he will sit and eat; if I have to get ready or wash dishes otherwise the boy will be between my legs and I can't do anything. Or if we go for long car rides. But he always watches shows that are teaching him something like the alphabet. And yes the boy knows all the alphabet but will not say about 4 letters ( but he knows what they are if you ask " where is letter j?"; he just can pronounce it). I might have a genius in my hands like Sabrina said but he is no J or Lydia when is about speaking .
And you know what kind of advice I can give you on trying to make Gael eat veggies ... None... Because my child doesn't eat any !! Although once Ina blue moon he will grab a broccoli out of his plate ( 2 times a year). I even tried to do the smoothie thing that one of the ladies from the picky eater thread mentioned disguising broccoli and carrots in there with strawberry and bananas. It tasted good to me but he didn't agree with me!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Kosh L loves tv and tbh sometimes its a relief to have something to distract her! As for veggies shes not too bad but hates carrots and sweet potato?

I'm off work today getting carpet at my dads, well ours but you know,what I mean. The carpet fitters have gone so dh is hoovering up the mess so we can return all dads stuff to where it should be!

I'm tired now after a morning of making cupcakes or as we call them in NI, 'wee buns' for work tomorrow.. what was I thinking! Oh better go and help dh!

 

[clio]

Hi guys--feeling like an awful mother right now. J is at his Day House for the third time, and he didn't want me to leave. The last time--his second time--he was apparently harder to console after I had left, but this didn't seem to be too much of a problem. But he did have a few meltdowns. From what I understand, at one point, he didn't want to come in from outside, and he refused to sit and listen to a story or to music and whatever they do with the music (hand movements, maybe?). And this is what I'm worried about.

J has never sat through anything since he was an infant and could only pull himself along with his arms. I once went to a Parent and Infant Sing-a-long at the library, and never went again because a) I thought it was stupid (my own hubris, I agree), and b) I couldn't get J to sit still. He kept on crawling into the middle of the circle and I kept on having to pull him back. My joint was also incredibly inflamed back then, and there were also a lot of mummy/baby bounces and twirling and so on. It was too painful for me, and OH didn't want to take him.

Fast forward to Gymboree last year. Again, we were supposed to do certain things as a group, but J wouldn't stay put. I was always chasing him to bring him back to the group to listen, but he wouldn't stay. When OH took him to Gymboree, he didn't even bother making J sit and listen; he gave J free-rein for the entire session. Then OH started to let J run around on his own in stores and malls, which was pretty effin' annoying, frankly. But J got so used to that that I had to put him in his stroller if I went shopping alone, because I couldn't catch him in the stores. And that stroller was heavy, and hurt my joint. So my excursions with J alone became few and far between.

Fast forward again to the gymnastic class we enrolled in a few months ago. He wouldn't listen to me at all that day, and wouldn't sit in a circle, or wait his turn, or do what he was supposed to do, according to the coach. I thought it was an age issue, so I managed to get him to go up a level. But then I saw the kids staying with their parents for the next level up as well, especially for the instruction periods, and my heart sank, and I pulled him from gymnastics altogether. He doesn't even sit for books; we read to him while he stands by us. Oh, and now he doesn't want us to even read him books; he wants to read them on his own.

The day home caregiver asked after the second day if he had been around other children much, and I said yes, without really thinking about it. But he hasn't. He's been around his cousins, and the boys next door occasionally, but otherwise... I found a daycare forum where someone had a similar problem, and she was lambasted by all the caregivers on the site, saying that she had taught her child to be the Alpha in the household, when she should have been more strict with him.

What if my delightfully independent J is actually a spoilt brat? I don't know what to do, and feel incredibly guilty!!!

Sorry guys, this is an incredibly long post regarding only me. I haven't even read anyone else's posts. But can any of you tell me if I'm basically, well, screwed when it comes to daycare because he won't sit in a circle and listen?

