Any Scottish April 2013 babies out there??

[lj2245]

Looong edited rant

 

[bbymc]

Man, what a nightmare! I'm pretty shocked that she still won't pay for repairs considering your carrying Steven's baby. You would think that would make her want to do all she can to make the house better for a newborn. That's very odd. She definitely sounds very selfish.

Why does steven not have a word with her though? It sounds like she won't have much of a relationship with the new grandchild when it comes. Does that not bother him?

I don't blame you for not wanting her around at Xmas! Maybe you could go to some family counselling or something where there is a mediator so you could all air your grievances and sort it out?

Did she know you were waiting in the car last week? Lol xx

 

[lj2245]

Yeah she knew lol. There's no point in any kind of counselling. She knows why I am annoyed at her, she knows what repairs need done and she's just ignoring it.

Stephen is a nightmare. He refuses to deal with any of it. I think he's hoping it will go away. For his sake, there have been about 5 occasions when I have said 'Fine, I'll put it all behind us and get on with her for your sake' and it lasts about 2 minutes before she does something else. She has never once apologised for anything.

I'll say to Stephen 'You would think she would be concerned about the amount of time she'll get to spend with the baby if I refuse to allow her in the house' and he just says 'I'll take the baby to visit her', So she isn't suffering at all really, he just facilitates her. He has let her away with so much and it makes me so angry. I seriously think we are going to end up divorced because of it. I resent paying this woman so much money every month when we are struggling so much, for a house that has no hot water and is covered in damp. Other houses in the area are £100 a month less to rent!!

When we went to Cuba to get married we were going to go for 2 weeks and have everyone else come for a week so we could have a week alone. She insisted on going for 2 weeks. She booked and paid for 2 weeks so we had to increase to 3 weeks. My Dad paid for the whole thing. She gave us £50 in a card and I could tell that was begrudged. It wasn't like she needed a 2 week holiday. She got back from Cuba and the following week went to Turkey for 2 weeks. In the 10 weeks we have been married she's had 4 holidays. And she can't pay a heating engineer to come out and fix our thermostat? She can't replace the front door? She can't repair the walls?

She tried to tell us she wanted 3 months notice if we were moving out so she could put the house up for sale. I laughed. I'll be giving her no notice at all. She'll never sell this dump.

 

[bbymc]

Aw man. You're just married. If its that bad that you think you and Steven will end up divorced over it, maybe you should get some sort of counselling with just Steven. He probably feels totally stuck in the middle. But to be fair, he should be supporting you and not facilitating her. Does he not realise how his mum treating you both is affecting you? Maybe he doesn't realise its as bad as it is? Does he know you think it might split you up?

Maybe she isn't going out her way to upset you, like with the wedding. Maybe she just doesnt realise you were that bothered?

I really feel for you. It must be horrible!

 

[lj2245]

She knows. She's not an idiot. We have had many many conversations about it and she doesn't care. When I said I didn't want anyone to come to Cuba for 2 weeks, and told her my family had booked for a week she said she didn't care and would be going for 2 weeks.

Stephen has his head buried firmly in the sand. I know if it comes to a head and he has to make a choice, he will take my side but I don't want that to happen. I just want him to realise that she's being out of order and tell her so. He thinks we can just move out of here and everything will be back to normal but it won't be like that at all. I still won't want anything to do with her. I don't want to have to move my son to another house. I don't want to have to be househunting while pregnant. Fair enough it's not her fault that Stephen can't buy the house any more but she's his mother, she should want to help him. We even offered to buy the house off her but rather than get a mortgage we would pay her the worth of the house over 15 years and then she would sign the house over to us, with us paying for all maintenance. I said I didn't mind paying maintenance if we would have a house at the end of it. She was in a position to do that but said no. She just wants us to keep paying rent to her every month, to stay here forever and also for us to pay for all the maintenance. She wants everything her way and is unwilling to compromise on any level. I said we would rent forever if thats what she wanted but she'd have to pay the maintenance - she said no.

I'm just sick of it all. Stephen needs to man up. I think it will happen when the baby comes and he realises his Mum has been shitty.