 

[SabrinaKat]

oh, clio - hugs! J is NOT spoilt at all, but independent and creative! He won't conform because you are letting him be himself. Finn will sit in my lap (on the floor) for a few minutes to play, but he much rather prefers to explore and play. Right now, I am sneaking on the laptop only because Finn is taking apart the phone....oops! just saw me, so must go (did do one application and am thinking about another one (I think and puzzle before writing my cover letters and proposed courses, etc)....

bye!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Ha Clio you are so not screwed, ultimately its up to daycare to 'train' J to follow THEIR rules. L runs around like a lunatic at home but seems to do what required in nursery. J will learn the daycare setup and let's be honest its their problem not yours Remember allthe screaming and crying I went through with L when she started nursery and now she actually likes it. Don't panic, he will settle.. eventually xx

 

[clio]

Storm--why is there no "I love you" button? You and some more reading about how ridiculous it is to make a two year old sit still for longer than five/ten minutes, has made me feel better about it. Though we'll see--Day Houses haha can terminate your contract if they feel that the child is too much to deal with. But she seems like a kind woman, who will hopefully help J along. I just wish there were more kids in her home at the moment; she just started up again after moving house, so she still has to gather children from her new neighbourhood. It's also a bit cramped in her house right now because the basement isn't ready yet (the house was just built). Ultimately she is allowed 6 children total, including her own, so the ratio is good. I just wish that more than just J and a one year old are the only kids on his days there.

Oma's picking him up today, and with her vast daycare knowledge, I'll see what she says, and what the woman who runs it says about J's day.

I'm going to have to go back and read the older posts more carefully, but I read the fermented juice story, and poor little L (and you!). Do you have a "changing after a vomit" routine down pat by now?

 

[Borboleta]

Clio: I was just thinking about asking the same question. I tried to take thiago to a story time at the library first and than a book store but he only sat down with me for 5 min!!! Than he is wants to play in the elevator or the escalators!!! Today he lasted about 9 min because they gave milk and cookies to the children and that is about how long it took him to have that cookie down his belly. He didn't want the cold milk. And I saw some young children just sitting nicely watching the lady reading books but I was the first one that had to leave even before the lady started reading actually !! I don't want thiago to have a meltdown and disturb the other kids so I just left when he started getting a little frustrated. I guess it is like my Mil says "no wonder they are called toddlers because they like to toddle around". Not sure what do to do either Clio .

 

[Leeze]

Kia.doesnt sit still for.long.in groups either..I mostly go.to.stuff.where.it's free play or where the person running the group.is happy for.them to run around. at nursery.they always tell me she's a "good girl" - peer.pressure, I guess.

It was really hard for.me.initially to leave Kia in nursery as she got so upset. it took about 5 or 6 weeks before she settled. she loves it there now although sometimes still finds it hard to separate

Kosh - Kia won't eat veggies easily either. Occasionally a bit of.corn on the cob. Otherwise.I puree them in a sauce - either.bolognese style or creamy garlic and then serve with animal-shaped.pasta. she will.often eat it then. at nursery they tell.me what a good eater she is!

 

[Claireyb1]

Hi ladies, Lucy never sits still! When we go to Gymboree she is always the one that is off into something else and not paying a blind bit of attention to what's going on

I'm having a tough time lately. Everything seems to be getting on top of me
I was so tired yesterday as Lucy had me up from 4am onwards and that doesn't even include the wakings that happened before that! I was barely functioning and I still had to watch Lucy, my mum and her dogs.
I'm really struggling to see how I can ttc #2 ? Lucy's sleep is still so dire!
I really don't want to make Decision to not have another child and then live a lifetime of regret that I didn't try??!!
Oh dear ,feeling very sorry for myself

I hope everyone is ok.
Xx

 

[Storm1jet2]

Clairey I am not surprised you are feeling like that - your mum has just had majot surgery and you have had 2 years of sleep deprivation! Are you still co sleeping? I know its not for everyone but I honestly found that getting L into her own little toddler bed has been really helpful - don't get me wrong our nights are far from perfect and she often still ends up in with me but I can generally get a few blocks of sleep! I'm kind of laughing as I type this though as I am seriously not the person to be takling sleep advice from... but I do know that a couple of decent nights sleep really make the world seem a brighter nicer place.

Clio I have been thinking about J and the day care too, surely they can only terminate the contract of the childs behaviour is very bad? I don't think running around and not being able to sit still classifys as bad in anyway and I'd love to meet any childminder that thought it was Honestly L is a realy live wire and the only time she sits still is watching Peppa pig, she doesn't move watching it - but the second the break is on and the adverts are on shes up and away, or jumping on me or getting me to 'Lie down' so she can put me to sleep etc etc... I can't even get her to sit down for her dinner most of the time and our good habit of us all sitting around the table has pretty much dissolved into dinner time free for all!

Im wrecked at the minute - I can't sleep very well at the minute and L is still hit and miss with her sleeping.. and I know its going to get a whole lot worse before it gets any better - I just hope I get a sleeper this time!