 

[bbymc]

Yeah, hopefully he realises when the baby comes. It all sounds pretty full on and a lot to deal with while pregnant. You'd have thought she would want to make life easier for the two of you. It's a real shame. It'll be her loss at the end of the day though. Her behaviour will lead her to a very sad and lonely existence. And she will probably lose all relationships with Steven in the end. Especially if nothing changes. It's tough on you guys but hopefully Steven will realise he needs to lay down the law once baby comes and the situation may be somewhat resolved.

Would she not agree to go halves with you on the maintenance? Just so it's better for baby coming? Xx

 

[lj2245]

edited rant!

 

[bbymc]

Wow, those are some extensive problems! No wonder you don't want to pay half! I guess moving out and renting elsewhere is your only option. But to be fair, it will rid You of all the hassle and ties to your Mother in law so it sounds like a pretty good option to me!

I would place bets though that she repairs the house as soon as you move out so she can sell it. I'm guessing that would just amplify your hatred for her? It would me! Xx

 

[lj2245]

Edited rant!!

 

[bbymc]

Well just keep an eye out. A house will come p eventually. And in the mean time, keep,your distance from Steven's mum. Not that that will be hard for you lol! It will be hard for Shaun if you need to move but it will be better in the long run as you wont be as stressed, but also, he will be living in a house which isn't damaged. I hope it's not too long before you find somewhere else to live.

It must be hard to Stephen. He probably doesn't know what to do and is probably torn. Maybe once baby comes he will suddenly realise things need to change and go to his mum demanding she does the nessecary repairs. You can only hope!

I'm glad you've got your dad though. He must think its ridiculous too lol xx

 

[lj2245]

It will work out fine but I'll never speak to that woman again. It means I'll need to be awkward though. I don't want her coming to the hospital when the baby is born. Stephen says I can't do that but I don't see why I should suffer because of a situation she caused so she doesn't have to!! She will miss out on Christmases and birthdays. It's so sad that she has made it this way. Stephen would rather stick his head in the sand and pretend nothing has happened but I am just not like him and I can't forget what she's put us through. He's a better person than me I guess.

 

[lj2245]

Oh yeah, we also paid for wall cavity and loft insulation! I forgot about that lol. She's done well out of it, the house is in better condition now than it was before I moved in. Plus she's had £12000 off us in rent.

 

[bbymc]

I don't think it's that Stephen is a better person than you. Not at all. It's because she is his mum. He will feel a loyalty to her even if she is doing things that are nasty, wrong and downright selfish.

I don't blame you for not wanting her at the hospital when the baby is born! I wouldn't either. Last thing you would need then is more stress. She can easily get a phonecall. It doesn't sound like she is too bothered about the baby anyway. Surely she would be helping you out more if she was. Crazy woman lol xx

 

[lj2245]

Lol all she's done is moan about the baby calling her gran. Shaun already has a gran so he calls her nana. Now her actual grandchild is coming along, nana isn't good enough. I don't even think she actually cares, she just wants to make it all about her as usual.

Anyway, enough of my MIL woes. How are you all? Havent heard from Mary in a while, anyone know how she's doing?

I might go back later and edit the massive messages down, there's way too much info for the other girls to catch up on there lol.

 

[CherylC3]

Hey ladies god she sounds a nightmare Hun...x

Mary posted on the April thread a scan pic everything looks great. X

Afm still sicky but my friend I was visiting yesterday. Her waters broke at midnight so hoping baby comes today can't wait to see wot she has I think boy. X

 

[lj2245]

Aww that's good Maybe she'll come and catch up with us soon

When do you ladies have your scans? Mine is tomorrow then the 4th.

I'm still bad with MS too. Last night was terrible, it felt like it did at 6w again. I've had it this morning too, for the first time in ages.

 

[CherylC3]

Aw tomoro how exciting Hun. Mines is Friday. Cx

 

[lj2245]

When is your 12 week scan?

 

[CherylC3]

I don't kno think il find out tomoro. X

 

[lj2245]

Booking appt tomorrow? Mine isn't until the 27th and they said they would send my scan card away then but I was worried it would mean no scan until 14 - 15 weeks as it can take a week to come back with an appt and they have to give you notice. They said because my booking appt was so late they would send my scan card away early. I dunno what I'm going to do without the fortnightly scans after the 12 week one right enough. I might end up having a nervous breakdown lol.

I have a sore throat coming on... I have a lump on my right tonsil too. Oh dear.