Hello to everyone else - need to go and do some work now Laters!

 

[kosh]

claire - from another sleep deprived mum, big

clio - sorry I couldn't reply yesterday, I think the child carer comments re. J are nonsense. Ok, he doesn't sit still, so what? that surely doesn't mean that he's spoilt, just means....that he likes running around!

charlie - I thought of you today, when G lifted my top exposing my flabby belly on the metro!

leeze - I thought about mixing puree veg in sauces, hope I can fool him!

to all

 

[clio]

Claire-- I just wanted to post quickly to say that I'm wondering if being so tired is simply overwhelming you. Perhaps once things settle down with your mum and the dogs, you might feel better and think in less dire terms? That's my experience, anyway, and it always takes OH to point out that I shouldn't worry about something because I'm exhausted and my mind always turns to bad stuff then. Does that happen to you, too?

SK--I missed your post telling me the same thing as Storm. Thank you, as well! Aren't those applications a drag? Do you at least have courses you've already created so you can just use them? And are you applying for language, Roman history, or Classics jobs? (Or all of them?)

I hope you have fun on your shopping trip! Isn't it nice to have to buy clothes because yours are now too big? Congratulations!

Borboleta--sounds like you have exactly the same worry! I'm glad there are experts here to reassure us! So, if we were to put T and J side-by-side, we'd find that they're basically the same height and weight, just completely opposite in looks! J still asks me to pull up a picture of Thiago all the time (I've bookmarked a FB one of yours--and yes, I know that's creepy.)



AFU (As for us)--J's actual day was wonderful, it turned out. There was another little girl there this time who is around J's age, and they "played" together. When Oma arrived, he ran straight to her with a wide smile, said "Oma!", demanded three hugs , and ran straight back to play. Oma also loved the Day House and the woman who runs it. She was very, very pleased with the ambience. What's great about Fauziah, the woman who runs the House, is that English isn't her first language. Although she is utterly fluent, she speaks in a calm, careful and measured way, which is very reassuring for all involved.

Though I have to say, I have never worried about my boy as much as I did yesterday. And I suppose this was nothing compared to the rest of you who had to put your LO in a creche!

Sorry guys, I'm feeling down (just temporarily), so my post is completely incomplete. I just wanted to tell you that my worries were unfounded, and thank you for reassuring me. XOX

 

[clio]

Oh, Storm, your description of L sounds just like J! Though he does takes his eating very seriously, but that appears to be the only difference! I hope you get your much-deserved sleeper this time!

ETA: the whole termination thing came about because of this crazy forum I was on, where there is obviously a caregiver/parent divide. The caregivers are always on the defensive, and blame the parents for everything, so they have these fights on their threads. It was one of those fight threads that I read and it made me feel pretty rotten. I don't mean to say that Fauziah was the one to say any of this. She just told me what J had done that day, and asked if he had been around other kids much. That's all she said. I just managed to take it to an all new level of paranoia and self-doubt... Stupid internet.

 

[Borboleta]

Clio: isn't it lovely how our minds can just takes us to a dark place that unless someone snap at us we can go on and on and on ! But I think as moms we will be always worriers !!!
And I loved that J wants to see a picture of thiago !!! That is too cute. Not creepy at all .

Kosh: I laughed so hard and imagined you at the metro and having your shirt pulled up by your child and everyone staring at you !!! I would have turned purple !!!

Claire: and so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. You do have a lot on your plate right now and being sleep deprived makes it worst for sure. I wonder what would happen to L is you tried to put her in her own room? I am sure she would cry and I do agree that there is so much we can handle as crying goes . But don't worry I think once your mom feels better, you will be able to start thinking of ttc. I do remember you saying that you really want another one. I know it is hard in our age to say this but just take it day by day and sooner or later you will be "okay I am ready for another one".

After having two little stincker naps the past 2 days ( thiago decided that after 1:15 min of napping is a good time to poop!!!), today we are back on the 2,5 hours nap wagon. Actually he is still sleeping . Since I can't get anything over 10 hours of sleep at night out of him, I am loving the long nap.
When he wakes up we are off to find him another costume ( he has a couple of Halloween parties to go). My MIL already got him a dragon costume but I saw it today a Yoda one and I thought it was so cute. OH still wants superman.

And my dad will be here the next weekend . Just for one week but still will be so nice to see him and see what thiago will do with him . My dad is a very touchy feeling person so it will be funny to see how thiago will deal with all the loving !!!!

to everyone else.